The Pardoner and the Friar

Friar. Deus hie, the Holy Trinity,

Preserve all that now here be !

Dear brethren, if ye will consider

The cause, why I am come hither,

Ye would be glad to know my intent :

For I come not hither for money nor for rent,

I come not hither for meat nor for meal,

But I come hither for your soul's heal :

I come not hither to poll nor to shave,

I come not hither to beg nor to crave,

I come not hither to gloss nor to flatter,

I come not hither to babble nor to clatter,

I come not hither to fable nor to lie,

But I come hither your souls to edify.

For we friars are bound the people to teach,

The gospel of Christ openly to preach,

As did the apostles by Christ their master sent,

To turn the people and make them to repent.

But since the apostles from heaven would not

We friars now must occupy their room, [come,

We friars are bound to search men's conscience,

We may not care for groats nor for pence,

We friars have professed wilful poverty,

No penny in our purse have may we;

Knife nor staff may we none carry,

Except we should from the gospel vary.

For worldly adversity may we be in no sorrow,

We may not care to-day for our meat tomorrow,

Barefoot and barelegged must we go also :

** We may not care for frost nor snow ;

We may have no manner care, ne think

Nother for our meat nor for our drink ;

But let our thoughts fro such things be as free

As be the birds that in the air flee.

For why our Lord, cleped sweet Jesus,

In the gospel speaketh to us thus :

Through all the world go ye, saith He,

And to every creature speak ye of me ;

And show of my doctrine and cunning,

And that they may be glad of your coming.

If that you enter in any house anywhere,

Look that ye salute them, and bid my peace be there ;

And if that house be worthy and elect,

Th'ilk peace there then shall take effect;

And if that house be cursed or pervert,

Th'ilk peace then shall to yourself revert.

And furthermore, if any such there be,

Which do deny for to receive ye,

And do despise your doctrine and your lore,

At such a house tarry ye no more ;

And from your shoes scrape away the dust

To their reprefe; and I, both true and just,

Shall vengeance take of their sinful deed.

Wherefore, my friends, to this text take ye

Beware how ye despise the poor freres. [heed :

Which are in this world Christ's ministers;

But do them with an hearty cheer receive,

Lest they happen your houses for to leave ;

And then God will take vengeance in His ire.

Wherefore I now, that am a poor friar,

Did inquire where any people were

Which were disposed the Word of God to hear ;

And as I came hither, one did me tell

That in this town right good folk did dwell,

Which to hear the Word of God would be glad ;

And as soon as I thereof knowledge had,

I hither hied me as fast as I might,

Intended by the grace of God Almighty,

And by your patience and supportation,

Here to make a simple collation ;

Wherefore I require all ye in this presefnce]

For to abide and give due audience.

But, first of all,

Now here I shall

To God my prayer make,

To give ye grace

All in this place

His doctrine for to take.

[And then kneeleth down the friar saying his

prayers, and in the meanwhile entereth the

pardoner with all his relics, to declare what

each of them been, and the whole power

and virtue thereof. [grace,

Pard. God and Saint Leonard send ye all his

As many as been assembled in this place !

Good devout people that here do assemble,

I pray God that ye may all well resemble

The image after which you are wrought,

And that ye save that Christ in you bought.

Devout Christian people, ye shall all wit,

That I am comen hither ye to visit ;

Wherefore let us pray thus, ere I begin :

Our Saviour preserve ye all from sin,

And enable ye to receive this blessed pardon,

Which is the greatest under the sun :

Granted by the Pope in his bulls under lead,

Which pardon ye shall find, when ye are dead ;

That offereth outlier groats or else pence,

To these holy relics which, ere I go hence,

I shall here show in open audience,

Exhorting ye all to do to them reverence.

But first ye shall know well that I come from

Lo, here my bulls, all and some : [Rome;

Our liege Lord seal here on my patent

** I bear with me my body to warrant ;

That no man be so bold, be he priest or clerk,

Me to disturb of Christ's holy wark ;

Nor have no disdain nor yet scorn

Of these holy relics which saints have worn.

