Lord Morelove, Mr. Powel.
Lord Foppington, Mr. Gibber.
Sir. Charles Eafy. Mr. Wilks.
Lady Betty Modish Mrs. Oldfeld.
Lady Eafy, Mrs. Knight,
Lady Grayeairs, Mrs. Moore.
Mrs. Edging,
The SCENE Windfor.
**Editor's Note: This is a facsimile reprint of a rare, antiquarian book. It therefore contains original characters, spellings, and printing imperfections. **
SCENE, Sir Charles Eafy s Lodgings. Enter Lady Eafy alone*
La. Ea. 'WAS ever Woman's Spirit, ,by an injurious Huf- band, broke like mine? A vile, licentjpus Man! muft he bring home his Follies too> Wrong me with my very Servant ! O / how Tedious a Relief is Patience! and yet in my Condition 'tis the only Remedy: For to reproach him with my Wrongs is taking on my fclf the Means of a Redrefs, bidding Defiance to his Falfhood, and naturally but provokes him to undo me. Th 5 uneafie Thought of my continual Jealoufie may teize him to a fixt Averfion $ and hitherto,
tho' he negleds, I cannot think he hates me. It muft be fo,
since I want Power to pleafe him, he never mail upbraid me with
an Attempt of making him uneafie. My Eyes and Tongue (hall
yet be blind and filent to my Wrongs 5 nor would I have him think my Virtue cou'd fufpecl: him, 'till by fome Grofs, Apparent Proof of his Mifdoing he forces me to fee, - and to forgive it. Enter Edging hajtify.
Edg. O Madam!
La. Ea. What's the Matter >
Edg. I have the ftrangeft thing to mew your Ladilhip fuch
a Difcovery
La. Ea. YOU are refolv'd to make it without much Ceremony, I find $ What's the Bufmefs, pray >
J5V/. The Bufinefs, Madam! I have not Patience to tell you, I am out of Breath at the very Thoughts on't, I mall 'hot be able l<> fpeak this half Hour.
La. Ea. Not to the Purpofe> I believe, . but methinks you talk impertinently with a great deal offiafei B
2 The Carelefs Husband.
Ed?. Nay, Madam, perhaps not fo impertinent as your Lady- fhip thinks * there's that will fpeak to the purpofe, lamfure -
A Bafe Man --- L G *
La.fi*. What's this, an open Letter ? whence comes it > Edg. Nay, read it, Madam, you'll foori guefs - If thefe are the Tricks of Husbands, keep me a Maid fell, fay I.
La,>. [_ Looking on the Super fcriptwn.] To Sii Charles Eajy! Ha ! Too well 1 know this hateful Hand O my Heart/ But f muft veil my Jealoufie, which 'tis not fit this Creature fhould fup- pofe I am acquainted with. _Afide.\ - This Direction is to your Mailer, how came you by it?
</g. Why, Madam, as my Mailer was lying down, after he came in from Hunting, he fent me into his Drafting Room to fetch his Snuff-Box out of his Waftcoat-Pocket, and fo, as I was fearch- ing for the Box, Madam, there I found this wicked Letter from a Miftrefs } which I had no'fooner read, but, I declare it, my very Blood rofe at him again, methought 1 cou'd have tore him and her to pieces.
La. Ea. Intollerable ! This odious Thing s jealous of him her felf,
and wants me to join with her in a Revenge upon him -- Sure I
am fallen indeed/ But 'twere to make me lower yet, to let her think
I,underftand her. . [Afafe.
Edg. Nay, pray, Madam, read it, you'll be out of Patience at it
La. Ea. You are bold, Miftrefs, has my Indulgence, or your
Mailer's good Humour, flatter'd you into the AiTurance of reading
his Letters > A liberty I never gave my felf. - Here - lay it
where you had it immediately -ihou'd he know of your Sauci-
nefs, .'twou'd not be my Favour cou'd pro'teft you. [_ Ex. L. Eafy.
Edg. Your Favour/ Marry come up/ Sure I don't defend dpon
your Favour ! ------ 'tis not come to that I hope Poor Creature
don't you think I am my Mailers Miftrefs for nothing - you mall find, Madam, I won't be fnapt up as I have been ------ Nor but it
vexes me to think {he fhou'd not be as unea(ie as. I ''1 am fare-he's a feafe Mitnto me, and 1 could cry my Eyes out that fee' mould not think him as bad to her every Jot. If I am wrong'd lure-- ihe may very well er ed it, that is but his Wife - A conceited Thing . fhe need not be To Eaiie neither - - 1 am as handfome as fhe, I hope. - Here's my Matter, - - I'll try whether Tarn to be huff d by her, or no, [ Walks behind,
Enter Sir Charles Eafy. Sir Cha. So/ the Day is come again ---- Life but rifts to another
S ;^e 3 and the fame dull Journey is before us +**- How like Children
The Cafelefs Husband* ^
jdo .we judge of Happinefs ! When I was ftinted in my Ear tune, al- moft every thing was a Pleafure to me, becaufe moft things then being out of my Reach, I had always thePleafure of hoping for 'em 5 now.Fortunes in my Handfhe's as infipidas an old Acquaintance . Its mighty (illy, Faith Juft the fame thing by my Wife too;
I am told me's extreamly Handfom nay, and have heard a great
many People fay (he is certainly the Bed Woman in the World why I don't know but me may, yet I could never find that her Per-
fon, or good Qualities, gave me any Concern In my Eye the
Woman has no more Charms than my Mother.
Edg. Humh! he takes no Notice of me yet -111 let him
fee, 1 can take as little Notice of him.
She walks by him gravely ', he turns her Pray Sir. about and holds her ^ foe ftruggles.
Sir Cba. A pretty pert Air that I'll humour if- What's
the Matter, Child > .Are not you well? Kifs me, Huffy.
Edg. No, the Duce fetch me, if I do.
Sir Cba. Has any thing put thee out of Humour, Love? f
Edg. No, . Sir, 'tis not worth my being out of Humour at .
tho' if ever you have any thing to do with me again III be Burn'd
Sir Cba. Somebody has bely'd me to thee.
Edg. No, Sir, 'tis you have bely'd your feif tome did not
"I ask you, when you firft made! a Fool of me, if you would be al- , ways conftant to me, and did not you fay I might be fure you wou'd ? And here, inftead of that, you are going on in your old Intrigue with my Lady Graveairs.
Sir Cba. So. -~ -
Edg. Befide, don't you fufFer my Lady to Huff me every Day, as if I were her Dog, or had no more Concern with .you - - I
declare I wont bear it, and (heihant think to huff me for ought
J know I am as Agreeable as me^ and tho' me dares not take any No- tice of your Bafenefs to Her, you (han't think to ufe Me fo, and
fo pray take your nafty Letter I know the Hand well enough,
~ for my part I won't -flay in the Family to be abus'd-at this rate 5 I that have refus'd Lords and Dukes for your fake: I'd., have you to know, Sir, I have had as many Blue and Green Ribbonds after me, for ought I know, as would have made me a Falbala Apron.
Sir Cba. My Lady Graveairs \ my nafty Letter ! and I won't flay
in the Family ! - - Death/ I'm in a pretty Condition What an
unlimited Privilege has this Jade gqt from being a Whore.
Edg. I fuppofe, Sir, you think to ufe everybody as you do your Wife.
R o. Sir fit*
4 The Garelefs HusUnd.
SirCha. My Wife, hah! Come hither, MrsJW^tokyw, Drab:
Edf Oh! [Seizing far by the Shoulder.
Sir %*. When you fpeak of my Wife, you are to fay your Lady, and you are never to fpeak of your Lady to me in any regard of her
being my Wife for look you, Child, you are not her Strumpet
but Mine, therefore \ only give you leave to befaucy with Me 5 - in the next place you are never to fuppofe there is any iuch Ferion as my Lady Graveairs^ and laftly, my pretty one, how came you by this Letter ? ' Edg. It's no matter, perhaps.
SirCfei, Ay, but if you fhou'd not tell me quickly, how are you
fure I won't take a great Piece of Fiefti out of your Shoulder?
My Dear. ^Shakes her.
Edg. O lad/ O hid/ I will tell you, Sir.
Sir Cba. Quickly then. [ Agmn.
Edg. Oh/ I took it out of your Pocket, Sir.
Sir Cba. When?
JBdg. Oh! this Morning, when you fent me for your Snuff-box.
SIT Cba. And your Ladyfhip's pretty Curiofity haslook'dit over, I prefume ha - [Jgai*.
Edg. O lud/ dear Sir, don't be angry indeed I'll never touch one again.
Sir Cba. I don't believe you will, and I'll tell you how you mail be fure you never will.
Jg. Yes, Sir.
Sir Cba. By ftedfaftly believing, that the next time you offer it, you will have your pretty white Neck twifted behind you.
Edg. Yes, Sir. _Cwrtejmg.
SIT Cba. And you will be fure to remember every thing I have faid to you?
Edg. Yes, Sir.
Sir Cba. And now, Child, I was not angry with your Perfon,
but your Follies 5 which fince I find you are a little fenfible of
don't be wholly difcourag'd for I believe I 1 {hall have
Occafion for you again
Edg. Yes, Sir.
SirCfo*. In the mean time let me hear no more of your Lady, Child.
Edg. No, Sir.
SIT Cba. Here me comes, begone.
Edg. Yes, Sir Oh/ I was never fo frighten'd in my Life.
Sir Cba. So\ good Difcipline makes good Soldiers [Ev.Edg.
it often puzzles me to think/from my own Careleilhefs, and my
Wife's
The Car clefs Husband.
Wife's continual good Humour, whether me really knows any thing
of the ftrength of my Forces I'll fift her a- little.
Enter Lady Eafy.
My Dear how do you do > You are drefs'd very early to Day 5 are you going out?
La. Ea. Only t6 Church, my Dear. Sir Cha. Is it fo late then ? La. Ea. The Bell has juft Rung..
Sir Cba. Well, Child, how does Windfor Air agree with you? Do you find your felf any Better yet ? or have you a Mind to go to London again ?
La.Ea. No, indeed, my Dear ^ the Airs fo very pleafanr, that if it were a Place of lefs Company, I could be content to end- my Days here-
Sir Cba. Prithee, my Dear, what fort of Company would moff pleafe you?
La. Ea. When Bufinefs wou'd permit it, Yours 5 and in your Ab- fence a fincere Friend, that were truly happy in an honeft Husband, to. fit a chearful Hour, and talk in mutual rraife of our Condition.
Sir Cba. Are you then really very happy, my Dear ?
La. Ea. Why fhou'd you queftion it? ^Smiling on bim
Sir Cba. Becaufel fancy lam not fo good ta you as I mould be.
La. Ea. Pfliah/
Sir Cba. Nay, the Duce take me if I don't reaHy confefs my felf fo bad, that f have often wonder 'd how any Woman of your Senfe, Rank and Perfon, could think it worth he* while to have fo many ufelefs good Qualities.
La. Ea. Fie > my Dear..
Sir Cha. By my Soul I'm ferious.
La. Ea. I can't boaft of my good Qualities, nor if I could, do I believe you think 'em ufelefs. .
Sir Cba. Nay, I fubmit to you Don't you find 'em fo? Do-
you perceive that I am one Tittle the better Husband for your being fogooda Wife?
La. Ea. Pfhah ! you Jeft with me.
Sir G&^ I don't really : -I ell me truly^ was you never Jealous of me?
La. Ea. Did I ever give you any fign of it?
Sir Cba. Urn that's true but do you really- think I
never gave you Occaiion?
La. Ea. That's an odd Queftion - butfuppofe y^ou had?
'The GareJefs Husband.
Slr'Cba. Why then, what good has your Virtue done you, fmce all the good Qualities of it could not keep me to your felt? ;
La. Ea. What occafion have you given me to iuppofe I have not kept you to my felf ?
Sir Cba. I given you Occafion Fie! my Dear - you may be
f ure I I look you, that is not the thing, but ft ill a
(Death! what a Blunder have I made.) ~ a Hilly Ifay,\Ma.dam, you {han't make me believe you have never been Jealous of me,, not that you ever had any. real Caufe, but I know Women of your Prin- ciples have more Pride than thofe thatJiave no Principles at all ; and where there is Pride there muft be fome Jealdufie ~ fo that i you are Jealous, my Dear, you know you -wrong me, and
La. Ea. Why then upon my. Word, inyDear, I don't know that ever I wrong'd you that way in my Life."
Sir Cha. But fuppofe I had given you a real Caufe;tq be Jealous, how would you do then?
La. Ea. It muft be a very fubftantial one that makes me Jealous.
Sir Cba. Say it were a fubftantial one y "fuppofe now I were well with a Woman of your own Acquaintance, that under pretence of frequent Vifits to you, mould only come to carry on an Affair with me Suppofe now my Lady Graveairs and I were great
La. Ea. Wou'd I could not fuppofe it. Afide.
Sir Cha. If I come off here I believe I am pretty fafe _Afide,
Suppofe, I fay, my Lady and I were fo very familiar, that not only your felf, but half the Town ftiould fee it.
La. Ea. Then I mould cry my felf fick in fome dark Clofet, and forget my Tears when you fpoke kindly to me.
Sir Cba. The moft convenient piece of Virtue fure, that ever Wife was Miftrefs of. p /
La.*. But pray, my Dear, did you ever think that I had any 1 noughts of my Lady Graveairs ?
Sir Cba. OFie/ Child,
only you know {he and I us'd to be a littl
A . Duce ta ke me, if I would not as foon have
an Attair with thy own Woman.
lhouldas foon
La C F p P r^ ear T" . ftou ' dft th U
The Ca&lefs Husband* y~
La. Ea. I only wifh you'wdu'd think mea good Wife. [Kffisber. But pray, my Dear, what 'has made you foftrangely Inquifitive?
Sir Cba. Inquifitive Why a nay I don't know, one's always
faying one foolifh thing or another Toll le roll. [Sings and
talks."] My Dear, what/ are we never to have any Ball here? Toll le roll. I fancy I could recover my Dancing again, if I would but Praclife, Toll loll loll/
La. Ea. This Excefs of CareleiTnefs to meexcufes half his Vices,
if I can make him once think ferioufly Time yet may be my
Friend.
Enter a Servant.
Ser. Sir, my Lord Morelove gives his Service
Sir Cba. Lord Morelove! where is he?
Ser. At the Chocolate-Houfe , he call'd me to him as I went by, and bid me tell your Honour he'll wait upon you prefently.
Sir Cba. I thought fo too, but you fee there's no depending upon the Refolution of a Man that's in Love.
La. Ea. Is there a Chair ?
Ser. Yes, Madam. [_ Ex. Servant.
La. Ea. I fuppofe Lady Betty Modifh has drawn him hither.
Sir Cba. Ay, poor Soul, for all his Bravery, I am afraid fo.
La. Ea. Weil, my Dear, I han't rime to ask my Lord how he does now $ you'll excufe me to him, but I hope you'll make him Dine with us.
Sir Cba. Ill ask him 5 if you fee Lady Betty at Prayers make her Dine too, but don't take any notice of my Lord's being in Town.
La. Ea Very well / if I mould not meet her there I'll call at her Lodgings.
Sir Cba. Do fo. Q Re-enter tbe Servant.
La. Ea. My Dear, your Servant. [ Ex, La. Eafy.
Sir Cba. My Dear, I'm yours. Well! one way or other this Woman will certainly bring about her Bu (in efs with me at Jaft: For tho' me can't make me happy in her own Perfon, fhe lets me be fo intollerably eafie with the Women that can, that fhe has at leaft brought me into a fair way of being as weary of them too. Enter Servant and Lord Morelove.
Ser. Sir, my Lord's come.
Sir Cba. My dear Lord! this is anHappinefs undreamt of 5 I little thought to have feen you at Windfor again this Seafon$ I concluded
of
8 The Carelefs Husband.
of Courfe that Books and Solitude had fecur'd you till Winter:
L Mo Nay I did not think of coming ray felf, but Ifound my fetf not very w'ell in London, fo I thought a l.ttle Hunt- ing, and this Air - -
lirCfc* Ha/ ha/ ha! ;
T Mo What do you laugh it*
Sir Cha Only becaufe you mould not go on with your Story: If -you did but fee tow frllily a Man fumbles for anExcufe, when he s a Tittle afham'dof being in Love, you would not wonder what I laugh
" L h i h Thou art a very happy Fellow.- nothing touches thee - always Eafie -- Then you conclude I follow Lad+Bnp again >
Sit Cha. Yes, Faith do I, and to make you eafie, my Lord, I cannot fee xvhy a Man that can ride Fifty Miles ahei a poor Stag, fliould be amanvd of running Twenty in Chafe of a fine Woman, that in all probability, will make him fo much the better Sport
[_ Embracing.
L Mo Dear Charles don't flatter my Diftemper, I own I ftill follow her: Do you think her Charms have power to excufe me to
the World?
Sir Cha. Ay/ ay/ a fine Woman's an Excufe for any thing.
'.<L Mo You take a great deal of Pains to give me Hope, but I can't believe foe has thelcaft degree of Inclination for me.
'Sir Cha. I don't know that r lam fure her Pride likes yau, and that's generally your fine Lady's Darling Pafhon.
Sir Cha. Sting her to the Heart - Will you take my Advice > .k. Mo. I have no Relief but that, had I not thee now and then to talk an Hour, my Life were infupportable.
Sir Cha. I am forry for that, my Lord - but mind what I fay to y ou - But hold, firft letmeknow the Particulars of your Quar- rel wkh her.
Sir Cha. Who was that other }
open,
The Carelefs Husband. 9
open, no Gloves, one Eye tuck'd under his Hat, and a Tooth- pick Startup ! That's his Name.
