Start: Tricia: So he was all like, “...
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Marcy and Tricia, two “mean girls” who secretly carry the ingredients to make White Russians out of their milk boxes, are having lunch in their school cafeteria. Their conversation covers complaints about “gay” teachers who don’t give good grades for low cleavage, fat nemesis Fatty-fat Frieda, tater tots, and sporks. Marcy and Tricia are foul-mouthed and and full of attitude, and they bond and express their power by putting other people down. Their personal balance of power shifts imperceptibly
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Start:
Tricia: So he was all like, “Woh woh woh Woh woh woh. Woh woh woh wowoh woh.” He is such a dick! So, I’m like, “Excuse me, Mr. Von Pfefferkorn, but just because I can’t define metaphor doesn’t mean I don’t know what one is, you stupid buttwad!
Marcy: You called Mr. Von Pfefferkorn a buttwad?!
Tricia: No, of course not. I added that to the story for dramatic effect.
End:
Marcy: Duh! I looked it up on the Internet. Every time we do get drunk at school, you pick up a spork and say, “The spork is such a great invention. I wonder where it came from.” So, I decided that I was going to be ready one day with the answer.
Tricia: How brilliant of you. I’m depressed.
Royal, Bert V. Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead. Dramatists Play Service, New York, NY. 2006. pp. 15-18.
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