NOTE: This is the original script, as shared by the author.
Characters:
TOM A person of any age
PHIL A person of any age
AT RISE: TOM and PHIL sit in ordinary chairs on an otherwise empty stage
TOM
What are you doing?
PHIL
Waiting for something to happen.
TOM
Do you think it will?
PHIL
Does it ever?
TOM
So why are we waiting?
PHIL
What else is there to do?
TOM
It's awfully quiet.
PHIL
It's always quiet.
TOM
Everything's still.
PHIL
Everything is always still.
TOM
That's kind of nice though, isn't it? You can just be alone with your thoughts.
PHIL
I haven't had a thought in quite some time.
TOM
Not one single thought?
PHIL
What is there to have a thought about?
TOM
Maybe if we stop waiting for something to happen, something will happen.
PHIL
How do we stop waiting?
TOM
We do something.
PHIL
What is there to do?
TOM
Perhaps we should think about something happening.
PHIL
You think something might happen if we think about it?
TOM
It might. Should we try?
PHIL
I don't see the point.
TOM
I'll try.
TOM closes his/her eyes, deep in concentration. After a while, he/she reopens them. Did anything happen?
PHIL
Did you see anything happen?
TOM
No. But my eyes were closed.
PHIL
Nothing happened.
TOM
Maybe if we were in the company of others, we could all provoke something to happen.
PHIL
Who could we possibly find to be in the company of?
TOM
There must be someone. What about Joe?
PHIL
Joe hates me.
TOM
Oh. Bill?
PHIL
Bill hates you.
A pause.
TOM
Is it possible this quandary is our fault?
PHIL
No, I don't think so.
TOM
You're sure?
PHIL
Not entirely sure, no. But sure enough.
TOM
Then don't you think it at least deserves further inquiry?
PHIL
No, I don't.
Pause.
TOM
There must be something to do. Perhaps we aren't looking in the right places.
PHIL
Where is there to look?
TOM
What about what we have right here in front of us?
PHIL
What do we have in front of us?
TOM
Plenty.
PHIL
I don't see anything.
TOM
That's because you're not looking hard enough.
PHIL
You think if I look harder something will magically appear in front of me?
TOM
You're only looking with your eyes.
PHIL
Is there any other way?
TOM
Try looking with your imagination.
PHIL
I'm afraid my imagination has gone blind.
TOM
That's impossible. It's just clouded.
PHIL
And what does one do about that?
TOM
You just have to learn how to see through the haze. Let me show you. Look out there, what do you see?
PHIL
I see...nothingness.
TOM
But within the nothingness, what do you see?
PHIL
How can one see something within nothing?
TOM
There's never nothing if you use your mind.
PHIL
I think you're wrong.
TOM
What makes you think I'm wrong?
PHIL
The fact that you're wrong.
TOM
I really don't think I'm wrong.
PHIL
Nobody ever thinks they're wrong.
TOM
I'll prove to you that I'm not wrong, then. (Pointing to the chair) What is this?
PHIL
Is this part of the demonstration or did you forget what it is?
TOM
It's part of the demonstration.
PHIL
It's a chair.
TOM
Yes, if you only look at it with your eyes. But if you look at it from another angle... He/she moves behind the chair and crouches
Ah, yes...that's better.
PHIL
I don't understand.
TOM
Come here, I'll show you.
PHIL joins TOM behind the chairs and crouches.
Now, look very closely.
Silence as they both stare intently at their chairs.
Are you looking?
PHIL
My eyes are pointed at the chair, are they not?
TOM
Yes but are you really looking?
PHIL
I'm looking as much as someone with my level of disinterest possibly can.
TOM
And you don't see anything that you didn't see before? Other than the chair?
PHIL
Wait a minute...yes, yes I think I do.
TOM
What?! What do you see?
PHIL
I now see an idiot crouching behind the chair.
TOM
Ah! See, you're already seeing new things!
PHIL
This is senseless.
PHIL sits back down. TOM starts to circle the chairs, never breaking eye contact with them.
What are you doing?
TOM
If you look at these chairs from different angles, they turn into all sorts of things.
PHIL
What are they turning into?
TOM
You'll have to come look for yourself.
PHIL
I'd rather not.
TOM
Are you afraid to use your imagination?
PHIL
What?
TOM
It seems that our imaginations are all we have at our disposal. Yet you seem to have an aversion to using yours.
PHIL
I'm not averse to using it. I only use it when I think it will be of use.
TOM
You don't think it will be of use now?
PHIL
No, I don't. That chair was a chair yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that, and it will still be a chair tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. I have accepted that as irrefutable fact.
TOM
But facts aren't always facts.
PHIL
Some are. Some facts will remain what they are for eternity, and no amount of wishing or imagination will change that. For example, the world is round. This is a fact and it will always be a fact.
TOM
But there was a time when people thought the world was flat!
PHIL
Yes and they were wrong.
TOM
Precisely! Irrefutable facts are only irrefutable until someone refutes them. And it very well may have been men just like us, sitting in chairs just like these somewhere, who decided that maybe the world wasn't flat after all. Perhaps it was two men just like us, with nothing more than their imaginations to guide them. And if the very nature of the universe can be existed, why can this chair not be something other than what we think it is?
PHIL
Because the men who discovered the world wasn't flat did so with scientific observations.
TOM
Very well. Then I'll observe this chair scientifically.
PHIL
Suit yourself.
TOM studies the chair intently. PHIL watches.
Must you do that?
TOM
Do what?
PHIL
Sit there and stare intently at the same stationary object endlessly. It's depressing.
TOM
The whole world is stationary it seems.
PHIL
Not as quiet as it used to be, though.
TOM
Do you think it might rain tomorrow?
PHIL
Yes, I think it might.
TOM
Well, I suppose that's something.
END OF PLAY