Sir Cha. O! I have met him in a Vlilt -but pray go oa,
bow'd very low, and as I left the Room, vow'd I never
wou'd, and that that my proud Heart mould never be humbl'd by the
Outfide of a fine Woman About an Hour after I whip'd into
my Chafe for London, and have never feen her finCe.
Sir Cbn. Very well, and how did you find your proud Heart by that time you got to Hovnflov?
Sir Cha. Ha / ha ! well I'll tell you what you (hall do. You can fee her without trembling, I hope,
Sir Cba. If fhe receives you, well you will have no occafion, for what I am going to fay to you ' Firft you fhall Dine with her.
Sir Cha, Here / here/ at Two a Clod.
"L.Mo. Dear Charles!
Sir Cha. ,My Wife's gone to invite her 5 when you fee her firft, be neither too Humble, nor too Stubborn, Jet her fee, by the eafe in your Behaviour, you are flili pleas'd in being near her, while fhe is upon reafcnable Terms with You. This will either open the Door
of a Ecdarcifement) or quite Ihut it againft you if fhe is ftill re-
folv'd to keep you out
Sir Cha. Why you improve, my Lord} /this is the very thing I was going to propofe to you.
C Sir
i o The Carelefs Husband.
' Sir Cba. Dare I / Ay, to my laft drop of AfTurance, againft all the infolent Aires of the proudeft Beauty in CMfiendom.
L.Mo. Nay, then Defiance to her We Two^ Thou haft in-
fpir'd me, I find my felf as Valiant as a flatter'd Coward.
Sir Cba. Courage, my Lord Til warrant we beat her.-
L.Mo. My Blood ftirs at the very thought on't:, Ilongtobeengag'd.
Sir Cba. She'll certainly give Ground, when (he once fees you are thoroughly provok'd.
L Mo. Dear Charles, thou art a Friend indeed. Enter a Servant.
'Sere. Sir, my Lord Foppington gives his Service, and if your Ho- nour's at leifure he'll wait on "you as foon as he's drefs'd,
Sir Cba. Yes I heard laft Night he was come. Give my Ser- vice to his Lordfhip, and tell him I fhall be glad hell do me the Ho- iiour of his Company here at Dinner. [Ex. Ser.^ We may have oc- cafion for him in our defign upon Lady Betty.
Sir Cba. We'll fee when he comes, at leaft there's no Danger in him, not but I fuppofe you know he's your Rival,
Sir Cba. Nay, don't defpife him neither He's able to give you
Advice , for tho' he's in Love with the fame Woman, yet to him Ihe has not Charms enough to give aMinuits Pain.
JL.Mo. Prithee/ what Senfe has he of Love>
Sir Cba. Faith very near as much as a Man of Senfe ought to have ^ I grant you he knows not how to value a Woman, trufy deferring, but he has a pretty juft Efteem for moft Ladies about Town.
of Extraordinary Reputation*
Sir Cba. Have a care, I have feer him at Lady Betty Modijtis.
Sir Cba. Don't be too- condent of that, the Women now begin to laugh With him, not At him: For he really fometirnes rallies his own Humour with fo much Eafe and Pleafantry, that a great many Women begin to think he has- no Follies at all, and thofe he has, have been as much owing to his Youth, and a great Eftate, as want of natural Wit : 'Tis true, he's often a Bubble to his Pleasures, but he has always been wifely vain enough to keep himfelf from being too much the Ladies Humble Servant in Love*
Sir Cba. The Eafinefs of his Opinion upon the Sex will' go near to pique you We rnuft have him. L.
The Car clefs Husband. 1 i
Sir Cha. What think you of a party at Pijequet ^
Sir Cha. Fie 1 fie / what when you play with his Grace.
L, Mo. Upon my Soul, he gives me Three Points.
Sir Cha. Does he t Why then you fhall give me but Two Hear, Fellow, get Cards. Attons ! Exeunt,
The Scene Lady Betty Modifli'j Lodgings.
Enter Lady Betty, and Lady Eafy, meeting. La. Bet. f~& ! my Dear / I am overjoy 'd to fee you / I am ftrange
^J ly Happy to Day ^ I have juft receiv'd my New Scad from London, and you aremoft Critically come to give me your Opt nion of it.
La. Ea. O / your fervant, Madam, I am a very indifferent Judge, you know : What is it with .Skeves >
La. Bet. O ! 'tis impoflible to tell you what it is ! Tis all Ex- travagance both in Mode and Fancy ^ my Dear, I believe there's Six Thoufand Yards of Edging in it -Then fuch an Enchanting Slope from the Elbow fomething foNew, fp Lively, fo Noble, fo Co- quet and Charming - but you mail fee it my Dear
La. Ea. Indeed I won't, my Dear 3 1 am refolv'd to mortine you for being fo wrongly fond of a Trifle,
La.lfcr.' Nay now, my Dear, you are Ill-natur'd.
La. Ea. Why truly, I'm half angry to fee a Woman of your Senfe, fo warmly concern'd in the Care of her Outfide 5 for when we have taken our beft Pains about it,- 'tis the Beauty of the Mind alone that gives us lading Value.
La. Bet. Ah/ my Dear, my Dear / you have been a married Wo- man to a fine Purpofe indeed, that know fo little of the Tafte of Mankind : Take my Word, a new Fafhions upon a fine Woman is of ten a greater Proof of her Value, than you are aware of.
La. Ea. That I can't comprehend, for you fee among the Men no- thing's more ridiculous than a new Fafhion, thofe of the firft Senfe are always the iaft that come into em.
La. Bet. That is, becaufe the only Merit of a Man is his Se.. but doubtlefs the greateft Value of a Woman is her Beauty; ar homely Woman at the Head of a Fafhion would not be alipvv'd in it
C 2
The Garelefs Husband.
bv the Men and confequently not follow'd by the Women : So that to be fucccfsfal In ones Fancy is an evident fign of ones being admir'd r and I always take Admiration for the beft Proof of Beauty, and Beauty certainly is the Source of Power,, as Power in all Creatures is theHeighthofHappincfs. La. Ea. At this rate you wou d rather be thought Beautiful thaxr
La.'lte. As I had rather Command, than Obey : The wifert home- ly Woman can't make a Man of Senfe of a Fool, butthe veriefiFool of a Beauty fhall make an Afs of a Statefman y fo that imflibrt I -can't fee a Woman of Spirit has any Bulinefs iu this World, but to <jrefs -and make the Men like her.
La. Ea. Do you fuppofe this is a Principle the Men of Senfc will admire you for?
La.B. I do fuppofe, that when I fufrer any Man to like ray Per* fbn he fha'nt dare to find Fault with my Principle.
La. Ea. But Men of Senfe are not fo eafily humbled
La.&?. The eafieft of any^ one has Ten Thoufand times the- Trouble with a Coxcomb.
La. Ea. Nay, that may be^ for I have feen you throw awajr more good Humour in hopes of a Tendrejje from* my Lord Fop- p'mgton y who loves all Women alike, than wou'd hsveraade my Lord Morelove pefedly happy, who loves only you.
La. Bet. The Men of Senle, my Dear, make the beft Fools in the World, their Sincerit^and good Breeding throws 'em fo intircly into ones Power, and gives one~ftrch an agreeable Thirft of ufing 'em ill, to (hew that Power 'tis impoffible not to quench it.
La.*. But methinks my Lord M&reloves Manner to You might move any Woman to a kinder fence of his Merit.
La. Bet. Ay ! but wou'd it not be hard, my Dear, for a poor weak Woman to have a Man of his Quality and Reputation in her Power r and not let the World fee him there? Wou-'d any Creature fit New drefs'd allDay in her Clofet? Cou'd you bear to have a fweet-&ncy'd Suit, and never fhew it at the Play or the Drawing-Room ?
La. Ea. But one wou'd not ride in't, methinks, or harafs it out, when theres no occafion,
La. Bet. Pooh ! my Lord Moreloves a meer Indian Damask, one can't wear him out> o' my Confcknce I muft give him to my Wo- man at laft, I begin to be known by him: Had not 1 beft leave him. off, my Dear? for (poor Soul) I believe 1 have a little fretted him of late.
La. Ea. Now 'tis to me Amazing, how a Man of his Spirit can
te;,*r to be us'd like a Dog for Four gr Five Years together but
;. no-
The Gamefs Hus&and. 13
nothing's a Wonder in Love 5 yet pray, when you foun<j you cou'd. not like him at firft, why did you ever encourage him?
La. Bet. Why, what wou'd you have one do? for my part I cou'd no more chufe a Man by my Eye than a Shoe, one muft draw^cm on a little to fee if they are right to ones Foor.
La. Ea. But I'd no more fool on with a Man I cou'd hot like, than I'd wear a Shooe that pinch'd me.
La.jZter. Ay but then a poor Wretch tells one hell widen 'em, or do any thing, and is fo civil and filly, that one does not. know how" to turn fucha Trifle,, as a pair of Shooed, or an Heart, ;upon a Fel- low's Hands again.
La, Ea, Well/ I confefeyou are very happily diftinguifh'd among moft Women of Fortune, . to -have a Man of my Lord More loves Senfe and Quality fo long and Honourably in love with you : For- nowja .* Days one hardly ever hears of fuch a Thing as a Man of Quality in . love with the Woman he wou'd Marry : To be in Love now is only having a Defign upon a Woman, a modifh way of declaring War a- gainft her Virtue, which they generally attack fidt, by Toafting . up her Vanity.
La. Bet. Ay, but the World knows<that is not ths Cafe between * my Lord and me.
La. Ea. Therefore I think you happy.
La. Bet. Now I don't fee it, I'll fwear I'm better pleas'd to know there .are a great many foolifh Fellows of Quality that take occafion -. to toaft me frequently.
La. Ea.~ I vow I fhou'd not thank' any Gentleman for toafting me s and I have often wonder'd hw a Woman of your Spirit cou'd bear a great many other Freedoms I have feen fome Men take with you.
La. Bet. Ashow, my -Dear come, prithee be Free with me,
for you rnuft know I love dearly to hear- my Faults Who is J t j
you have obferv'd to be too free with me?
La. Ea. Why, there's my Lord Fopplngfon: Cou'd any Woman but You bear to fee him with a refpeftful fleer ftare full in her -Face, . draw up his Breath, and. cry - - Gad, you're handfom,,
things, they ao it no Harm: For,, if you obferve, People are always moft apt to chufe that that the Flies have been buiie with, ha I ha/
La. Ea. Thou art a flrange giddy Creature,
La. Ea. But mv Lord Foppingtoris Married,* and one wou'd not-- fool with him for nis Lady's fake 5 it may make her uneafie^ and^ -
La, Set, Poor Creature, her Prid indeed makes her wry h
T4 Y Cirthfs
-:e, tho' I know (he hates me in nnliciov.- lo I usd to
re herDiforder 5 it you had but
: he Creature look dioLglr.
Bu: I iV.ov.'d n >n &&. mv Lord
f his Amours,- but feldem (peaks
Li. 5V? . Pv ' :: lavs make a \onKmlefc
:5:\ ones Complexion, or put
.: ration look you, my Dear, take
vrer Rank or People, no \ oman ;i Beauty that ; io amongft People of Fortui.
rnie that his Beauty: But an Eilate and Beauty
join : imitei nay a Power Pontifica I, makes one not
:, but Infallible A fine Woman's never in the
F we were, 'tis not the ftrength of a poor Creatures
-fetter him O / how 1 love to hear a Wretch
curfe himfelf for laving on, or now and then coming out with a " Yet, for the Phgue of Human Race, " This Devil -has an Angels Face. La. Ea. At this rate, I don't fee you allow Reputation to be at all
::al to i Fine Woman.
La. Bet. Juflas much as Honour ta a great Man: Power always is above 'Scandal: Don't you hear People fay, the King of France owes mod of his Conquefb to Breaking his Word > and wou'd not the Confederates have a fine time on't, if they were only to go to with Reproaches? Indeed, my Dear, that* Jewel Reputation is but a very fanciful Bufinefs 5 One mall not fee an Homely Creature in Town but wears it in 'her Mouth, as monftroufly as the Indians do Bobs at theirUps, and it really becomes 'em juft alike.
La. EJ. Have a care, my Dear, ofbeing too eagerly fond of Power:
For nothing is more ridiculous than the fell of Pride;, and Woman's
c at-beil may be fufpeded to be more a Diftrait, than a Real
Con: Mankind: "for when we have faid all we can, a Defer-
Husband is certainly cur bed happinefs , and I doa : t queftion
Mnvfeiv'sMerit, in a little time, will make you think
fo to} for whatever Airs you give your felf to the World, I am
fure your Heart don't want good Nature.
. R*:. You are miftaken, I am very ill-natur'd, tho' your good Humour won't let you fee it.
La. /. Then, to give me a Proof on t, let me fee you rcfufe to go immediately and Dine with roe, after I have prorais'd SIT Charles
La. Bet.
The Car clefs Husband. 15
La. Bet. Pray don't ask me.
La 7. \V.
La. *?. Ee: a _fe, to let you fee I hate good Nature, Fii go witheot
riin?, that you may n't have the Malice to fay I did yon 2
Ef, Thouartar ure. [Exaai.
.SCENE change: to Sir Ch*: . : -J
Morekne and Sir Charles a: Picquet.
Sir Lord, one (Ingle Game for the Tom, and K
= done.
dulleft Company in the World How- much is it?
Sir Cba. T/ ':es.
Q 7P7r7^r L. Mo. c VUTKS evt kis M&*y * S- ::r Charks &
L*. .b fa re ads to
SirCba. Q To the Smtnt. ~] Give my Sen*ice," lav I have Com- .T Dines with me, if I have time Til call there ic the Aftemoan
. ha! ha/ ha/ [r.Scrt-..
Sir Ccx. The Old Affeir my Lady Graveair;.
Sir -greeabk : : : For now itscome to Ac
intollerable Plague of my not being able to get ridon't ^ as you maj fee -^ [ Gru'mg tbt Letter. ]
4< priz'd, or angry : I would let me fee ywi
" at my Lodgiugs kmnediatelv, where I fhall have a b. " Opportunity to- fa-: i rver can, or Pot;
" will be, a- beeo. V:
A very Whimfical Letter/ Faith, I think ifce has hard luck wkfc you 5 if a Man were oblig'd to ha-,--. her Pa-fon and
Condition feern to be cut out for the Eafe of a Lover: : a.
Young, Handfome, Wild, Weil-jointed Widow Biat wli:
your Qwrc.
Sir Coa. Nothing fhe ice? the Cooln ; finj
fide^ and her Bufinefs with mencrv, liuppbfe, is to convince me, how Heartily ihes vex'd, that ihe was net bcfoie Hand with, fee.
LA
{6 The Carelefs Husband.
La, Mb. Her Pride, and your Indifference muft occafion a fant Scene fure 5 what do you intend to do>
SirOw. Treat her wih a cool familiar Air, till I pique her to forb .me her fight, and then take her at her Word.
Ser. Sir, my Lord Fffffigdrf* come - [Exit.
Sir Cfez.Dnow, my Lord, if you have a Mind to be let into the Myftrey of making Love without Pain, here's one that's a Matter of the Art, and fhalj declaim to you - My Dear.
Enter Lord Foppington. Lord Foppington
Cent Anns, que Je ne Tay veu my Lord, I am yovx Lordftup S
mod Obedient Humble Servaat.
here fome time , you feem to have laid in Stock of Health to be in at the Diverfions, of die Place You look extreamly well.
Sir Cba. Lovers in Hope, my. Lord, always have a vifible BriHant in their Eyes and Air.
Sir Cba. Come, come, my Lord, confefs what really brought you to Windfor, now you have no bufinefs here.
Kept indeed 1 love to have Creatures go as I bid 'em : You have
feen 'em, Charles, but fo has all the World Foppingtoris Long- Tails are known in every Road in England.
Sir Cba. Well,my Lord, but how came they to bring you this Road? 'You don't ufe to take thefe Irregular Jaunts without iome Defign in in your Head of having more than Nothing to do.
Sir Cba. Nay, nay, wemufthaveit come, come, your Real
Sufmefshere?
to
Tlie Carelefs Husband, tj
to play off with her at Picq.uet, and now the bufinefs is out.
Sir Cha. Ah/ and a very good Bufinefs too, my Lord.
"Sir Cha. That's as you Manage your Cards, my Lord.
Sir Cba. Plhah / Nothing's above the Price of a Fine Woman.
L, Mo. How fo, my Lord.
Fop. Becaufe, it me happens to lofe a Good Sum to Me I mall Buy her with her own Mony.
Mo. That's New, I confefs.
Fop f You know, Charles, 'tis not impoffible but I may be Five Hundred Pound -deep with her, then Bills may fall Ifiort, and the De- vil's in't if I want Aflurance to ask her to Pay me fome way or other.
Sir Cha. And a Man muft be a Churl indeed that won't take a Lady's Perfonal Security \ hah ! hah / hah !
Fop. Heh! hehl heh! thou art a Devil, Charles.
Mo. Death / how happy is this Coxcomb? \jifide.
Fop. But to tell you the Truth, Gentlemen, I had another prefling Temptation, that brought me hither, which was my Wife.
Mo. That's kind indeed, my Lady has been here this Fortnight, ihell be glad to fee you.
L,.Fop. That I don't know 3 for Idefign this Afternoon to fend her to London.
Mo. What ! the fame Day you come, my Lord $ That wou'd be Cruel.
Fop. Ay, but it will be mighty Convenient, for me is pofitively of no manner of Ufe in my Amours.
Mo. That's your Fault, the Town thinks her a very Deferving Woman.
