In Poland, Papa Ubu declares that he is happy, even though he was once the king of Aragon, and now he is demoted to the Captain of the Dragoons. Mama Ubu scoffs at him, and demands that he have more ambition--namely, to kill King Wenceslas, his family, and take the crown of Poland. Papa Ubu states that he would rather be poor and good than rich and wicked. After he storms out, Mama Ubu muses that she has inspired him, and may be Queen of Poland within a week.
While waiting for their dinner guests to arrive, Papa Ubu begins to discreetly eat the sumptuous food laid out. Mama Ubu scolds him, but by the time Captain Bordure and his followers arrive, the feast is gone. Mama Ubu frets about what to feed their guests, but Papa Ubu has a solution. He runs out, and when he returns, tosses a toilet brush covered in excrement onto the table. Some of the guests taste it, but fall to the ground, poisoned. Papa Ubu chases everyone out except for Captain Bordure.
Papa Ubu promises to make
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