First here I show ye of a holy Jew's hip

A bone I pray you, take good keep

To my words and mark them well :

If any of your beasts' bellies do swell,

Dip this bone in the water that he doth take

o his body, and the swelling shall slake;

And if any worm have your beasts stung,

Take of this water, and wash his tongue,

And it will be whole anon ; and furthermore

Of pox and scabs, and every sore,

He shall be quite whole that drinketh of the well

That this bone is dipped in : it is truth that I tell.

And if any man, that any beast oweth,

Once in the week, ere that the cock croweth,

Fasting will drink of this well a draught,

As that holy Jew hath us taught,

His beasts and his stores shall multiply.

And, masters all, it helpeth well,

Though a man be foul in jealous rage,

Let a man with this water make his pottage,

And never more shall he his wife mistrist,

Though he in sooth the fault by her wist,

Or had she been taken with friars two or three.

And another holy relic may ye see :

He that his hand will put in this mitten,

He shall have increase of his grain,

That he hath sown, be it wheat or oats,

So that he offer pence or else groats,

And another holy relic eke here see ye may :

The blessed arm of sweet Saint Sunday ;

And whosoever is blessed with this right hand,

Cannot speed amiss by sea nor by land.

And if he offereth eke with good devotion.

He shall not fail to come to high promotion.

And another holy relic here may ye see :

great toe of the Holy Trinity ;

And whosoever once doth it in his mouth take,

He shall never be diseased with the toothache ;

Cancer nor pox shall there none breed :

This that I show ye is matter indeed.

And here is of our lady a relic full good : [hood,

Her bongrace which she ware, with her French

When she went out always for sun-burning :

Women with child which be in mourning

By virtue thereof shall be soon eased,

And of their travail full soon also released,

And if this bongrace they do devoutly kiss,

And offer thereto, as their devotion is.

Here is another relic eke, a precious one,

Of All-Hallows the blessed jaw bone,

Which relic without any fail

Against poison chiefly doth prevail ;

For whomsoever it toucheth without doubt,

All manner venom from him shall issue out ;

So that it shall hurt no manner wight.

Lo, of this relic the great power and might.

Which preserveth from poison every man !

Lo, of Saint Michael eke the brain-pan,

Which for the headache is a preservative

To every man or beast that beareth life ;

And further it shall stand him in better stead,

For his head shall never ache, when that he is dead,

Nor he shall feel no manner grief nor pain,

Though with a sword one cleave it then a-twain ;

But be as one that lay in a dead sleep. [creep,

Wherefore to these relics now come crouch and

But look that ye offering to them make,

Or else can ye no manner profit take.

But one thing, ye women all, I warrant you :

If any wight be in this place now,

That hath done sin so horrible, that she

Dare not for shame thereof shriven be,

Or any woman, be she young or old,

That hath made her husband cuckold :

Such folk shall have no power nor no grace

To offer to my relics in this place ;

And whoso findeth herself out of such blame,

Come hither to me, on Christ's holy name.

And because ye

Shall unto me

Give credence at the full

Mine auctority

Now shall ye see

Lo, here the Pope's bull !

[Now shall the friar begin his sermon, and

even at the same time the pardoner begin-

neth also to show and speak of his bulls

and auctorities come from Rome.

Friar. " Date et dabitur vobis : "

Good devout people, this place of Scripture

Pard. Worshipful masters, ye shall understand

Friar. Is to you that have no literature

Pard. That Pope Leo the Tenth hath granted with his hand

Friar. Is to say in our English tongue

Pard. And by his bulls confirmed under lead [among]

Friar. As depart your goods the poor folk

Pard. To all manner people both quick and dead [again]

Friar. And God shall then give unto you

Pard. Ten thousand years and as many Lents of pardon [plain]

Friar. This is the gospel, so is written

Pard. When they are dead, their souls for to guardon [largest wise]

Friar. Therefore give your alms in the

Pard. That will with their penny or alms deed [covetise]!