Fop. If {he were a Woman of the Town, perhaps I fhou'd think' fo too: But me happens to be my Wife, and when a Wife,is once given to deferve more than her Husband can Pay, in *ny Mind /lie has no Merit at all.
Mo. She's extrearaly well bred, and of a very Prudent Conduft,
Fop. Urn ay, the Woman's Proud enough.
Mo. And to This, all the World allows her Handfom.
Fop. The World's very Civil, my Lord ^ and I fhould take it as a
Favour done to me, if they cou'd find an Expedient tounmarry the poor
, H D Wo-
jg The Carelefs Husband.
Wormnfromtheonly Man in the world that catft think her handfom.
L Foft. I am a great many in the Worlds very Humble Servant, and whenever they find 'tis in their Power their High and Mighty Wifdoms may command me at a Quarter of an hours Warning.
L.M*. Prav, my Lord, what did you marry for?
Fop. To pay my Debts at Play , and difmherit my younger Brother.
Mo. But there are fome Things due to a Wife.
Fof. And there are fome Debts I don't care to pay to both
w hich I plead Husband, and my Lord.
L.Mo. If I mou'd do fo, I fhou'd expeft to have my own Coach ftopt in the Street, and to meet my Wife with the Windows up in x Hackny.
Fof. Then wou'd I put in Bail, and order a ieparate Maintenance.
Afo. So pay double the Sum of the Debt,and be marri'd for nothing.
Fof. Now I think Deferring a Dun, and getting rid of ones Wife, are Two the moft Agreeable Sweets in the Liberties of aa English Subjeft.
Mo. If I were married- 1 wou'd as foon part from my Eftate, as my Wife.
Fop, Now I wou'd not, Sun-burn me if I wou'd.
Mo. Death/ my Lord, but iince you are thus indifferent, why wou'd you needs marry a Woman of fo much Merit? Cou'd not you have laid out your Spleen upon forae Ill-natur'd Shrew, that wanted the Plague of an 111 Husband, and have let Her alone to fome Plain, Honeft Man of Quality that wou'd have deferv'd her?
Fof. Why faith, my Lord, that might have been confider'd, but I really grew Paffionately Fond of her Fortune, that, Curfe catch me, I was quite blind to the reft of her Good Qualities : For to tell you the Truth, if it were poflible, the Old Putt of a Peer cou'd have tofs'd her into 't other Five Thoufand Pound, for 'em, by my" Confent, me fhou'd have relinquiiht her-Meiit and Virtues to any of her Younger Sifters.
Sir Cha. Ay, ay, my Lord, Virtues in a Wife are good for nothing- but to make her Proud, and put the World in Mind of her Hui- band's Faults.
1~Fof. Right, Charles: And (hike me Blind, but the Women of Virtue are now grown fuch Ideots in Love, They expeft of a Man, juft as they do of a Coach-Horfe, that one's Appetite, like t'o- ther s Flefh, fhou'd increafe by Feeding.
Sir Cba. Right, my Lord, and don't confidcr that Toutjours Chapons- Jfoiuffes will never do with an /r& Stomach.
The Carelefs Husband. 19
Fop. Ha! ha ! ha ! To tell you the Truth, Charles, I have known fo much of that fort of Eating, that I now think* for an hearty. Meal, no Wild-Fowl in Europe is comparable to a Joint of Banftead Mutton.
Mo. How do you mean ?
Fop. Why that for my Part, I had rather have a Plain Slice of my Wife's Woman, than my Guts full of e'er an Ortoilan Dutchefs in Chriftendom.
Mo. But I thought, my- Lord, your Bufinefs now at Windfor had been your Defign upon a Woman of Qyality.
Fop. That's true, my Lord, tho' I don't think your Fine Lady the Beit Dim my felf, yet a Man of Qyality can't be without fuch Things at his I able.
Mo. O / then you only deflre the Reputation of having an Affair with her ?
Fop. I think the Reputation is the moft Inviting Part of an A- mour with moft Women of Quality. L, MD. Why fo, my Lord?
Fop. Why who the Devil wou'd run thro' all the Degrees of Form and Ceremony, that lead one up to the laft Favour, if it were not for the Reputation of Underflanding the Neareft Way to get o- ver the Difficulty?
Mo. But, my Lord, (ince the World fees you make fo little of the Difficulty, does not the Reputation of your being too General an Un- dertaker frighten the woman from Engaging with you? for they fay no Man can love but One at a time.
Fop. That's juft One more than ever I came up to : For, flap my Breath, if ever I lov'd One in my life.
Mo. How do you get 'em then?
Fop. Why fometimes as they get other People, I drefs, and let them get me : Or, if that won't do, as I got my Title, I buy 'em.
l^.Mo. But how can you, that profefs Indifference, think it worth your while to come fo often up to the Price of a Woman of Qyality > 'L.Fop. Becaufe you muft know, my Lord, that moft of 'em begin now to come down to Reafon, I mean, thofe that are to be had, for fome die Fools: But with the Wifer fort, tis not of late fo very Expenfive? now and then a Part ic Quarrie, a Jaunt or two in an Hack to an /- dian Houfe, a little China, an Odd Thing for a Gown, or fo> and in Three Days after you meet her at the Conveniency of Trying it on Chez MadmoifeUe D' Epingle.
Sir Cba. Ay, ay, my Lord, and when you are there, you know, what between a little Chat, a Dim QtTz^Mademoifelles good Humour, and q Petit Canfon> or two ^ the Devil's in' t if a Man can't fool away
D 2 the
20 The Carekfs Husband.
theTime, 'till he fees how it looks upon her by Candle-light, ha / ha ! L fop. Hehl heh/ well faid, Charles, I'gad I fancy thee and I have unlac'd many a Reputation there Your Great Lady is as foon undreft as her Woman, ha/ ha/ ^
L M0. I cou'd never find it fo ^ the Shame, or Scandal of a Ke- pulfe always made me afraid of Attempting a Woman of Condition.
Sir OM. Ha! ha! I'gad, my Lord, you deferve to be ill usd, your Modefty's enough to Spoil any Woman in the World 5 but my Lord and I underftand the Sex a little better, we fee plainly that Women are only Cold, as fome Men are Brave, from the Modefty or Fear of thofe that attack 'em.
'L.Fop. Right, Charles, a Man fhou'd no more give up his Heart to a Woman, than his Sword to a Bully 5 They are Both as Infolent as the Devil after it.
Sir Cha. How do you like that, my Lord? _Afide to L. Mo.
Ho. Faith, I envy him But, my Lord, fuppofe your Incli- nation fhou'd Stumble upon a Woman truly Virtuous, wou d not a formal Repulfe from fuch an one put you itrangely out of Countenanced
Fop. Not at all, my Lord, for if a Man don't mind a Box on the Ear in a fair Struggle with a Frelh Country Girl, why the Devil ihou'd he be concerned at an Impertinent Frown for an Attack upon a Woman of Quality >
Mo. Then you have no Notion of a Lady's Cruelty >
Fop. Ha! ha/ let me Blood, if I think there's a greater Jeft in Nature. I am ready to crack my Guts with laughing to fee a fenfe- lefs Flirt, becaufe the Creature happens to have a little Pride that me calls, Virtue about her, give her felf all the Infolent Airs of Refent- rnent and Difdain to an Honeft Fellow, that all the while does not care three Pinches of Snuff, if fhe and her Virtue were to run with their laft Favours through the Firft Regiment of Guards Ha/ ha/ it puts me in Mind of an Affair of mine, fo Impertinent
Mo. O ! that's impoflible, my Lord, pray let's here it.
Fop. Why I happen'd once to be well in a certain Man of Qua- ty's Family, and his Wife lik'd me.
Mo. How do you know me lik'd you >
Fofi. Why, from the very Moment I told her t lik'd her, fhe ne- ver durft truft her felf at the End of the Room with me.
Mo. That might be her not liking you.
l... Fop. My Lord Women of Quality don't, ufe to fpeak the
thing plain but to fatisfie you, that I did not want Encourage- ment, I never came there in my Life, that fhe did not immediately Smile, and Borrow my Snuff- Box.
The CareJefs Husband. ' 21
Mff. She lik'd your Snuff at leaflr Well,but how did file ufe you?
Fop. By all that's Infamous fhe Jilted me.
JL. Fty. Ay, Death's Curfe, me Jilted me.
Mo. Pray let's hear.
Fop. For when I was pretty well convine-d me had a Mind to me, I one Day made her a Hint of an Appointment^ upon which, with an Infolent frown in her face (that made her look as ugly as the Devil) me told me, that if ever I came thi. her again, her Lord mould know that fhe, had forbidden me the Houfe before j "ha / ha! Did you ever hear of fuch a Slut ?
Sir Cba. Intolerable /
Ma. But how did her Anfwer agree with you >
Fop. Paffionately well For I ftar'd full in her Face, and Butted out a laughing, at which fhe turn'd upon her Heel, gave a Crack with her Fan like a Coach-whip, and Bridl'd out of the Room with the Air and Complexion of an Incens'd Turkey-Cock.
IL.Mv. What did you then? _A Servant wbifpers Sir Charles,,
L.Fop. I look'd after her, gap'd, threw up the Sam, and fell a (ing- ing out of the Window, fo that you fee, my Lord, while a Man is not in Love, there's no great Afflicl ion in Miffing ones way to a Woman.
Sir Cba. Ay, ay, you talk this very well my Lord , but now let's fee how you dare behave your felf upon Acl ion -- Dinner's ferv'd, and the Ladies (lay for us There's one within, that has been too Hard for as Brisk a Man as your felf.
L.Fop, Will (he/ then (he's an Undone Creature : For let m$ tell you, Gentlemen, Courage is the whole Myftery of Love, and of more Ufe than Condud is in War:, for the Braveft Fellow in Europe may* beat his Brains ont againft the. ftubborn Walls- of a Town But
7fo f Scene Continues,
Enter Lor d Morelove and Sir Charles. L.Me.QO\ Did not I bear up bravely?
O Sir Cha. Admirably ! with the Beft bred Infolence in Na- ture, jrou infulted.like a Woman of Qiiality, when her Country -Bred Husbands Jealous of her in the wrong Placcv L.'Mo .
22 The Carelefs Husbanft.
L.Mo. Ha! ha/ Did you Obferve, when I fail came into the Room, how careiefljr fte Brofli'd her Eyes over me, and when the Company Taluted me, flood all the while with her Face to the Win- do\v> ha! ha/
Sir Cba. What Aftonim'd Airs fhe gave her felf, when you ask'd * her, what made her fo grave upon her Old Friends?
L.Mo. And when ever loffer'd any thing in talk, whataffecled Care me took to Dired her Obfervations of it to a third Perfon >
Sir Cba. I obferv'd ihe did not Eat above the Rump of a Pidgeon all Dinner Time.
Sir Cba. If you keep your Temper file's Undone.
L.Mo. Provided (he flicks to her Pride, I believe I may^
Sir Cha. Ah ! never fear her, I warrant in the Humour ffiHHttj, fhe would as foon part with her Senfe of Feeling.
Sir Cba. Only obferve her Motions 3 for by her Behaviour at Din- ner, I am fure fhe defigns to Gall you with my LordFotipington^ if fo, you rnuft even ftand her Fire, and 'then Play my Lady Grtveairs upon her, whom I'll immediately Pique, and prepare for your purpofe.
L.Mo. lunderftand you the Propereft Woman in- the World
too, for me'l I certainly Encourage the leafl Offer from me, in hopes of Revenging her late Slights upon you.
S&Cba. Right, and the very Encouragement fhe gives you, at the fame time will give me a Pretence to Widen the Breach of my Quar- rel to her.
Sir Cba. -Why then upon Honour, my Lord, to give you a Proof
that I am Pofitively the Bcft Husband in the World, my Wife
never yet found me out.
Sir Cba. Nay, if fhe won't tell a Man of his Faults, when fhe fees 'em, how the Duce mould he mend em 3 But however, you fee I am going to leave 'em off as fafl as I can.
L.Mo. Being tir'd of a Woman is indeed a pretty tolerable Aflii- rance of a Man's not defigning to Fool on with her Jlere fhe comes
and if I don't miftake, Brim full of Reproaches -You can't take
her in a better Time 111 leave *-
The Carelefs Husband. -2 y
Enter Lady Graveairs.
La. Gra. No, my Lord, they were jufl talking of BafTer^ my Lord' Fofpingto?i has a Mind to Tally, if your Lordmip would encourage the Table. -N
[Exit LordMordovQ..
Sir Charles and Lady Graveairs falute Coldly + and Trifle fome time before thtyfpeak.
La. Gra. Sir Charles, I fent you a Note this Morning--
Sir Cha. Yes, Madam, buj: there were fome PafTages I did not ex< peel: from your Ladyfhip 5 yaufeem'd to Tax me with things that La. Gra. Look you, Sir. 'tis not at all Material, whether I tax'df you with any thingor no: I don't in theleaft defire to hear you clear your felf, upon my Word you may be very eafie as to that Matter j for my Part I am mighty well fatisfy'd, that things are as they are$
all that I have to fay to you is that you need give your felf the
Trouble to call at my Lodgings this Afternoon, if you mould have-- Time, as you were pkas'd to fend me Word - - and'fo your Servant, Sir, that's all. [ Going.
SbCha. Hold, Madam.
La. Gra. Look you., SIT Charles, 'tis not your -calling me back that' will iignifie any thing, I can allure you.
SirCha. Why this extraordinary Hafte, Madam >' La. Gra. In fhorr, Sir Charles, I have taken a great many things from you of late, that you know I have often told you I wou'd Pofi- tively bear no longer: But I fee things are in- vain, and the more People flrive to Oblige People, the lefs they are thank'd'-fcr't-: And J fince there muft be an end of ones Ridiculoufnefs one time or other, I don't fee any time fo proper as the Prefent, and therefore, Sir, I
defire you'd'ttifpofe things accordingly your Servant
S'irCha. Nay, Madam, let's ftart Fair however^ you ought at kail : * to flay 'till I have got it in my Head too, and then, if we imift part -
f Adieu you filent Grots, and fhady Groves, jff"& 11 jYe foft Amufements of our growing- Lbvcs^ fy ) Adieu thewhifper d Sighs,- that Fan'd the Fire,
(And all the Thrilling Joys of young Defire. La. Gra. O mighty well, Sir: I am very glad we are at laft come to a Right Underftanding, the only way I have long wiflvd fbr^ not but I'd have you to know I fee your Deiign through all this Painted "
24 The CareJefs Hiisband.
Es-b 'jfRc-517, nation: I know you d give your Eyes to make me Un-' carle now -
SirC/kr. O Fie, Madam, upon my Word I would not make you Uneafie. if it were in my Power.
La. Gra. O dear, Sir, you need not take fuel* Care, upon my Word
youll find I can part with you without the Ie.ift Diforder I'll
'try at lead, and ib once more, and for ever, Sh. your Servant. Not but you muft give me leave to tell you, as my lail Thought of you too, that I do think you are a Villain > [Exit Haflilf.
SirCba. Oyour very ftumble Servant, Madam [Bowing low. What a Charming Quality is a Woman's Pride, that's ftrong enough
to refufe a Man her Favours when he's weary of 'em Ah/
{_ Lady Graveairs returns.
La. Gra. Look you, Sir Charles don't prefume upon the Eafi-
nefs of my Temper : For to Convince you that 1 am Pofitively in .Earned in this Matter, I defire you would let me have what Letters you have had of mine fince you came to Windfor, and I expeci you'll return the reft, as I will yours, as foon as we come to London.
Sir Cba. Upon my Faith, Madam, I never kept any, I always put SnufF in 'em, and fo they wear out.
La. Gra. Sir Charles, I muft have 'em $ for Poiitively I won't ftir without 'em.
SizCba. Ha! Then I muft be Civil, I fee. Perhaps, Madam, I have no mind to part with them or you.
La.Gra. Look you, Sir, all thofe fort of things are in vain, now
there's an End of every thing between us If you fay you won't
.give 'em, I muft even get 'em as well as I can
Sir Cha. Hah ! that won't do then I rind.
La. Gra. Who's there, Mrs. Edging Your keeping-Let- ter, Sir, won't keep me, I'll aflure you.
Enter Edging.
Edg. Did your Ladyfhip call me, Madam.
La Gra. Ay, Child, pray dome the Favour to fetch my Hood : and Scarf out of the Dining-Room.
Edg. Yes, Madam
Sir Cba. O/ then there's Hope again.
Edg Ha/ me looks as if my Mafter had QparrelTd with her- I
hope Ihe s going away in^a Huff fh (han't ftay for her Scar I
warrant her This is Pure. [ Afide. Exit.
T r [ Afar Come Paufe Lady Graveairs^^*^
La Gra. Pray Sir Charles, before I go give me leave now, after *H, to ask you why you -have us'd me thus ?
The Car clefs Husband. 25
SirO^." What is it you call Ufage, Madam.*
La. Gra. Why then, fincc you will have it, how comes it you have been fo groily Carelefs and Negleftful of me of late: Only tell me feriouii': wherein I have deferv'd it ?
Sir Cha. Why then feriouily, Madam *
Re-enter Edging. - We are Interrupted
Edg. Here's your Ladyflnp's Scarf, Madam.
La. Gra. Thank you, Mrs. Edging Olaw / pray will you let fome Body get me a Chair to the Door.
Edg. Humh ! ihe might have told me that at firft, if me had been in fuchHafte to go. Exit..
ILz'JGra. Now, Sir.
