Babrington, Viscount Litterly
Galfred, Earl of Tweenwayes
Andue', Count de Grival
Rev. Roger Minchin
FiTTON (a Gamekeeper)
YouATT (a Servant)
Orts (a Poacher)
Miriam, Marchioness of Castlejordan
Lady Noeline Belturbet
Lady Wilhelmina Belturbet, (her daughters)
Lady Thomasin Belturbet
"Sergeant" Shuter
The scene is laid first in " The Tangle,^' an overgrown corner of Overcote Park, and afterivards at Overcote Hall. Great Overcote, as everybody knoios, is a two-hours' raihvay jour- ney from town. The events of the play occur during a single day in a fine September.
Editor's Note: This script has been drawn from an original manuscript and therefore includes minor typographical errors.
The scene represents a thickly-wooded^ overgrown corner of Overcote Park. There is a small clear- ing up to a dense thicket and a ragged hedge^ which is broken by an old five-barred gate y while prominently in the foreground are, on the left the stump of a felled tree, and on the right an old tree with a wide hollow in its trunk. Beyond the gate is a prospect of a woodland^ pierced by gleams of bright light. It is a fine, warm morning in Sep- tember ; some golden leaves are on the trees, a few have fallen. The whole scene is warmly coloured and poetical in suggestion.
YouATT, a 71 aged servant in livery, opens the gate for the Rev. Roger Minchin, who advances on to the clearing. Minchin is a type of the country parson of the old school, white-haired, red-faced hearty in manner.
Minchin. No sign of her ladyship here, Youatt.
YoUATT.
We'll find her, Mr. Minchin.
8 THE AMAZONS,
MiNCHIN.
[ Wiping his browJ] Ouf !
You ATT.
[Closing the gate.'] My lady and the family are very partial to the Tangle o' fine days.
MiNCHIN.
The Tangle ?
YOUATT.
That's what the family call this corner o' the park, sir. [Looking off and removing his cap.] 'Ere is my lady.
[Miriam, Marchioness of Castlejordan, approaches^ carrying a camp-stool. She is a tally splendidly-handsome womafi of middle-age.
Lady Castlejordan.
[Shaking hands heartily with Minchin.] Mr. Minchin !
Minchin. How are you ?
Lady Castlejordan. You so seldom come to see me. Shall we walk back to the Hall?
Minchin. [Puffing.] If you don't mind, I ---
THE AMAZONS. 9
Lady Castlejordan.
Get your wind --- certainly.
[To Youatt.] Has
Shuter gone to the station to meet Lord Noel?
Youatt. I b'lieve so, m'lady.
[Youatt goes away through the gateway^
Lady Castlejordan. Well ! I see what you're thinking about.
MiNCHIN.
Lord Noel --- that's Lady Noeline ?
Lady Castlejordan. From your point of view, yes.
MiNCHIN.
Oh, dear, oh, dear !
Lady Castlejordan. *
Noel has been staying with Mrs. Vipont in town for some weeks. The Viponts have been kept in London, you know, by the late session. I've missed Noel sadly. ^Referring to her watch."] He will be at the Hall in half-an-hour.
MiNCHIN.
Will he ! And your two other gir --- boys ?
10 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan.
They spent their August in Scotland ; they've been home some days. [ Walking about restlessly. ^^ It chafes me so to think I am not at the station myself to meet my eldest son.
MiNCHIN.
You've deputed --- whom did I hear you say ?
Lady Castlejordan. Sergeant Shuter.
MiNCHIN.
Man or woman ?
Lady Castlejordan. From your point of view, woman, I suppose.
MiNCHIN.
Why Sergeant ?
» Lady Castlejordan.
Late husband held that rank in Castle Jordan's old regiment.
MiNCHIN.
What duties does she --- he --- perform here ?
Lady Castlejordan.
Teaches my boys boxing, fencing, athletics gene- rally.
THE AMAZONS. il
MiNCHIN.
[Groaning^ Oh !
Lady Castlejordan.
A splendid fellow. At the same time, I should dearly like to have gone to Scrumleigh station to meet Noel.
MiNCHIN,
You're detained here, I gather ?
Lady Castlejordan.
Detained ! I don't venture beyond the park now- a-days more than I can help. You know why, surely ?
MiNCHIN.
H'm! Well ---
Lady Castlsjordan.
You know what they call me outside, at Great Overcote, and Little Overcote, and at Scrumleigh --- ah, even in London !
MiNCHIN.
Yes, yes.
Lady Castlejordan.
The Eccentric Lady Castlejordan. _Scornfully.'
Eccentric !
MiNCHIN.
My dear Lady Castlejordan, the truth is that I've presumed to call on you this morning in the hope
12 THE AMAZONS.
that I may be permitted to modestly reason with you on this very subject.
Lady Castlejordan. Again ?
MiNCHIN.
Once more.
Lady Castlejordan.
Sit down.
\They sit ; she on ihe camp-stool^ he on the stump of a tree.
MiNCHIN.
To begin with, it would be disingenuous to con- ceal from you that I do constantly hear very severe strictures passed upon your line of conduct.
Lady Castlejordan.
You've heard them for the last ten years, ever since my husband died.
MiNCHIN.
But these strictures are more severe now than ever, and with some justice. When your children were children there was small harm in your play- fully regarding them as boys and allowing them to romp and riot. But to-day here are three young women ---
Lady Castlejordan.
No!
THE AMAZONS. 13
MiNCHIN.
Three strapping young women ---
Lady Castlejordan.
No!
MiNCHIN.
I will repeat, I do repeat, three bouncing young women !
Lady Castlejordan.
Well, in detail, I admit my children are perhaps what you describe. But in disposition, in mind, in muscle, they are three fine, stalwart young fellows.
MiNCHIN.
But Great Overcote, and Little Overcote, and Scrumleigh do not look upon them as ---
Lady Castlejordan.
Are Great Overcote, and Little Overcote, and Scrumleigh competent judges of my bitter heart- burnings and disappointments ? You knew Jack, my husband ?
MiNCHIN.
Ah, yes, indeed.
Lady Castlejordan. What was he ?
MiNCHIN.
A gentle giant. A grand piece of muscular humanity. In frame, the Vikings must have been of the same pattern.
14 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan. And you remember me as I was twenty years ago ?
MiNCHIN.
[Looking at her.'\ I've no excuse for forgetting.
Lady Castlejordan. I was a fit mate for my husband ?
MiNCHIN.
Perfect.
Lady Castlejordan.
Even in Jack's time I never scaled less than ten stone, and he could lift me as if I were a sawdust doll. Old friend --- ! Oh, old friend, what a son my son and Jack's ought to have been !
[_She goes to the gate and leans upon it, turn- ing her back to Minchin, who has also risen.
MiNCHIN.
But --- but --- but it didn't please Providence to send you a son.
Lady Castlejordan. [Beating the gate.'] Oh! Oh!
MiNCHIN.
Come, come, do learn to view the matter re- signedly !
THE AMAZONS. 15
Lady Castlejordan. Girls ! girls !
MiNCHIN.
It's an old story now ---
Lady Castlejordan. Girls !
MiNCHIN.
Why despise girls ? Many people like girls. Bless my heart, / like girls !
Lady Castlejordan.
You can recall Noeline's arrival. I was sure she was going to be a boy --- so was Jack. I knew it --- so did Jack. The child was to have been christened Noel, Jack's second name.
MiNCHIN.
Yes, I was up at the Hall that night, smoking with Castlejordan to keep him quiet.
Lady Castlejordan.
Poor dear, I remember his bending over me after- wards and whispering " Damn it, Miriam, you've lost a whole season's hunting for nothing ! " Then the second ---
MiNCHIN.
Lady Wilhelmina.
i6 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan.
Yes, Billy came next. Jack wouldn't speak to me for a couple of months after that, the only fall-out we ever had.
MiNCHIN.
But your third. Lady Thomasin ---
Lady Castlejordan.
Dearest Tommy! Oh, by that time Jack and I had agreed to regard anything that was born to us as a boy and to treat it accordingly, and for the rest of his life my husband taught our three chil- dren --- there never was another --- to ride, fish, shoot, swim, fence, fight, wrestle, throw, run, jump, until they were as hardy as Indians and their muscles burst the sleeves of their jackets. And, when Jack went, I continued their old training. Of course, I --- I recognise my boys' little deficiencies, but I'm making the best of the great disappoint- ment of my life, and I --- well, call me the eccentric Lady Castlejordan ! What do I care ?
_She sits^ wiping her eyes,
MiNCHIN.
Ah, well, well ! I've great sympathy. But I really do think that the time has arrived now ---
Lady Castlejordan.
Now! Pardon me, but you can't know what you're talking about.
THE AMAZONS. 17
MiNCHIN.
Eh?
Lady Castlejordan.
You haven't forgotten, have you, that the title went to my husband's brother in default of my being the mother of a --- of a complete boy?
MiNCHIN.
Of course I haven't.
Lady Castlejordan.
And that this man, the present Lord Castlejor- dan. a wizen creature without shoulders, has a son ?
MiNCHIN.
I know that.
Lady Castlejordan.
A son! And Lady Castlejordan a wisp of a woman with a mouth like a rabbit's! And they have a son !
MiNCHIN.
Lord Litterly. He's at Oxford.
Lady Castlejordan.
He has just come down. And what do you think I That young man has carried everything before him at the University --- everything 1
i8 THE AMAZONS.
MiNCHIN.
Why, I heard he'd failed even to take a pass degree.
Lady Castlejordan.
Bother his degree ! He was first string in the mile and quarter-mile against Cambridge at Queen's Club ; he got his cricket blue and came within two of making his century at Lord's ; and in Rugby football he was the best three-quarter back in the Oxford fifteen that's been known for the last five- and-twenty years. Oh ! the torture of it !
MiNCHIN.
Now, come, come ! I don't see --- !
Lady Castlejordan.
You don't see that this is the son Jack and I ought to have had ! No ! \ pacing to and fro] Heav- ens, if this young man had been sickly, stunted, freckled, weak, anaemic, red-eyed, narrow-chested --- !
MiNCHIN.
Hush, hush !
Lady Castlejordan.
Or, better still, humpbacked, with one short leg, it might have made me a more contented, gentler woman ! But as it is ---
MiNCHIN.
Now, now !
THE AMAZONS. 19
Lady Castlejordan.
And you choose this moment for suggesting that I should look matters straight in the face and realize the melancholy maternal muddle I've made.
MiNCHIN.
You know, I've had an idea for some time past --- but, there, you're not on friendly terms with the present Lord Castlejordan and his family ?
Lady Castlejordan. _Indignantly.'\ Friendly terms !
MiNCHIN.
Because it has often struck me that it might be a small consolation to you to know this young man ---
Lady Castlejordan. Never !
MiNCHIN.
Tut, tut ! You might grow to be fond of Lord Litterly.
Lady Castlejordan.
Fond of him! Fond of the youth that Nature --- Nature, for whom I've done so much! --- has taken from me and given to that insignificant little woman ! No, never shall one of us exchange a word even with one of them ! Never, I say ! Never !
MiNCHIN.
Oh, dear, oh, dear
20 THE AMAZONS.
[Lady Wilhelmina Belturbet etiters^ below the hedge. She is a sweet-looking gijl of nineteen, quiet, gentle and feminifie. Her attire is a com- promise between a bofs and a womans ; her " Nor- folk " jacket reaches almost to her knees and her lower limbs are eticased ift stout leathern gaiters. She carries a fishing-rod in its case and, across her shoulders, an ordinary wicker fishing-basket.
Wilhelmina.
Why, it's Mr. Minchin ! \Shaki?ig hands with him warmly?)^ Ah, mother dear ! Mr. Minchin '
Minchin. And, how are you, hey ? Any sport ?
Wilhelmina.
I'm on my way down. There's a little too much wind, I fancy ; _slipping her basket from her shoulders'^ I've turned into the s^ielter here to tie a fly.
Minchin. [^Opening the basket. '\ Let me help you.
Lady Castlejordan. What is Tommy doing this morning ?
Wilhelmina. Giving the grey mare a lesson over the hurdles.
Minchin. H'm, dangerous work !
THE AMAZONS. 21
Lady Castlejordan. [ Walking away'^^ Please don't put such ideas into my boys' heads.
[MiNCHiN afid WiLHELMiNA sit side-by-side on the stump of the tree, he with her tacklebook in his hand.
MiNCHIN.
_Futting on his spectacles.'] Now then ! What are your flies ?
WiLHELMINA.
Red Septembers and Mottled Spinners.
MiNCHIN.
Ah, you're a knowing one. _Ife ties the fly,
WiLHELMINA.
Have you and mother been talking ?
MiNCHIN.
What d'ye think we have been doing --- playing leap-frog ?
WiLHELMINA.
I mean talking about us gir --- boys ?
MiNCHIN.
H'm ! Pliers.
WiLHELMINA.
{Handing the pliers.] I guess you have. Mr.
22 THE AMAZON'S.
Minchin, dear, mother isn't worried about us, is she --- me particularly ?
Minchin.
I can answer that. No she isn't --- / am. Silk.
WiLHELMINA.
\Giving the silk to him.'] I'm glad she's not wor- ried. Because, do you know, I'm afraid I'm going to be a great sorrow to her.
Minchin. You!
WiLHELMINA.
I've a foreboding I shall turn out badly.
Minchin. In what way ?
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, I'm getting worse every day, Mr. Minchin.
Minchin. Ho, ho ! Scissors. Go on.
WiLHELMINA.
It's nice to talk to you. Shall I tell you some- thing very --- well, rather --- funny about Tommy and myself ?
THE AMAZONS. 23
MiNCHIN.
Do, if you ought to.
WiLHELMINA.
I don't think I ought to.
MiNCHIN.
{Gravely ?^ Well then, my dear, if you are at all uncertain about it perhaps it would be better ---
WiLHELMINA.
Yes, you're right.
MiNCHIN.
Perhaps it would be better that you should tell me.
WiLHELMINA.
Oh ! Well, you know Tommy and I have been staying up at Drumdurris with little Lady Drum.
MiNCHIN.
Have you ?
WiLHELMINA.
There was a very large house-party, men and women. {He glances involmitarily at her gaiters^ Oh, we always visit in our skirts, of course.
MiNCHIN.
Yes, yes, yes.
24 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
Well --- you'll never guess ! --- Tommy had an offer of marriage.
MiNCHIN.
_Laughing.'] Ho, ho !
WiLHELMINA.
Hush ! You'll fall off.
MiNCHIN.
That tom-boy too ! Now, if such a thing had happened to you I ---
WiLHELMINA.
Mr. Minchin !
MiNCHIN.
Eh
WiLHELMINA.
It did happen to me also. _Looking round.'] Mother ! [Lady Castlejordan reappears.] I'm in the way, I expect.
MiNCHIN.
[^Still laughing.'] No, no.
WiLHELMINA.
My fly, please. Thank you.
_She takes the fly from him ; the hook runs into his finger.
THE AMAZONS. 25
MiNCHIN.
[ Yemng:\ Yah
WiLHELMINA.
You're hooked ! _Extractmg the hook.'\ I am sorry.
_She gathers her tackle together and goes to the gate.
Lady Castlejordan.
\To MiNCHiN.] I heard your laugh a long way off. What amuses you ?
MiNCHIN.
\In pain.'] Got a hook in my finger.
Lady Castlejordan. How good humoured you are !
WiLHELMINA.
Here's Tommy ! [CaHing.'] Tom ! Holloa --- a --- a !
\The call is returned and Lady Thomasin Beltur- BET, a bright^ rosy, rather ?'ough-mannered girl of eighteen, appears afid leaps the gate. She is in man^s ridi?ig-dress, smartly and perfectly turned" out from cap to boots.
WiLHELMINA.
Mr. Minchin has called to see us.
Thomasin. _Shaking hands heartily with Minchin.] Good
26 THE AMAZONS.
man ! How are you ? _Kissing Lady Castlejor- DAN.] Missed you at breakfast, mater. _To Min- CHiN.] How's the old horse ?
MiNCHIN.
[^Shaking his head.'] Ah !
Thomasin.
I thought he went rather gingerly on that near fore of his when you rode over in the summer. Look here, you come and have a spin with me round the park one morning ; we'll give you a mount. What d'ye say ?
MiNCHIN.
_Looking her up and down.'] My young friend, I'm afraid I could not ride with you while you are in such an attire as I now see you in ---
Lady Castlejordan.
\Iitterposing?\ Er --- Mr. Minchin. Tommy, talk to your brother.
[Thomasin yWV^j- Wilhelmina, afid they, talk together.
MiNCHIN.
_Advancing to Lady Castlejordan, speaki?ig in an undertone.'] Lady Castlejordan, I --- I must say it --- I am a little shocked.
Lady Castlejordan. I don't understand you.
THE AMAZONS. 27.
MiNCHIN.
Pardon me, is that a proper dress for a young woman to scamper about in ?
Lady Castlejordan.
It is all a question of environment. The poor African in her solitary row of beads is as discreet as the best dressed woman in town. I will not have my boys' unconsciousness disturbed.
MiNCHIN.
I ought to tell you this. I hear that the Overcote and Scrumleigh people spend the afternoons of their early-closing Wednesdays in hanging about the skirts of your park.
Lady Castlejordan. Vulgar curiosity !
MiNCHIN.
There, I wonder your park has skirts !
Lady Castlejordan.
I have built five lodges round Overcote Park, expressly to protect us from intruders ; with the exception of one privileged old friend --- yourself --- no one enters the park but on my fortnightly Thurs- days.
MiNCHIN.
_Glancing over his shoulder?^ And then --- ?
28 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan.
Then my boys disguise themselves in petticoats. I think I may boast that no boys have sweeter frocks than my boys.
[WiLHELMiNA and Thomasin stroll away,
MiNCHIN.
{Seeing that he is alone with Lady Castlejordan.] H'm ! one word more, Lady Castlejordan. Assum- ing, just for the sake of argument, that your boys are girls, may I ask what you'd do if they should ever be asked in marriage ?
Lady Castlejordan. \Agitated.'\ Ah ! Oh, my dear Mr. Minchin !
MiNCHIN.
Triumphantly?) Aha !
Lady Castlejordan.
Do you know you've chanced on a supposition that has been a reality ! While Willy and Tommy --- well, Wilhelmina and Thomasin --- were staying at Drumdurris Castle, two men fell in love with them !
Minchin.
And in the name of common-sense, why not ?
Lady Castlejordan.
Men I call them ! Insects ! Merciful Powers, one was a Frenchman !
THE AMAZONS, 29
MiNCHIN.
Well --- !
Lady Castlejordan. A creature who has doubtless shot a fox !
MiNCHIN.
The other ?
Lady Castlejordan. Little Lord Tweenwayes.
MiNCHIN.
Tweenwayes ! A fine race, the Fitzbrays.
