Overview
- Female: 1
- Male: 1
Context
In this scene, Buck, a self-proclaimed UFO abductee tries to convince suspicious waitress, Chelsea, that the mysterious noises and commotion are evidence of alien activity. Sensible Chelsea is wary of Buck’s beliefs but gets sucked into his fear-mongering. Eventually they become trapped in the bar with a women’s social group, The Crimson Cap Ladies, who must all work together to discover why the staff has suddenly succumbed to apparent mind-control.
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Buck: You guys got lots of foil? You’re going to need it.
Chelsea: So we don’t miss out on the latest fashion craze?
Buck: No! So the mother-ship won’t be able to control you and force you to do things against your will.
Chelsea: Control me and force me to do things against my will? I already have Theresa for that.
Buck: You think I’m joking but I’m deadly serious.
Chelsea: So is Theresa most of the time.
Buck: We are facing an existential threat from beyond the stars and all you can do is crack wise?
Chelsea: Two months ago, you claimed government agents were the ones controlling our minds and wanted us to wear already-been-used Burger Bar foil burger envelopes you dug out of the trash as hats to prevent being manipulated.
Buck: The Burger Bar wouldn’t let me have any of the unused ones.
Chelsea: It took me three shampoos to get the relish and grease out of my hair. Then last month, you claimed that some of our townsfolk had been replaced with aliens.
Buck: Okay, you can laugh, but when they come for you and you are screaming for help, I’ll remember this conversation.
Chelsea: With the amount you drink, I somehow doubt it. Anyway, I don’t believe in space dudes or alien pods or any of that UFO stuff. After all, even if there was such a thing as UFO dudes, why would they come to Earth generally and this godforsaken backwater specifically?
Buck: Much easier to pick us off one by one… you’ll think it’s just another boring day when suddenly all things electrical just go crazy… then the thought-waves come, drawing you against your will. You can try to run but if you wait too long they will get you and poke you and probe you and leave you in a ditch somewhere.
Chelsea: Sorry, Buck, but that sounds like my average Saturday night. Frankly, I think you are full of… (The bar lights start to flicker on and off… a strange, loud,sustained mechanical noise is heard) Holy fartcakes, Batman, what the hell was that?
Buck: It’s them! Grab the foil!
Chelsea: It’s in the restaurant! Under the broken hand sanitizer!
Buck: There’s no time for that now, we have to try and run before they take over our minds and we get probed!
Chelsea: Out there!
Buck: That’s where the noise came from! This way! Through the restaurant!
Links
For licensing inquiries, please visit The Crimson Cap Ladies Save the Day
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