Sir Cba. Why thenferioufly, I fay, I am of late grown fo very La- zy in my Pleafures, that I had rather lofe a Woman, than go through the Plague and Trouble of having or keeping her $ and to be free, 1 have found fo much, even in my Acquaintance with you, whom I confefs to be a Miftrefs in the Art of Pleafing, that I am from hence- forth refolv'd to follow no Diver (ion that Rifes above the Degree of
an Amufement and that Woman thatExpecls I mould make her
my Bufinefs} why like my Buiinefs, is then in a fairway of
being forgot : When once fhe comes to Reproach me with Vows, and Ufage, and Stuff, I had as live hear her talk of Bills, Bonds, and Ejedments, her Paflion becomes as troublefome as a Law Suit, and I would as foon Converfe. with my Sollicitor -- In fhort, I fhall never careSix Pence for any Woman that won't be Obedient.
La. Gra. I'll fwear, Sir, you have a very free way of Treating People 5 I am Glad I am fo well acquainted with your Principles however 5 and you'd have me Obedient?
Sir Cha. Why not? my Wife's fo, and I think fhe has as much Pretence to be proud, as your Ladyfbip.
La. Gra. -Lard ! is there no Chair to be had, I wonder ? Enter Edging.
Edg. Here's a Chair, Madam.
La.'G?vz. 'Tis very well, Mrs. Edging : Pray will you let fome Body get me a Giafs of Fair Water.
Edg. Hah / her Huff's almoft over, I fupp&fe. I fee he's a Vil- lain ftill. ' [Exit.
"Lz.pra. Well, that was the prettieft Fancy about Obedience Jure that ever was- Certainly a Woman of Condition muft be Infinitely Happy under the Dominion of fo Generous a Lover! But how came you to forget Kicking and Whipping all this while; methiak's you
K fhould-
o<5 The Carelefs Husband.
fhoa d not have left fo faftiiomble an Article out of your Scheme of
Government. . , ,
Sir O&rf Urn/ no, there's too much Trouble in that, tho 1 have kno wr/eni of Admirable Ufe in the Reformation of fome Humour- fome Gentlewomen.
La. Gra, But one thing more, and I have done Fray what
Degree of Spirit muft the Lady have, that is to make her felf Happy under fo much Freedom, Order and. Tranquility?
SirCba. O/ me muft at leaft have as much Spirit as yourLady- ihip, or me d give me no Pleafure in-breaking it.
La.Gra. O/ that would be Troublefome No, you had better
take one that's brokerrto your -Hand , there are fuch Souls to behind, I believe $ things that will Rub your Temples in an Evening 'till you Fall fait a-ileep in their 'Laps, Creatures too that think their Wages their Reward 5 I fancy, atlaft, that will be thebeft Method for the -Lazy Pam'on of a Marry 'd Man, that has put-liv'd his any other Senfe of Gratification,
SitCba. Look you, Madam, I have told you that Reproaches will never do your Bufinefs.with me : I have lov'd you very well a great while ^ now you would have me love you better, and longer, which is not in my power to do, and I don't think there's any Plague upon Earth like a Dun, that comes for more Mony than ones ever likely to be Able to Pay.
Ea. Gra. A Dun ! Do you take me for a Dun, Sir? Do I come a Dunning to you? Q Walks In an Heat.
SirCba. Hit! Don't expofe your felf here's Company.
La. Gra. I care not A Dun ! You mall fee, Sir, I can Revenge
an Affront, tho I defpife the Wretch that offers it A Dun 3 O / I
could die with laughing at the Fancy. Exit.
Sir Cba. Sol ihe's in Admirable Order .Here comes my Lord 3
and I'm afraid in the very Nick of his Occafion for her.
Enter Lord Morelove.
Mo. OCbarlesl Undone again! all's Loft and Ruin'd. Sir Cba. What's the matter, now?
Mo. I have been Playing the Fool yonder even to Contempt, my fenfelefs Jealoufie has confefs'd a Weaknefs I never (hall forgive
my felf She has infulted on it to that Degree to, I can't bear the
Thought QCbarksl this Devil ftill is Miftrefs of my Heart, and! con' d dam my Brains to think how grofsly too I have let her kno^ it. Sir Cba. Ah ! how it would Tickle her if flie faw you in this Con- dition: Ha/ ha/ ha/
The Carelefs Husband. 27
Sir .Cba. Well, well, let's hear ?> pray, what has me done to you?
L Mo. Why ever (ince I left you fee has Treated me with fo much Coolnefs and ill Humour 5 and that Thing of a Lord with fo much laughing Fate, fuch an acquainted, fucha fpiteriil Familiarity, that fhe at la ft law and triumph J d in my Uneafinefs.
Sir Cba. Ha/ ha/ then would I have given Fifty Pound to have feen your Face: Why what, in the Name of Common Senfe, had you to do with Humility ? Will you never have enough on't ? Death / 'twas fetting a lighted Match to Gun-powder to blow your felf up.
Sir Cba. O throw it at her Feet by all means, put on your Tragedy Face, catch faft hold of her Petticoat, whip out your Handkerchief and in point Blank Verfedefireher, one way or other, to make an End of the Bufinefs.
Sir Cba. I only fhew you, as you come out of her Hands, my Lord.
Sir Cba. That's according as you bear her Behaviour.
Sir Cba. Your Bufinefs I believe She's ready for you, me's
juft gone down Stairs, and if you don't make hafte after her I exped her back again, with a Knife or a Piftol, prefently.
Sir Cba. No, flay a little, here comes my Lord : we'll fee what we can get out of him firfi.
L.Fop. Nay, prithee, Sir Charles, let's have a little of thee We have been fo Chagrin without thee, that, flap my Breath, the Ladies are gone half a-fleep to Church for want of thy Company.
Sir Cba. That's hard indeed, while your Lordfhip was among 'em: Is Lady Krtty gone too?
a8 The Carelefs Husband.
L.Afc. Death/ 'tis that I gave her, and the only Prefentfhe ever would
receive from me - Ask him how he came by it ? {Aflde to Sir Cha.
Sir Cba. Prithee don t be uneafie - Did (he give it you, my Lord >
L.Fcp. Faith, Charles, I can't fay (he did, or fhe did Not, but we
were Playing the Fool, and I took it a la Pfhah ! I can't
tell thee ia French neither, but Horace touches it to a Nicety, 'twas
. Pignus Direptiim Male Pertinaci.
L.Fop. My Lord, I am Pajlionatdy Oblig'd to you, but I ani afraid I can't Anfwer your Hazarding, o much of -the Lady's Favour.
A/*. Not at all, my Lord: 'lis Pofiible I may not have the fame Regard to her Frown that your Lordlhip has.
Fop. [_ajiile.~\ That's Bite, I'mfure, I know he'd give a Joint
of his little Finger to be as well with her as I am But here Ihe
comes ! Charles^ (land by me Muft not a Man be a Vain Cox-- comb now, toihinkthis Creature follow 1 d one? Sir Cha. O{ Nothing fo Plain, my Lord.
Enter Lady Betty.
Sir Cba. You know,. I hate Trouble, Madam* La. Bet. Pooh/ you'll make me flay 'till Prayers are half over now.
[_ Smuggles with him*
L.F0/7. Then Comparatively I won't part withiujvn/; tin* -..yitl ker. La. Bet. O you Devil! you have Kili;dmy Ann/ <5h / Well le rioufiy, if you'll let me have it I'll give you a Better.
[ djide to Sir Cha.
La. Bet. O Difraal / upon my Word, lam only afliam'd to give it you, do you think I wou'd offer fuch an Odious-Fancy'd Thing to -my Body I had the leaft Value for >
. Sir Cha. Now it comes a -little Nearer, methinks it does not feem to be any Kindnefs at all. - & to L. Mo.
The Carelcfs Hi island. 29
"L.Fop. Why really, Madam, upon fecond View it has not ex- ireamly the Mode of a Lady's Utenfil} are you fure it never held i ny thing butSnuffi La. Bet. 0! you Moniter!
Fop. Nay, I only ask,, becaufs it feems to me to have very much, the Air and Fancy of Momieur Stnoakandfofs Tobacco-box.
Mo. I can Bear no more.
Sir Cha. Why don't then, I'll (lep into the Company, and return to your Relief, when there's Occafion. [Exit Sir Charles.
leave to End the Difference- Since the Slightnefs of the Thing
may let you beftow it without any Mark of Favour, fhall I beg it of your Ladyfhip?
La.ltef. O my Lord, no Body foonerI beg you give it my Lord. [Looking very earneflly upon L. Fop. who f mi ling gives it to L. Mo. and then Bows gravely to her.
L.Fop. O my Lord, this Gencrofity will diftrad me,
man that is not the fined Creature'in theUniverfe. [_Bowing to L.Bet.
I.,. Mo. O! Your Lordihip does me too much Honour, 1 have the Woril judginent in the World,, no Man has been mare deceiv'd in it*
Lop. Pray what's that, tf^Lord?
Mo. A Bare Face.
Fop. Your Lordjbip will pardon me, if I don't fo readily com- prehend How a Woman's Bare Face can Hide her Face,
L.Mo. It ofren hides her Heart, my Lord^ and therefore. I" think it a-more Dangerous Mask than a Piece of Velvet: That's rather a Mark, than a Difguife of an -111 Woman: But the Mifchiefs skulk- ing behind a Beaut ecus Form, give no Warning, they are always Sure,
La.&??. O barbarous Afperfion/ thing to fay for the Poor Women?
H'O The Carelefs Husband.
I, Fop. I muff confefs, Madam, nothing of this Nature ever hap- pen'd in ruv Courfe cf Amours: J always Judge the Beau -ous Form of a Woman to be the-moft Agreeable Part of her Compo^ion, and when a Lady once does me the Honour to Tofs That into m } Arms I think my felf Oblig d in Honour not to Quarrel about the reft of her Eq-upage. . ,
La. "Bet. Why ay, my Lord, there's fomc gcoc humour in that now.
La. Bet. 60 / ' _Afide.
Fop. My Lord, when my Wine's Right I never care it fhou'd be Zefted^ a fine Worn .n, like a tine Oyfter, needs no Sa wee but her own .
Mo. I know lome Ladies \voud thank you for that Opinion. La. Bet. My.Lord Mi-ekves really grown fuch a Churl to the Women, I don t only think he is Not, but can t Conceive how he ever cou'd be in Love.
Mo. Upon my Word, Madam, I once thought I was. [Smiling. La. Bet. Fie/ fie! how cou'd you think: fo> I fancy now you had only a Mind to Domineer over " fome poor Creature , and fo you thought you were in Love, ha f ha /
Mo. The Lady I lov'd, Madam, grew fo Unfortunate in her Con dud, that me at laft brought me to Treat her with the fame In- difference and Civility as I now pay your Ladyfnip.
La. Bet. And Ten to Ore, Juil at that time me never thought you "-fuch tolerable Company 5 ha ! ha !
'L. Mo. That I can^t fay, Madam, for at that time me grew fo AfFefted, there was no judging of her Thoughts at all. [Mimicking her manner. La. Bet. What, and fo you left the Poor Lady > O you Incon- Irant Creature !
[_La. Bet. and L. Mo.feem to talk.
L.Fop. [_a/ide.~] Ha/ ha! ha! he has a Mind to abufe her, I find 5 To I'll ev'n give him an Oppertunity of doing his Bufinefs with her
^t once for ever My Lord, I perceive your Lordihip's going to be
Good Company to the Lady, and for her fake, I don't think it Good Manners in me to Difturb it.
Enter Sir Charles.
L.Fop. O Charles \ I was juft Wanting thee- Hark thee I have Three Thoufand Secrets for, thee I have made fuch Difcoveries
to
The Carelefs Husband. i
to tell thee all in One Wo*d Mvreloves as Jealous of me as the De- vil^ heh! heh! ha!
SirOba. Is't poflible? has fhe given him any Occafion?
Sir Cba. O! Keep in while'the Scent lyes, and fhe's your own,, my Lord.
if I have not rid down half a Thoufand Pound after her already.
Sir Cba. What do you mean ?
Sir Cba. You are a Fortunate Man, faith you are refolv'd not
to be thrown out, I fee,
L.Fof. Hang it I What fliou'd a Man come out for, if he does not, keep up to the Sport ?
SiiCha. WellPulht, my Lord.
SirC&rf. Down! down, my Lord ah 'ware Handles.
Fop. Ah! Charles. [Embracing hrm.~] Prithee let's Obferve a little, there's a Fooliih Cur, nov/ I have run her to a Stand, has a Mind to be at her by himfelf, and thou fhalt fee me won't ftir out of her Way for him. Q They f and, afufe*
Mo. Ha ! ha ! Your Lady fhip's very Grave of a ludden, you look as if your Lover had infolently recoverd his'Common Senfes.
La. Bel. And yc-ur Lordfhip is fo very Gay, and. Unlike your felf, one wou'd \ Vear'you were Juft come from the Plea fure of making your Miftrefs afraid of You.
L.Mo. No faith, quite Contrary : For do^eu know, Madam, I have juft found out, that upon your Account lhave made my felf One of the Molt Ridiculous Puppies upu.j the Fa<?%%|Lthc Earth, I have up- on my Faith! nay andrfo aitlyfuch -ha/ ha! ha! that it's at laft become a Jeft'ev':/ ij my felf, and I can't help laugh- ing at it for the Soul of me.
La. Bet. I,want to Cure him of that Laugh now-fyj//V*/?/// and afide.~\ My Lord, (ince you are fo Generous I'll tell you another Se- cret? do you know too, that I ftill -;nd (fpite of all your Great Wifdom, and my Contemptible Qualifies, as you are pleas'd no\w- and then to call 'em ; ) Do you kngw, I fay, that I fee under all this a
you
r The Carelefs Husband.
you ftill love me with the fame'.Hclplcfs Paffionj and can your vaft JWight Imagine, that I wont u<e you Accordimiy, forthefe Ex- traordinary Airs you are Pleas'd to give your ielr ?
La Bet My Lord, you have talk'd to me tms half Hour, with, at confefimg Pain, IPaufis andaffefo to-Gapc."] only remember it.
"La. 'Bet. What did you fay, my Lord ,
La. Jto. Ka ! ha / he's Diforder'd Now I am Eafie -My Lord Fopptneton> have you a mind to your Revenge at Picquet > ^
L.Fop. I have always a mind to an opportunity of entertaining your Ladymip, Madam.
out a thoufand Devils.
Sir C&*. And your Temper is enough to furniih out a tnouiand lucft Women. Come away I have Bufmefs for you upon the Terrace.
Sir Cba. Not a Syllable r the Tongue's a Weapon you 11 always have the worft at: For I fee you have no 'Guard, and me carries a DevilifhEdge
La.Bet. My Lord, don't let any thing I've faid frighten you away 5 for if you have the leaft Inclination to ftav, and Rail, you know the old Conditions ^ 'tis but your asking me Pardon next Day, and you may give your Paffion any liberty you thing fit.
Sir Cha. Are you Mad/
Sir Cba. Upon Condition you'll fpeak no more of Her to me, my Lord, do as you pleafe.
Sir Cba. Come along I'll fet you to work I warrant you - Nay, nay, none of you^ parting Ogles. - Will you go >
L.M&. Yes, ana I nope for ever.QEx-.S/r Cha.pul/ing away L.Mo.
La. Eet. Indeed, my Lord Morelove has fomething ftrangely fingu- 3ar in his Manner.
/ laft
The Carelcfs Husband. $ 5
lad thruft was a Coup, de Grace I believe, -- - . I'm afraid his Honour will hardly meet your Ladimip in haft again.
La. Bett. Not unlefs his Second Sir Charles keeps hiisi better inPra- clice, perhaps. Well, the Humour of this Creature has done me fignal Service to day, I muft keep it up for fear of a fecond Engagement.
'L Fop. Never was poor Wit fo foil'd at his own Weapon fure.
La. Bett. Wit / Had he ever any Pretence to it ? . L Fop. Ha/ ha/ he has not much in .Love, I think, tho' he wears the Reputation of a very pretty young Fellow, among fome fort of Peo- ple j but, ftrike me ftupid, if ever I could difcover Common Senfe in all the Progrefs of his Amours : He expeds a Woman ihou'd like him for endeavouring to convince her, that fhe has not one good Quality belonging to the whole Compofition of her Soul and Body.
La.Bett. That, ITuppofe, is only in a modefl Hope, that ihell, mend her Faults to qualitie ner felf for his vaft- Merit, ha i ha!
L.Fop. Poor Morelove! I fee fhe can't indurehim. _Aftde.
La. Bett. Or if one really had all thofe Faults, he does not confider, that Sincerity in Love is as much out of Faihion as tweet Snuffy No Body -takes it now.
La. Bett. O what a forfeiting Couple has he put together
[_ Throwing her band carelefy upon his.
L.Fop. Fond of me, by all that's tender Poor Fool, I'll givethee
Eafe immediately. _Afide. ~\ But, Madam, you were pleas' d juft
now to offer me my Revenge at Pkquet - Now here's no Body with- in, and I think we can't make ufe of a better Opportunity.
La. Bett. Q! no: Not now, my Lord/ I have a Favour I wou'd fain beg of you firft. .
L.Fop. But time, Madam, is very precious at this Place, and i inall not eafily* forgive my felf, if I don't take him by the Forelock
La. Ret.t. But 1 have a great mind to have a little mc;re Sport with inyrLorct Morehv? firfl, and wou'd fain beg your Ailiftance.
L.Fop. O! withal my Heart ^ and, upon fecond thoughts, I'don't know but piquing a Rival in Publick may be as~ good, Sport, as being v/ell with a Miftrefsin private: For, after all, the Pleafure ui : a Woman is like that of her own Vertue, not fo much in the ching
the Reputation of having it. [_Afide.~\ But l]ov% Madam > tan I
ferve you in this Affair?