Lady Castlejordan. Fine !
MiNCHIN.
Why Godefroy de Fitz Braye was one of Rich- ard's Knights in the Crusade.
Lady Castlejordan.
No Fitzbray has ever stood higher than five feet five in his boots. They're a shrivelled, puny line. The present Lord Tweenwayes inherits the accu- mulated ailments of all his ancestors, and he pre- sumes --- !
Thomasin and Wilhelmina re-appear.
MiNCHIN.
Ssh!
30 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan.
\To MiNCHiN.] Walk up to the Hall with me ; we shall just be in time to greet Lord Noel. I'll tell you about this business as we stroll along. My dear boys, don't come with us ; it's so long since I've seen Mr. Minchin.
[MiNCHiN opens the gate,
WiLHELMINA.
Very well, mother dear.
Thomasin. All right, mater.
Lady Castlejordan.
\As she and Minchin walk away.] Isn't that Scrumleigh church chime.? We shall be late.
[Minchin and Lady .Castlejordan disap- pear. Thomasin sits on the tree-stump.
Thomasin. So you think that, do vou, Billy ?
WiLHELMINA.
Sure of it.
Thomasin.
But why should the parson concern himself about
us ?
WiLHELMINA.
He --- he --- thinks we're girls, you know. Tommy dear.
THE AMAZONS. 31
Thomasin. Well, we ain't, my dear William, so he's out of it.
WiLHELMINA.
^Approaching Thomasin and kneeling beside her?[ Tom, don't you ever feel like a girl ?
Thomasin. I ! Well, I should hope not.
WiLHELMINA.
But how do you know you don't .'' I'm sometimes afraid / do.
Thomasin.
That's cos' you had measles too late in life and got your blood thin. You're a manly young chap enough, considerin'.
WiLHELMINA.
Ami.?
Thomasin.
Of course you're not to be compared with old Noel. He is the pick of our basket.
WiLHELMINA.
Yes, he's very nice.
Thomasin.
Nice ! What silly words you use ! Why, he's the best all-round sportsman our side of the county, even
32 THE AMAZONS.
I own that. Nice ! And he's a fellow that reads books too --- / never could open a book. Nice ! He --- he --- well he's just my notion of what a young Englishman ought to be. Hullo ! What's that in the hollow of that tree ?
WiLHELMINA.
_Quickly going across to the tree.'] Oh, can you see it ?
Thomasin. See it.?
WiLHELMINA.
It must have slipped down ; it's my guitar.
[Drawing a guitar-case from the hollow of the tree.
Thomasin.
What the dooce --- !
WiLHELMINA.
Mother heard me playing in my room and stopped me. She says it's girlish.
Thomasin.
Rubbish ! The Troubadours always played guitars. Oh, I say, ain't I well-informed ?
WiLHELMINA.
[Taking the guitar from its case.] So I hid it here thinking I'd creep down to the Tangle sometimes and sing to myself.
THE AMAZONS. 33
Thomasin. Hard lines ! Won't the mater let you play any- thing ?
WiLHELMINA.
{Tuning the guitar P She's promised to give me a cornet.
Thomasin.
Good business! Tune up, William. Anything pretty --- bar love-rot, you know.
WiLHELMINA.
Ah, it's so damp !
_As WiLHELMINA is about to sing, Thomasin raises herself suddenly.
Thomasin. Look out ! Who's coming ?
[WiLHELMINA hastily coficeals the guitar and case below the tree. Lady Noeline Bel- TURBET and Shuter are seen goi?ig to- wards the gate. Noeline is a handsome, imperious girl of twenty ; she wears the ordinary travelling costume of a young lady. Shuter is a good-looking woman of about thirty, suggesting by her manner and dress an association with the army. Noeline has a set, serious look on her face. Shuter carries a travelling bag.
WiLHELMINA.
Noel
34 THE AMAZONS,
Thomasin. \ Jumping up."] Noel !
Noel. Boys !
[WiLHELMiNA and Thomasin gfip Noel- ine's hands in manly fashion.
NOELINE,
How are you ?
Thomasin. How are you ?
WiLHELMINA.
How are you ?
NOELINE.
How's the mother ?
Thomasin. She was here just now with Mr. Minchin
WiLHELMINA.
They've gone up to the Hall, to meet you, I expect.
NOELINE.
I got out of the carriage at the East Lodge for the sake of a walk across the park. Sergeant !
Shuter. Yes, m'lord.
THE AMAZONS. 35
NOELINE.
Go on ahead. Tell my mother where I am. Don't stare at me like that, please.
Shuter. All right, m'lord. _She goes off through the gate.
WiLHELMINA.
What is the Sergeant staring at .? [Looking into Noeline's/*:^.] Oh !
Thomasin.
_Looking at Noeline.] By Jove, you don't look very fit !
Noeline. [Impatiently Nonsense !
Thomasin. Glad to get back .?
Noeline.
[Putting her haids on their shoulder s." Glad ! Rather !
Thomasin. Good man !
Noeline.
[ Wearily.'] Let's sit down. Perhaps I am rather out of condition. London isn't Scotland.
[Thomasin hands Noeline a cigaiette case, from which she takes a cigarette passing on the case to Wilhelmina.
2,6 . THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
[Taking a cigarette.'] Thanks!
[ They light their cigarettes,
Thomasin.
You'll find these something good; I'm giving a new firm a leg-jip.
NOELINE.
Boys, I had your letters. So you got into a little difficulty at Drumdurris ?
Thomasin. Tweenwayes.
NOELINE.
Proposed, didn't he ?
Thomasin. I should think he did !
NOELINE.
Nuisance, eh?
Thomasin.
Horrid bore. Enough to turn any fellow against his holidays.
NOELINE.
What about you, Willy?
WiLHELMINA.
_Turning away slightly.'] A friend of Lord Tween- wayes.
THE AMAZONS. 37
Thomasin.
Andre de Grival. You know, the usual thing--- plenty of moustache and vivacity.
NOELINE.
Proposed ?
WiLHELMINA.
\In a low voice.'] Oh, yes.
Thomasin.
\Struttifig about.'] They behaved decently, I will say ; they did go to Lady Drumdurris first, and Egidia in a great commotion wrote off to the mater.
WiLHELMINA.
_Sitting on the tree-stump beside Noeline.] But they couldn't wait for mother's reply.
Noeline. Caddish.
WiLHELMINA.
Perhaps Monsieur de Grival is ignorant of our customs.
Noeline. Tweenwayes isn't.
WiLHELMINA.
_Putti7ig her arm round Noeline's waist?^ You're vexed. It wasn't our fault. [Kissing Noeline /z/r- tively.'] You know, Tommy looked rather pretty up North.
38 THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
_Looking into Wilhelmina's/^t.] I dare say.
[NOELINE kisses WiLHELMINA. WiLHELMINA.
[ Taking Noeline's hand.~\ Ah ! {Looking at Noel- iN'E.^s hand, suddenly.'] Oh! Where's your ring ?
NOELINE.
[Snatching her hand away and concealing it.] What ?
WiLHELMINA.
Your ring --- the Belturbet ring !
NOELINE.
[^Agitated.] It's in my case.
WiLHELMINA.
Noeline ! You know mother believes it never leaves your finger !
[Thomasin takes up the guitar^ and sounds the strings.
NOELINE.
\Startled^, What's that ?
WiLHELMINA.
My guitar.
THE AMAZONS 39
NOELINE.
Sing to me, Willy --- the train always upsets my nerves. Then we'll all walk home together.
[WiLHELMiNA takes the guitar and, leaning against the holloiv tree, sings a pretty mel- ody. Thomasin sits 071 the gate. Noel- INE remains on the tree-stump; as the song nears its close she sinks to the ground and, leaning her head on the stump, utters hysterical sounds. Wilhelmina, drop- ping her guitar, runs with Thomasin to
NOELINE.
NOELINE.
Oh ! Ha, ha, ha, ha ! Oh dear, oh dear !
Thomasin. ^Raising her."] Here ! Hold up, old man
Wilhelmina. Noel I dear Noel !
NOELINE.
Oh, boys, boys, boys, I'm so upset.
Thomasin. What's amiss ?
Wilhelmina Do tell us 1
/^ , THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
Wait a second. I will tell you --- I must tell somebody.
\She walks up and down, composing herself. The others stand together and look on wonderingly.
Thomas.
[To WiLHELMINA.] Eh !
WiLHELMINA.
_To Thomasin.] I can't think ---
NOELINE.
I'm all right. I say, you fellows, I got into a bit of a mess the night before last --- a scrape, a bother.
Did you ?
Oh!
How?
Thomasin.
WiLHELMINA.
Thomasin.
NOELINE.
You know, Mrs. Vipont and her husband went down into Surrrey, to a political meeting he was to speak at, and as they couldn't catch the last train iiome they slept at Sir Henry Carholt's at Chilmere. I didn't go, for two reasons. Never-ending politics bore me, and then I --- I wanted to profit by their absence to see London.
THE AMAZONS. .41
Thomasin. See London !
WiLHELMINA.
Why, you have been seeing London for the last five weeks.
NOELINE.
Oh, yes, in my petticoats ; shopping with Florence in the morning, the forlorn park in the afternoon, a cockney Exhibition in the evening. I wanted to view London from the same stand-point from which we've been brought up to see things here at Over- cote.
Thomasin.
Good man I
NOELINE.
Yes, that's it ! I felt that if I could only parade the streets, as a man, at the hour when all the nam- by-pamby women of our class are being escorted here or there, lifted in and out of carriages, wrapped about in soft cloaks, half smothered by polite atten- tions --- if I could only do this I should indeed be a man ! I wanted to swagger along unnoticed, to fling away my half-burnt cigarette, to see it caught up still sparkling by a ragged urchin, to throw a coin to a crossing-sweeper, to be shoved and elbowed by a noisy crowd, ah, to be even sworn at --- boys, I felt that if I could only do this I should be less like a girl than ever !
Thomasin.
Oh, why wasn't I with you 1
42 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
And --- and did you do it ?
NOELINE.
\After a little pause^ gloomily?}^ Yes, I did it, _Sitting on the camp-stool.'] I did it.
Thomasin. _Sitting^ gleefully?^ Oh, ho, ho !
WiLHELMINA.
[Kneeling beside Noel.] You hadn't your dress clothes in town with you, Noel.
NOELINE.
No, but I was obliged to make a confidante of Dawkins, the woman who valeted me in Chesham Street, and she and I raked out a dress-suit of Bobby Vipont's. Bobby's in Switzerland, you know. He's seventeen and just my height, but everything I borrowed of him, except his white necktie, was a beastly fit. However, I was well hidden by his Inverness cape, so it didn't matter a row of pins. Then I crammed my hair under a wig that had been left over from Lucy Vipont's birthday theatricals, and then --- then Dawkins let me out.
Thomasin.
{Stamping her feet^ What did you do ? Where did you go to ?
THE AMAZONS. 43
NOELINE.
[JVeari/y.] I did the West End. I --- I didn't like it. I--- I didn't care for anything I saw. I was tired --- I was returning home. Then I got into this mess.
WiLHELMINA.
{^Tremblingly.'] Oh, dear.
NOELINE.
I saw a man about to hit a girl. He'd got his arm back, his fist against his shoulder --- he meant it. So did I ! Boys, you know what I can do ! Well, before you could have said " Jinks ! " I'd slipped my big ring into Bobby Vipont's trouser pocket and I'd landed the monster --- {putting her fist under Wil- helmina's chin\ just here, Willy dear.
[Thomasin yz/w/.f up excitedly.
WiLHELMINA.
Noel
NOELINE.
I've often knocked out Sergeant Shuter in the same way, but always with the gloves on. {Rubbing her ha?td with aversion.] Oh, you don't know what it's like to get home on a strange man's chin without the gloves on !
Thomasin.
Did he go down ?
NOELINE.
Down ! {Nodding and' staring at the ground in agitation?^ I see him there constantly. I tumble
44 THE AMAZONS.
over him in my sleep. _Going to Thomasin.] Oh, Tommy, Tommy !
Thomasin. Go on ! don't stop.
NOELINE.
There was a crowd --- men and women grew out of the pavement ---
WiLHELMINA.
Brutes !
NOELINE.
No, they were friendly. They called me "guv- nor." " Let him have it again, guv'nor," one per- son advised. An awful, unanimous desire seemed to possess them all to mind what they called my togs. My hat --- Bobby Vipont's hat --- went in a twinkling. Then terrible hands, hundreds of hands, I fancied, of all shapes and sizes, were laid on my cape. I wrenched myself free and broke away, hitting about like a woman then, right and left. And I ran. I ran till I fainted.
WiLHELMINA.
You fainted ! You !
NOELINE.
Why, don't men faint sometimes
Thomasin. What became of you ?
Noeline. When I came to I was lying on a sofa in a strange
THE AMAZONS. 45
room and a young fellow was sitting, a little way off, watching me.
WiLHELMINA.
Noel !
Thomasin.
Noel !
NOELINE.
\Awkwardly?^ Well ?
Thomasin. Well ? _Impatiently.'] Well ?
NOELINE.
I'd fallen almost into his arms, he explained. He'd taken me to his lodgings to get me round. He spoke as a gentleman speaks. He --- he liked the look of me, he said.
Thomasin.
_Bitiiig her lips."] How did he convey you to his rooms ? [NoELiNE shakes her headj] Were you on a level with the street ?
NOELINE.
No, first floor.
Thomasin. How did he get you upstairs ?
Noeline. \Rocki7ig herself to arid fro.'] That's just it !
46 THE AMAZONS.
Thomasin.
\Frowning?^ Think he guessed you --- weren't the --- usual sort of young man ?
NOELINE.
I don't know what to think.
[WiLHELMiNA bursts itito tears,
Thomasin.
\Hitting her boots with her crop, angrily.'] By Jove, this isn't a very nice accident to befall a young lady!
NOELINK.
[^Looking up.] Tom !
Thomasin.
Yes, you were sent to town as a young lady. [/«- dignantly.] A fellow's sister, too ! Well, well, well ?
NOELINE.
He lent me a cap, expecting me, I suppose, to ask his name, but I snatched the cap from him and bolted down his stairs into the street. The dawn was just breaking when I found a cab. Dawkins put me to bed in a rage. When I got up I burnt the cap and gave Dawkins two pounds and a cigarette-holder. [^Wringing her hands.] Oh! Oh! [Wilhelmina sobs.
Thomasin.
You shut up, William ! ^To Noeline, gloomily.'] After all, beyond the indignity and the humiliation
THE AMAZONS. 47
of the thing, you're none the worse for the little out-
NOELINE.
{Holding out her hand ?\ My ring ! the Belturbet ring!
Thomasin. Eh!
NOELINE.
The big ring that has never left a Belturbet's hand for so many hundreds of years !
Thomasin. Not gone
NOELINE.
It must have fallen out of the pocket of Bobby Vipont's silly trousers.
Thomasin.
Jupiter! The mater's angry only about once a year ; this'U be it ! Look out I here they are !
[Wilhelmina hastily conceals the guitar and its case in the hollow of the tree. Noeline draws on her gloves. Lady Castlejor- DAN, MiNCHiN, and Shuter come through the gate.
Lady Castlejordan.
_Embracing Noeline.] My dear boy ! [Looking into NoELiNE'sy^<r^, uneasily. 1 Ah, London has taken that fine bronze tint out of your face. There's Mr. Minchin. _Calling.'] Shuter ! [Shuter advances.
48 THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
\Taking a letter from her pocket. '\ Mrs. Vipont asked me to give you that, mother.
_She hands Lady Castlejordan the note, and joins Minchin, Wilhelmina, and Thomasin.
Lady Castlejordan. \To Shuter, while opening the note^ Sergeant !
Shuter.
Yes, m'lady.
Lady Castlejordan.
Certainly, I do notice it. Lord Noel looks terri- bly flabby.
Shuter.
I shall see what he does with the bar-bells to-night in the gymnasium.
Lady Castlejordan.
_J^eading the note to herself. ] Oh ! " Dear Miriam. Please come to town at once to hear a statement from Clara Dawkins, my maid. Say nothing yet to Noeline as we may find the woman untruthful. Yours affectionately, Florence Vipont." Mercy ! what has occurred t [calling'] Mr. Minchin ! [Min- CHiN approaches and Shuter retires. 2he girls gather together.'] Old friend, will you take me to London this morning 1
Minchin.
I?
THE AMAZONS. 49
Lady Castlejordan.
I must be protected from annoyance at Great Overcote and Scrumleigh. If you won't ---
MiNCHIN.
But I will !
Lady Castlejordan.
Oh, thank you ! Not a word !
^She goes hurriedly away through the gate.
MiNCHIN.
Lady Castlejordan --- !
_He follows^ her. Shuter goes after them.
Thomasin. [Going to the gate.'] Anything wrong, Sergeant ?
Shuter.
[^Closing the gate.] Hope not, m'lord.
[Shuter disappears.
Thomasin.
Why is the mater so taken up with Mr. Minchin to-day ? ^
NOELINE.
It gives one breathing^time, at any rate. Come, boys, we'll go down to the bridge till lunch. Billy, bring the banjo.
[WiLHELMiNA produces the guitar again.
so THE AMAZONS.
Thomasin.
Yes, let's forget for a little while that you've lost Dad's ring. By Jove, it's rippin' to be all together again, aint it !
NOELINE.
Ah, Tom, I wish we hadn't left home this summer any of us !
Thomasin.
_Slapping her on the back.'] Cheer up, old man !
NOELINE.
[Rallying.'] I mean to. After lunch we'll have a pop at the partridges. Confound London ! Hate- ful London !
[NoELiNE and Thomasin go off below the hedge.
Wilhelmina.
[Running after them with the guitar?^ Wait for me, you fellows ! Wait for me !
[After a few moments^ Andre de Grival emerges cautiously from the bush and un- dergrowth on the left below the hedge. De Grival is a good-looking., animated young Frenchman of the type of a Grevin caricature. He speaks fluently^ but his pronunciation and inflections are, like his appearance and general demeanour, very French. Pieces of twig and bracken cling to his clothes and his necktie is disarranged.
THE AMAZONS. 51
De Grival.
\Looking about /lim.] Where have we got to ? Where is it ? [Wiping his brow.'] I am hot. [Calling in an undertofte.] Tweenwayes, my dear fellow ! Tweenwayes ! _The Earl of Tweenwayes crawls out of the thicket, on his stomach, pai7fully.~\ Tween- wayes, my friend, here we are sheltered. We may stand upright.
[Lord Tweenwayes rises. He is a short, thin, weak-lookifig man of about three-and- thirty, with a pale, emaciated face and red eyes. Although a most insignificant per- son, his bearing is full of affectation and his tone a haughty one. He is more disarranged and dishevelled tha?t his com- panioji, his clothes are covered with bracken, his hat and pocket are full af leaves, his knickerbockers are green and soiled at the knees and, at 07ie knee, there is a small rent.