Friar. Keep not your goods : fye, fye, on

Pard. Put to their hands to the good speed [able]

Friar. That sin with God is most abhomin-

Pard. Of the holy chapel of sweet Saint Leonard [damnable]

Friar. And is eke the sin that is most

Pard. Which late by fire was destroyed and marred [how]

Friar. In Scripture eke but I say, sirs,

Pard. Ay, by the mass, one cannot hear

Friar. What a babbling maketh yonder fellow ! [frere]

Pard. For the babbling of yonder foolish

Friar. In Scripture eke is there many a place [to tell]

Pard. And also, masters, as I was about

Friar. Which showeth that many a man so far-forth lacketh grace

Pard. Pope Julius the Sixth hath granted fair and well

Friar. That when to them God hath abundance sent [pardon to them send]

Pard. And doth twelve thousand years of

Friar. They would distribute none to the indigent

Pard. That ought to this holy chapel lend

Friar. Whereat God having great indignation

Pard. Pope Boniface the Ninth also

Friar. Punished these men after a divers fashion [divers popes mo]

Pard. Pope Julius, Pope Innocent, with

Friar. As the gospel full nobly doth declare [same]

Pard. Hath granted to the sustaining of the

Friar. How dives Epulus reigning in welfare [every of you by name]

Pard. Five thousand years of pardon to

Friar. And on his board dishes delicate

Pard. And clean remission also of their sin

Friar. Poor Lazarus came begging at his

Pard. As often times as you put in

Friar. Desiring some food his hunger to relieve [coffer]

Pard. Any money into the Pardoner's

Friar. But the rich man nothing would him give

Pard. Or any money up unto it offer

Friar. Not so much as a few crumbs of bread

Pard. Or he that offereth penny or groat

Friar. Wherefore poor Lazarus of famine straight was dead

Pard. Or he that giveth the Pardoner a new coat [carry]

Friar. And angels his soul to heaven did

Pard. Or take of me other image or letter

Friar. But now the rich man, of the contrary [the better]

Pard. Whereby this poor chapel may fare

Friar. When he was dead, went to misery and pain. [deed]

Pard. And (God wot) it is a full gracious

Friar. Wherefore evermore he shall remain [your mede]

Pard. For which God shall quite you well

Friar. In brenning fire, which shall never cease [your will]

Pard. Now help our poor chapel, if it be

Friar. But I say, thou Pardoner, I bid thee hold thy peace ! [still]!

Pard. And I say, thou friar, hold thy tongue

Friar. What, standest thou there all the day smattering !

Pard. Marry, what standest thou there all the day clattering !

Friar. Marry, fellow, I come hither to

preach the Word of God,

Which of no man may be forbode ;

But heard with silence and good intent,

For why it teacheth them evident

The very way and path that shall them lead

Even to heaven's gates, as straight as any

thread. [ence,]

And he that letteth the Word of God of audi-

Standeth accursed in the great sentence;

And so art thou for interrupting me.

Pard. Nay, thou art a cursed knave, and that shalt thou see ;

And all such that to me make interruption,

The Pope sends them excommunication

By his bulls here ready to be read,

By bishops and his cardinals confirmed ;

And eke if thou disturb me any thing,

Thou art also a traitor to the king. [seal.

For here hath he granted me under his broad

That no man, if he love his heal,

Should me disturb or let in any wise ; [spise,

And if thou dost the king's commandment de-

I shall make thee be set fast by the feet,

And, where thou saidst that thou art more meet

Among the people here for to preach,

Because thou dost them the very way teach,

How to come to heaven above :

Therein thou liest, and that shall I prove,

And by good reason I shall make thee bow,

And know that I am meeter than art thou.

For thou, when thou hast taught them once the

way, [or nay ;]

Thou carest not whether they come there, yea

But when that thou hast done altogether,

And taught them the way for to come hither,

Yet all that thou canst imagine

Is but to use virtue, and abstain fro sin.

And if they fall once, then thou canst no more :

Thou canst not give them a salve for their sore.

But these my letters be clean purgation,

Although never so many sins they have done.