La.Bett. Why methought,. as my Lord Mv\i. :, l;c
ihew'd a ftern Refentment in his look, that ibcr.i'd to thrc. : .
F kcLci
34 The Carelefs Husband.
Rebellion, and downright Defiance : Now I have a great Fancy, that you and I fliou'd follow him to the Terrace, and laugh at his Refoluti- on before he has time to put it in Practice.
La. Bet. Nay we won't give him time, if his Courage fliou'd fail to repent it.
L.Fop. Ha ! ha ! let me Blood, if I don't long to be at it ! ha! ha I
La. Bet. O ! 'twill be fuch Diverfion to fee him bite his Lips, and broil within, only with feeing us ready to fplit our fides in laughing at nothing, ha! Jia!
feftaion of his not minding us 'twill be fo foolifh when we know
he loves us to Death all the while, ha ! ha/
La. Bet. And if at laft his fage Mouth fhou'dopen in furly Contra- diftaion of our Humour, then will we, in pure oppfition to his, immedi- ately fall foul upon every thing that is not Gallant, and Famionable$ Coiiftancy mail be the Mark of Age and Uglinefs, Vertue a Jeft, well rally Difcretion out of Doors, lay Gravity at our Feet, and only Love, Free JLove, Diforder, Liberty and Pleafure be our ftanding Principles.
of being Exuberantly pleafant upon this Stabjeft 1 am impatient-
my Fancy's upon the Wing already let's fly to him.
La. Eft. No, flay till I am juft got out, our going together won't be fo proper.
is over, you won't forget that I have a certain Revenge due.
La. Bet. Ay/jiy/ after Supper I am for you Nay, you fhan't ftir [a ftep, my Lord [ Seeing her to the Door.
iftence of my Soul's eternal Entity
a La. Bet. O, your Servant - [Exit L. Betty.
L.Fop. Ha/ ha/ ftark mad for me, by all that's Handfome / Poor Morelove: That a Fellow who has ever been abroad, fliou'd think a Woman of her Spirit is to be taken as the Confederates do Towns by a Regular Siege, when fo many of the French SucceiTes might have ihewn him the fureft way is to whifper the Governor : How can a Coxcomb give himfelf the Fatigue of Bombarding a Woman's Under- ftandmg, when he may with fo much eafe make a Friend of her Con- ftitution I'll fee, if I can mew him a little French Play with Lady *M?r-fct me fee Ay HI make an end of it the old way get
The Carelefs Husband. 35
her intoPicquet at her own Lodgings not mind one 'Title of ray
Play, give her every Game before fhe's half up, that fhe may judge the ftrength of my Inclination by my haft of lofing up to her Price $ then of
a fudden, with a familiar Leer, cry Rat Piquet fweep Counters,
Cards, and Money upon the Foor, & done L Affaire eft Faite. [Exit.
Ibe Scene the Terrace. Enter Lady Eafy and Lady Betty.
La. Ea. A /TY Dear, you really talk to me as if I were your Lover, IV JL and not your Friend 5 or elfe I am fo dull, that by all you've faid I can't make the leaft Guefs at your real Thoughts Can you be ferious for a Moment >
La. Bet. Not eafily : But I would do more to oblige you.
La. Ea. Then pray deal ingeniouily, and tell me without Referve, are you fure you don't Jove my Lord Morekve?
La. Bet. Then ferioufly I think not but becaufe I won't be po-
litive, you mall judge by the worft of my Symptoms Fir ft I own 1
like his Converfation, his Perfon has neither Fault, nor Beauty
well enough, I don't remember I ever fecretly wifht my felf married to him, or that I ever ferioufly refolv'd againft it.
La.Ea. Well! fo far you are tolerably fafe : But come, as to his manner of addrefling to you, what EfFed: has that had ?
La. Bet. Humh [Smiling^ I am not a little pleas'd to obferve few Men follow a Woman with the fame Fatigue and Spirit, that he does me? am more pleas'd when he lets me ufe him ill 5 and if ever I have a favourable Thought of him, 'tis when I fee he can't bear that Ufage.
La.Ea. Have a Care, that laft is a dangerous Symptom: Hepleaies your Pride, I find.
L.Bet. Oh! perfe&ly, in that Town no mortal ever can come up to him.
La.Ea. But now, my Dear/ now comes the main Point Jea-
loufie/ are you fure you have never been toucht with it ? Tell me that with a fafe Confcience, and then I pronounce you clear.
La. Bet. Nay, then I defie him ? for pofitively I was never jealous in my Life.
La.Ea. How a Madam/ have you never been ftirr'd enough to think a Woman ftrangely forward for being a little familiar in Talk with him ? or are you fure his Gallantry to another never gave you the leaft Diforder? Was you never, upon no Accident, 10 an ApprehcnGon of lofing him >
F * La. Bfft.
: 6 The Carelefs Husband.
"' La. Ett. Hah Why, Madam -- - Blefs me/ wh, wh : '
\vhy fure you don't call this Jealoufie, my Dear.' 1 'La. fa. Nay, nay, that is not the Bufmefs 5 Have you ever felt any thing of this Nature, Madam?
La. Bet. Lord ! don't be fo hafty, my Dear any thing of this
Nature O Lu'd/ I fwear I don't like it: Dear Creature bring me
off here 5 I am half frighted out of my Wits.
La. Ea. Nay, if you can rally upon't, your Wound is not over deep I'm afraid.
La. Bet. Well, that's comfortable faid however.
La. fa. But come, to the Point 5 how far have you been jealous >
La. Bet. Why - -- O blefs me/ - he gave the Mufick one Night to my Ladr Languish here upon the Terrace ^ andtho' fneand I were-very good Friends, i remember i cou'd not fpeak to her in a Week for't Oh
La. Ea. Nay7 now you may laugh if you can:, for, take my word, the Marks are upon you but come, what elfe?
La. Bet. O nothing elfe, upon my word, my Dear.
La. Ea. Well, one. Word more ,, and then I proceed to Sentence: Suppofe you -v;re heartily convinc'd, that he adually folio w'd another Woman ?
La. Bet. But, Pray, my Dear, what Oecafion is there to fuppofe any fuch thing at all ?
La. Ea. Guilty upon mV Honour.
La. Bet. Pfhah/ 1 derie him to fay, that ever I own d any Inclinati- on for him-
La. Ea. But you have given him Terrible leave to guefs it.
Lt. Bet. If ever you fee us meet again, you'll have but little Reafon to think fo, I can affure you.
La. Ea. That I (hall iee prefdntry ^ for here comes Sir Charles, and I am fure my Lord can't be far off.
. Enter Sir Charles.
Sir Cha. Servant Lady Betty ~ - My Dear, how do you do ?
La. Ea. At your Service, my Dear - - But 'pray' what have you done with my Lord Mordovet
La. Bet. Ay, Sir Charles, pray how does your Pupil do? Have you any hopes of him ? Is he Docible ?
Sir Cha. Well, Madam, to confefs your Triumph over me, as well as him. I own my hopes of him are left. I offer'd what I cou'd to his Intrusion, but he's incorrigbly yours, and undone and the news, 1 prefume, does not difpleafe your Ladyfhip.
La. Bet. Fy, fy, Sir Charles, you 'difparage your Friend, I am afraid you doa t take Pains with him.
Sir
The Carelefs Husband. 3 7
Sir Cba. Ha / I fancy, Lady Betty, your good Nature wont let you ficep a Nights ? Don't you love dearly to hurt People ?
La. Bet. O! your Servant then without a Jeft, the Alan is fo unfor-
SIT Cba. Strange Goodnefs O that I were your Lover for a
Month or two*
La. Bet. What then?
Sir Cba. I wou'd make that pretty Heart's Blood of yours Ake in a Fortnight.
La. Bet. Auh ! I ihbu'd hate you, your Affurance wou'd make your Addrefs intolerable.
Sir Cba. I believe it wou'd, for I'd never Addrefs to you at all. :
La. Btf. O ! you Clown you/ [ Hitting bim with her Fan.
Sir Cba. Why, what to do? to feed a difeas'd Pride, that's Eternal! y
breaking out .in the Affectation of an ill "Nature that in my Con-
Science I believe is but Affedation.
La. Bet i. You, nor your Friends have no great reafon to complain of my Fondnefs 1 believe. Ha / ha J ha!
Sir Cba.' [Looking earneftlyon ber. "} Thou iufolent Creature / How can you make a Jeft of a Man, whofe whole Life s but one continued^ Torment from your want of common Gratitude?
La. Bet. Torment/ for my part I really believe him aseafieas you are-
Sir Cba. Poor Intolerable Affectation I You know the contrary, you know him blindly yours, you know your Power, and the whole pleafure of your Life's the poor and low abufe of it*
La, Bet. Pray how do I abufe it? If I have any Power.
Sir Cba. You drive him to Extreams that make him Mad, then punifli him for ading againft his Reafon: You've almofc turn'd his Brain, his-* common Judgment fails hmr$ he's now, at this very Moment", driven by hisDefpair upon a Projed, in hopes to free him from your Power, that I am fenfible, and fo muft any one be, that has his fenfe, of courfc- muft ruine him with yon, forever: I almoft bluih to think of it, yet- your unreafonable Difdain has forc'd him to : it 5 andfhou'd he now fu- fped I oiter'd But a hint.of it tcuyou, as in contempt of his Defigir, I know he'd call my Life to anfwer it : But I have no regard to Men in Madnefs, I rather chofe for once to truft in your good Nature, in hopes the Man, whom your Unwary Beauty had made Miferable, your Ge- nerofity wou'd fcorn to make Ridiculous.
La. Bet. Sir Charles, you charge me very home, I never had it immy Inclination to make any tlik-rr ridiculous that did not dc:crv; ifi I?ray what is this Budnefs you thini-. fo Extravagant in, him.
Sir Cba. Something fo abfurdly K -.rJLy fdi-givc-
ev'n me that roll it you, 19S7- ^ %* : *-
Vg The Carelefs Husband.
Sir Glw. You may be fure he did not want my DifTwafionsfromit. La. Bet. Let's hear it. .
Sir Cfc*. Why this Man, whom I have known to love you with fiich rExcefs of Generous Defire, whom I have heard in his. Extatick .Praifes
"La: Bet. Q ! Sir Charles [ Blufimg.
SirCba. Nay, grudge not, fince 'tis paft, to hear what was (tho'you contemn'dit) once his Merit: but now I own, that Merit ought to be forgotten.
La. Bet. Pray, Sir, be plain.
S'uCba. This Man, I fay, whofe unhappy Paflion has fo ill fucceed- cd with you, at laft has forfeited all his Hopes finto which, paidon me, I confefs my Friendfhip had lately flatter'd him) his Hopes of ev'n deferving now your loweft Pity or Regard.
'La. Bet. You amaze me For I can't fuppofe his utmoft Malice
dares aflault my Reputation and what
Sir Cba. No, but he Malicioufly prefumes the World will do it for ; him 5 and indeed he has taken nounlikely means to make 'em bufic with their Tongues: For he is this Minute upon the open Terrace, in the higheft Publick Gallantry with my Lady Graveairs. And to convince the World and-me, he faid, he was not that Tame Lover we fancied him, he'd venture to give her theMufick to Night: Nay, I heard him, before my Face, fpeak to one of the Hoboys, to Engage the reft, and defir'd they wou'd all take their Directions only from my Lady Graveairs.
La. Bet. My Lady Graveairs \ Truly I think my Lord's very much in the Right on't - for my part, Sir Charles 9 I don't fee any thing in this, that's fo very ridiculous, nor indeed that ought to make me think cither the better or the worfe of him for't.
SiiCba. 'Pfliah! 'Pfhah/ Madam, you, and I know, 'tis not
in his power to renounce you 5 this is but the poor Difguife of a refent- ing Paflion vainly ruffled to a Storm, which the leaft gentle look from you can reconcile at will, and laugh into a Calm again.
La. Set. Indeed, Sir Charles, I (han't give my felf that Trouble, I believe.
Sir Cba. So I told him, Madam $ Are not all your Complaints, faid I, already owing to her Pride, andean you fuppofe this publick Defiance of it (which you know you can't make good too) won't incenfe her
snore agairift you? That's what I'd have, faid he, flatting wildly,
I care
The Carelefs Husband, 39
I care not what becomes of me, fo I but live to fee her piqued at it. La. Bet. Upon my word, I fancy my Lord will find himfelf miftakeri.'
flood out againft her, fhe'd fooner bu.rft, than mew the leail diftant Motion of Uneafinefs.
La.ltef. lean aflureyou, Sir Charles, my Lord won't find himfelf deceived in your Opinion Piqued !
Sir Cba. She has it/ _Aftde.
La. Ea. Alas, poor Woman/ how little do our Paffions make us?
La. Bet, Not, but I wou'd advife him to have a little Regard to my Reputation in this Bufinefs: I wou'd have him take heed of Publickly Affronting me.
Sir Cba. Right, Madam, that's what I ftridly warn'd him of 5 for among Friends, whenever the World fees him follow another Woman, the Malicious Tea-Tables will be very apt to be free with your Ladymip,
La. Bet. I'd have him Confider that, methinks.
Sir Cba. But alas! Madam, 'tis not in his Power to think with Reafon, his mad Refentment has deftroy'd ev'n his ' Principles of Common Ho- nefty : He confiders nothing but a fenfelefs Proud Revenge, which in this Fit of Lunacy, 'tis Impoflible that either Threats or Dangers can , Diflwade him from.
La. Bet. What! does he defie me, Threaten me! then he fhall fee, that I have Paflions too, and know, as well as he, to ftir my Heart 'gainft any Pride that Dares Infult me. Does he fuppofe I fear him > Fear the little Malice of a flighted Paflion, that my own Scorn has flung toadefpifed Refentment! Fear him/ O! it provokes me to think he Dares have fuch a Thought /
La. Ea. Dear Creature don't Diforder your felf fo.
La. Bet. Let me but live to fee him once more within my Power, and I'll forgive the Reft of Fortune. [ Walking diforderd,
Juz.Ea. _Afide. ~\ Well/ (certainly I am very Ill-natur'd^ for tho' I
fee this News has difturb'd my Friend, I can't help being plea fed with
any hopes bf my Lady Gravealrs being other wife Difpos'd of My
Dear I am afraid you have provokt her a little too far.
Sir Cba. Tfhah/ not at all -You fhall fee I'll fweettnher.,
and (he'll cool like a Dim of Tea.
La. Bet . I may fee him with his Complaining Face again
Sir Cha. lam forry, Madam, you fo wrongly judge of what I've told you ^ I was in Hopes to have ftirr'd your Pity, not your Anger:, I little
thought
40 The Gar clefs Husband.
it vour Geiierofay wou'd puniih him for Faults, which you your
: Jhou'd Commit -- Yonder he comes and all the World
-with him : Might I adviie you, Madam, you fhoutt not Refent this
Thin^ at all - I "wou'd not fo much as flay to tee him m his Faulty
fd be the laft that heard of it: Nothing can fling him more, or
fo Tuftly Punifh his Folly, as your Utter Negleft of it.
Lz.Ea. Come, Dear Creature, be Perfwaded, and go home with me -, indeed it will fhe\v r more Indifferent to avoid him.
La. for. No, Madam, 111 Oblige his Vanity for once, and flay to let him fee how ftrangely he has Piqued me.
Sir Cba. _Afide. ~\ O not at all to fpeak of 3 you had as good part with
a little of that Pride of yours, or I fhallyet make it a very Troublefome
Companion to you. Q Goesfrmn tbem^ and wbifpers Lord Morelove.
j&nter Lord Foppington, -and a little Mfter, Lord Morelove, Ladjt
Graveairs, and other Ladies.
La. Eet. Well ! my Lord / ha\ - e you feen my Lord Morelove >
'L.Fop. Seen him! - - ha/ ha! lia! - - I have fuch things to tell you, Madam . youll Die -
Bet. O 'Pray 3 let's have 'em, for I was never in a better Humour to receive them.
Fop. Hark you. [7^ whifper.
Mo. So, fhe's engag'd already. To Sir Charles.
Sir Cba. So much the better 3 make but a juft Advantage of my Sue- cefs, and fhe's Undone.
SIT Cba. You fee already what ridiculous Pains fhe's taking to flir your Jealoufie and Cover her own.
. Ojiever fear me5 for, upon my Word, it now appears Ridi- culous ev'n to me.
Sir Cba. AiidHark you - [}Pbifpers L. Morelove.
La.^r. Ha! ha/ and fo the Widowwasas full of Airs, ashisLordihip.
^n Cba. Only obferve that, and 'tis impoffible you can fail. \Afide.
La.Gra. My Lord Morelove, What do you leave us ?
'L.Mo. Ten Thoufand Pardons; Madam', I was but Juft ___
La.Gra. Nay, nay, no Excufes, my Lord, fo vou will butlet us nave you again.
SuCba.
The Car clefs Husband. 41
[_AfiJe to La. Gra.] I fee you have Good Humour, Madam, when you like your Com pair/,
La.Gra. Ariel you, I fee, 'for all your mighty Third of Dominion, cou'd ftoop to be Obedient, if one thought it worth one's while to make youfo! Ha/ ha/
Sir Cha. Hah/ Power would make her an admirable Tyrant. [_Afide.
La. Ea. [Obfervinr Sir Charles *WL/z.Graveairs.] So/ there's another
Couple have Quarrel!' d too, I fee Thofe Airs to my Lord Morelove
look as if Defign'd to recover Sir Charles into Jealoufie : I'll Endea* vour to Joyn the Company, and, it may be, that will let me into th Secret. AJide. ~] My Lord Foppington, I vow this is very Uncomplai- Ihnt to Engrofs fo Agreeable a Part of the Company to your felf.