Tweenwayes. You don't think we've been observed ?
De Grival.
Impossible. We crawl like alligators. Allow me. {Picking the brackeft from Tweenwayes' clothes and otherwise putting him in order.'] That was a good place at which to enter the park, between two lodges, not in sight of each. There you are.
Tweenwayes. Thank you ; let me render you a similar service.
52 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival.
[Turning his back to Tween waves.] My friend ! [TwEENWAYES fastidiously removes one piece of bracken from De Grival's coat.
TwEENWAYES.
Yes, I certainly did discover the one weak spot in the fortification.
De Grival.
_Removing the bracken from the front of his coat^ Pardon me, /found it.
TwEENWAYES.
[Politely, but annoyed.'] I found it.
De Grival. No, no, I found it.
TwEENWAYES.
[Icily.'] I dare say you're right.
[He replaces the piece of bracken on De Gri- val's coat and moves away.
De Grival.
Thank you. At all events, we are here. To fancy I am once more near Wilhelmina, breathing the air she breathes, listening to the birds that sing to her, looking at --- ! \To Tweenwayes, who is sitting, emptying his pockets of leaves.] My friend, you have scratched your nose.
THE AMAZONS. 53
TWEENWAYES.
No ! _Apph'ing his handkerchief.'] Yes, it is so. Hah, this is characteristic of us ! We have never hesitated to shed our blood freely for those on whom we have bestowed our affection.
De Grival. We --- us ? You and me ?
Tweenwayes.
No, no, no --- my race, my family. We have always been remarkable for our ardent passions. Our loves have made history, you know.
De Grival.
Lady Castlejordan's objection to you as a suitor for Lady Thomasin, have you heard it ?
Tweenwayes.
Heard it ! She objects to my stature, my whole physical fabric, in fact. She is crazy on the subject of muscular development.
De Grival.
[^Feeling his muscles and hitting the airj\ Yes, yes. Ah ! ah ! _Kicking vigorously.'] Ah !
Tweenwayes.
_Regardi?ig De Grival disdainfully.] We --- we have never been coarse, brawny men ; always deli- cate, fragile, with transparent veins. Our women
54 THE AMAZONS.
are especially interesting. An eminent surgeon once assured me that he could make out the osteo- logical structure of any one of our women by placing her before a lighted candle and looking at her on the dark side. We ---
De Grival.
And I am rejected because I am a Frenchman !
Ah!
TWEENWAYES.
Well, frankly, with families who have made his- tory, I can quite understand that that --- but why pain you ?
De Grival.
But I am English !
Tweenwayes. My dear De Grival !
De Grival.
English to my back-bone ! French by birth, yes. But so long educated in England, English in my appearance, manner, voice. I play your games, follow your sport. I speak the idiom of your lan- guage ; I say " don'cher know ! " frequently. I learn your proverbs --- "a great many cooks spoil your broth, honesty is the best thing to do, a stick in time --- "all of them, by heart. I say "damitall" in the smoking-room. And still I am French ! Bah!
THE AMAZONS. 55
TWEENWAYES.
All I can say is I've known you some time and --- well, we are judges of men.
De Grival. My friend ! And we stick together in this affair ?
Tweenwayes.
I will not leave this neighbourhood till I have personally renewed my proposal to Lady Thomasin. I am pleased to have your companionship.
De Grival.
But do we understand each other ? For example, it one of us was asked up to the Hall, that one would not march in and leave the other, his friend, on the outside ?
Tweenwayes.
Speaking for myself, if I --- well, dined at Over- cote Hall without you, I should certainly make quite a point of alluding to you generously during the evening.
De Grival.
_Enraged^ Alluding ! Thank you very much ! Bah! Never reckon your ducks --- your chickens! [Snapping his fingers i?i Tween wayes'/z.] Don'cher know !
Tweenwayes.
Monsieur de Grival I
56 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival. [ Walking away.] La, la, la !
TWEENWAYES.
[fndignanf/y.] Oh !
[T/iey walk about angrily then meet again. After a display of irresolution^ Tween- WAYES removes a piece of the bracken from De Grival's coat.
De Grival.
[Turning, conciliated.] Ah! my friend!
Tweekwayes. _Suddenly, in evident pain. ] Oh ! Oh, dear me !
De Grival. Tweenwayes, you have it again!
Tweenwayes.
[ Writhing.] No, no, the other was sciatica ; this is cramp.
De Grival. Cramp !
Tweenwayes.
We have cramp. We have sciatica also, but every alternate generation has the cramp bias very clearly defined. Oh, dear, dear !
De Grival.
This from creeping through the underwood. What to do ?
THE AMAZONS. 57
TWEENWAYES.
It will pass.
De Grival.
I suffer with you.
TwEENWAYES.
[^Rocking himself to and fro.] Our cramp has made history. My mother quotes an old distich --- " Cold the wind and damp the day, Cramp shall seize the true Fitzbray ! "
Lord Litterly appears, above the hedge, and, seeing TwEENWAYES a7id De Grival, he looks cau- tiously over the gate. He is a handsome young man with the frame of an athlete and an air of indolence.
Litterly.
\To himself?^ I --- I'll swear to that back ! \Aloud?^ I say!
De Grival.
^Turning.'\ Eh? ^Going to the gate."] My dear Barrington !
Litterly.
[ Opening the gate. ] Andre !
[ They shake hafids ; Tweenwayes groans.
Litterly. \To De Griyal.] Who's your pal?
Tweenwayes. [Looking round?[ How do you do, Litterly ?
58 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
Why, Tweeny! what are you making that noise for?
De Grival. The cramps.
LiTTERLY.
[Producing a little silver Jlask from his waistcoat pocket.'] Cramp! Take a pull. [Tweenwayes drinks.'] Why, we three haven't met since Lady Twombley's jolly dance that hot night in July. I say, what's this place ?
De Grival. Overcote Park.
LiTTERLY.
No ! Then it's my aunt's place !
Tweenwayes. Certainly it is.
De Grival. Lady Castlejordan --- your aunt ? Ah, I see it !
LiTTERLY.
The eccentric Lady Castlejordan they call her, poor lady. Are you visiting ? [Tweenwayes and De Grival exchange looks.] What's up 1
De Grival.
Pardon me if I speak to Tweenwayes.
[De Grival and Tweenwayes consult to- gether.
THE AMAZONS, 59
LiTTERLY.
\To himself. '\ I say, suppose the young man I picked up --- I mean, the young woman I picked up --- turns out to be my --- \with a prolonged whistle'] Phew ! I say !
De Grival.
_To LiTTERLY.] No, wc are not visiting. Are you ?
LiTTERLY.
I ! My people and the Overcote Park people have been daggers-drawn for years.
TWEENWAYES.
You will, I am convinced, thank me, Litterly, for letting you know that no one is permitted to enter this park except on Lady Castlejordan's reception days.
LiTTERLY.
[Sitting lazily. '\ So I believe. My .cousins are rather uncommon in their rigs out, I've heard.
TWEENWAYES.
Yes, yes, but --- but here you are, my dear Litterly !
LiTTERLY.
And here you are, my dear Tweeny.
TwEENWAYES.
Er --- excuse me.
[De Grival and Tweenwayes again con- sult. LiTTERLY makes a cigarette calmly.
6o THE AMAZONS.
De Grival.
My dear Barrington, we admit we have no rights here. The short of it is, we desire to meet Lady Wilhelmina Belturbet ---
TWEENWAYES.
And Lady Thomasin ---
De Grival.
Ladies we have had the joy of knowing at Drum- durris.
LiTTERLY.
I say ! Is that it ?
De Grival.
To-day we discover the only way to enter this park without notice.
LiTTERLY.
You think so ? Well, no one saw me wriggle through a break in the fence, I swear.
De Grival. Ah ! We came through the fence also
LiTTERLY.
My dear aunt ought to have the park palings ' looked to.
De Grival.
[Pointing to the ieft.~\ Over there.
THE AMAZONS. 6i
LiTTERLY.
\Pointing to the right.'] Over there.
TWEEN WAVES.
_Angrily.'] Pish !
De Grival. Pardon me.
[TwEENWAYES and De Grival again con- sult; LiTTERLY chuckles.
Tweenwayes.
My dear Litterly, it is our deliberate intention to conceal ourselves in Overcote Park until we en- counter these ladies. I need hardly tell you that any assistance you can render us, in the shape of leaving us to ourselves, we shall esteem highly.
Litterly. _Sitting on the grass, leaning lazily against the tree- stump.'] I say, I was about to make a similar sug- gestion to you, old chap. I'm going to hang about here too.
Tweenwayes. May I ask --- ?
Litterly.
Why not .? I'm a little interested in a lady I've just seen entering the park. I've followed her from town, in point of fact, in the hope of getting a few words with her on the quiet. So you see, Tweeny, you can't have the field quite to yourself.
[Tweenwayes a7td De Grival consult to- gether with great animation.
62 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
I resent this ! I resent it !
De Grival. Damitall !
Tweenwayes.
We --- we don't brook obstacles.
De Grival. A great many cooks ! Damitall !
Tweenwayes.
If this had occurred a few centuries ago we should have simply slain the fellow ! [ After fur- ther fnuttered conversation they return to Litterly.] My dear Barrington, it seems to us that as we are all trespassers here, and as our interests run on somewhat parallel lines, the best course we can adopt is to --- is to ---
De Grival. Stick together.
Litterly.
Pals? I say, just as you like --- don't put your- selves out.
De Grival.
Good ! this is good ! Union is strength ! Don' cher know !
_From the distance there comes the sound of the girls^ voices, singing to the accompani- ment of the guitar, and gradually drawing near.
Hark! Hark!
THE AMAZONS. 63
tweenwayes. De Grival.
TwEENWAYES.
It's coming here. We'd better get out of sight.
De Grival.
Certainly. _To Litterly.] Barrington, you will be looked at ! [De Grival goes oj^ quickly,
TWEENWAYES.
Litterly! Litterly!
Litterly.
_Freparing to rise.'] All right, old chap, I'm mov- ing along.
Tweenwayes.
Upon my word, Lord Litterly 1 [Going down upon his hands and knees and crawling into the thicket^ scowling at Litterly.] Fool ! fool ! ^He disappears.
Litterly.
_Rising slowly and listenrng.] Girls' voices. Girls. _JIe walks ojf after De Grival. Then Noel- INE, Wilhelmina, and Thomasin come along si?igiftg.
Thomasin.
[^JVear the gate, speaking to Wilhelmina.] Look out, Billy ! Here's the Sergeant.
WiLHELMINA.
Thomasin.
64 THE AMAZONS.
{They cease singing. Wilhelmina hur- riedly returns the guitar to its hiding place. Thomasin stands shielding Wilhelmina as Shuter approaches.
Shuter.
[From the other side of the gate.] My lady would like to see you up at the Hall directly ; she wants to say good-bye.
Noeline.
Good-bye ?
Good-bye ?
Good-bye ?
Shuter.
M'lady's just off to town.
Noeline.
To town ?
Thomasin.
What for ?
Wilhelmina.
Going to London }
Noeline.
Mother has been sent for by the the lawyers^ per- haps.
Wilhelmina.
She's going to see the dentist, very likely.
THE AMAZONS. 65
Thomasin.
Hairdresser, / think. Mater's hair is coming out in sackfulls.
WiLHELMINA.
Dressmaker, I believe.
Thomasin.
Or bootmaker ; mater hasn't got a decent shoe to her back --- I mean ---
NOELINE.
Don't stand here guessing. Come on, boys.
[Shuter opens the gate. Thomasin shoulders the campstool; Wilhelmina picks tip her rod and basket. The three girls disappear^ and Shuter follows. Then De Grival returns excitedly.
De Grival.
\To his companions.'] Ssst ! Ssst ! [Tweenwayes crawls from out the thicket. Litterly ?'e-enters leis- urely. ~\ Wilhelmina! I have seen Wilhelmina !
Tweenwayes. Hush! Thomasin ! I have heard Thomasin !
Litterly.
[To himself^ My cousin ! The boy I picked up --- well, the girl I picked up --- my cousin !
De Grival. {To Tweenwayes.] Did you hear ? Lady Castle-
66 THE AMAZONS.
Jordan goes to London ! Do you understand that ?
TWEENWAYES.
Dash it, do you think I'm obtuse ?
De Grival.
What fortune ! The mother goes ! We see them, talk with them, walk with them ! La, la, la ! Love laughs at blacksmiths ! Don' cher know !
_He dances about fantastically. Litterly sits thoughtfully. The girls are heard singing again., their voices gradually be- coming more distant.
De Grival.
^Rushi?ig to the gate.'] Again !
[Litterly rises on hearing the singing., and running to the gate., climbs on to the middle bar a7td looks off.
Tweenwayes.
You'll be seen by the maid ! \Goi7ig down on his
-hands and knees and crawling to the gate. ~\ Fool ! fool !
[ He puts his head under the lower bar to
watch the girls. The girls are still singing
in the distance.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
The scene is the same as in the preceding Act. FiTTON, the gamekeeper^ an old man, is sitting and smoking a clay pipe while a dog lies near him.
Thomasin. [Calling in the distance.'] Fitton ! Fitton !
FiTTON.
[Rising and puttifig his pipe away.] 'Ere I be, m'iord.
[He opens the gate. Thomasin enters, followed shortly by WiLHELMiNA, and, after a brief interval, by NoELiNE. The three girls are in clothes fashioned after the style of a man's shooting suit, corduroy coats and waist- coats, tweed knickerbockers, shoes and gaiters, everything very smart aud natty. They carry their guns.
Thomasin. Kept you waiting, Fitton ?
68 THE AMAZONS.
FiTTON.
Not you, m'lord.
WiLHELMINA.
Good afternoon, Jo.
FiTTON.
Arternoon, m'lord.
NOELINE.
Well, Jo, how are you ?
FiTTON.
Glad to see ye back agin, m'lord.
Thomasin. What's the programme ?
FiTTON.
^To Noel.] I thought we'd try the plantations
furst, m'lord.
NOELINE.
That'll do. Get us back to tea --- what time, Billy .?
WiLHELMINA.
Youatt will be here with the tea-basket at a quarter to four.
FiTTON.
We'll work up toward Silverthorn Coppice arter tea ; birds be feedin' theer about sunset.
THE AMAZONS. 6gr
NOELINE.
Get along, boys.
[Thomasin, Wilhelmina, and Noeline go off below the hedge, YiTTOii following with the dog. After a pause, De Grival comes hastily behind the hedge, and clambers over the gate.
De Grival.
\Calling.'\ Tweenwayes ! my friend !
[Tweenwayes runs up, attempts to climb the gate, falls over, and is caught by De Grival.
Tweenwayes. \Sitting, much agitated.'] Confound the thing !
De Grival.
^Looking over the gate, then joining Tweenwayes.J They have stopped running.
Tweenwayes.
An ancestor of mine, Ughtred Fitz Bray, called "the Uncomely," brought inevitable destruction --- so the legend goes --- on those whom he cursed in anger. Curse these cows !
De Grival.
First we come face to face with the deer --- we leave them. Then we come face to face with the bulls --- we leave them. Then ---
70 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
Oh, it's a beastly park ! This is the only decent bit of retirement.
De Grival.
[ Walking about impatie7ttly.~\ But here we do not meet the ladies, here we shall never meet the ladies.
Tweenwayes.
Pardon me, if the ladies are out they must come here to get away from the cows.
De Grival.
One thing we may congratulate ourselves. We have lost Barrington.
Tweenwayes.
Ah, yes, we're rid of Litterly. _Fadng up and down angrily."] We soon tired him out.
De Grival.
T am glad. Two are company, three is too much. Don' cher know !
Tweenwayes.
His society had already become intolerable to me. The boundless self-sufficiency of the man ! Once, when he trod on my foot, I was within an ace of cursing him. I doubt his breeding, too. The idea of his tracking a pretty face from town in this way ! The circumstance of his turning out to be the lady's cousin doesn't excuse him ; I believe he simply met her in a shop and followed her about like a snobby
THE AMAZONS. 71
cad. It's an accursed impropriety. Heavens, is chivalry extinct ! What --- eh ?
De Grival.
[ With a little groanj] Tweenwayes, my friend, I am hungry.
Tweenwayes. Hungry ! I feel like a disused vault.
De Grival. Bah ! It is an hour past my lunch.
Tweenwayes.
You forget, you did breakfast, I didn't. I may tell you, we --- we never breakfast.
De Grival. [^Turning awayj] We, we, we !
Tweenwayes.
If we miss our midday meal we have acute sinking of the stomach. My aunt quotes a quaint old quatrain ---
" In the battle, let the strongest, " Who the bold Fitzbrays would scatter, " Seek out those who've been the longest " Parted from their cup and platter." We ---
De Grival. My friend, I am tired of your we --- we !
7^ THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
Monsieur de Grival !
De Grival. La, la, la !
TWEENWAYES.
{^.Furiously.'] Leave the park, leave the park !
De Grival.
[Facing Tweenwayes excitedly.'] Possession is nine points of your law !
Tweenwayes. You forget yourself !
De Grival.
First come, first serve ! [Contemptuously waving- his hand under Tweenwayes' nose^ Don' cher Icnow.
Tweenwayes. Ahl
\They separate and walk about, then they stand apart eyeing each other furtively.
De Grival.
'^Advancing to Tweenwayes hesitatingly. 1 Pardon ■fae.
Tweenwayes.
[To himself, struggling inwardly^ Can I ?
[Tweenwayes at length offers De Grival two fingers.
THE AMAZONS. 73
De Grival.
[Dubiously. '\ My friend !
[LiTTERLY strolls aloug, below the hedge., smoking. Tweenwayes and De Grival exchange looks of disgust.
LiTTERLY.
^Sitting.'\ Seen anybody ?
De Grival.
Not we. What have you been doing, my dear Barrington ?
LiTTERLY.
Having a bit of lunch.
Tweenwayes. [^Advancing eagerly.'] Where, where, where ?
LiTTERLY.
\Pointing over his shoulder.] Found a most de- lightful rural inn close by --- " The Checkers," at Little Overcote. I say, if you two would like ta patronise it, I'll keep watch here for the ladies willingly.
Tweenwayes.
Accept my thanks, but I prefer not to quit my post. We --- we never ---
De Grival.
Nor I too. I will not leave the park till I have seen Wilhelmina.
74 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
All right ; you please yourselve
[TwEENWAYES and De Grival walk about aimlessly.
Tweenwayes. _After a pause.'] What did they give you to eat ?
LiTTERLY.
Grilled bacon ---
Tweenwayes and De Grival.
Oh ! /
[They go oj^ quickly, below the hedge, Tween- wayes dropping on to his hands and knees and disappearing into the thicket.
LiTTERLY.