But when thou hast taught them the way and

all, [a fall

Yet, ere they come there, they may have many

In the way, ere that they come thither

For why the way to heaven is very slidder.

But I will teach them after another rate,

For I shall bring them to heaven's gate,

And be their guides, and conduct all things,

And lead them thither by the purse-strings,

So that they shall not fall, though that they

would. [bold :]

Friar. Hold thy peace, knave, thou art very

Thou pratest, in faith, even like a Pardoner.

Pard. Why despisest thou the Pope''s

minister?

Masters, here I curse him openly,

And therewith warn all this whole company

By the Pope's great auctority,

That ye leave him, and harken unto me ;

For, till he be assoiled, his words take none

effect,

For out of holy church he is now clean reject.

Friar. My masters, he doth but jest and rave;

It forceth not for the words of a knave ;

But to the Word of God do reverence,

And hear me forth with due audience.

Masters, I showed you ere while of alms-deed

Pard. Masters, this pardon which I showed

you before [their need]

Friar. And how ye should give poor folk at

Pard. Is the greatest that ever was, sith

God was bore [were done]

Friar. And if of your parts that thing once

Pard. For why without confession or contrition [retribution] Friar. Doubt not but God should give you

Pard. By this shall ye have clean remission [clared]

Friar. But now further it ought to be de-

Pard. And forgiven of the sins seven

Friar. Who be these poor folk, that should have your reward

Pard. Come to this pardon, if ye will come to heaven [speak and name?]

Friar. Who be those poor folk, of whom I

Pard. Come to this pardon, if ye will be in bliss

Friar. Certes, we poor friars are the same

Pard. This is the pardon, which ye cannot miss

Friar. We friars daily take pain, I say

Pard. This is the pardon, which shall men's souls win [pray]

Friar. We friars daily do both fast and

Pard. This is the pardon, the ridder of your sin [hour]

Friar. We friars travail and labour every

Pard. This is the pardon that purchaseth all grace [our Saviour]

Friar. We friars take pain for the love of

Pard. This is a pardon for all manner of trespass

Friar. We friars also go on limitation

Pard. This is the pardon, of which all mercy doth spring [nation]

Friar. For to preach to every Christian

Pard. This is the pardon, that to heaven shall ye bring [keep silence soon !]

Friar. But I say, thou Pardoner, thou wilt

Pard. Yea, it is like to be, when I have done ! [thou, I say,]

Friar. Marry, therefore the more knave art

That perturbest the Word of God, I say;

For neither thyself wilt hear God's doctrine,

Ne suffer other their ears to incline,

Wherefore our Saviour, in His holy Scripture,

Giveth thee thy judgment, thou cursed creature,

Speaking to thee after this manner :

" Maledictus qui audit verbum Dei negligenter " [no audience,]

Woe be that man, saith our Lord, that giveth

Or heareth the Word of God with negligence.

Pard. Now thou hast spoken all, sir daw,

I care not for thee an old straw ;

I had liever thou were hanged up with a rope,

Than I, that am come from the Pope,

And thereby God's minister, while thou standest and prate,

Should be fain to knock without the gate.

Therefore preach hardly thy bellyful,

But I nevertheless will declare the Pope's bull.

Friar. Now, my friends, I have afore showed ye [clared]

Pard. Now, my masters, as I have afore de-

Friar. That good it is to give your charity

Pard. That pardoners from you may not be spared [told]

Friar. And further I have at length to you

Pard. Now hereafter shall follow and ensue [should]

Friar. Who be these people that ye receive

Pard. That followeth of pardons the great virtue

Friar. That is to say us friars poor

Pard. We pardoners for your souls be as necessary

Friar. That for our living must beg fro door to door

Pard. As is the meat for our bodies hungry [proper thing]

Friar. For of our own proper we have no

Pard. For pardons is the thing that

bringeth men to heaven [giving]

Friar. But that we get of devout people's

Pard. Pardons delivereth them fro the sins seven [and three]