Sir Cha. Nay, my Lord, that is not fair indeed to Enter into Secrets among Friends ! Ladies what fay you? I think we ought to De- clare agairift it.
Ladies. O / no Secrets, no Secrets,
La. Bet. Well, Ladies, I ought only to ask your Pardon: My Lord's excufable, for I wou'd haul him into a Corner.
La. Bet. Odious Multitude -
La.Gra. O, my Lord, we Women have all Reafon to be jealous of Lady Betty Modift's Power.
La. Bet. Not at all, my Lord, he has only made Room for another . k One mult fometimes make Vacancies, or there cou'd be no Preferment.
'L.Fop. Ha/ ha! Ladies Favours, my ,Lprd, like Places at Court, are not always held for Life you know.
La. Bet. No, indeed ! if they were, the Poor fine Women wou'd be all us'd like their Wives 5 and no more minded than the liufmefs of the Nation.
La..jRz. Have a Care, Madam, an Undeferving Favourite has been the Ruine of many a Prince's Empire.
4 2 Ths 1 Carelefs Husband.
L Mo. O! there's no fuch Fear of that, my Lord, tho'.the Men of Senfegive it over, there will be always fomeldla Fellows vain enough TO 'believe their Merit may fucceed as well as. your Lordfhips.
La. Bet. Or, if they mou'd not, my Lord, Cad-Lovers, you know, need not fear being long out of Employment, while there are fo many
well Difpos'd People in the World There are generally Negleded
Wives, Stale Maids, or Charitable Widows, always ready to relieve
the Neceflities of a Difappointed Paflion and, by the way, Hark
vou, Sii Charles.
' L. Mo. _Afide. ~\ So! fhcis Itirr'd, I fee 5 for all her Pains to Hide
it -J me wou'd hardly have glanc'd an Affront at a Woman, me was
not Piqued at.
La. Gra. _Afide.~} That Wit was thrown at me, I fuppofej but Hi
La. Bet. [Softly to Sir Charles.] Tray 1 how came you all this While to Truft your Miftrefs fo Eafily >
Sir Cba. One is not fo apt, Madam, to be allarm'd at the liberties of an Old Acquaintance, as perhaps your Ladimip ought to be at the Re- fentment of an Hard-us'd, Honourable Lover.
La. Bet. Suppofe I were allarm'd, how does that make you eafie?
S'uCha. Come, come, be wifeatlaft^ my trufting them together may eafily convince you, that f as I told you before) I know his Ad- dreifes to her are only Outward, and 'twill be your Fault now, if you let him go on till the World thinks him in Earneft^ and a Thbufand Bufie Tongues are fet upon Malicious Enquiries into your Reputation.
La. Bet. Why, Sir Cbarles^ do you fuppofe while he behaves him- felf as he does, that I wont Convince him of my Indifference ?
SirCfez. But -Hear me, Madame
La.Gra. [AfiJe."] The Air of that Whifper looks as if the Lady had a mind to be making her Peace again 3 and 'tis Poflible, his Worfhip's being fo Bufie in the Matter too, may proceed as much from hisjealou- iie of my Lord with me, as Friendfhip to her, at leaft I Fancy fo ^ therefore I'm refolv'd to keep her flill Piqued and prevent it, tho* it be only to Ga llhim. Sir Charles, that is not fair to take a Privilege, that you juft now declared againft in my Lord Foppington.
La. Gra. Befide it looks fo Affe&ed to Whifper, when every Body gueffes the Secret. L<Mo. Ha! ha/ haf
Li.Bet. O! Madam, your Pardon in Particular: But'tispoflibleyou may t be niittaken: The Secrets of People that have any Regard to their Aclions are not fo foon Gu^fs'dp as theirs that have made a Confident
The Garelefs Husband. 43
ha! ha!
La. Gra. ACoquete in her affected Airs of Difdain to a Revolted Lover, I'm afraid muft exceed your Ladymip in Prudence, not to let the Worldfee at the fame time fhe'd give her Eyes to make her Peace with him : ha I ha /
I,. Mo. Ha! ha! ha I
L.i. Bet. 'Twou'd be a Mortification indeed, if it were in the Power of a Fading Widow's Charms to prevent it $ and the Man muft be Mi- ferably reduc'd fure, that cou'd bare to live Buried in Woollen, or take up with the Motherly Comforts of a Swan-ikin Petticoat. Ha! ha/
l_.Fop. Ha/ ha/ ha!
La. Gra. Widows, it feems, are not fo fqueamifh to their Intereft, they know their own Minds, and take the Man they like, tho' it hap- pens to be one, that a Froward vain Girl has difoblig'd, and is Pining to be Friends with.
l^.Mo. Nay, tho' it happens to be one, that confefles he once was fond of a piece of Folly, and afterwards aiham'd on't.
La. Bet. Nay, my Lord, there's no ftanding againft two of you.
La. Bet. As you pleafe, my Lord.
lu.Fop. Ha/ ha! ha/ Allons^ ToittdeBon, Jouesmilor.
Mo. O Pardon me, Sir, I fhall never think my felf in any thing a Match for the Lady.
Fop. To you, Madam.
La. Bet. That's much, my Lord, when the World knows you have been fo many Years teazing me to play the Fool with you.
Fop. Ah / Bienjwe.
Mo. At that Game I confefs your Ladymip has chofen a much properer Perfon to improve your Hand with.
Fop. Tome, Madam, My Lord, I prefume whoever the Lady thinks fit to play the Fool with, will at leaft be able to give as much Envy as the Wife Perfon that had not wit enough to keep well with her when he was fo.
La. Gra. O/ my Lord / Both Parties muft needs be greatly happy, for I dare fwear neither will have any Rivals to difturb 'em.
La. Bet. None that will difturb em, I dare fwear.
L.Fop. Ha/ ha/ ha/ J,i G 2 I
44 The Carelefs Husband.
' L.MO, 7
La.G/v*. > Ha/ ha/ ha/
La. /to. S
Sir Cba. I don't know, Gentlefolks ~- but you are all in extream good Humour methinks, I hope there's none of it Affected.
La. Ea. I ihou'd be loath to anfwer for any but my Ld Foppington.^Afide.
La. Ea. Mine is not, I'll fwear.
La. Gra. Mine's fmcere, depend upon't.
La. Ea. Well, good People, I am mighty glad to hear it. You have all perform'd cxtreamly well : but if you pleafe you fhali ev'n give over your Wit now, while it is urell.
La. Bet. [.To her f elf. ~] Now I fee his Humour I'll Hand it out, if I were fure to die for't.
Sir Cha. You Ihou'd not have proceeded fo far with my Lord Fop* f'mgton, after what I had told you. [^AJtdeto Lady Betty.
^La. Bet. Pray, Sir Charles, give me leave to underhand my feif a little.
Sir Cha. Your Pardon, Madam, I thought a right underftanding wou'd have been for both your Interefts, and Reputation.
La. Bet. For his perhaps.
Sir Cha. Nay then, Madam, it's time forme to take care of my Friend.
La. Bet. I never in the leaft doubted your Friendfhip to him in any thing that was to mew your felf my Enemy.
Sir Cha. Since I fee, Madam, you have fo ungrateful a fence of my Lord More loves Merit, and my Service, I lhall never be afham'd of ufing my Power henceforth to keep him intirely out of your Ladyfhip's.
_Goesfrom her.
La. Bet. Was ever any thing fo Infolent, I cou'd find in my Heart to run the hazard of a downright Compliance, if it were only to con- vince him, that my Power, perhaps, is not inferior to His.
ITo her felf.
La. Ea. My Lord Foppington, I think you generally lead the Com- pany upon thefe Occafions. Pray will you think of fome Prettier fort of Diverfion for us, than Parties and Whifpers.
L.Fop. What fay you., Ladies, fhall we flep and fee what's done at the Haifa-Table.
La. Bet. Withal my Heart, LadyE*/Jr
La. Ea. I think 'tis the beft thing we can do, and becaufe we won't
part to Night, you fhall ail Sup where you Din'd What fay you,
my Lord ?
The Carelefs Husband. 45
//. Mt. Your Ladyfhip may be fure of me, Madam.
La.Ea.' Then pray let's change Parties a little. My Lord Popping- ton, you mall Squire me.
JLFop. O! you do me Honour, Madam.
La. Bet. My Lord Morelove,ipray let me fpeak with you.
L.Mo. Me, Madam ?
La. Bet. If you pleafe my Lord.
L.Mo. Ha! that Look mot through me! what can this mean? _Afule,
La. Bet. This is no proper Place to tell you what it is : But there is one thing I'd fain be truly anfwer'd in . I fuppofe you'll be at my Lady Eaffs by an by ^ and if you'll give me leave there
La. Bet. That's all, my Lord.
La. Bet. If your Lordfhip dare venture with me.
L.Mo. O! Madam! [Taking her Hand.'] How my Heart Dances, what heavenly Mufick's in her voice, when foftned into kindnefs. [Afide -
La. Bet. Ha ! his Hand trembles Sir Charles may be miftaken.
La.Gra. No, my Lord, we'll follow youflay a little [To Sir Cha
Sir Cha. I thought your Ladimip deflgri'dto follow 5 em.
L.Gra. Perhaps I'd fpeak with you.
Sir Cha. But, Madam, confider we fhall certainly be obferv'd.
L.Gra. Lord, Sir/ If you think it fucha Favour. [Ex. baftily
Sir Cba. Is {he gone? let her go, &c. C Exit Singing
The Scene continues.
Enter Srr Charles and Lord Morelove.
Sir Cba. ^.Qme a little this way - my Lady Graveairs had an Eye VJ upon me, as I ftole oflF, and I'm apprehenfive will make ufe of any opportunity to talk with me.
L.Mo. O ! we are pretty fafe here well ! you were fpeaking tfLa.Betty.
Sir Cba. Ay my Lord, - - I fay, notwithftanding all this fudden
change of her Behaviour, I wou'd not have you yet be too fecure of
her: For, between you and I, fmce, as I told you, I have profefsd my
feif an open Enemy to her Power with You, tis not impo$ble but this
new mans
46 T/}e Carelefs Husband.
Air of good Humour may very much proceed from a little Wo- m s Pride, of convincing Me you are not yet Out of her Power. ^ LMo Not unlikely: But ftill can we make no advantage of it?
Sir Cha. That's what I have been thinking of look you-
Death ! my Lady Greveairs !
L ^h Hah I She will have Audience. I find.
Sir -Cba. There's no avoiding her The Truth is, I have ow'd her
a little Good Nature a great while, - I fee. there is but. one way ,pf getting rid of her - - I muft ev'n appoint her a Day of Payment at laft. If you'll ftep into my Lodgings, my Lord, 111 juft give her an Anfwer and be with you in 'a Moment.
Enter L. Graveairs on the, other fide. L.Gra. $\rCharles
Sir Cba. Come, come, no more of thefe Reproachful Looks, you'll find, Madam, I have deferv'd better of you than your Jealoufy imagines
Is it a Fault to be tender of your Reputation? fie, fie, -This
; may be a proper time to Talk, and. of my Contriving too, you fee I juft now (hook off ray-J-ord Morelove en purpofe. La. Gra. May 1 believe you >
Sir Cba. Still doubting my Fidelity, and miftaking my Discretion for want of Good Nature.
La.Gra. Don't think me Troublefome-, For I confefs 'tis Death
to think of parting with you: Since the World fees, for you I have negleded Friends and Reputation, have flood the little Infults of Dif- daihful Prudes, that envy'd me perhaps your Fricndihip 3 have born the Freezing Looks of Near and General Acquaintance - Since this is fo, don't let 'em Ridicule me too, and fay my Foolifh Vanity undid me 5 don't let 'em point at me as a Caft Miftrels.
Sir Cba. You Wrong me to fuppofe the Thought 5 you'll have better of me when we meet : When mail you be at leifure ?
L.Gra. I confefs, I wou'd fee you once again, if what I have more to fay prove InefFedual, perhaps it may convince me then, 'tis my In-
tereft to part with you Can you come to Night ?
Sir Cba. You know we have Company, and I'm airaid they'll ftay too late: Can't it be before Supper > What's a Clock now> L.Gra. It's almoft Six. Sir Cba. -At Seven then be fure of me ? till when, I'd have you go
back to the Ladies to avoid Sufpicion, and about that time Have
the Vapours.
La. Gra. May I depend upon you ? [_Exit La. Gra.
Sir Cba. Depend on every thing A very Troublefome Bufinefs
This
The Carelefs Husband. 4y :
This fend me once fairly rid on't -- - if ever I'm caught in an Ho- nourable Affair again/ A Debt now, that a little ready Civility,
and away, would fatisfie, a Man might Bear with ? hut to have a Rent-Charge upon ones good Nature, with an unconfcionble long Scroll of Arrears too, that wou'd eat out the Profits of the beft Eftate
inChriftendom ah! Intolerable/ Well! I'll ev'n to my Lord, and
ihake off the Thoughts on't. [Exit.
Enter Lady Betty, and Lady Eafy.
La.Bett. I obferve, my Dear, you have Ufually this great Fortune at Play, it were enough to make one fufped your good luck with an, Husband.
La.Ea. Truly 1 dont complain of my Fortune either way.
La. Bet. Prithee tell me, You are often advrfing me to it, are there thofe real Comfortable Advantages in Marriage, that our Old Aunts, and Grand-mothers wou'd perfuade us of?
La. Ea. Upon my word, if I had the Worft Husband in the World^ I fhou'd (till think fo.
La. Bet. Ay, but then the Hazard of Having a good one, my Dear, ^ La.Ea. You may have a Good one, I dare fay, if you don't give Airs till you fpoil him.
La. Bet. Can there be the fame, Dear, full Delight in giving Eafe, as Pain? O ! my Dear, the Thought of Parting with ones Power is. In- fupportable!
La.Ea. And the keeping it,, till it dwindles into no Power at all, is moft Rufully Foolifh.
La. Bet. But ftill to marry before Ones Heartily in love
La. Ea. Is not half fo Formidable a Calamity but if I have any Eyes, my Dear, you'll run no great Hazard of that, in Venturing upon my Lord Morelove ~ You don't know, perhaps, that within this half hour, the tone of your voice is ftrangely foften'd to him, ha ! ha ! ha ( ha I
La. Bet. My Dear, you are pofitively, one or other, the moft Cenfo- rious Creature in the World? and fo, I fee, 'its in vain to talk with you 'Pray' will you go back to the Company.
La.Ea. Ah/ Poor Lady Betty
La. Bet. Pfhah/ [Exeunt*
The Scene Changes to Sir Charles'* Lofoinvs,
cV d> O
Enter >Sir Charles and Lord Mordove^
Sir Cba. That's what I confider'd : For Now the more you throw your feif into her Power, the more I fliall be able to Fores her into yours,
40 The Carelefs Husband.
L.Mo. After ail (begging the Ladies Pardon) Your Fine Women, like Bullies, are only flout where they know their Men : A Man of an Honed Courage -may fright 'em, into any thing/ Well, I am fully Initru&ed, and will about it Inftaritly .Wont you go along with me>
Sir Cba. That may not be fo Proper? befide I have a little Bufinefs upon my Hands.
L.Mo. O! your Servant, Sir- Good by to you .you fhan't ftir.
Sir Cba. My Lord, your Servant- Qvz"rL. Morelove.
So ! Now to difpofe of my felf, till 'tis time to think of my Lady Graveairs Umh ! I have no great Maw to that Bufinefs, methiriks
1 don't find my felf, in Humour Enough to come up to the Civil
things, that are ufually expeded in the making up of an Old Quarrel
[Edging crojjfs the Stage.'} There goes a Warmer Temptation
"by half: Ha/ into my Wives Bedchamber too I queftion if the Jade
Jias any great Bufinefe there $ I have a great Fancy ihe has only a mind to be taking the Opportunity of no Body's being at Home, to make her Peace with me let me fee ay, I mall have time enough to go to
her Ladymip afterwards Befide I want a little Sleep, I find -Your
Young Fops may talk of their Women of Quality but, to me now,
there's a ftrange Agreeable Convenience in a Creature one is not O- blig'd to fay much to upon tJ^efe Occafions. Going.
Enter Edging.
Edg. Did you call me, Sir.
Sir Cba. Hah! all's Right [/-j Yes, Madam, I did call you
Edg. What wou'd you pleafe to have, Sir > [ He fits down.
Sir -Cba. Have/ why, I wou'd have you grow a Good Girl and know when you are well Us'd, Huffy.
Edg. Sir, I don't Complain of any thing, not I.
-Sir Cba. Well don't be Uneafy 1 am not Angry with you Now
Come and Kifs me.
Edg. Lard Sir
Sir Cba. Don't be a Fool now come hither.
SirCfe. No Wry Faces fo fit down. I w?5i5
look Grave neither let me fee you fmile, you Ta<3e you
5/> Cha. Ah, you melting Rogue /
Jnltl ^ m % don '5yube at your Tricks Now Lard ! cant you
ftill and talk with one? I am fure there's ten times more Love in
that and fifty times the Satisfaction, People may fay what they will.
Cha. Well / nowyou re Good, you fhall have your own way,-
1 -I am
The Carclefs Husband. 49
I am going to lye down in the Next Room ^ and, fince you love a little Chat, come and throw my Night-Gown over me, and you (hall talk
me to deep. [ Exit Sir Charles.
Edg. Ye?, Sir forall his way, I fee he likes me (till. [Exit after him.
The Scene Changes to the Teerrace.
Enter Lady Betty, Lady Eafy, and Lord Morel ove.