^Chuckling?\ Ha, ha,^ ha ! Ten pounds to a button they follow that path to the left instead of crossing the brook. I say ! Keep to the right, you fellows --- !
^He goes after De Grival. Directly he has disappeared, Noeline enters, below the hedge, leaning 07i Thomasin's arm.
Thomasin. How did you manage to come such a cropper ?
Noeline. Put my foot in a rabbit-hole.
THE AMAZONS, 75
Thomasin. What's your ankle like now ?
NOELINE.
Better. But my wrist --- I can't hold my gun.
\She sits on the tree-stump,
Thomasin.
^Placing her gun against the tree."] Poor old man !
NOELINE.
_Ii'olding her wristj] Don't mind me; go after Billy and Fitton.
Thomasin. Sha'n't.
NOELINE.
I'll pick you up in a few minutes. _Moving her hand.'] It's easier already.
l^There is the sound of a shot in the distance,
NOELINE.
That's Billy's gun.
Thomasin.
\To herself.] Oh, the sneak !
[Thomasin runs off unnoticed by Noeline. LiTTERLY reappears.
76 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
_Seei7tg NoELiNE and speaking to himself?^ My boy --- my girl --- my cousin !
\He rustles the fallen leaves with his stick,
NOELINE.
[ Without turning.'] Oh, do go ! I promise to join you in five minutes.
LiTTERLY.
\Appro aching her.] Eh ?
NOELINE.
[Rising^ with a gasp^ and facing him.] Sir !
LiTTERLY.
You --- you weren't speaking to me ?
NOELINE.
I --- I --- I don't know you.
LiTTERLY.
My name is Litterly --- Lord Litterly.
NOELINE.
_Staring at him wildly.] You --- Lord Litterly !
Litterly. You must be one of the Ladies Belturbet. Lady --- ?
THE AMAZONS, 77
NOELINE.
Noeline.
LiTTERLY.
I say, we're related.
Noeline. _Nodding, still unable to remove her eyes from him.'] Yes.
LiTTERLY.
There's no love lost between your branch of the family and mine. I suppose we don't shake hands ?
Noeline. Certainly not.
LiTTERLY.
No. I thought I'd raise the point.
Noeline. _Pulling herself together.'] I --- I am sorry to have to tell you --- you are trespassing here.
LiTTERLY.
Yes, yes, I suppose I am. [Strolling up to the gate.] I say, pretty park. Pardon me --- my bootlace.
life puts Ais foot on the bar of the gate and ties his bootlace.
Noeline.
\To herself clenching her hands."] How can he have found out I am the young fellow he carried home to
78 THE AMAZONS.
his lodgings. The cad, to take advantage of it like this ! My cousin too ! The cad ! Oh ! {Taking up her gun as if to go ^ then turning to Litterly, haughtily? I don't assume that you are ignorant of the way in which my mother has trained her children.
Litterly. No, no, don't assume I'm ignorant.
NOELINE.
Nor do I think it worth while to defend --- and to you ! --- the lives we live here. I must say, however, that I can see only one possible disadvantage at- tached to our mode of existence.
Litterly. Tailor's bills ?
NOELINE.
Litterly.
Lady Noeline ! Do stay a moment. I fagged down here thinking I was perhaps going to render some- body a trifling service.
Noeline. A service .? ^
Litterly. Just sit down a minute. Now do ! _Looking about!]
THE AMAZONS. 79
Take a --- _Pointing to the tree-stump.'] Take a stump. Do!
[After a momenfs irresolution, she returns and sits, defiantly nursing her gun.
LiTTERLY.
_Standing near her.] Thanks. This is how it comes about ---
NOELINE.
Do you mind going further off ?
LiTTERLY.
Not a bit. _Looking round.] Ah, the ottoman !
[He sits on the gate. During the scene which follows he watches her closely but playfully, telling his story with great relish. She lis- tens intently, with her back turned to him.
NOELINE.
\To herself, after glancing at him.] The --- utter --- cad !
LiTTERLY.
Lady Noeline, this is my little story. The night before last, as I was walking home from my club, a young gentleman, who had evidently got himself into some bother, ran straight into my arms and, having arrived there, stayed there. The poor young chap had fainted.
Noeline. Well --- ?
8o THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
I was puzzled what the dooce to do. He seemed a nice young fellow. I say, what would you have done?
NOELINE.
I --- I really don't know.
LiTTERLY.
I'll tell you what I did in the end. There was no one about ; I couldn't drop him into the mud or hand him over to the police --- could I .-*
NOELINE.
Oh, no, you couldn't have done that !
LiTTERLY.
No. I hailed a cab and took him off to my lodg- ings. He did seem such a nice young fellow.
NOELINE.
[ Writhing.'] Will you please go on with your story,
if you must tell it me ?
t
LiTTERLY.
Certainly. Where was I ? Oh yes --- he ^/?V/ seem such a nice young fellow.
NOELINE.
I don't want to hear what sort of a young fellow he
appeared to be !
THE AMAZONS. 8i
LiTTERLY.
No, no, it doesn't really belong to the story. Well, I took him home and carefully deposited him on the sofa.
NOELINE.
_To herself ?\ Cad!
LiTTERLY.
He was a good-looking Johnnie.
NOELINE.
Lord Litterly ! ---
LiTTERLY.
I beg pardon --- that's nothing to do with it. By- and-bye he came round. But I didn't succeed in making much of him, I fancied he was off his head, which reminded me that he'd lost his topper. So I offered to lend him a cap. I say, you should have seen the way he grabbed at it ! Then he bolted down my stairs and, in point of fact, hooked it. {Getting off the gate^ Now this is the story --- it was a new cap. He hadn't even said thanks for the loan of it, and that riled me. So down I went after him and followed his cab to a house in Chesham Street. Ha, ha ! What d'ye think of that ?
NOELINE.
I --- I fail to see the smallest necessity for you to
82 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
It was a brand-new cap.
NOELINE.
You might have known it would be returned --- [7i? herself ^ recollectitig?^ Oh!
LiTTERLY.
Well, I did follow him, and there it is. Now, not- withstanding his bad form, he still struck me as being a nice young fellow.
NOELINE.
{Rising ? I Q,2,rmot ---
LiTTERLY.
Yes, now I think of it, that does belong to the story. _Looking at her fixedly.'] He seemed such a nice young fellow that, somehow, I couldn't drive him out of my head, and next day I found myself hang- ing about that house in Chesham Street hesitating whether I'd go and bang away at his door.
NOELINE.
[ With her eyes averted?^ What for ?
LiTTERLY.
^Still watching her intently?^ What for ? Well --- there was the cap.
NOELINE.
A paltry cap !
THE AMAZONS. 83
LiTTERLY.
A ne7v paltry cap. However, I didn't knock --- I'm such a slow man. But early this morning I was in Chesham Street again and, while I was lolling against a lamppost, out you came with another lady, and got into a luggage-brougham. I say, it was an awful job; chasing that brougham to Paddington station ---
NOELINE.
The idea of your doing such a thing ! What an intolerable hberty ! yShe goes indignantly up to the gate, where she stands with her back to him.'] The mere idea of it ! Oh !
LiTTERLY.
[_To himself, watching her admiringly."] I say, she's glorious ! And to think that I carried that up seven-and-twenty stairs ! She hates me for it --- but I've counted 'em! _To her.] Lady Noeline, there's a look in your shoulders that tells me you'd like me to explain why I followed you. _She quickly changes her position, still averting her face. ^ The fact is I saw a strong likeness in you to that Johnnie, the sort of likeness a big sister might bear to a cub of a brother. And I felt an uncontrollable desire to have a jaw with you. [^Leaning against the trunk of the tree.] You know I didn't find out till an hour ago that we're cousins.
Noeline.
[Eyeing him furtively^ However marked the re- semblance may be between me and the individual
84 THE AMAZONS.
you picked up, you will find it difficult to justify your pursuing a woman in this way. Wanting "a jaw " doesn't quite do it !
LiTTERLY.
_Seriously?^ Lady Noeline, I thought if I could get five minutes' chat with the girl who bears such a strong resemblance to that nice young fellow, I could advise her to keep an eye on --- shall we call him her brother ? --- in future. I thought I might, through her, save that nice young chap from some day falling into another difficulty when perhaps there would be no me to pick him up carefully and take him out of harm's way. I thought perhaps I might convince him, through her, that the West End of London --- the Worst End of London --- at night-time is not a locality where even a self-re- specting cat may trust himself. And this. Lady Noeline, is how I come to trespass in Overcote Park.
Noeline.
^To herself^ in a low voice.] He's not --- such a caa. It's positively delicate of him to avoid referring to me point-blank. He can't be an out-and-out cad. iTo LiTTERLY, /ler tone slightly altered.] I --- I un- derstand now the service you wished to render and I --- I --- I quite appreciate your intentions.
LiTTERLY.
There' s one other small matter ; [ taking a ring from his waistcoat pockef] that Johnnie left his ring on my hearthrug.
THE AMAZONS. 85
NOELINE.
Eh ? Oh !
LiTTERLY.
[Examining the ring.] Rummy old thing it seems to be.
[They stand together for a time not speakifig^ he ha?idling the ring., amused^ she eagerly but irresolutely eyeing it. Then he offers it to her silently and she slips it hastily into her pocket.
NOELINE.
[Putting her gun under her arm.'] You --- you have taken a great deal of trouble ---
LiTTERLY.
Pooh ! not worth talking about.
NOELTNE.
Er --- er --- good afternoon. [As she is going she meets Fitton, and says to him.~\ Oh ! you've come back for me, I suppose ?
Fitton.
[Eyeing Litterly and speaking to Noeline.] Beg pardon, m'lord ; for interruptin' ---
[LiTTERLY strolls away.
Noeline.
Er --- Fitton, this is my cousin, Lord Litterly. A --- a sort of accident has brought him into the park ---
86 THE AMAZONS.
FiTTON.
Accidents will appen, m'lord.
NOELINE.
My mother would be extremely angry if she knew. Jo, I don't think it's necessary to tell her about it. {Impatiently^ Oh, come on !
FiTTON.
{^Detaining her.'] M'lord it beaint no good goin' arter t'others.
NOELINE.
What do you mean ?
FiTTON.
Lord William and Lord Thomas and me worked round from plantations to -Hexly Bottom, and just as we was all pickin' our way 'cross th' brook, darn me if we didn't fall over two other gentlemen !
NOELINE.
Jo!
FiTTON.
[Rubbing his head.'] Odd rabbit it if we get an- other shot this arternoon !
NOELINE.
Why, where are Lord Willy and Lord Tommy .?
FiTTON.
Walkin' about wi' 'un, talkin' to 'un ---
THE AMAZONS. 87
NOELINE.
[Going to LiTTERLY atid speaking hotly ?\ Do you know anything of this ? The keeper says there are two men in the park with my brothers --- my sisters !
LiTTERLY.
Lord "^weenwayes and Andre de Grival.
NOELINE.
Oh!
LiTTERLY.
They're with me --- I'm with them --- we're with each other.
NOELINE.
_Facing him indignantly 7\ You --- you --- you are precisely what I first thought you ! [She runs off,
LiTTERLY.
[Following her."] No, I'm not ! Lady Noeline, what is it you thought me ? I say --- !
' [Disappears after her.
FiTTON.
[Calling after them.'] You won't find 'em theer, I tell 'ee ! They be away by Hexly Bottom. [7ur?ii?ig away.'] Oh, dang it ! Boys will be boys, they do say --- lord, seems to me boys will be gels here in Overcote Park !
[WiLHELMiNA enters below hedge^ followed by De Grival.
88 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMIN/.
^To FiTTON, in a frightened tone.'] Jo, have you seen Lord Noel ?
FiTTON.
[Pointing off.] He's gone arter ye, m'lord, wi' another gentleman --- Lord Latterby or some sich.
WiLHELMINA.
[7^ De Grival.] Lord Litterly is with Noel. _Partly to herself.] Then Noel can't be so very angry with me and Tommy. _Taking Fitton aside?^ Fitton ---
[WiLHELMINA gives instructions to Fitton. Thomasin enters from above the hedge followed by Tweenwayes.
Thomasin.
[Leaning on the gate.] Billy, Lord Tweenwayes and Monsieur De Grival will take tea with us, of course. Don't forget,, extra cups and saucers to come down from the house !
WiLHELMINA.
I am ordering them now. [Stamping her foot.] You're making me do everything !
Thomasin.
[21? Tweenwayes.] Come on, Tweenwayes. You must see our new Hereford bulls. [She goes off.
THE AMAZONS. 89
TWEENWAYES.
_Hesitating at the gate --- to himself?^ She ivill take me to the cattle ! [27? De Grival.] Get away frcm here as soon as you can --- I'm coming back.
De Grival.
My friend, you must find some other place to make your love in --- I want it.
Thomasin. \In the dista?ice,'\ Tweenwayes !
Tweenwayes.
Oh ! [Going --- and saying to hifnsel/ as he looks at De Grival indignantly.'] Insolent ! Insolent !
[He follows Thomasin.
FiTTON.
^To WiLHELMiNA.] Don't 'ee be afeared, m'lord. I'll make it all right wi' Youatt. _To himself?^ You- att don't get no more game out o'me for his sister in Lunnon if he can't keep his mouth shut.
[FiTTON disappears ; Wilhelmina sits on the tree-stumpy a?id De Grival comes down and kneels by her side.
Wilhelmina. -Monsieur de Grival !
De Grival. [ With great fervour?^ Wilhelmina ! Ah, you are
90 THE AMAZONS.
adorable ! You are enchanting ! You are perfect ! Oh, you are --- you are --- you are pretty good !
WiLHELMINA.
[ With her handkerchief to her eyes^ Oh, it isn't kind of you to be so persistent !
De Grival.
Faint heart never won a fair-haired young lady ! Don' cher know !
WiLHELMINA.
But nothing, nothing would ever reconcile my mother to your nationality.
\She shifts her gun from one kjiee to another ; the muzzle chanci?tg to point towards De Grival.
De Grival.
My nationality ! Absurd trifle ! ^^Disconcerted by the presence of the gun. \ French by birth, yes. But English in my appearance --- English in my --- [^Ris- ing, going behind Wilhelmina, a7id kiieeliiig o?i her left.\ French by birth, yes. But English in my appearance, manner, voice. Do I not play your games, your golf, your cricket ? --- no, not your cricket! Do I not speak your proverbs --- "Set a thief to catch himself " --- all of them ? Do I not say " Damitall " in the smoking-room --- ?
WiLHELMINA.
Oh!
THE AMAZONS. 91
De Grival. No, I do not !
WiLHELMINA.
You don't fully realise the extent of my mother's prejudice. According to her notion, a Frenchman can never be a thorough sportsman ---
De Grival.
How wrong the notion ! For example, let her once see me riding in the paper-chase. In the paper-chase, nine out of ten, I am always --- always --- in at the decease. I ---
WiLHELMINA.
I assure you that would weigh very lightly with my mother. _Inadvertently she agaifi shifts her gu7i so that it points at De Grival's /<r.] Oh, please, please give up hoping, Monsieur de Grival !
De Grival.
\Again uncomfortable.'\ Give up hoping ! Give up --- do you imagine --- it is not poss --- ! _Rising, he takes the guji from Wilhelmina and places it against the opposite tree.'] Pardon me. Never play with edged guns.
[Tweenwayes e?iters quickly, followed by Thomasin. TwEENWAYES ope?ts the gate to let Thomasin through^ then closes it sharply and looks off.
Thomasin.
_Coming down to Wilhelmina.] Tweenwayes has been admiring our Herefords.
92 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival. \Knowingly.'\ Has he ? Ha, ha ! I laugh !
TWEENWAYES.
_Eyeing De Gjiival witherifigly.'] I should much like Monsieur de Grival to examine the Hereford bulls.
De Grival.
[Startled.] Ah !
Tweenwayes. Perhaps Lady Wilhelmina !
Wilhelmina.
\Goi7ig up to the gate.'\ With pleasure. Mon- sieur de Grival --- ?
De Grival.
_Uncomfortably?^ You honour me. [Tween- wayes opens the gate ; Wilhelmina passes through. De Grival follows^ then returns for the gun, saying to himself. ] In case. Prevention is better than being run after. [To Tweenwayes, insultingly in passing him.~\ Don' cher know !
Tweenwayes.
[Falling back.] Ah ! [Wilhelmina goes ojf fol- lowed by De Grival, then Tweenwayes climbs on to the gate, lookifig after them.] Insolent ! May they toss him like a common coin ! Insolent !
[He Joins Thomasin who is sitting on the stump, lighting a cigarette.
THE AMAZONS. 93
Thomasin. _Offering him her cigarette case.~\ Smoke ?
TWEENWAYES.
Thank you, no. We Fitzbrays do not smoke.
Thomasin. How a man can exist without it puzzles me.
TwEENWAYES,
We drink.
Thomasin. No ! What, too much ?
TWEENWAYES.
Alternate generations have the drink bias very clearly defined.
Thomasin. Where do you come in ?
Tweenwayes.
The predilection skips me. My father was called "Three-bottle Tweenwayes." But, in one way and another, he made a good deal of history in his time.
Thomasin.
It must be a bad business to be a tippling Tweenwayes.
94 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
[ Walking away a little annoyed?^ Pardon me, we don't think so.
Thomasin.
{^Following him.'] I say, Tweenwayes, I'm still thinking over what you've told me about this fellow, Litterly, following my brother Noel from town and intruding himself here ---
Tweenwayes.
Pray dismiss that topic for the moment. [For- mally.'] Lady Thomasin, for third time --- I love you.
Thomasin.
Oh, shut up. Tweeny !
Tweenwayes. We --- we are always listened to.
Thomasin.
[^Stamping her foot.] Oh !
[She goes to the gate and leans upon it, with her back towards him.
Tweenwayes.
\Walki7ig to and fro.] Lady Thomasin, it would be an easy task to descant on your beauty, your amiability. But, when I express my conviction that my family would regard our engagement with fa-
THE AMAZONS. 95
vour, it seems to me I say everything. Heavens, what a test to apply to a woman, and yet you emerge from the ordeal unscathed ! The Fitzbray legend runs --- {To himself ^^ Dash it ! how does it run --- ?
Thomasin.
{_To herself^ Of course, Tweeny's right --- the fellow must have been simply attracted by Noel's face. Confound him !
TWEENWAYES.
I Ve got it ---
" Search the south and sweep the north, Scour the east and spoil the west, Speed your emissaries forth To the fairest and the best. Storm the cities' topmost heights, Steal about the country side --- When ev'ry grace in one unites You will have found a Fitzbray's bride ! "
Thomasin.
\To herself^ The mater's often told us that those other Belturbets are outsiders --- !
TwEENWAYES.