Friar. And in our place be friars three score

Pard. Pardons for every crime may dispense

Friar. Which only live on men's charity

Pard. Pardon purchaseth grace for all offence

Friar. For we friars wilful charity profess

Pard. Yea, though he had slain both father and mother [nor less]

Friar. We may have no money nother more

Pard. And this pardon is chief above all other [care]

Friar. For worldly treasure we may nought

Pard. For who to it offereth groat or penny bodies bare

Friar. Our souls must be rich and our

Pard. Though sins he had done never so many [behind]

Friar. And one thing I had almost left

Pard. And though that he had all his kindred slain [mind]

Friar. Which before came not to my

Pard. This pardon shall rid them from everlasting pain [thing]

Friar. And doubtless, it is none other

Pard. There is no sin so abhominable

Friar. But when ye will give your alms and offering

Pard. Which to remit this pardon is not able

Friar. Look that ye distribute it wisely

Pard. As well declareth the sentence of this letter [cry]

Friar. Not to every man that for it will

Pard. Ye cannot, therefore, bestow your money better [wise]

Friar. For if ye give your alms in that

Pard. Let us not here stand idle all the day [suffice]

Friar. It shall not both to them and us

Pard. Give us some money, ere that we go our way

Friar. But I say, thou lewd fellow thou,

Haddest none other time to show thy bulls but now?

Canst not tarry and abide till soon,

And read them then, when preaching is done?

Pard. I will read them now, what sayest thou thereto?

Hast thou anything therewith to do?

Thinkest that I will stand and tarry for thy leisure?

Am I bound to do so much for thy pleasure?

Friar. For my pleasure? nay I would thou knowest it well :

It becometh the knave never a deal

To prate thus boldly in my presence,

And let the Word of God of audience.

Pard. Let the Word of God, quod a? nay

let a whoreson drivel

Prate here all day, with a foul evil,

And all thy sermon goeth on covetise,

And biddest men beware of avarice; [thing,

And yet in thy sermon dost thou none other

But for alms stand all the day begging !

Friar. Leave thy railing, I would the advise [be wise]

Pard. Nay, leave thou thy babbling, if thou

Friar. I would thou knowest it, knave, I will not leave a whit

Pard. No more will I, I do thee well to wit

Friar. It is not thou shall make me hold my peace [thinkest it for thy ease]

Pard. Then speak on hardly, if thou

Friar. For I will speak, whither thou wilt or no [also]

Pard. In faith, I care not, for I will speak

Friar. Wherefore hardly let us both go to

Pard. See which shall be better heard of us two [ing- pardoners]

Friar. What, should ye give ought to part-

Pard. What, should ye spend on these flattering liars [bold beggars

Friar. What, should ye give ought to these

Pard. As be these babbling monks and these friars [living]

Friar. Let them hardly labour for their

Pard. Which do nought daily but babble and lie [giving]

Friar. It much hurteth them good men's

Pard. And tell you fables dear enough at a fly [ful to wark]

Friar. For that maketh them idle and sloth-

Pard. As doth this babbling friar here to-day [cark]

Friar. That for none other thing they will

Pard. Drive him hence, therefore, in the twenty-devil way ! [and cart]

Friar. Hardly they would go both to plough

Pard. On us pardoners hardly do your cost [smart]

Friar. And if of necessity once they felt the

Pard. For why, your money never can be lost

Friar. But we friars be not in like estate

Pard. For why, there is in our fraternity

Friar. For our hands with such things we may not maculate [there of be]

Pard. For all brethren and sistren that

Friar. We friars be not in like condition

Pard. Devoutly song every year

Friar. We may have no prebends ne exhibition [there]

Pard. As he shall know well that cometh

Friar. Of all temporal service are we forbode

Pard. At every of the five solemn feasts

Friar. And only bound to the service of God [good rest]

Pard. A mass and dirge to pray for the

Friar. And therewith to pray for every Christian nation [sistren all]

Pard. Of the souls of the brethren and

Friar. That God witsafe to save them fro damnation

Pard. Of our fraternity in general

Friar. But some of you so hard be of heart [arrayed and dight]