Mo. Nay, Madam, there you are too fevere upon him $ for Bating now and then a little Vanity, my Lord Foppington does not want Wit fometimes to make him a very Tolerable Woman's Man. La. Bet. But fuch Eternal Vanity grows Tirefome, La. Ea. Come, if he were not fo loofe in his Morals, Vanity me- thinks might eafily be excus'd confidering how much 'tis in Fafhion : For 'pray' Obferve what's half the Converfation of moft of the Fine Young People about Town, but a perpetual Affectation of appearing foremoft in the Knowledge of Manners, New Modes, and Scandal 3 and in that I don't fee any body comes up to him.
Mo. Nor I indeed and here he comes Tray', Madam,
let's have a little more of him:, no Body (hews him to more Advantage than your Ladyfhip.
La. Bet. Nay, with all my Heart, you'll fecond me, my Lord,
La, Ea. Engaging upon Parties, my Lord.
_Afide -, and fnnlingto L^Morelove. Enter Lord Foppington.
Fop. So, Ladies ! What's the Affair Now. La. Bet. Why you were, my Lord, I was allowing you a Great many Good Qualities } but Lady Eafy fays, you are a perfed: Hypocrite^ and that whatever Airs you give your felf to the Women, (he's Confi- dent you value no Woman in the World Equal to your own Lady.
Fop. You fee, Madam, how I am fcandaliz'd upon your Accouat : But it's fo Natural for a Prude to be Malicious, when 'a Man endea- vours to be well with any Body but her felf 5 did you never obferve Ihe was Piqu'd at that before > ha ! ha !
La. Bet . I'll fwear you are a Provoking Creature.
La. Bet. Ha/ ha/ ha/
Man's likely to take a World of Pains in an Employment, where he can't be turn d out for his Idlenefs.
La. Bet. I vow, my Lord, that's vaftly Generous to all the Fine
H Women '
50 The Cardefs Husband.
Women 5 you are for giving 'em a Defpotick Power irr Love, T fee, to Reward and Punim, as they think fit.
L.Fop. Ha/ ha/ Right, Madam, what fignifies Beauty without Pov/er.<? And a, Fine Woman when (he's Married makes as Ridiculous a Figure as a Beaten General marching out of a Garifon.
La. Ea. I'm Afraid, Lady Betty, the greateft Danger in your Ufe of tower, wou'd be from a too Heedlefs Liberality :, you wou d more mind the Man, than his Merit.
<V/e Envy, is a Pleafure inexpreflible. [ To La. Bet.
" La. Bet. Ha/ ha/ ha!
La. Ea. Does not me mew him well, my Lord > [_ J//<& ta L. Mo.
to think I ever was uneafte at him. C To La. Eafy.
La.Ea. O not at all, my Lord, you are, always good Company, when you Pleafe $ Not but in fome things, indeed, you are apt to be Jike other Fine Gentlemen, a little too loofe in your Principles.
La. Ea. O Fy, my Lord, you ought not to go for their fakes at all. And I wonder, you that are for being fuch a Good Hufband of your Vertues, are not afraid of bringing your Prudence into a Lampoon or a Play.
La. Bet. Lampoons and Plays, Madam, are only things to be laugh'd at.
'L.Mo. Plays now indeed one need not be fo much afraid of, for fince the late mort-fighted View of 'em , Vice may go on and Profper, the Stage dares hardly mew a Vicious Perfon fpeaking like himfelf, for fear of being call'd Prophane for Expofing him.
La. Ea. 'Tis Hard indeed, when People won't Diftinguifh between what's meant for Contempt, and what for Example.
L.Fop. Odfo/ Ladies, the Court's coming home, I fee, mall not we go make our Bows?
Bet. O / by all means.
Ea. Lady Betty I muft leave you: For Tin obliged to write Let- ters, and I know you won't give me Time after Supper..
Bet. Well, my Dear, I'll make a mort Vifit and be with you. Pray what's become of my Lady Graveairs ? [ Exit Lady Eafy.
Mo.\ I believe (he's gone home, Madam, me feern d not to be very well.
Jfr*.
The Garelefs Husband. 5 r
L t Fop. And where's Sir Charles, my Lord >
.L. Mo. I left him at his own Lodgings.
La. Bfft. He's upon fome Ramble I'm afraid.
Tl?e Scene changes to Sir Charles'* Lodgings.
Enter Lady Eafy, and a Servant.
\La. Ea. Is your Mailer come home ?
Serv. Yes, Madam.
La.k Where is he >
Serv, I believe, Madam, he's laid down to Skep.
La.>ptf. Where's Edging, Bid her get me fome Wax and Paper
IV Scene Opens, and Dif covers Sir Charles 'toitbottt bis Ter'ntig, and Edging by him, both afleep in two Eofy- Chairs.
And then Enter Lady Eafy, who flans and trembles ^ fome time unable
to Speak.
LaMa. Ha!
-Proteft me Virtue ! Patience Reafon ! Teach me to Bear this Killing light, or let Me think my Dreaming Senfes are Deceived/ For fure a Sight like This^ might raife the Arm Of Duty, even to the Breaft of Love ! At leaft I'll throw this Vizor of my Patience off : . Now wake him in his Guilt, And Barefac d Front him with my Wrongs.
I'll talk to him till he Blufhes, nay, till he
Frowns on me, perhaps, and then
I'm loft again The Eafe of a Few Tears
Is all that's left to me
And Duty too forbids me to Infult,
Where I have vow'd Obedience Perhaps
The Fault's in me, and Nature has not Form'd Me with the Thoufand little Requifites
That Warms the Heart to Love
Somewhere there is a Fault
But Heav'n beft knows what Both of us deferve : Ha! Bare-headed, and in fo found a Sleep/
H a Who
5 2 The Carelefs Husband.
Who knows, while thus Expos'd to the unwholfome Air But Heav'n offended may o'ertake his Crime, and in fome languifhing Diftemper, leave him a fevere Example of his violated Laws - For- bid it Mercy, and forbid it Love. This may prevent it. Takes her Steinkirk from her flck, and lays it gently over bis He ad. And if he fhou'd wake offended at my too Bufy Care, let my Heartbreak- ing Patience, Duty and my Fond Affeftion plead my Pardon. [Exit* lifter fee has been out fome time ', a Bell 'rings $ at -which the Maid waking jlarts, and firs Sir Charles*
Edg. Oh!
Sir Cba. How now, what's the Matter?
Edg. O ! Blefs my Soul, my Lady's come home.
Sir Cba. Go, go, then [Runs to the Glafs. [Ectt rings.
Edg. Olud! My Head's in fuch a Condition too lam coming, Madam - O lud ! here's no Powder neither Here Madam. Exit.
Sir Cba. How now ! [ Feeling the Steinkirk upon hi* Head. ] What's this ? How came it here ? Did not I fee my Wife wear this to Day ? Death ! fhe can't have been here fure! It cou'd not be Jealoufie that Brought her home - for my coining was Accidental - fo too, I fear, might hers. How carelefs have I been? - Not to fecure the Door neither Twas Foolifh - It muft be fo/ She certainly has feen me here Sleeping with her Woman - If fo, How low an Hypo- crite to her muft that fight have Prov'd me? the thought has made me Defpicable ev'n to my felf - How mean a Vice is Lying? and how often have thefe Empty Pleafures lull'd my Honour and my Confcience to a Lethargy, while I grofly have abus'd her, Poorly Skulking behind a thoufandFalfhoods? -Now I refled, this has not been the n*rft of her Difcoveries -- How Contemptible a Figure muft I have made to her? - A Crowd of Recollefted Circumftances confirm me now, fhe has been long acquainted with my Follies, and yet with what amazing Prudence has fhe born the fecret Pangs of Injur'd Love, and wore an everlafting Smile tome? This asks a little Thinking - fomething mould be done - I'll fee her Inftantly, and be refolv'd from her Be- haviour.
The Scene Changes to another fyom. '*
Enter Lady Eafy, and Edging. La. Fa. Where have you been, Edging!
Edg. Been, Madam! I -I- 1- came as foon as I heard you Rine Madam.
^ La. Ea. How Guilt confounds her but fhe's below my Thought Fetch my laft new Scarf hither - I have a Mind to alter it a litde
9 ;>
The Carelefs Husband.
Edg. Yes Madam -- I fee fhe does not fufped: anything. La. Ea. ^Sitting down'] Heigh ho! - I had forgot-- but I'm unfit for Writing now. Twas an hard Conflift - yet it's a Joy to think it over: Afecret Pride, to tell my Heart ray Conduft has been Juft -- How low are Vicious Minds, that Offer Injuries, how much fuperior Innocence that Bears em > - Still there's a Pleafure ev'n in the Melancholy of a Qpiet Confcience - Away my Tears, it is not yet Impoffible : For while his Humane Nature is not quite fhook off, I ought not to Defpair.
Re-enter Edging, with a Scarf. Edg. Meres the Scarf, Madam,
La. Ea. So, fit down there, and, let me fee - here Rip ofr all that Silver.
Edg. Indeed, 1 always thought it wou'd become your Ladyfhip bet- ter without it, but now fuppofe, Madam, you carri'd another Row of Gold round thofe Scollops, and then you take and lay this Silver Plain all along the Gathers, and -your Ladyfliip will perfectly fee, it will give the Thing Ten Thoufand times another Air.
La. Ea. Prithee don't be Impertinent, do as I bid you. Edg. Nay, Madam, with all my Heart, your Ladyihip may do as- you pleafe.
La. Ea. This Creature grows fo Confident^ and I dare not Part with her, left he ftiou'd think it Jealoufy. ^.Afide*
Enter Sir Charles.
'La. Bet. So, my Dear, what, at Work! How are you employ 'd, pray? La. Ea. I was thinking to alter this Ssarf here. Sir Cha. What's amifs} methinks its very pretty. Edg. Yes, Sir, it's pretty enough- for that Matter - hut my Lady had a Mind it fhou'd be Proper too.: Sir Cha. Indeed/
La. Ea. I Fancy Plain Gold and Black wou'd become me better, SiiCha. That's a Grave Thought, my Dear. Edg. O Dear Sir, not at all, my Lady's much in the Right, I am fure, as it is, it's fit for nothing but a Girl. Sir Cha. Leave the Room. Edg. Lard Sir/ Ican'tftir, I mufl flay to - Sir Cha. Go - \l-Angrlly.
Edg. {Throwing down the Scarf Haftity, and Crfmg aftde ~] If ever I fpeak to him again I'll be Burti'd. [ Exit Edging;
Sir Cha. Sit ftill, my Dear, -- I came to talk with you, and which you well may wonder at $ what I have to fay is of Importance too, but 'tis in order to my Hereafter always talking Kindly to you..
La, 1+
^ The Carekfs Husband.
La. Ea. Your Words were never Difobliging, nor can I charge 'you with a Look that ever had the Appearance of Unkind.
Sir Cba. The Perpetual Spring of your Good Humour lets me draw- no Merit from what I- hare Appear 'd to-be, which makes ; iRe Curious now to know your Thoughs of what I really am: And never having ask'd you this' before it puzzles me 5 nor can I f that ftrange fcfegji- sconce -^confiderd) Reconcile to Reafon-your firit Thoughts, of ventur ring upon Marriage with me. j ,
La. Ea. I never thought it fuch an Hazard.
Sir Cba. How cou'd a Woman of your Reftraint in Principles, Se- datenefs, Senfe, and Tender Difpofition 1 , Propofe to fee && Happy Life with.one (nowTrefkcl) that hardly took an Hours Pains, ev'mbefore Marriage, to appear but what I am, A loofe Unheeding Wretch, Ab- fent in all I do, Civil, and as often Rude without defign, Unfeafonably Thoughtful, Eafy to a Fault, and in my Beft of Praife but Carelefly Good Natur d^ How/hall I reconcile your Temper with having made foftrange a Choice?
La. Ea. Your owii Words may Anfwer you- You having never feem'd to be, but what you really were^ and through that carelefnefs of Temper, there ftill mone forth to me an Undefigning Honefiy, I always Doubted of in fmoother Faces: Thus while I faw you tookleafl Pains to win me, Y'ou pleased, and Woed me moil: Nay, I have often thought that fuch a Temper cou'd never be Deliberately Unkind : Or attheworfl, I knew, that Errors from want of Thinking might be Boni} at leaft, when Probably one Moment's ferious Thought wou'd End 'em: Thefeweremy worft of Fears, and Thefe when weigh'd by Growing Love againft my folid Hopes were Nothing.
Sir Cba. My Dear, your Underftanding flarfles me, and juftly calls my own in Queftion : I Blum to think I've worn fo bright a Jewel in my Bofom, and till this Hour, have fcarce been Curious once to look upon itsLuftre.
La. Ea. Youfet too high a Value on the common Qualities of an Eafy Wife.
Sir Cba. Virtues, like Benefits, are Double, when Conceal'd : And f confefs I yet fufpeft you of an Higher Value far, than I have fpoke you.
La. Ea. I understand you not.
Sir Cba. I'll fpeak more Plainly to you Be free, and tell me
n here did ypti leave this Handkerchief? La.Ea. Hah/
Sir Cba. What is't you ftart at? You hear the Queftion. La. Ea. What {hall I fay ? my Fears confound me.
Sir
The Carclcfs Husband.
Sir Cba. Be not Concerned, my Dear, be Eafy in the T ;
, La. Ea. I cannot fpeak and f cou'd wiftr you'd not Oblige me to
it - 'tis the only Thing I ever yet Refused You and tho' I y
a Reafon for my Will let me not Anfwer You.
Sir Cba. Your Will then fie a Reafon, and fince I fee you arc fo Generoufly Tender of Reproaching me, 'tis fit I fhou'd be Eafy in nr r Gratitude,, and make what ought to be my Shame, My Joy 5 let me therefore Pleas d to tell you Now, your Wondrous Conduct has wak'd me to a fenfe of your Difquiet Pad, and Refolution never to Difturb it more ~- And (not that I offer it as a Merit, but vet in Blind Com- pliance to my will ) let me Beg you wou'd Immediately Qifcharge your Woman.
r La. Ea. Alas! I think not of her O, mr Dear, Diffract me not
with this Excefs of Goodnefs. [ Weeping. ..
it]. 1 fee you're in Pain to give me this Confufion Come I will
not Shock your Softnefs, by ' my untimely Blufh for what is pair, but rather footh you to a Pleafure at my fenfe of Joy for my Recovered Happinefs to come : Give then to my new-born Love, what Name you Pleafe, it cannot, fhall not be too Kind : O / it cannot be too foft for
what my Soul f wells up with Emulation to deferve Receive me
then Inure at laft. and take what yet no Woman ever Truly Had, my Conquer'd Heart.
La. Ea. O. the foft Treafure/ O the Dear Reward of Long Defiring
Lox^e Now I amBleft indeed to fee you Kind without th'Expence
of Pain in being fo, to make you mine with Eafinefs Thus! thus to have you mine is fomething more than Happinefs, 'tis Double Life, and Madnefs of Abounding Joy. But 'twas a Pain Intolerable to give you a Confufion.
Sir Cba. O thou Engaging Virtue ! But I'm too flow in doing Juftice to thy Love : I know thy foftnefs will refufe me i but remember I in- lift upon it let thy Woman be Difcharg'd this Minute.
La. Ea. No, my Dear, think me not fo low in Faith, to fear that, after what you've faid, 'twill ever be in her Power to do me future In- jury : when I can conveniently Provide for her I'll' think on't: But to Difcharge her Now might let ner Guefs at theOccafion^ and methinks I wou'd have all our Differences, li'ke our Endearments, be Equally a Secret to our Servants.
Sir Cba. Still my Superior every way be it .as you have better- thought well, my Dear, now I'll confefs a thing that was not in
your Power to Accufe me of 5 to be fhort, I own this Creature is not the only one I have been to Blame with,
J.,2. F^
A
6 The Carelefs Husband.
Conftancy in Errors might have been Fatal to me. Sir Cha. What is't you know, my Dear? [_Surprizd.
La. Ea. come v lam not afraid to accufe you now my Lady Graveairs -- Your Carlefnefs, my Dear, let all the World know it,, and it OU d have been Hard indeed, had it been only to me a Secret. Sir Cha. My Dear, 111 ask no more Queftions, for fear of being more Ridiculous: I do confefs I thought my Difcretion there had been a Mafterpiece -- How Contemptible muft I have look'd all this while? La. Ea. You man't fay fo.
Sir Cha. Well, to let you fee I had fome Shame, as well as Nature in me, I had writ this to my Lady Graveairs, upon my firft difcovering that you knew I had wrong'd you ? Read it.
.La.Ea. [Reads'] ""Something has happen'd that Prevents the " Vifit I intended you 5 and I could gladly with, " You never wou'd Reproach me, if T tell you, " 'tis utterly Inconvenient that I fhou'd ever " fee you more.
This indeed was more than I had Merited.
Enter a Servant.
Sir Cha. Who's there? Here-Step with this to my Lady Graveairs. [_ Seals the Letter, and gives it to the Servant. Serv. Yes, Sir - -Madam, my Lady Bettys come. La. Ea. I'll wait on her.
Sir Cha. My dear, I'm thinking there may be other things my Neg- ligence may have wrong'd you in $ but be aflur'd, as I difcover'em, all (hall 'be Corrected : Is there any Part or Circumftance in your Fortune that I can change, or yet make Eafier to you >
La. Ea. None my Dear, your Good Nature never ftinted me in that 5 and now, raetrn'nks I have lefs Occafion there than ever.
Re-tnter Servant.
Serv. Sir, my Lord Moreloves come.