{^Resuming his march.'] On the subject of my claims upon your esteem my own mouth is necessa- rily closed. But there's a sentence in a letter I re- ceived yesterday from my sister, Lady Clandunphie
96 THE AMAZONS.
[searching for a letter] which perhaps --- you --- ought to --- [finding it] Ah !
[He produces a letter^ and a large reading- glass in a case.
Thomasin.
\Eyeifig the reading-glass?^ Hullo, what's that machine ?
TWEENWAYES.
We have no sight to speak of. [Reading?\ " One thing, dearest Galfred, I would urge upon you, to guide you in your quest of a woman fitted to figure with you in history's page, and that is the constant reflection that you preserve in your own person all that is noblest and best of the mediaeval spirit." \Advancing to Thomasin.] Lady Thomasin ■ ---
Thomasin.
Look here, old man, we're delighted to see you here to tea while the mater's away, to show you the Herefords and all that --- but drop the rest. Even if I were inclined to turn myself into a girl, which I ain't^ the mater wouldn't hear of anybody but a man with a chest that 'iid take you the best part of the afternoon to drive round.
Tweenwayes.
[Putting away the letter and glass r\ Can it be pos- sible ! However, we have never hesitated at self- sacrifice. If you could suggest any easy means of muscular development ---
THE AMAZONS. 97
Thomasin.
By Jove ! Tweeny, if you did want to show what you're made of --- !
TWEENWAYES.
Made of ?
Thomasin.
This fellow Litterly --- our cousin --- who sneaks into our park after a pretty face ! You could do it, if you liked !
Tweenwayes. Do what ?
Thomasin.
You know a lot of bad language, naturally ?
Tweenwayes.
My grandfather was called Round-oath Reginald ! His swearing made history.
Thomasin.
I know some too, only the mater bars that. Well, when you come across Litterly again, you use yours, will you ?
Tweenwayes.
[^Apprehensively.'] To Litterly ?
Thomasin,
Certainly, tell him what we all think of his con- duct !
98 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
I --- I should have little hesitation --- er --- in ---
Thomasin. Good man ! \Running across to the right'] Hullo !
TWEENWAYES.
Eh ? Eh ?
Thomasin.
Here he is --- with Noel. [Tweenwayes hastily makes for the thicket?^ No, no, not that way --- over here.
Noeline and Litter ly enter below the hedge talking. LiTTERLY carries Noeline 's gun which he ulti- mately places against the hollow tree.
Noeline.
[^Embarrassed at encounte7'ing Thomasin and Tweenwayes. J Er --- Tommy --- this is Lord Lit- terly. _To Litterly.] My brother --- sister --- Thomasin.
[Litterly bows to Thomasin, who inclines her head stiffiy and then turns her shoulder upon him.
Thomasin.
\To Noeline.] My friend, Lord Tweenwayes. \To Tweenwayes.] My brother Noel.
[Tweenwayes bows; Noeline returns his salute haughtily.
THE AMAZONS. 99
NOELINE.
[ Taking Thomasin aside^ Why do you treat Lord Litterly, a cousin, so very coolly ?
Thomasin. \To NoELiNE.] How dare he come here!
NOELINE.
He chances to be the young man who was useful to me in London.
Thomasin. Gracious ! The creature who dandled you like a baby !
NOELINE.
Be silent ! He has the good taste to gloss over that. Where's Willy ?
Thomasin. With Andre de Grival.
NOELINE.
You're behaving like blackguards, both of you. Fetch your brother at once.
Thomasin.
[ Going through the gate.] Certainly. Our friends have tea with us, you may like to hear.
NOELINE.
Oh, the idea of such a thing
too THE AMAZONS.
Thomasin.
NOELINE.
It would be a marked impoliteness not to do so,
Thomasin. I thought as much !
NOELINE.
I'll box your ears to-night !
Thomasin.
Noel, if you domineer, when I get indoors I --- I --- I'll be perfectly uncontrollable.
NOELINE.
\Turning away.] Impudent fellow !
[Thomasin goes off. Tweenwayes advances towards Litterly, who is sitting on the root of the t?'ee.
Tweenwayes.
[Finding he is alone with Litterly.] Er --- Litterly
--- have you considered whether it is quite the act of a gentleman to --- to --- rove about a place where, for family reasons, it is obviously --- ah --- undesirable
--- eh?
Litterly.
My dear chap, I haven't thought at all about it. _Glaring at Tweenwayes.] Have you J
THE AMAZONS. loi
TWEEN WAVES.
[Mildly.'] No, / haven't. [He turns and goes
through the gate irresolutely looki?ig to the right. ~
Herefords !
[lie quickly turns to the left, and disappears. NoELiNE and Litterly approach each other rather constrainedly.
LiTTERLV.
_Looking at his watch.'] I say, Lady Noeline, is the four forty-five a decent train ?
Noeline. [Indijerently.] You return by it ?
Litterly. Bound to ; I dine out to-night.
Noeline. Then I won't press you to wait for tea.
Litterly. Tea!
Noeline. Tea comes down from the Hall directly.
Litterly. Hang the train ! It's only a man's dinner.
I02 THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
{Coldly. '\ You mustn't disappoint your friends. Good-bye. _He grips her ha?id tightly^ and she cries oul.'] Oh !
LiTTERLY.
What?
NOELINE.
[Holding her wrist.'] I have a sprained wrist.
LiTTERLY.
[Taking her hand again.'] I say, I am sorry! I'm afraid I --- _Looking at a mark upon her wrist ^ Hullo ! What's that ?
Nothing.
NOELINE.
N.
LiTTERLY.
My initial.
NOELINE.
LiTTERLY.
What's it doing
there ?
NOELINE.
I am sure you'll lose your train.
LiTTERLY.
Who put it there ?
THE AMAZONS.
J 03
NOELINE.
_Impatiently.'] Oh, when we were quite small boys --- Willy and Tommy and I --- we used to tat- too each other on wet days. The nearest way to the station ---
LiTTERLY.
[Looking at her wrist. "^ By Jove ! how did you manage it ?
NOELINE.
Oh dear, oh dear ! If you must know, there's a scrubby little plant with a scarlet sap, growing here at Overcote, that does it. [ Walking about, looking upon the ground.~\ It's early for it, but I daresay I can find you a sprout. [Plucking a root.'] Yes, this is it, I believe. [Breaking the stalk and showing it to him.'] There ! You simply make punctures and paint them with the sap. [He takes a sprig and examines it.] The nearest way to Scrumleigh sta- tion ---
LiTTERLY.
[^Looking at his wrist, then at her.] Would you mind carving something on me?
NOELINE.
I! [Drawing herself Up.] Really!
LiTTERLY.
I say, do ! I say ---
NOELINE.
{^Stamping her foot.] What a maddening trick
104 THE AMAZONS.
you have of saying ^' I say " ! Forgive me for re- marking it.
LiTTERLY.
I know; it's a rotten habit. I say --- {^Correcting himself. '\ I beg your pardon --- I mean, if you'd write me just one little letter ---
NOELINE.
Lord Litterly !
LiTTERLY.
On my wrist --- it would remind me to drop saying «I say."
NOELINE.
_JIaughtily.~\ I fear the habit must remain un- checked.
[She walks away and, with her back to him^ picks some more of the plant.
Litterly.
[To himself pulling the sprig to pieces^ She hates me like poison --- she hates me not --- she --- ! I've half a mind to pay her out for snubbing me like this. I could do it too, if I choose to tell her of that trifling little circumstance I kept back. Ha, ha, ha! Why shouldn't I? Ha, ha! She hates me like rats --- she hates me not --- [Ti? Noeline.J Lady Noeline ---
NOELINE.
^Not turning?\ Yes ?
THE AMAZONS. 105
LiTTERLY.
I say, there's something on my conscience I should like to get rid of before I go.
NOELINE.
On your conscience ?
LiTTERLY.
Well, when I told you the tale of my picking-up that nice young fellow the night before last, I left out one little occurrence ---
NOELINE.
You --- left out --- one little --- occurrence I
LiTTERLY.
It happened while his brain was wandering, just as we --- but, very likely, you wouldn't think it belongs to the story.
NOELINE.
Perhaps you will give me the opportunity of judging.
LiTTERLY.
With pleasure --- on one condition.
NOELINE.
What's that ?
LiTTERLY.
{^Tapping his wrist.'] That you'll write me that letter.
-io6 THE AMAZONS
NOELINE.
Certainly not.
LiTTERLY.
As a memorial of an awfully jolly adventure.
NOELINE.
And that would be the price of the omitted episode ?
LiTTERLY.
[^Turning up his shirt cujf.'\ The reserved price.
NOELINE.
I wouldn't pay it to buy the whole county !
LiTTERLY.
\Turning down his shirt cuffj] Episode bought in.
NOELINE.
[^Fiercely.'] Oh ! [Irresolutely."] You have really something to tell ?
LiTTERLY.
Honour bright.
NOELINE.
I --- I think your behaviour is infamous. [Draw- ing a long silver pin from her hair and approaching him.] You have no objection to this ?
THE AMAZONS 107
LiTTERLY.
{Turning up his cuff again.'] Delighted.
_She sits on the stump and he stands on her left extending his wrist.
NOELINE.
What letter?
LiTTERLY.
N will do.
NOELINE.
I prefer any other letter, please.
LiTTERLY.
Oh, N stands for lots of things. N's for nothing.
NOELINE.
\Angrily?[ Oh! ^She makes the punctures.
LiTTERLY.
{Sitting beside her.'\ You can't reach.
NOELINE.
{As she makes the punctures?^ This --- will be --- a vile --- N --- I promise you.
LiTTERLY.
[ Winciftg.l You must have been plucky kids to stand much of this.
io8 THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
_Becoming interested i7i her work?^ We were --- plucky kids --- as you express it --- Tommy especially.
LiTTERLY.
Tommy ?
NOELINE.
I remember --- it was on Tommy --- I used to make --- the most --- elaborate designs.
LiTTERLY.
Poor Tommy ! and have those frescoes faded ?
NOELINE.
I think you are the most inquisitive person I have ever met.
LiTTERLY.
Sorry.
NOELINE.
No, I wish they would die out ; they occasion such serious inconvenience now.
LiTTERLY.
Do they --- how ?
NOELINE.
Oh, really, if you will know everything, when Thomasin visits as a girl it is impossible for her to appear to advantage at dances or any low-necked function. [^Sticking the hairpin in her coat.] There ! \Rubbing the broken stalk of the plant upon his wrist.] I wish you joy of this N ! ^They rise.
THE AMAZONS. 109
NOELINE.
_Listening.'] I think the others are coming. What is it you left out of your story? Be quick, please !
LiTTERLY.
^Turning down his cuff?^ I shouldn't have men- tioned it only I think a chap who's fond of his mother must have a lot of good in him, and so it's no more than just to that Johnnie ---
NOELINE.
Fond of his mother ! Explain yourself !
LiTTERLY.
Well, after I'd carried him up those seven-and- twenty stairs ---
NOELINE.
[Clenching her hands.'] Oh ! Yes ?
LiTTERLY.
After I'd carried him up those stairs I stopped for wind on the landing. And it was then that nice young fellow sighed and groaned and put his arm round my neck ---
NOELINE.
He didn't !
LiTTERLY.
And called me "mother" in a whisper. He didn't know what he was up to, of course, but it showed his good instincts.
no THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
Any --- anything more ?
LiTTERLY.
One thing more. I couldn't stop his doing it, you know ; my own arms were engaged.
NOELINE.
Stop his --- doing what ?
LiTTERLY.
As he said " Good-night, mother," in a dreamy way, he kissed me. That's the incident. When's tea?
NOELINE.
Oh ! Oh !
^She turns upon him fiercely, deals him a sound- ing blow upon his ear, and walks away.
LiTTERLY.
^Looking after her.] Does the invitation to tea still hold good ?
[WiLHELMiNA, De Grival, and Thomasin come through the gate.
WiLHELMINA.
[ With De Grival timidly?^ Noel, may I introduce Monsieur de Grival ?
THE AMAZONS. in
De Grival.
[Advancing to Noel ga//anf/y.] Lady Noeline, I am charmed to be here not asked.
Thomasin.
[Opening the gate.'] The tea! _CaUing? Look sharp, Youatt ! Don't go to sleep, Fitton !
LiTTERLY is presented to Wilhelmina. Youatt and Fitton enter through the gate carrying a large square basket and some camp-stools. They open the basket and arrange the tea-things on the tree-stumpy Thomasin assisting^ while Litterly busies himself in placing the camp-stools. After the tea is laid Youatt removes the basket and takes up a position by the gate. Fitton goes off.
Thomasin.
[To Youatt, while tea is being laid.'] What's the matter with you, Youatt ?
Youatt.
[PFagging his head.] Oh, m'lord, what are we all a' comin' too !
Thomasin.
We're all a' comin' to tea directly.
Youatt. Oh, the disgrace to the Park
Thomasin. Youatt, if you ever breathe a word to a soul --- !
112 THE AMAZONS.
YOUATT.
Don't think it o' me, m'lord.
LiTTERLY.
_To Thomas IN, who is carrying camp-stools^ I say, let me help.
Thomasin. _Glaring at him.'] Thanks, awfully.
LiTTERLY.
[^To himself.'] The little 'un's no friend of mine.
Thomasin. [^To herself.] Impudent interloper !
LiTTERLY.
l^To himself] Rude little mess of tattoo !
Thomasin.
[Aloud.] Tea ! tea ! Come along, Noel ! Sit down, Willy ! There, you are, Monsieur de Grival !
_The girls sit upon the camp-stools^ the men upon the ground --- Noeline pouring out tea, with Litterly on her left; Thomasin is in the centre^ with Wilhelmina and De Grival on her right.
Youatt. \To himself 7] Ah, a sad stain on the Park I
THE AMAZONS. 113
LiTTERLY.
^To NoELiNE, wrapping his handkerchief round his wrist.'\ You observe I am stopping to tea ?
NOELINE.
_To LiTTERLV, disdainfully.'\ I can hardly avoid your doing so. Ah, please don't draw attention to your wrist in that way.
LiTTERLY.
_Putting his handkerchief away.'] I say, did my cousin Thomasin tingle like this when she was frescoed .? [ Wincing.'] Oh !
Thomasin. [Looking about.] Where's Tweenwayes ?
LiTTERLY.
Yes, Where's Tweeny ?
De Grival. Where is my friend Tweenwayes ?
Thomasin.
[CaHing.] Lord Tweenwayes! Lord Tween- wayes !
LiTTERLY.
\Calling loudly^ Halloa ! Tweeny I
De Grival. Tweenwayes !
114 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
\Jn the distance.'] Coming !
[^He crawls out of the thicket.
Thomasin. Tea!
TwEENWAYES.
\Sitting!\ Thank you.
[YouATT comes and hands the tea.
Thomasin.
_Quietly to Tweenwayes.] Tweeny, have you spoken your mind to Litterly yet ?
Tweenwayes.
I thought of waiting till I get him in town. We always deliberate before expressing our views.
Thomasin.
Well then, you must arrange with me exactly what you're going to say. Look here, will you and Andre de Grival come up to the Hall to-night, when it's dark, and have a quiet chat about it with Willy and me t
Tweenwayes.
Come up to the Hall !
Thomasin. Not to the door, of course. You'll have to lower
THE AMAZONS. 115
yourselves through a skyhght. I'll write you out instructions.
[TwEEN WAVES produces a letter^ teais off the half-sheet^ and gives it to Thomasin, who writes o?i it with pencil. There is the sound of the loosening of a string of WiL- helmina's guitar in the hollow of the tree,
De Grival. ^Starting up.'] " Ah ! What !
Wilhelmina. A string of my guitar !
De Grival.
\Taking the guitar-case from the tree.] Oh, you play, you sing !
Wilhelmina.
No, no !
De Grival.
_Taking the guitar from the case.] Lady Noeline, my dear Barrington, Tweenwayes --- persuade ! [Handing the guitar to Wilhelmina.] Don' cher know!
Litterly.
Lady Wilhelmina !
Noeline. Do, Willy.
Ii6 THE AMAZONS,
De Grival. _Entreatingly.'] Ah, if you like !
[WiLHELMiNA Strikes a chord.
TWEENWAYES.
\To himself^ writhing?^ We loathe music.
[WiLHELMiNA sings a simple song in two verses.
LiTTERLY.
^At the end of the first verse.] I say, charming !
De Grival. [In ecstasy.^ ' Ah, bravo, bravo ! Pretty good !
Thomasin.
[Quiet/y to Youatt, giving him the note she has written.'] Take this to Monsieur de Grival.
[Youatt gives the note to De Grival, who reads it. Wilhelmina sings the second verse of the song, and is applauded.
Thomasin.
[Quietly to Tweenwayes.] I've given Andre de Grival directions how to --- how to call upon us.
Tweenwayes. [Glaring at De Grival.] Why to him ?
Thomasin. Don't you like him }
THE AMAZONS. 117
TWEENWAYES.
We --- we are accustomed to take the lead in such matters.
NOELINE.
\To everybody^ Any more tea? Lord Tween- wayes, Lord Litterly, Monsieur de Grival ?
_The meji decline. Noeline rises, and t'hey all follow. Tweenwayes quietly disap- pears. Noeline and Litterly stand together. Fitton re-enters; he and YouATT replace the tea-things in the basket, fold the camp-stools and finally deposit them on the basket, then Youatt goes off through the gate and Fitton goes away to the left.
Litterly.
^To Noeline.] Lady Noeline, permit me to thank you for a most delightful day.
Noeline.
Delightful ! You are still nursing your arm, I see.
Litterly.
_Cheerfully.'\ My arm is exceedingly painful --- I wouldn't lose a throb of it.
Nueline. I --- I struck you, I'm afraid.
Ii8 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
There's a singing in my ear --- but it's your voice.
NOELINE.
Perhaps I --- I ought to apologise for losing my temper. Please forget it.
LiTTERLY.
No, don't deprive me even of the recollection of --- your temper.
WiLHELMINA.
[ To De Grival, who is replacing the guitar in the tree.~\ Good-bye, Monsieur de Grival.
Thomasin.
[^To WiLHELMINA.] No, no. Hc's coming up to the Hall by-and-bye with Tweeny, to have a smoke and a chat with you and me.
WiLHELMINA.
\Hor rifled. '\ Tommy !
NOELINE.
Now boys ! Where are the guns ?
\The guns are collected, and Wilhelmina, Thomasin, and Noeline stand together, guns in hand.
Noeline. We've just time to walk through Silverthorn Cop-
THE AMAZONS. 119
pice before dusk. ^Taking her place between Wilhel- MiNA and Thomasin.] Gentlemen, a final word --- \looking round.'] Where is Lord Tweenwayes.
Thomasin. [Calling.'] Tweenwayes !
LiTTERLY.
Tweeny
De Grival.
Tweenwayes, my friend !
All.