Pard. With a hearse there standing well

Friar. Ye cannot weep, though ye full sore smart [ nm g" bright]

Pard. And torches and tapers about it bren-

Friar. Wherefore some man must ye hire needs [ringing]

Pard. And with the bells eke solemnly

Friar. Which must intreat God for your misdeeds [ing]

Pard. And priests and clerks devoutly sing-

Friar. Ye can hire no better, in mine opinion [year]

Pard. And furthermore, every night in the

Friar. Than us God's servants, men of religion [there]

Pard. Twelve poor people are received

Friar. And specially God heareth us poor friars [food]

Pard. And there have both harborovv and

Friar. And is attentive unto our desires

Pard. That for them is convenient and good [heard of our Lord]

Friar. For the more of religion the more

Pard. And furthermore, if there be any other [doth accord]

Friar. And that it so should, good reason

Pard. That of our fraternity be sister or brother [even he]

Friar. Therefore, doubt not, masters, I am

Pard. Which hereafter happen to fall in decay [charity]

Friar. To whom ye should part with your

Pard. And if ye then chance to come that way [alms take]

Friar. We friars be they that should your

Pard. Nigh unto our foresaid holy place

Friar. Which for your soul's health do both watch and wake [space]

Pard. Ye shall there tarry for a month's

Friar. We friars pray, God wot, when ye do sleep [cost]

Pard. And be there found of the place's

Friar. We for your sins do both sob and weep

Pard. Wherefore now, in the name of the Holy Ghost

Friar. To pray to God for mercy and for grace

Pard. I advise you all, that now here be

Friar. And thus do we daily with all our whole place

Pard. For to be of our fraternity

Friar. Wherefore distribute of your temporal wealth [penny :

Pard. Fie on covetise ! stick not for a

Friar. By which ye may preserve your souls' health [many

Pard. For which ye may have benefits so

Friar. I say, wilt thou not yet stint thy clap?

Pull me down the Pardoner with an evil hap !

Pard. Master Friar, I hold it best

To keep your tongue, while ye be in rest

Friar. I say, one pull the knave off his stool ! [fool !]

Pard. Nay, one pull the friar down like a

Friar. Leave thy railing and babbling of friars,

Or, by Jis, I'sh lug thee by the sweet ears !

Pard. By God, I would thou durst presume to it ! [to do it]

Friar. By God, a little thing might make me

Pard. And I shrew thy heart, and thou spare [thou slouch ;]

Friar. By God, I will not miss thee much,

And if thou play me such another touch,

I'sh knock thee on the costard, I would thou it knew [Hew."]

Pard. " Marry that I would see, quod blind

Friar. Well, I will begin, and then let me see,

Whether thou darest again interrupt me,

And what thou would once to it say

Pard. Begin and prove, whether I will, yea or nay

Friar. And to go forth, whereas I left right now

Pard. Because some percase will think amiss of me [way how]

Friar. Our Lord in the gospel showeth the

Pard. Ye shall now hear the Pope's authority, [no lenger]

Friar. By Gog's soul, knave, I suffer thee

Pard. I say some good body lend me his hanger,

And I shall him teach by God Almighty,

How he shall another time learn for to fight !

I shall make that bald crown of his to look red ;

I shall leave him but one ear on his head !

Friar. But I shall leave thee never an ear, ere I go :

Pard. Yea, whoreson friar, wilt thou soe

[Then they fight.]

Friar. Loose thy hands away from mine ears [my hairs :]

Pard. Then take thou thy hands away from

Nay, abide, thou whoreson, I am not down yet ;

I trust first to lay thee at my feet. [bite ?]

Friar. Yea, whoreson, wilt thou scrat and

Pard. Yea, marry, will I, as long as thou dost smite

[Enter the Curate.]

Parson (or Curate). Hold your hands, a

vengeance on ye both two,

That ever ye came hither to make this a-do !

To pollute my church, a mischief on you light !

I swear to you, by God Almight,

Ye shall both repent, every vein of your heart,

As sore as ye did ever thing, ere ye depart.