Sir Cha. I am coming. - 1 think I told you of the Defign we had laid againft Lady Betty.
La.Ea. You did, and Ifhou'd be pleas'd to be my felf concern'd in it.
Sir Cha. I believe we may Employ you : I know he waits me with
Impatience. But, my Dear, won't you think me taftlefs to the Joy
you've given me, to fufter at this time any Concern but You t'employ.
my Thoughts.
La. Ed- Sea fon s muft be Obey 'd 5 and fince I know your Friends Hap- pinefs Depending I coud not tafle my own moud you neglecl: it. SirCba. Thou Eafy Sweetnefs- O! what a waft on thy Neg-
' lecled
The Car clefs Husband. c 7
Negle&ed Love, has my Unthinking Brain committed: But 1 ime and Future Thrift of Tendernefs fhall yet repair it all: The Hours wiiJ come when this foft Gliding Stream that IVells my Heart, unm:eiu f > ted (hall Renew its Courfe,
And like the Ocean after Ebb, (hall move With Conftant Forre of Due Returning Love. Exeunt.
The Scene Changes to another fyom, And then Re-enter Lady Eafy and Lady Betty. La. Bet. You'vt been in Tears my Dear, and yet you look Pleas'd too. La. En. You'll Pardon me, if I can't yet let you'into Circumftances: But be fatisfied, Sir Charles has made me Happy ev'n to a Pain of Joy. La. Bet. Indeed I am truly Glad of it : tho' 1 am forry to find that anyone who has Generbfity enough to do you Juftice fhou'd unprovok'd be fo great an Enemy to me. La. Erf. Sir Charles your Enemy/
La. Bet. My Dear you'll Pardon me, if I always thought him fo but now I am convinc'd of it.
La. /. In what 'Pray? I can't think you 11 find him fo. La. Bet. O/ Madam, it has been his whole Bufmefs of late to make an utter Breach between my Lord Morelove and me.
La. Ea. That may be owing to your Ufage of my Lord, perhaps he thought it wou'd not Difoblige you : I am Confident you are Miftaken in him.
La. Bet. O/ I don't ufe to-be out in things of this Nature, I can fee well Enough: But I lhall be Able to tell you more when I have talkt with my Lord, ha / ha/ ha /
La. Erf. Here he cornes^ and becaufe you (hall Talk with him-^-
No Excufes- for Pofitively I will leave you together.
La. Bet. Indeed, my Dear, 1 defire you wou'd ftay then $ for, I know
you think now, that 1 have a Mind to to
La Erf. To to --ha! ha! ha! La. Bet. Well! remember This.
Enter Lord Morelove.
L.MG. Perhaps Madam, in Friendlhip to vou, me thinks Imay have deferv'd the Coldnefs you of late have ihewn me ^ and was willing to give you this Opportunity to Convince me, you have not done it with- out Juft Grounds and Reafon.
The Carelefs Husband.
' I i B't How Hanfomely does he Reproach me> But I can't bear
That he ftou'd think I know it -_Afide. ~\ My Lord whatever has
F-iiVd between vpu and me, I dare fwear that cou'd not be her Thought at this time : For when two People have appear'd prpfefs'd Enemies, hie can't but think one will as little care to give, as t'other to receive a Tuftification of their Actions.
My Lord, I mail be very free with you I confefs I do now I have not a greater Enemy in the World.
... If having long lov'd you, to my own Difquiet, be Injurious, I am contented then to ftand the foremoft of your Enemies.
La,lte. O, my Lord, there's no great Fear of your being my Ene- my that way, I dare fay
'L. Mo. There is no other way my Heart can Bear to Offend you Now, and I forefee in that it will perfift to my Undoing.
La. Bet. Fy, fy, my Lord, we know where your heart is well Enough.
L.A/tf. My Condud has indeed Deferv'd this Scorn 3 and therefore 'tis but Juft Ifhou'd fubmit to your Refentment, and beg, tho I'm atfur'd i n va in , for Pardon. C Kneels.
Enter Sir Charles.
Sir Cba. How, my Lord / Q L. Mo. rifer.
La.Jto. Ha! he here? This was Unlucky. _AJifa.
L.M0. O Pity my Confufion/ [ To La. Betty.
Sir Cba. I am forry to fee you can fo foon forget your felf} me- thinks the Infults you 'have born from that Ladv, by this Time, (hou'd have warn'd you into a Difguft of her Regardlefs Principles.
La. Bet. My Lord I beg you wou'd refent this thing no farther : An Injury like this is better Punifht with our contempt 3 .Apparent Malice only fhou'd be laught at -
Sir Cba. Ha! ha! the Old Recourfe, Offers of any Hopes to delude him from his Refentment 5 and then as the Grand Monarch did with Cavalier^ you are fure to keep your Word with him.
La. Bet. Sir Cbarles, to let you know how far I am above your lit- tle Spieen, My Lord, your Hand from this Hour
SirOw. Tfhah/ Tihah/ All Defign! all Pique / meer Artifice, and Difappointed Woman.
L?.ife;,Look yoy,Sir 3 not that I doubt my Lord's opinion of me^ yet-
Sir. Cba.
The Carelefs Husland.
Sir Cha. Look you, Madam, in iliort your word has been too oft-en taken to let you make up Quarrels, as you ufed to do with a foft Look, and a fair Promifeyou never Intended to Keep.
La. Bet. Was ever fuch an Infolence, he won't give me leave to (peak.
L.'Mo. Sir Charles!
La. Bet. No 'pray', my Lord, have Patience 5 and fince his Mai k<- feems to grow Particular, I dare his worft, and urge him to the Proof on't: Tray', Sir, wherein can you charge ms with Breach of Promife to my Lord >
Sir Cha. 'Death, you won't deny it > How often to piece up a Qua?- rel, have you Appointed him to Vifit you alone $ and tho' you have promis'd to fee no other Company the whole Day, when he has come, he has found vou among the laugh of NoifyFops, Coquettes, and Cox- combs, DifTolutely Gay, while your Full Eyes ran o'er with Tranfport of their Flattery, and your own vain Power of pleafing? How often, I fay, have you been known to throw away at leaft Four Hours of your Good Humour upon fuch Wretches $ and the Minute they were gone, grew only Dull to him, funk into a Diftaftful Spleen, complain'd you had talk'd your felf into the Head-ach, and then indulg'd upon the Dear Delight of feeing him in Pain: And by that time you ftretcht, and gap'd him Heartily out of Patience, of a fudden moil importantly remember you had out-fate your Appointment with my Lady Fiddle- faddle 5 and immediately order your Coach to the Park.
La. Bet. Yet, Sir, have you done?
Sir Cha. No tho' this might ferve to mew the Nature of yofcr
Principles: But the Noble Conqueft you have Gairid at laft over De- feated Senfe of Reputation too, has made your Fame Immortal.
La. Bet. My Reputation/
Sir Cha. Ay, Madam, Your Reputation my Lord, if I advance
a Falfhood, then Refent it I fay, your Reputation 't has been
your Life's whole Pride of late to be the Common Toaft of every Pub- lick Table, Vain ev'n in the Infamous Addrelfes of a Marri'd Man, my Lord Fopptngton^ let that be reconcil'd with Reputation, I'll now ihake Hands with Shame, and Bow me to the low Contempt which you deferve from him $ not but I fuppofe you'll yet Endeavour to recover, h im ; Now you find 111 Ufage in Danger of lofing your Conqueir, 'tis Falli- ble you'll ftop at Nothing to preferve it.
La. Bet. Sir Charles [_Walks difonkrd, and be after ."; .
Sir Cha. I know your Vanity is fo Voracious, 'twill ev'n wound it felf to fted it felf 5 Offer him a Blank, perhaps, to fill up with 1 i of what Nature he Pleafes, and Part with ev'n your Pride r.kvp hiu%
I 2 La.
(To The Careless Husband.
L& Bet. Sir Cbar.l have not -deferv'd this of you. [BwJTmgintoTears. t'.Cha. Ah! True Woman, drop him a fo'ft Diffembling Tear, and then hisJultRefentnientmiift be Huilit of Courfe.
L.Mo. O, Charles! I can bear no more, thofe Tears are too Re- pfo-ichin^r.
L-CBet. My Lord Foppingtonl Is that the mighty Crime that muft Condemn me then > You know I us'd him but as a Tool of my Re fentment, which you your felf, by a Pretended Friendlhip to us Both,
moil Artfully Provok'd me to
L.Mo. Hold, I conjure you, Madam, I want not this Con vidion.
La. Bet. Send for him this Minute, and You and He (hall Both be
Witneifes of the Contempt, and Deteftation I have for any Forward'
Hopes his Vanity may have given him, or your Malice wou'd fa (innate.
Sir Cba. Death ! You wou'd as foon eat Fire, as foon part with your
Luxurious Taft of Folly, as dare to own the Half of this Before his
Face, or any one, that wou'd make you Blum to deny it to Here
comes my Wife, Now we (hall fee Ha! and my Lord Fopptngton
with her Now/ Now , we mall fee this mighty Proof of your
Sincerity Now, my Lord, you'll have a Warning fure, and"
henceforth know me for your Friend Indeed.
Enter Lady Eafy and Lord Foppington. *La.Ea. In Tears my Dear, what's the Matter! La. Bet. O, my Dear, all I told you's true: Sir Charles has (hewn himfelf ib inveterately my Enemy, that if I believ'd I deferv'd but Half his Hate, 'twou'd make me Hate my felf.
L.Fop. Hark youCbarles, 'Prithee what is this Bufinefs ?
Sir Cba.- Why yours, my Lord, for ought I know I have made
iuch a Breach betwixt 'em 1 can't promife much for the. Courage of
a Woman ; but if hers holds, I am fure it's wide enough, you may En- rtr Ten "a Breaft, my Lord.
La. Ea. Sure there muft be fome Miftake in this 5 I hope he has not f.iuue my Lord your Enemy.
La. Bet. I know not what he has done.
La, Bet.
TJ}e Carelefs Husband. 61
La. Bet. No, my Lord, fince I perceive his little Arts have not pre- vail'd upon your Good Nature to my Prejudice, I a in- bound in Grati- tude, in Duty to my felf, and to the Confellion you have made, my Lord, to acknowledge Now, I have been to Blame too.
La. Bet. He fays, I have taken Pleafure in feeing you Uneafy
I own it --but 'twas when that Uneafinefs I thought Proceeded from your Love > and if you did love 'twill not be much to Pardon it,
La. Bet. And fince the Giddy Woman's Slights 1 have (hewn you too often have been Publick, 'tis fit at laft th' Amends and Reparation ftiou'd be fa: Therefore what I offer'd to Sir Charles, I now Repeat before this Company, my Utter Deteftation of any Pad, or Future Gallantry, that has, or mall be offer'd me to your Uneaiiioels. .
L.Fop. Hah/ Par ali voila qitelque Ghofe D ''Extroiiinare. _Afide; La. Bet. As for my Lord roppington, lowe him Thanks for having been fo Friendly an Inftrument of our Reconciliation ? for tho' in the little outward Gallantry I received from him, I did not immediately truft him with my Defign in it 5 yet I have a better Opinion of his Underflanding, than to fuppofe he cou'd Miftake it.
L.Fop. lam (truck Dumb with the Deliberation of her Aifurance, and do not Pofitively remember, that the Non Cbalience of my Temper ever had fo Bright an Occafion to fhew it felf before*
La. Bel. My Lord, I hope you'll Pardon the Freedom I have taken- with you.
L.Fop. O, Madam, don't be under the Confufiori of an Apologv up- on my Account^ for in Cafes of this Nature! am never Ditappoinred, but when 1 find a Lady of the (ame Mind two hours together Madam, I have loft athoufand Fine Women in my time^ But never had the 111 Manners to be out of Humour with any one for refuting mej fince I was Born.
La. Bet. My Lord, that's a very Prudent Temper. L.Fop. Madam, to Convince you, that I am in a Uiifojerfal PC with Mankind, fince you own I have fo far Contributed t'o } our 1 [, pinefs, give me leave to have the Honour of Compleating-h, by Jr ing your Hand where yon have already offer'd up- your lnchii>uL La. Bet. My Lord, that's a Favour I can't refufe you.
62 The Carelefs Husband.
L.Fop. And (lap my Breath, if ever I was better Pleas'd fmce my firft Entrance into Human Nature.
Sir Cba. How now, my Lord/ What ! throw up your Cards before you have loft the Game?
L.Fo]>. Look you, Cbarles^ 'tis true, I diddefign to have Flai d with her alone : But he that will keep well with the Ladies, muft fometimes be content to make one at a Poole with em.- And fmce I know I muft engage her in my Turn, I don't fee any great Odds in letting him take the firft Game with her.
Sir Cba. Wifely Confider'd, my Lord.
La. Bet. And Now, Sir Charles
Sir Cba-. And Now, Madam, I'll fave you the Trouble of a long Speech $ and, in one Word, Confefs that every thing I have done in
Regard to you this Day was purely Artificial 1 faw there was no
way tctfeeure you to my Lord Morelove, but by Allarming your Pride with the Danger of loiing him : And fince the Succefs muft have by this time Convinc d you, that in Love nothing is more Ridiculous, than an over-aded Averfion 5 1 am fure you won't take it 111, if we at laft Congratulate your good Nature, by Heartily laughing at the Fright we had put you in. Ha / ha / ha !
La.Ea. Ha! ha! ha!
La. Bet. Why well, I declare it now, Ihate you worfe than ever.
Sin Cba. Ha ! ha ! ha ! and was it afraid they wou'd take its Love from it Boor Lady Betty \ ha7 ha/
La. En. MyiDear, I beg your Pardon ^ but 'tis impoflible not to laugh when ones fo heartily pleased.
La. Bet. Nay, I have deferv'd it all, that's the Truth on't but I
hope, my Lord, You were not in this Defign againft me.
more I do confefs I had my mare in't.
La. Bet. You do, my Lord! then I declare 'twas a Defign, one
or other the beft Carry 'd on, that ever I knew in my life 5 and (to
my ihame I own it ) for ought I know, the only thing that cou'd have prevail'd upon my Temper : Twas a Fooliftf Pride, that has Coft me
many a Bitter Lip to fupport it 1 wifh we don't both repent, my
Lord.
vour
The GareJefs Husband.
your Paft Condud, is, that my Lord had Conftancy, and you have try'd it.
Enter a Servant to Lord Morelove.
Serv. My Lord, Mr. Le Fevres below, and defires to know what time your Lordfhip will Pleafe to have the Mufick begin.
L.M0. Sir Cbarlesy what fay you ? will you give me leave to bring 'em Hither >
Sir.Cba. As the Ladies think fit, my Lord.
La. Bet. O / by all means, 'twill be better here, unlefs we cou'd have the Terrace to our felves.
'L.Mo. Then Pray' Defire 'em to come all hither Immediately.
Serv. Yes, my Lord. [Exit Serv.
t Enter Lady Graveairs.
SirCha. Lady Graveairs!
La. Gra. Yes/ you may well ftart / but don't fuppofe I am now come like a Poor Tame-Fool to upbraid your Guilt 3 But if I cou'd to Blaft you with a Look.
SirCba. Come, come] you yet have fenfe --- Don't Expofe your felf ? you are unhappy, and I own my felf the Caufe -- -The only Satisfaction I can offer you, is to Prptelr, No New Engagement takes me from you : But a fincere Reflection of the long Negled, and In- juries I've done the Beft of Wives ^ for whofe Amends, and only fake I now muft Part with You, and all the Inconvenient Pleafures of my Life,
La.Gfvz. Have you then fallen into the Low Contempt of Expofing me, and to your Wife too ?
Sir Cha. 'Twas Impoflible, without it, I cou'd ever be fincere in my Converfion.
La. Gra. Defpicable!
SirC&rf. Do not think it fo for my fake I know fhc'llnot re- proach vou, nor, by her Carriage, ever let the World perceive you've wrong'cl her - * my Dear.
La. Ea. Lady Graveairs, I hope you 11 Sup with us >
La. Gra. I can't refufe fo much Good Company, Madam.
S'ttCba. You fee the Word of her Refentment - in the mean time don't Endeavour to be her Friend, and lhe'11 never be your Enemy.
La. Gra. I am Unfortunate - 'tis what my Folly has deferv'd, and I fubmit to it.
La. Ea. Come, Ladies, ihall we fit,
After
The Carelefs Husband.
After the Mufick, a SONG.
SAbina with an Angel's Face, By Love Ordairidfotjoy, Seems of the Syren V Cruel Race* To Charm, and thenDejlroy:
With nil the Arts of Look andDrefi,
She Fans the Fatal Fire, Through Pride, Mtftizken oft \fnr Gracf >
-She Bids the Swain Expire.
The God of Love Enragd to fee
The Nymph Defy his Flame, , Pronoimcd this mercilefs Decree
Again/I the Haughty Dame,
Let Age with Double Speed oertake her, Let Love the Room of Pride fupply 5
And when the Lovers all for fake her, A Spotlefi Virgin let her Dye.
Sir Charles comes forward, with Lady Eafy.
Sir
in
fort fo much of Folly, Pride, Malice, Paflion, and IrrefoTute Delire that I concluded Thee but of the foremoft Rank, arid therefore fcarce worthy my Concern ^ but thou haft ftirr'd me with fo fevere a Proof
of thy Exalted Virtue, it gives me Wonder Equal to my Love If
then the Unkindly Thought of what I have been hereafter, fhou ; d in- trude upon thy growing Quiet, let this Refledion teach thee to be Eafy :
Thy Wrongs, when Greateji, Mojl thy Venue Provd, And from that Vertue Found, I Blufit, and Truly Lov\l
4
F I N I S.