Tweenwayes
[Tweenwayes enters from below the hedge, A red flush suffuses his nose and cheeks.
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, dear !
Thomasin. Queer, Tweeny ?
Tweenwayes. We ought never to take tea.
Noeline.
Gentlemen, my brothers and I bid you good after- noon.
Thomasin. Good-afternoon.
I20 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
Good-afternoon.
NOELINE.
We have been extremely wrong in receiving you here.
Thomasin. {Emphatically. '\ Yes.
NOELINE.
You are almost equally to blame for permitting us to do so.
WiLHELMINA.
Ah, yes.
Thomasin. No doubt about that !
NOELINE.
We ask you to forget that you have entered Over- cote Park. In a few hours the grass will revive where you have trodden --- let that be a hint to your memories. Now be kind enough to leave the park at once. Good-bye.
_The men advance together and shake hands with the girls.
LiTTERLY,
Thanks for a splendid time.
THE AMAZONS, I2i
TWEENWAYES.
Most interesting day.
De Grival.
Ah, I have liked myself here !
\The men return to their places^ raising their hats as the girls go through the gate,
NOELINE.
Where's Fitton ?
Thomasin. Jo!
WiLHELMINA.
He'll follow.
NOELINE.
Come, boys !
\They disappear. Sunset appears. Litterly sits thoughtfully ; Tweenwayes and De Grival sta?td together, eyeing him.
De Grival.
[To Tweenwayes.] What to do ? How to give Barrington the slip ?
Tweenwayes.
[71? De Grival.] We simply leave the park now with him and walk to the station.
De Grival. Don' cher know ?
122 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
It will be easy to invent an excuse for our not sharing his compartment. For instance, he will smoke.
De Grival.
Ah, necessity is the mother of objecting to a smoking-carriage !
TwEENWAYES.
Just as the train is starting we two get out and speed back to Overcote.
De Grival. My friend ! How quick the brain
TWEENWAYES.'
We are seldom at a loss. {^Advancing to Lit- TERLY.] You catch the next train, I presume, Litterly ?
LiTTERLY.
\IndifferentIy7\ Oh, I catch it or lose it. \To himself?^ She's glorious !
TwEENWAYES.
\Annoyed,'\ De Grival and I catch it.
Litterly.
Good luck, old chaps. \To himself?^ She's splendid !
THE AMAZONS 123
TWEENWAYES.
It would have been pleasant for us all to have Anished the day together.
LiTTERLY.
Don't bother about me ; I may stroll about and go back later.
[De Grival and Tweenwayes retire and consult together.
De Grival. _To Tweenwayes. J What to do }
Tweenwayes. [ Vaguely. '\ We are seldom at a loss.
De Grival. Your plan has broken up.
Tweenwayes. Dash it, manage it yourself !
De Grival.
[Coming to Litterly.] My dear Barrington, our word to the ladies. Honesty is the best way out of the park. _Taking Tweenwayes' arm.'\ Tween- wayes and I now go.
Bitterly. \Risi7ig.'\ Oh, which way ?
124 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival. The way we entered.
LiTTERLY.
All right --- run along.
De Grival. [ To LiTTERLY.] Which way do you ?
LiTTERLY.
The way / entered. [ Waving his hand.'] See you soon.
De Grival.
[Waving his hand.'] A pleasant picnic together! Good-bye !
LiTTERLY.
[Taking out a cigarette.'] Ta, ta !
TWEENWAYES.
[Glaring at Litterly.] He drops us ! Insolent !
[TwEENWAYES and De Grival go off^ arm- in-arm^ below the hedge. Litterly espies Thomasin's note which De Grival has dropped by the tree.
Litterly.
_Picking up the note.] Hullo! ^Reading.] "Dear
THE AMAZONS. 125
and to talk about snubbing this horrid Litterly, who no one excepting Noef likes poking his nose about our park." Illiterate little beast ! [Resuming.'] " We can't entertain you tip-top, as it must be in our old shut-up schoolroom, but there will be a decent weed and, please Heaven, sloes in brandy. The following is the way in." [^Looking after TwEENWAYES and De Grival.] Confound 'em ! \Resu7ningr] " Skirt the lawn and make for East Wing. Clamber on to red-tiled lean-to outhouse. From there on to roof of dwarf tower. Find the skylight. Lift up skylight and drop through. Wait in the dark till we turn up. Tweeny has accepted. Keep your eye on him when on the roof as he is a bit gone over at the knees. Yours up to date. T. Belturbet." Designing little mass of tattoo ! - I say, by Jove, I'll play the dooce with these fellows !
[De Grival ru?is up^ scared^ hatless, and dis- ordered.
De Grival. My dear Barrington !
Litterly. _Slippifig the note into his pocket?^ Hullo !
De Grival.
We have encountered --- not a pirate --- no, no, a poacher. We are hurt.
Litterly. Where's Tweenwayes ?
126 THE AMAZONS.
TwEENWAYES enters. His hat is crushed down over his eyes^ his clothes are torn., and generally he pre- sents evidence of having been e?igaged in a struggle.
De Grival. [Embracing Tweenwayes.] My friend !
LiTTERLY.
_Pulling De Grival awayJ] What have they been doing to you, Tweeny ?
Tweenwayes.
Just as we got to the brook --- great hulking brute --- putting down nets --- never heard such language in my life --- wanted to know why an honest man wasn't allowed to earn a living. I said we never answered questions of that sort ---
De Grival. My head !
Tweenwayes.
Yes, yes, the wretch knocked De Grival's head against mine, twice.
De Grival. Three times.
Tweenwayes.
Possibly. I left off counting. Luckily somebody came up and enabled us to get away. A poaching beast !
THE AMAZONS, I27
LiTTERLY.
Come on, you chaps !
TWEENWAYES.
_Detaming Litterly.] No, no, don't interfere --- he's choking the keeper. [Litterly runs oj^.] Oh, it's a filthy park !
De Grival.
\Leaning against a tree.] My head is a very bad one.
Tweenwayes.
IFee/mg his leg.'\ We can't stand being knocked about. Heavens, this limb is injured !
De Grival. Did you see me kick him ?
Tweenwayes. Kick him !
De Grival.
The poacher --- I thought I had broken him.
Tweenwayes.
Fool ! that was my leg !
Orts, a most forbidding-looking rustic^ emerges from the thicket.
De Grival. \Tuming^ Ah I
128 THE AMAZONS.
Orts.
Theer 'ee be agen ! Git 'ee out of my way ! [Flinging De Grival to the ground and dealing TwEEN WAVES a blow which knocks him down.~\ I be a poor agricultural labourer. Gi' me all the goold you've got on 'ee !
TWEENWAVES.
[Emptying his pockets. '\ Oh, this is an atrocious park ! [Giving his money to Orts.] Go away !
Orts. Farmin' be bad in these parts, I tell 'ee. This beaint all !
TWEENWAVES.
[Faintly^ We never carry much loose money.
Orts. Then I'll blacken thy other eye for 'ee !
TWEENWAVES.
My friend changed a note this morning! Try my friend !
[Orts turns to De Grival, who commences to search for his money.
Orts.
[To De Grival.] I tell 'ee I be thoroughly de- servin' ! Thy goold ! Litterly enters from below the hedge, followed by
Fitton. He seizes Orts and pinions him from
behind.
THE AMAZONS. 129
LiTTERLY.
^To FiTTON.] Your belt, Fitton ! Do you know the scoundrel ?
[Fitton takes a strap from his waist^ and he and Litterly secure Orts's arms.
Fitton.
John Orts, m'lord ; a poacher since he were a babby !
Orts.
I be the sole support o' my mother, I be. Not a single Sunday marnin' sarvice 'ave I missed at Scrumleigh church this ten year.
Litterly. Now then, Fitton, what shall we do ?
Fitton.
_To Litterly.] If we make p'lice business o' this m'lord, it'll come out theer's been some rakes about th' park arter our young gentlemen. Folks will be talking.
Litterly.
{To Fitton.] That's true. Better run the scoundrel off the place and have done with him.
Tweenwayes.
SFaintly? Another moment and I should have had his name and address.
130 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
\To FiTTON.] Put my frienas on their legs. [TI^Orts.] Get on!
Orts.
^Going?^ I were i' th' church choir five year, singin' loike a cherrybim.
\He disappears^ 'Litt'e.kly following him.
FiTTON.
{^Raising Tweenwayes. ] Hey, thy left eye be a rum'un.
[Tweenwayes sits on the stump of a tree ; his eye is slightly discoloured, Fitton picks up De Grival.
Tweenwayes. {Almost in tears ^^ Heavens, what a park!
De Grival. \To Fitton.] A doctor very near ? Tell me.
Fitton.
If it be only bruises, sir, Bowser, High Street, Scrumleigh, Chemist and Druggist.
De Grival.
\To Tweenwayes.] My friend, let us go and be drugged. [Looking at Tweenwayes, who rises^ Ah, a great change in you.
THE AMAZONS. 131
TWEEN WAVES.
We scar quickly.
De Grival.
\Taking his arm.] It is a wise father who knows his own friend when he has such a bad eye.
[TwEENWAYES and De Grival disappear. After a brief pause, De Grival returns.
De Grival.
[Calling to Tweenwayes.] In a moment I come after you. [To Fitton, hurriedly.] Mister what- your-name, I did not rescue you from that pirate . --- that poacher.?
Fitton. [Touching his cap.] No, sir, that I swear ye didn't.
De Grival. No --- but it would not hurt you to swear I did.
Fitton. Well, sir ---
De Grival.
Listen to me --- [^Taking a handful of money from
his pocket. Tweenwayes re-entering unperceived,
steals down suspiciously, and stands behind De
Grival a?id Fitton, listening.] You go to Lady
Wilhelmina directly, at once. [Giving him money. '
One sovereign. You tell her of this aifair. [Giv-
132 THE AMAZONS.
ing him money.] Two pound. You say I found that poacher strangUng your throat. {Giving him money.] Another. You tell Lady Wilhelmina I kick him; I rescue you, I kick you --- no, no, I kick him again. I save your life, ah, bravely ! [Giving him more money.] Don' cher know !
TWEENWAYES.
^Coming between Fitton and De Grival.] Mon- sieur de Grival !
De Grival. Ah!
TwEENWAYESi
Permit me to say that, if any representation of this kind is made --- / --- I must be ---
De Grival.
In // .? [TwEENWAYES bows with dignity ?\ I have no objection.
TwEENWAYES.
[7^ Fitton.] You will see Lady Thomasin as well as Lady Wilhelmina. [Sea?'ching his pockets.] Monsieur de Grival and / found the poacher chok- ing you. This gentleman and 7, at great personal risk, preserved your --- heavens, that villain has my money !
De Grival.
Ah ! [Froduci?tg money and offering it to Tween- wayes.] I loan you.
THE AMAZONS. 133
TWEENWAYES.
\To himself, hesitating.'] Can I? {^Taking the money and giving it to Fitton.] You understand ?
FiTTON.
{Touching his eajf.] Yes, m'lord.
[TwEENWAYES moves away,
De Grival.
{To YiTTOi^i, pointing to Tweenwayes.] We now save your life, both of us, ah, bravely ! Don'cher know ?
Fitton. I know, sir.
De Grival.
{Going to Tweenwayes.] We reconcile each other ? [Tweenwayes reluctantly extends two fingers. De Grival cheerfully takes his arm again.^ My friend ! [ They go off. It is now dusk.
Fitton.
{Counting his money.'] Dang it, it won't do me no hurt tellin' a few lies about 'un. Two --- three --- four.
LiTTERLY re-enters.
LiTTERLY.
Where are my friends, Fitton ?
Fitton. {Pocketing the money.'] They be just gone.
134 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
_To himself, chuckling. '\ By Jove, I mean to play- Old Harry with 'em ! Ha, ha, ha ! _Sitting and holding his arm.] Oh, I say !
FiTTON.
Twisted thy arm, m'lord ?
LiTTERLY.
[ Taking out his pocket-handkerchief. ] Fitton, wrap this handkerchief round my wrist, as tightly as you can. \To himself^ Ho, ho, these fellows !
Fitton.
{^Looking at Litterly's arm?[ Eh, the scoundrel's hurt'ee !
LiTTERLY.
No, no. Lady Noeline was kind enough to do that with a hair-pin and a red root that grows about the park. Lady Noeline and I are cousins, you know, Fitton. Go on.
Fitton \Blankly?^ A red root that grows hereabouts.
LiTTERLY.
Yes. [Futtifig his foot on apiece of the root which iieson the ground.'] Here's a bit of it.
Fitton. _Picking up the rdot.] That ?
THE AMAZONS, 135
NOELINE.
\In the distance^ calling^ Joe ! Halloa ! Fitton !
FiTTON.
[Going to the gate.] The young gentlemen be on their way back to the Hall.
LiTTERLY hastily conceals himself behind a tree. NoELiNE enters.
NOELINE.
[Stopping at the gate.] Fitton, why do you leave us like this ?
Fitton.
[To NoELiNE, over the gate.] 'Scuse me, m'lord [showing the sprig he has in his hand], be that the weed you've been ruddling young Lord Latterby's arm wi' ?
NOELINE.
Who told you anything about that? Take my gun ; I'm going home.
Fitton. M'lord. this be the wrong stuff, I tell'ee.
NOELINE.
Eh?
Fitton.
The Red Root hasn't grown here at Overcote many a year. This 'ere be crimson snake-wort ; it be a rank bad poison, they do tell me.
:i36 THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
\Coming through the gateA Fitton !
FiTTON.
_Looking towards the tree.'] Sssh !
NOELINE.
Fitton, you don't mean --- to say --- I've really hurt my cousin's arm !
Fitton.
Lord Latterby, m'lord.
[NoELiNE sees Litterly. Fitton goes quietly away, Litterly advances to Noeline.
NOELINE.
lAgttated/y.] Oh, Lord Litterly --- !
Litterly. I say, here's a game !
Noeline.
A game ! Don't stand there looking at me ! Get out of the park ! Why did you ever come here ? Go --- go to Doctor Flack at Great Overcote ! Don't you hear me ? _Shaking him.'] Run --- run to Doctor Flack !
Litterly.
^Calmly.] Why, I've never been to a doctor in my life.
THE AMAZONS. 137
NOELINE. ^
\ Faintly^ You must now. _Clinging to him.'
Oh! oh!
LiTTERLY.
[Supporting her, soothingly.'] Don't ! don't ! Ah, I know how to hold you !
NOELINE.
{^Getting away.] How dare you ; I --- I hate ^ you !
LiTTERLY.
Do you ! Then I swear to go to no doctor
NOELINE.
Pshaw ! What do I care ! It serves you right.
_Going tip to the gate and opening it; while he sits
whistling. Then hesitating afid returning to him.~
Lord Litterly --- !
LiTTERLY.
Hullo?
NOELINE.
Won't anything make you go to the doctor ?
LiTTERLY.
Yes, tell me you don't hate me.
NOELINE.
[After a pause."] I don't hate you.
[lie 7'ises and clasps her i?t his arms. Thom- ASIN fz;^^ WiLHELMiNA enter followed by
FiTTON.
13B THE AMAZONS.
ft Thomasin.
^At the gate.] Noel ! [Noeline an^ Litterly
separate. Meeting Litterly and speaking fiercely. '
What do you mean by this ?
Litterly.
_Triumphantly .] Ha, ha!. Cousin Tommy !
\He throws his arms round Thomasin a7id kisses her. She screams in a very feminine way. He runs off.
Thomasin.
[Rubbing her face vigorously with her handkerchief and speaking to Noeline.] You --- you --- ! Do you call yourself a man ?
Noeline. No ! I'm a girl ! I don't want to be anything else !
[ She rufis off, through the open gate. Wil- HELMiNA, Thomasin and Fitton re- main looking after her.
END of second ACT.
The scene is a gymnasium at Overcote Hall --- a large apartment artistically decorated and fitted with gymnastic apparatus. Halfway up the room is an arch, which, supported on two pilasters, di- vides the ceiling from the sky-lights, A door on the left opens on to a passage, while o?t the right is the door of a spacious cupboard. A vaulting- horse, a suspended rope, parallel bars and a hori- zontal bar are prominefit features of the apart- ment, while there are also a settee, table, and upright pianoforte. The place is i7t darkness, but a faint blue is seen through the sky-lights and the large witidow at the end of the room. After a short silence, there are the sounds of melt's voices in whispers and the breaking of glass ; then a man's hat drops from above, and De Grival is seen descending, with difficulty, with the aid of the rope.
De Grival.
[In a whisper to Tweenwayes, who is above."] Tweenwayes, my friend, be careful ; it is not easy.
I40 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
^Out of sight. '\ Oh ! look out ! I'm descending ! [Coming down.'] Hold the thing ! hold it !
De Grival.
Hold where ?
TWEENWAYES.
[Nearly down.] The rope ! [He falls.] Ah ! [ Under his breath.] Fool ! fool !
De Grival. You are hurt !
TWEENWAYES.
[Crawling along.'] Heavens, yes !
[De Grival picks him up. Their appear- ance is very dilapidated. De Grival's clothes are soiled^ his hair has become lank, and there is a star-shaped patch of white plaster on his brow. Tweenwayes wears a small black shade over his injured eye.
De Grival.
One thing we may congratulate ourselves --- we arrive.
Tweenwayes.
Arrive ! How can I be certain that we have strictly carried out Lady Thomasin's instructions ? The mere idea of your losing that note fills me with --- [ Walking against the vaulting horse.'] Oh !
THE AMAZONS. 141
De Grival.
My friend, what is done cannot be made different --- [Coming into contact with the support of the hori- zo7ital bar.^ Ah ! damitall !
TWEENWAYES.
[^Examining the vaulting horse and the horizontal bar with the aid of his magnifying glass.'] De Grival, I have a shocking misgiving.
De Grival. Misgiving ?
TwEENWAYES.
Heavens, I believe we're in the Gymnasium !
De Grival. Gymnasium !
Tweenwayes.
Our instincts are rarely at fault. [^Coming against the parallel bars.] Oh !
De Grival. You are hurt ?
Tweenwayes. Yes.
De Grival.
But I remember Lady Thomasin's letter, every word of it. {^Holding his head.] " Clamber on to our old schoolroom . . . find a skylight in a roof ... lift up the tiles of a outhouse . . . climb on to
142 THE AMAZONS.
a tower . . . drop off and wait there till we turn up . . . yours, gone over at the knees, T. Belturbet."
[TwEENWAYES falls over the Indian clubs ; there is a great rattle.
De Grival. You are hurt again ?
Tweenwayes.
Yes. But wasn't there something about the West Wing? You said so.
De Grival. Certainly, the West Wing. Or the --- ah, I think !
Tweenwayes. You think !
De Grival.
My friend, pardon me --- I fear I have changed a wing !
Tweenwayes.