Friar. Master Parson, I marvel ye will give

this false knave in this audience [licence

To publish his ragman-rolls with lies.

I desired him, i-wis, more than once or twice

To hold his peace, till that I had done;

But he would hear no more than the man in the

moon [thou me?]

Pard. Why should I suffer thee more than

Master Parson gave me licence before thee ;

And I would thou knowest it, I have relics here

Other manner stuff than thou dost bear.

I will edify more with the sight of it,

Than will all the prating of holy writ ;

For that except that the preacher himself live

His predication will help never a dell, [well,

And I know well that thy living is nought :

Thou art an apostate, if it were well sought.

An homicide thou art, I know well enough,

For myself knew where that thou slough

A wench with thy dagger in a couch :

And yet, as thou say'st in thy sermon, that no

man shall touch. [church !]

Parson. No more of this wrangling in my

I shrew your hearts both for this lurch :

Is there any blood shed here between these

Thanked be God they had no staves [knaves ?]

Nor edge-tools ; for then it had been wrong.

Well, ye shall sing another song !

Neighbour Prat, come hither, I you pray

Prat. Why, what is this nice fray?

Parson. I cannot tell you; one knave disdains another; [the other.]

Wherefore take ye the one, and I shall take

We shall bestow them there as is most convenient ;

For such a couple, I trow, they shall repent

That ever they met in this church here.

Neighbour, ye be constable; stand ye near,

Take ye that lay knave, and let me alone

With this gentleman; by God and by Saint

John,

I shall borrow upon priesthood somewhat;

For I may say to thee, neighbour Prat,

It is a good deed to punish such, to the en-sample

Of such other, how that they shall mell

In like fashion, as these caitiffs do. [do so,]

Prat. In good faith, Master Parson, if ye

Ye do but well to teach them to beware.

Pard. Master Prat, I pray ye me to spare ;

For I am sorry for that that is done ;

Wherefore I pray ye forgive me soon,

For that I have offended within your liberty ;

And by my troth, sir, ye may trust me

I will never come hither more,

While I live, and God before.

Prat. Nay, I am once charged with thee,

Wherefore, by Saint John, thou shalt not

escape me,

Till thou hast scoured a pair of stocks.

Parson. Tut, he weeneth all is but mocks !

Lay hand on him ; and come ye on, sir friar,

Ye shall of me hardly have your hire ;

Ye had none such this seven year,

I swear by God and by our lady dear.

Pard. Nay, Master Parson, for God's

Intreat not me after that fashion ; [passion,

For, if ye do, it will not be for your honesty.

Parson. Honesty or not, but thou shall see,

What I shall do by and by :

Make no struggling, come forth soberly :

For it shall not avail thee, I say. [straightway.

Friar. Marry, that shall we try even

I defy thee, churl priest, and there be no more

than thou.

I will not go with thee, I make God a vow.

We shall see first which is the stronger :

God hath sent me bones ; I do thee not fear.

Parson. Yea, by thy faith, wilt thou be there?

Neighbour Prat, bring forth that knave,

And thou, sir friar, if thou wilt algates rave.

Friar. Nay, churl, I thee defy !

I shall trouble thee first ;

Thou shalt go to prison by and by ;

Let me see, now do thy worst !

[Prat with the Pardoner and the Parson with the Friar. [bour Prat,]

Parson. Help, help, neighbour Prat, neigh-

In the worship of God, help me somewhat !

Prat. Nay, deal as thou canst with that elf,

For why I have enough to do myself.

Alas ! for pain I am almost dead ;

The red blood so runneth down about my head.

Nay, and thou canst, I pray thee help me.

Parson. Nay, by the mass, fellow, it will

not be ; [spin ;]

I have more tow on my distaff than I can well

The cursed Friar doth the upper hand win.

Friar. Will ye leave then, and let us in

peace depart? [with all our heart.]

Parson and Prat. Yea, by our lady, even

Friar and Pard. Then adieu to the devil, till we come again.

Parson and Prat. And a mischief go with you both twain !