^To himself. '\ Fool ! fool ! {^Starting back as his hand drops on to the keys of the piano. \ Oh !
De Grival. You are hurt !
Tweenwayes. No, I am not !
THE AMAZONS. 143
De Grival. _ Joining him.'] What to do?
TWEENWAYES.
You may do what you please, Monsieur de Grival ; so far as I am concerned, this visit to Over- cote has come to a wretched close.
_II'e goes to the rope, attempts to climb it, and fails.
De Grival. [ Watching him."] Ah, you cannot !
Tweenwayes.
Heavens, it's beyond me ! [^Sitting on the settee despondingly.] What a horrible predicament ! This reminds me of many a page in our history. The dungeon, the prisoner. \Rubbing his shins.] Even the implements of torture !
De Grival.
\Sitting beside him in great dejection.] My spirits
go-
Tweenwayes.
We have no spirits.
De Grival.
\Taking his hafid.] My friend !
_A pair of legs appear from above clinging to the rope.
144 THE AMAZONS
TwEENWAYES and De Grival, Oh!
De Grival. \In a whisper^ What is it ?
Tweenwayes. Surely, legs.
De Grival. Ah, Wilhelmina !
{^The legs descend and Litterly is revealed,
De Grival. \Rising.'\ Barrington !
Tweenwayes. \Rising^ Litterly !
Litterly.
Hullo ! There you are !
[Litterly comes between De Grival and Tweenwayes. His arm is slung in a black silk handkerchief.
Litterly.
Now then, I should like to know what you've got to say for yourselves.
Tweenwayes. We never give explanations.
THE AMAZONS. \M
LiTTERLY.
\To TwEENWAYES.] You catch the next train, don't you ?
TwEENWAYES.
Really, this tone --- !
LiTTERLY.
It would be pleasant to finish the day together, wouldn't it? \To De Grival.] Our word to the ladies ! Honesty is the best way out of the park ! {^Taking Tweenwayes' arm.'\ Tweenwayes and I now go !
De Grival.
{Penitently?^ My friend !
Tweenwayes.
_Releasing himself.'] You may not be aware, Lit- terly, that De Grival and I are here in the position of invited guests.
LiTTERLY.
Oh, yes, I'm aware of it. {^Handing Thomasin's note to De Grival.] I picked up the invitation.
De Grival and Tweenwayes.
Ah!
Litterly.
And you may not be aware, my dear Tweeny, that that invitation directs you to the East Wing, and you are now in the West Wing.
146 THE AMAZONS
TWEENWAYES.
Monsieur de Grival !
De Grival. Ah, I commit an error ! Pardon me !
TWEENWAYES.
Never ! We never forgive an injury of this kind. ^To LiTTERLY.] How am I to get out.?
LiTTERLY.
The rope ---
De Grival. Bah ! he cannot climb it 1
TWEENWAYES.
Nor you, sir ! [ Under his breath?^ Insolent !
De Grival. You say so ! I try !
_He goes to the rope and attempts to climb it,
LiTTERLY.
[ Walking about ^ I've followed you fellows over about five miles of roof. Where the dooce have you got to? Why, I say, confound you, we're in the gym. !
TWEENWAYES.
I knew it ! I felt it !
THE AMAZONS. 147
LiTTERLY.
By Jove, this is too bad of us --- we really ought
to draw the line somewhere. \Pointing to the door.'
Isn't that the door ?
TWEENWAYES.
[Opening the door cautiously A passage. And lights at the end of it ^closing the door.
LiTTERLY.
[ Opening the opposite door.'] A cupboard.
De Grival.
[Half-way up the rope.'] Ah, I succeed ! I tri- umph ! I do it ! Don' cher know !
LiTTERLY.
Bravo, Andre ! We shall have to leave Tweeny behind us !
TwEENWAYES.
[ Under his breath.] Insolent !
[The electric lights are switched on, and the scene becomes suddenly bright, De Grival descends precipitately.
De Grival. Ah!
TWEENWAYES.
Heavens !
148 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
I say !
TWEENWAYES.
Voices ! voices !
LiTTERLY.
\At the cupboard door.~\ Look out, you fellows !
[De Grival runs into the cupboard^ and Iattkiy pushes in Tweenwayes, who is hesitating^ then goes in himself. After a brief pause, " Sergeant''^ Shuter enters. She wears a costume of coarse, dark material, a blouse, a skirt finishing just below the knees, and gymnasium shoes.
Shuter.
\At the door."] Now then, m'lord ! Where are the rest ? A quarter-of-an-hour late as it is ! [Thomasin, Wilhelmina, and Noeline enter. They are enveloped in long cloaks.] What's the matter with you this evening } You all seem as stupid as owls, every one of you '
Thomasin.
Don't you be cheeky. Sergeant, or I'll tell the mater.
Shuter. /'// tell her ladyship.
Thomasin. We're not inclined for the gym. to-night. There !
THE AMAZONS. 149
WiLHELMINA.
We --- we've had rather a tiring day, Sergeant.
Shuter.
[7^ NoELiNE, who is leaning dejectedly against the vaulting-horse.^^ Well, Lord Noel, if ever I did see anybody looking exactly like putty --- !
NOELINE.
I don't care what I look like !
Shuter.
_Clapping her hands. '\ Come along, now ! Key, please ! [Noeline locks the door and takes out the key. Bringing down the Indian clubs.'] I always have said that when your lordships come back from these wretched holiday-trips your muscles are like apple jelly.
Noeline.
[Throwing her the key.'] Catch and be quiet !
[Shuter catches the key and slips it into her pocket.
Shuter.
\B ringing down the bar bells.] If I were m'lady I'd stop visitings altogether. [Noeline sits on the settee i?i an attitude of despondency.] There's the re- sult of it ! I suppose you've been dancing half the night through in those petticoats of yours ! Ah, I wonder you like to wear such things ! {^Bringing
I50 THE AMAZONS.
down the dumb beils.l Now then, Lord Tommy --- Lord Willy!
[WiLHELMiNA /zThomasin hurry forward sulkily.
Wtlhelmina and Thomasin. [To themselves.] Oh !
Shuter.
[Turning up her sleeves^ Ten minutes' simple exercise to thaw the ice. Ready ? [Loudly^ Ready ?
NOELINE.
[Rising^ Yes.
Wilhelmina. Yes.
Thomasin. [Loudly.] Yes.
Shuter.
Come, my lords ! A good appetite for dinner !
[Shuter sits at the piano and thumps out a strongly marked tune. The girls take off their cloaks and throw them down angrily ; they are in elegantly made gymnasium dresses of different colours.
NOELINE.
[Pushing Thomasin.] There's no room for me here.
THE AMAZONS, ijl
Thomasin. {Obstinately :\ This is my place.
NOELINE.
You're a most ungentlemanly fellow.
Thomasin. Because I caught you kissing Litterly!
NOELINE.
What---!
WiLHELMINA.
{Coming between them with the dumb bells in her hands.] Oh, please don't quarrel again ! Don't I
NOELINE.
Never interfere, Willy !
Thomasin. Out of the way, baby !
[WiLHELMINA is pushed over to the settee^ where she sits crying and rubbing the dumb bells into her eyes.
NOELINE.
{To Thomasin.] At any rate, if I were to so far forget myself, I shouldn't be kissing a worm.
Thomasin. You allude to my friend Tweeny!
rp THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
[Swinging her clubs.'] You seem --- to have no doubt --- as to whom --- the denomination --- applies.
Thomasin.
[Fiercely, as she picks up a bar-bell. ~\ Noel, do you remember my dropping a forty pound bar-bell on to Shuter's toes, in the summer, by accident ?
NOELINE.
Clumsy ! Yes.
Thomasin.
{Lifting her bar-bell.] Well --- // wasnt an acci dent.
NOELINE.
Oh!
[Shuter abruptly discontinues playing and looks around.
Shuter. Well, I never --- ! you --- you --- !
Thomasin, Wilhelmina and Noeline.
All right. Sergeant !
\They commence their exercise. Shuter re- sumes playing, with an occasional glance round. Keeping one eye on Shuter, Thomasin gets nearer to Wilhelmina.
THE AMAZONS. 153
Thomasin.
[Speaking during her exercise to Wilhelmina.] Billy, I wonder when we shall get to Tweeny and De Grival!
WiLHELMINA.
_To Thomasin.] Poor fellows, how lonely they must be in the dark !
Thomasin. I hope Tweeny hasn't broken a leg or anything.
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, don't !
Thomasin. He looks a bit brittle.
[ Their exercise becomes languid.
WiLHELMINA.
It was awfully plucky of Andre, protecting Fitton from that poacher, wasn't it ?
Thomasin. And Tweeny !
WiLHELMINA.
I mean both.
Thomasin.
What did Fitton tell you about it ?
[ They cease their exercise altogether and, for- getting Shuter, sit on the settee side-by- side.
154 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
Why, Fitton said that Andre lifted the poacher high in the air, like a baby.
Thomasin.
That's right --- and then threw him to Tweeny who caught him ten yards off.
WiLHELMINA.
What did Tweenwayes do then ?
Thomasin. Shook him blue and chucked him back to Andre.
WiLHELMINA.
I shouldn't have thought Tweenwayes quite equal to all that.
Thomasin. Nor I Andre. You never know men.
WiLHELMINA.
\Sadly.~\ I suppose you oughtn't to. [Noeline's exercise has flagged by degrees ; she now sits on the vaulting-horse with her back to the other s^^ Just look at Noel !
Thomasin.
I s'pose Noel calls that club exercise --- / call it shirking.
THE AMAZONS. 155
WiLHELMINA.
Tommy, it's an awful thing to realise, but, after what we saw, there can be no doubt that Noel 1 --- 1 --- likes Litterly, eh ?
Thomasin. Doubt !
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, things are getting pretty serious at Overcote, don't you think ?
Thomasin.
Billy, old chap, dashed if I know what the dooce is coming over us all !
WiLHELMINA.
_Sighing?^ Ah !
[Shuter again suddenly ceases playing, turns, and rises.
Shuter.
I guessed it ! _In great commotion, the girls rush to their places and resume their exercise. '\ I've caught you ! Every bit of this shall go to m'lady. Now, my lords, no more nonsense, please ! Back with those toys !
_The girls replace the clubs, bar bells, and dumb bells at the further end of the room.
Thomasin.
^To WiLHELMINA.] We've made the Sergeant wild now !
156 THE AMAZONS.
WiLHELMINA.
And I've no chocolate in my pocket to get her round again !
Shuter.
[Gathering up the cloaks. '\ Wiping the floor with these things, too ! Isn't there a proper place for them? Lord Noel, Lord Willy --- on to the Bar, both of you ! Lord Tommy, thirty vaults without stopping for wind!
[NoELiNE and Wilhelmina spring on to the horizontal-bar and Thomasin comes to the vaulting-horse as Shuter, carrying the cloaks^ opens the cupboard door. The men appear ; Shuter, dropping the cloaks., ut- ters a yell of terror and runs over to the other side of the room. There is a general uproar., the girls scream., Tweenwayes running across the room is seized by Shuter and violently shaken. Escaping from her, he makes for the rope, where he meets De Grival, who has crawled under the vaulting-horse ; they attempt to climb the rope together., impeding each other's progress.
Noeline. It's Litterly!
Wilhelmina. Andre de Grival !
Thomasin. Why, Tweeny 1
THE AMAZONS. 157
LiTTERLY.
Hush ! hush ! Come back, you fellows ! Be quiet, everybody ! I say, do let me speak !
Shuter.
_Going to LiTTERLY and shaking him.'] Who are you all ? What are you doing here ?
[NoELiNE comes down quickly, places herself between Litterly and Shuter, and seizes the latter by the collar.
NOELINE.
You coward, Shuter ! Don't you see Lord Lit- terly's arm is in a sling ?
Shuter.
{^Staring at Litterly.] Lord Litterly ! Oh, my lord!
Litterly.
{Advancing to Shuter.] Hullo ! Why --- Letty !
Shuter.
Litterly.
I say, now don't upset yourself ! I am glad to see you ! \Kissing her.~
NOELINE.
_To Litterly.] Do you know what you're do- ing ? You're kissing our Sergeant !
158 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
I should think so ! Letty Shuter is my old nurse's daughter; we were brought up together --- Letty was married from Bambridge Castle ! _Kissing Shuter again.'] I should think I am kissing your Sergeant! _Quieily to Noeline.] Leave her to me --- it's all right.
[Thomasin, Wilhelmina, De Grival, and TwEENWAYES are talking together with much animation. Noeline joins them. Shuter sinks on to the settee holding her heart and panting ; Iati^^in places him- self beside her.
LiTTERLY.
I say, Letty dear, how jolly !
Shuter.
Jolly ! Oh dear, oh dear ! I'll never get over this fright ! [Pushing him away and attempting to rise.] You wretch !
LiTTERLY.
[Restraining her.] What, when I haven't seen you for years !
Shuter.
As if you came here to see me ! Who are the others ?
LiTTERLY.
My friends. Lord Tweenwayes and Monsieur de Grival.
THE AMAZONS. 159
Shuter.
My lords' sweethearts up in Scotland ! I've heard of it !
_She again attempts to rise ; he pulls her back and puts his arm round her waist.
LiTTERLY.
Letty, I'll tell you something ! Keep quiet ! [ Whispering into her earj] I say --- !
Shuter.
What ! Lord Noel ! [lie nods, laughing."] Oh, I won't help you, either of you !
[She again tries to leave him; he rises and stands before her, pushing her back when- ever she attempts to rise.
LiTTERLY.
Letty, be reasonable ! What are you frightened tibout t If I give you my word that I will person- ally be answerable for the perfect behaviour of your young gentlemen, will that satisfy you.
Shuter.
No
LiTTERLY.
Why, Lady Castle Jordan's away, isn't she ?
Shuter. She'll be home to-morrow.
l6o THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
But we don't intend to stay till to-morrow.
Shuter. I'll take care of that !
LiTTERLY.
That's right, always do your duty. {Looking at his watch.'] Now, at what time do your young gen- tlemen dine ?
Shuter.
A quarter-past eight.
LiTTERLY.
Then at a quarter to eight we leave.
Shuter. On your honour, m'lord ?
LiTTERLY.
Letty, on my honour! _She rises; he kisses her again and puts her back.] I am pleased to see you. Gentlemen, at a quarter to eight punctually, we clear out. I have pledged my word to that effect to my dear old friend, Mrs. Shuter. So, I warn you, you must make the most of your time.
Shuter. [Starting up.] No, they mustn't !
THE AMAZONS. i6i
WiLHELMINA.
{^Running up to Shuter and hugging her."] Oh, Shuter, dear, you've never been so nice !
Thomasin. _To Shuter.] Sergeant, you're a brick !
WiLHELMINA.
Come and talk to Lord Tweenwayes and Mon- sieur de Grival ; your mind will be so easy.
[Thomasin and Wilhelmina take Shuter to Tweenwayes and De Grival.
Noeline.
^To Litterly, very coldly. ~\ What did Dr. Flack say about your arm ?
Litterly. Rubbed stuff into it and made a frightful fuss.
Noeline. Oh, there isn't any danger, is there ?
Litterly. Not the slightest --- right in a week.
Noeline.
\Coldly again.'] I knew there was no occasion for you to be so alarmed.
{^She walks away, he following her.
i62 THE AMAZONS.
LiTTERLY.
I say, what have I done now ?
NOELINE.
Aren't you here /
LiTTERLY.
I came after Tweenwayes and De Grival. I didn't expect this would happen.
NOELINE.
As it has happened, you might have had the decency to shower your kisses on that woman in the cupboard !
LiTTERLY.
I would have done so if I thought that you ---
NOELINE.
Oh, I don't protest against the vulgar exhibition on my own account, but I have young brothers ---
LiTTERLY.
I kissed her with a motive ---
NOELINE.
I'm sorry to hear it.
LiTTERLY.
My old nurse's daughter --- !
THE AMAZONS. 163
NOELINE.
Fudge !
LiTTERLY.
Known her all my life !
NOELINE.
Do your sisters kiss the head-gardener's sons ?
LiTTERLY.
Yes. No ! {Following her,'\ I say !
{They sit together on the settee^ wrangling,
Thomasin.
{To Shuter.] Come now, Sergeant, you might oblige a chap ! They've been on the roof since six o'clock.
Shuter.
I'd ring the alarm bell first ! How am /to get a bottle of wine ?
Thomasin.
You could wheedle it out of old Parker.
WiLHELMINA.
Do, Shuter, darling ! {Taking her arm coaxingly.1 Monsieur de Grival is such a brave fellow.
Thomasin. So's Tweeney !
i64 THE AMAZONS.
Shuter.
If I foraged for anybody it would be for his lord- ship over there.
Thomasin. Litterly !
WiLHELMINA.
We'll give Lord Litterly his share --- do !
Shuter.
M'lords, if I fetch you some refreshments will you promise me faithfully to get into that cupboard and stop there till I come back ?
All. Yes.
Shuter.
No, no, not all of you ! Only my young gentle- men !
Noeline. We understand, Sergeant.
WiLHELMINA.
Of course we will.
Thomasin. Good man 1
Shuter.
Into the cupboard then ! Into the cupboard !
\The three girls hurry into the cupboard and close the door. Shuter unlocks the door that leads from the room.
THE AMAZONS. 165
LiTTERLY.
\Going to her?[ I say, Letty, 'pon my word you're a good sort.
Shuter.
I wouldn't do this for any living soul but you, m'lord.
_She waits, wiping her lips. He hesitates, annoyed, then kisses her. As he does so, the cupboard door opens and Noeline looks out.
Noeline.
[77? herself, indignantly?^ Ah! _As Shuter de- parts, LiTTERLY turns and sees Noeline.] Oh !
^She withdraws her head.
LiTTERLY.
_To himself?^ Spotted ! Just my luck !
De Grival.
\Excitedly?\ Ha, Tweenwayes, my friend ! we are on the clover ! {^Sitting at the piano,'] Ha, I enjoy myself like a deuce !
\He plays, rattling off a gay French melody.
Tweenwayes.
\To himself ?\ Thomasin is undoubtedly begin- ning to regard me with great warmth ! I've never felt quite like this in my life ; there's nothing I'm
166 THE AMAZONS.
not capable of ! [^Leaping on to the horizontal bar and swinging to and fro a few times ^ then crying out in pain, helplessly. '\ Oh! Litterly ! Quick!
LiTTERLY.
\Going to him and taking him down,"] Hurt your- self, Tweeny ?
TWEENWAYES.
Heavens, yes !
[ITe walks in a stooping posture to the settee and sits, doubled-up. Litterly knocks at the cupboard door.
Litterly. Lady Noeline ! Lady Noeline
Noeline. \From within. '\ What do you want ?
Litterly. Please let me explain !
Noeline.
{Opening the door, haughtily?^ Pray don't think that any explanation is necessary.
Litterly.
You see, if I didn't make it right with Letty Shuter --- !
THE AMAZONS, 167
NOELINE.
Oh! _Comi?ig out of the cupboard^ in her cloak^ shuttmg the door behind her.~\ Oh, how I long for a quarter to eight. Overcote --- the park --- our gym. --- I feel that nothing will ever be the same again !
[Facing about, he following her protestingly.
Thomasin.
{Popping her head out of the cupboardj] Here, Noel !
NOELINE.
Go back, Tommy, at once !
Thomasin.
I like that ! [Coming out in her cloak, shutting the door behind her and walkiiig across to Tweenwayes.] Sneak !
NOELINE.
[Laying her head on the vaulting-horse, despair- ingly, ] You see how I am treated ! Oh, I wish I could undo the past few days !
LiTTERLY.
Here ! I say ! Don't cry --- !
[They sit together on the vaulting-horse,
WiLHELMINA.
[Putting her head out of the cupboard.~\ Tommy * you know I can't bear the dark 1
1 68 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival. Ah, Wilhelmina ! Ah, my pretty girl !
WiLHELMINA.
No, no !
^He takes he?- hmid and brings her out of the cupboard. She is in her cloak. Thomasin and TwEENWAYES walk to-and-fro.
TWEENWAYES.
I assure you, Lady Thomasin, I attach no impor- tance whatever to the slight affray. We --- we ---
Thomasin. Slight ! The poacher carried a loaded stick, Fitton said.
TWEENWAYES.
Possibly. Yes, I remember dashing it aside.
Thomasin.
Lucky for old Fitton you and De Grival were on the spot.
TWEENWAYES.
\Annoyed.'\ De Grival !
Thomasin. Yes, didn't he --- ?
TWEENWAYES.
\WaviTig his hand disdainfully?^ My dear Lady Thomasin !
THE AMAZONS. 169
Thomasin. Why, Fitton gave us to understand ---
TWEENWAYES.
That De Grival --- ! Really !
{^They walk away as Wilhelmina and De Grival come forward talking together.
Wilhelmina.
Ah, Monsieur de Grival, we --- my sisters and I --- can't thank you sufficiently.
De Grival.
Ah, please no --- it thanks itself. Besides, how small a thing to do !
Wilhelmina.
To save a man's life ! Why, perhaps but for Tweenwayes and yourself, Fitton would have been ---
De Grival.
Tweenwayes !
Wilhelmina. Tweenwayes assisted you, Fitton told us.
De Grival. Ha ! I laugh !
Wilhelmina. But Fitton said ---
T70 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival.
Absurd ! I describe it. Fitton was on the ground, with no sense, when I kick him.
WiLHELMINA.
When you kicked whom ?
De Grival. Fitton.
WiLHELMINA.
You kicked poor Fitton ?
De Grival. No, no, I mean Tweenwayes.
WiLHELMINA.
Why should you kick Tweenwayes ?
De Grival.
Ah, I am not telling it ! I --- I --- kick them all ! Don' cher know !
\The attention of De Grival and Wilhel- mina, Tweenwayes and Thomasin is attracted by Noeline and Litterly, who are sitting on the vaulting-horse^ their heads are clos5 together and Litterly's arm placed lightly round Noeline's aist.
Thomasin. Noel!
THE AMAZONS. 171
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, Noel !
Thomasin.
Lord Litterly ! '
[LiTTERLY mid NoELiNE hastily dismount and face the others.
Litterly. Eh? What --- what?
Thomasin. {^Liste7ti7ig.'] Hark! Here's the Sergeant ! Get
back ! get back !
WiLHELMINA,
\In a terrified whisper?^ Oh, I didn't know I was out!
\The three girls hurriedly return to the cup- board ; Litterly throws himself full length on to the settee and whistles uficon- cernedly ; De Grival resumes his seat at the piano ^ playing with much energy ; TwEENWAYES rushcs to the horizontal bar and hangs there, without motio7i. Shuter . enters, carrying a tray on 7vhich are a bot- tle of hock, some glasses, and a cake. Lit- terly rises, takes the tray from her, and places it on the table. Shuter relocks the door and looks roimd suspiciously, then she finds Wilhelmina's shoe which, in the scurry, has bee?z dropped.
172 THE AMAZONS.
Shuter.
\Pickmg up the shoe.'] Ah, the deceitful young devils ! ^She opens the cupboard door ; Noeline re- enters the room ; Thomasin following her. Wilhel- MiNA appears^ timidly^ searching for her shoe. Shuter produces //.] You've been out !
WiLHELMINA.
I must have been !
Thomasin.
[Coming between Shuter and Wilhelmina.] Now then! Willy wasn't the first to break our promise. / was.
Noeline.
Nothing of the kind! /was! How presuming you are, Tommy !
Shuter.
Oh, you --- you --- you bad lot ! You --- !
[LiTTERLY has filled the glasses^ and now advances with the tray.
LiTTERLY.
Now, now, now ! We're all going to drink Letty Shuter's health.
Shuter. IMollifted.'] Oh, m'lord --- !
[LiTTERLY hands the tray from one to the other.
THE AMAZONS. 173
TWEENWAYES.
\To WiLHELMiNA.] After such stirring adven- tures, a glass of champagne is particularly accept- able.
WiLHELMINA.
It isn't champagne ; it's our dinner hock.
TWEENWAYES.
\To himself, bitterly?^ We hate hock !
\He sits moodily. The girls place Shuter upon the vaulting-horse,
LiTTERLY.
Now ! Bumpers ! We drink long life and a sec- ond husband to Letitia Ann Shuter !
Thomasin. Letitia Ann Shuter ! Good man !
WiLHELMINA and NOELINE.
Sergeant !
All. Sergeant Shuter !
\The toast is drunk with acclamation,
De Grival.
\At the piano again excitedly:] Ah, we are^ having a good time ! If we danced we should like it.
174 THE AMAZONS.
Thomasin. Yes, yes ! Sergeant, rattle off something for us !
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, no !
NOELINE.
Tommy, be quiet !
Thomasin.
" Binding the Wheatsheaf ! " The old dance we dug up at Drumdurris !
WiLHELMINA.
Oh, yes ! Shuter knows that !
[Shuter takes De Grival's//^^^ at the piano.
TWEENWAYES.
\Putting on some torn and soiled gloves. "^ We --- we are no dancers.
_They dance a quaint country dance, beginning demurely and increasing in energy as they proceed. De Grival is dancing alone, very wildly and fantastically, when the door opens a7id Lady Castlejordan, who has apparently opened the door with a key attached to her chatelaine, enters with Minchin. Lady Castlejordan stands as if stricke7i ; gradually the dancers fall back, with the exception of De Grival, who does not see Lady Castlejordan and continues dancing. Then he discovers his
THE AMAZONS, i75
position and bolts into the cupboard. Lady Castlejordan sinks upon the settee, look- ing before her with a fixed stare, and sit- ting motionless. Shuter is still playing gaily ; Minchin goes to her and taps her upon the shoulder ; she stops playifig, turns, rises, looks rouftd, and totters out at the door.
Lady Castlejordan. What is it ? Roger Minchin ! I'm going mad, I think. What is it ?
Minchin.
Lady Noeline, you are the eldest of three, I still hope not altogether worthless young women. But, upon my word, unless you instantly furnish some reasonable explanation of the presence of these gen- tlemen, I shall find myself guilty of wishmg that you had never been born.
Noeline. Mother, this is --- my cousin --- your nephew ---
[LiTTERLY comes forward.
Lady Castlejordan. IStaring at him.'] What's that you say ?
Noeline.
Lord Litterly rendered me a great service in London, though I didn't know till this afternoon to whom I was indebted for it.
176 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan. That young man at Overcote !
NOELINE.
He came here to restore me a ring I had lost ; he didn't find out until he had entered the park that he was at Overcote.
Lady Castlejordan. Cannot he make his own excuses?
LiTTERLY.
No, Lady Castlejordan, I can't; and I --- I --- I say, aunt Miriam ---
Lady Castlejordan.
Stand away ! Who are the others ? There are others !
Thomasin.
Mater --- mater --- Lord Tweenwayes --- begs me to present him to you.
Lady Castlejordan.
Tweenwayes --- ?
[Tweenwayes, who has been under the vaulting-horse, is now half-way up the rope. He bows from that elevated posi- tion.
Tweenwayes.
Lady Castlejordan, I rejoice to find myself at Overcote Hall. We --- we ---
THE AMAZONS. 177
Lady Castlejordan.
^To Thomasin.] I see ! The result of your stay at Drumdurris under Egidia's care ! I am mightily obliged to her !
TWEENWAYES.
I take the present opportunity ---
MiNCHIN.
\Enraged.'\ Come down !
[TwEENWAYES descends rapidly.
WiLHELMINA.
\Faintly^ Mother dear --- Monsieur de Grival ---
Lady Castlejordan. \Raising her head.'] What ! the other !
WiLHELMINA,
_Looking around^ Andre ! Andre !
[MiNCHiN Opens the outer door and calls De Grival. No one appears. The others call De Grival with the same result. Lit- TERLY enters the cupboard indignantly ; there is a short pause and then De Grival is shot out into the centre of the room. Lit- TERLY re-enters more leisurely.
Lady Castlejordan.
\Glaring at De Grival.] So that is --- the Frenchman ?
178 THE AMAZONS.
De Grival.
French by birth, yes. But so long educated in England : English in my appearance, manner, voice --- English to my backbone. Do I not play your games, follow your sport --- }
MiNCHiN and Litterly. Hush ! hush !
WiLHELMINA.
\To De Grival, presenting him formally?^ Mon- sieur Andre de Grival --- Lady Castlejordan, my mother.
De Grival.
[With a profound dow.] Ah, Lady Castlejordan, damitall ! [There is a general protest of " No .^"]
MiNCHIN.
Upon my soul, sir --- !
De Grival.
Ah, I do not say the right word ! I mistake it ! I despair!
MiNCHiN and Litterly.
Hush! hush!
De Grival.
I rave madly ! To-night I stab my throat ! Don' cher know !
THE AMAZONS. 179
WiLHELMINA.
Oh ! [De Grival is dragged back by Litterly.
Lady Castlejordan.
_Rising.'\ Roger Minchin, I wish to speak to my eldest child. Take these gentlemen away for a few moments. [Minchin beckoJis the men^ who quietly retire into the cupboard."]^ Noel ! \yi^Q,Yi.^ places a chair for Lady Castlejordan.] Noel, I went to town to receive a statement from Florence Vipont's maid, Dawkins.
Noeline.
Oh ! Treacherous creature !
^., Lady Castlejordan.
The woman declares you sallied out the other night in young Robert Vipont's clothes. Is it true ?
Noeline.
Perfectly. Surely j^z/ can have no objection to such a proceeding, mother ?
Lady Castlejordan.
Noel!
Minchin. _Shaking a finger at Lady Castlejordan.] Hah !
Lady CAgTLEJORDAN.
But you didn't return till early morning, according to Dawkins. You've never heard me say I like that in a young man .'*
i8o THE AMAZONS.
NOELINE.
No, mother, but I got mixed up in a street-fight, through protecting a girl from a brute who was go- ing to hit her. I punched him, mother !
Lady Castlejordan. What ? -
MiNCHIN.
You did ?
Lady Castlejordan. In the pubUc street ? Before people ?
NOELINE.
You've had me taught to do such things !
MlNCH^N.
Hah !
Lady Castlejordan. In the presence of strangers --- never !
NOELINE.
After I'd done it I ran away, and fainted in a by- turning.
Lady Castlejordan.
Fainted ! My --- son !
Noeline.
But, luckily, Lord Litterly came along and picked me up and carried me home to his lodgings --- ■
THE AMAZONS. i8i
Lady Castlejordan.
Oh ! My daughter !
[MiNCHiN joins WiLHELMiNA and Thoma- siN, and talks with them,
NOELINE.
This morning he recognised me in Chesham Street and followed me here to return a ring I'd dropped in his room.
Lady Castlejordan. {Pacing to and fro. ] Disgraceful ! disgraceful !
Noeline.
Yes, mother, it is disgraceful ! But it will serve everybody a good turn if it teaches us that, after all, your children are nothing but ordinary, weak, affec- tionate, chicken-hearted young women !
Lady Castlejordan.
Noel!
Noeline.
\Stamping her /oot.] No ! Noeline from this moment ! Noeline ! Noeline !
MiNCHIN.
Lady Castlejordan, I really think it due to Lord Tweenwayes and Monsieur de Grival that you should know they have stood you in good stead during your absence.
i82 THE AMAZONS.
Lady Castlejordan. Mr. Minchin?
MiNCHIN.
As the result of their perfectly inexcusable pres- ence in your park, old Fitton the keeper has been rescued from the murderous clutches of a most de- termined poacher ---
Thomasin.
Quite true, mater --- Tweenwayes may be bred a bit too fine, but, in an emergency, he's a demon.
WiLHELMINA.
You should hear what Fitton says of Andre.
Minchin. I'll enquire about this. _Hegoes out.
Lady Castlejordan.
Fitton or no Fitton, this shameful introduction of men into Overcote --- !
Thomasin. If we're boys, we must have pals !
WiLHELMINA.
The misery is we're neither one thing nor the other !
Lady Castlejordan.
In the gymnasium ! Dancing ! {Looking round^ And drinking !
THE AMAZONS, 183
Thomasin.
A bottle of Rtidesheimer. If one man can't give another a glass of wine --- !
Lady Castlejordan.
\Furiously^ Into your frocks ! Into your frocks !
WiLHELMINA, ThOMASIN and NOELINE.
Frocks !
Lady Castlejordan.
Into your frocks ! {^Sinking into the chair.'] And never, never, never come out of them !
[Thomasin and Wilhelmina^^ to the door^
WiLHELMINA.
^Sobbing?[ I --- I --- I've felt ashamed of my ap- pearance for ever so long ! 1 own it. \She goes out,
Thomasin.
_Rebelliously.'] All right, turn me into a girl ! But look here, I shall be just the sort of young lady that's likely to be an awful failure in the end !
_She goes out.
NOELINE.
[Pointing to the cupboard.] Mother, don't forget they're in there.
Lady Castlejordan. Ah, I had forgotten.
i84 THE AMAZONS,
NOELINE.
I --- I hope you'll --- like Litterly.
Lady Castlejordan. You hope I will like --- \juddenly\ do you ?
NOELINE.
Yes. _S he goes out.
Lady Castlejordan.
Noeline ! Come back ! Is it possible ? My brain reels ! [She goes to the door, opens and shuts it, then goes and opens the cupboard door. Calling sternly^ Lord Tweenwayes --- Monsieur de Grival --- Lord Litterly. [Tweenwayes appears, encounters Lady Castlejordan and retreats.'] Lord Tween- wayes !
[Tweenwayes appears again, bows appre- hensively to Lady Castlejordan, and sidles round the cupboard door. De Grival enters, bows to Lady Castlejor- dan, and edging away from her, joins Tweenwayes. Litterly enters.
Litterly. [^Meekly.] You desire to --- ?
Lady Castlejordan.
To demand that you instantly leave Overcote and to tell you that I can find no words in which ---
Litterly. Aunt Miriam --- !
THE AMAZONS. 185
Lady Castlejordan.
Aunt ! How dare you remind me of our relation- ship ! How dare you --- !
_Fausing and staring at him,
LiTTERLY.
Eh? You're not well ---
Lady Castlejordan.
Have you ever been told that you have your late uncle's eyes ?
LiTTERLY.
My father often says I recall his brother Jack.
Lady Castlejordan.
Why, if your hair wasn't quite so short --- and if it was curly just there --- and if you were an inch taller --- and hadn't such an odious town air --- oh!
[_She grasps his arms impulsively^ then falls back with an exclamation,
LiTTERLY.
Aunt!
Lady Castlejordan.
^Again grasping his arms. '\ Pardon me ! _Leav- ing him.'] Mercy ! His muscles are like my Jack's !
MiNCHiN enters.
1 86 THE AMAZONS.
MiNCHIN.
^To Lady Castlejordan.] My dear Lady Cas- tlejordan, Fitton happened to be in the game- larder. He certainly has told me a story of almost incredible dash and presence of mind on the part of Lord Tweenwayes and Monsieur de Grival ---
Lady Castlejordan.
^To MiNCHiN.] Yes, yes, yes. Mr. Minchin, don't you see an extraordinary likeness in Litterly to my Jack ?
Minchin.
There is a suggestion ---
Lady Castlejordan.
A suggestion ! Mr, Minchin, what --- what ought I to do ? \A deep gong sounds in the distance.
Minchin.
Dinner ! What ought you to do ? Begin at once to distract your girls' thoughts from the follies of the past ! Demonstrate with as little delay as possible that you can be a reasonable mother ! _Gla7tcing towards the men.^ Ask 'em to dine.
Lady Castlejordan. What!
Minchin.
They're all more or less injured ; they must be all more or less hungry ; be more or less hospitable.
THE AMAZONS. 187
Lady Castlejordan. No, no ; if I ask anybody it shall be only Litterly.
MiNCHIN.
Why only Litterly ?
Lady Castlejordan. He's so like my Jack ! He's so like my Jack !
MiNCHIN.
You can't invite one blackguard without the others.
Lady Castlejordan.
A blackguard ! When he is so like my Jack !
NoELiNE, WiLHELMiNA, and Thomasin enter dressed in demi-toilette for dinner^
MiNCHIN.
[Triumphantly.'] Hah ! hah !
Lady Castlejordan.
_To MiNCHIN, proudly.] Oh, yes, aren't they beautiful girls! \Addressing the three men.] Lord Tweenwayes, Lord Litterly, Monsieur de Grival, as you see, I am still in my early-morning gown. On the score of dress therefore I beg you will have no hesitation in giving me the honour of your company at dinner.
iThe girls, uttering little cries, sit suddenly upon the settee.
1 88 THE AMAZONS.
TWEENWAYES.
Lady Castlejordan --- !
De Grival. Ah, I shall delight to eat !
LiTTERLY.
You're very good, my dear aunt !
\The girls rise and gather round their mother^ kissing and embracing her.
NOELINE.
Oh, mother!
Mother dear!
Thomasin. Good business !
[LiTTERLY and Minchin meet and shake hands.
De Grival. [Flourishing the Indian clubs.'] La, la, la !
TWEENWAYES.
_Swingifig on the horizontal bar!\ We carry everything before us! {The gong sounds again.
THE AMAZONS. 189
Lady Castlejordan.
Lord Tweenwayes ---
[TwEENWAYES cotnes with great dignity to Lady Castlejordan. The girls fall back.
Lady Castlejordan.
Lord Litterly --- Lady Noeline. Monsieur de Grival --- Lady Wilhelmina. Mr. Minchin --- Lady Thomasin.
The couple fare formed, and all go out sedately
