Nothing Can Stop My Boys

WHAT INFORMATION

WHAT REVELATION

I AM A VIRILE MAN

I CANT BELIEVE THIS

I CANT CONCEIVE THIS

WELL, YES, I GUESS I CAN

I HAVE GOT THE BALLS OF YOUNG CLINT EASTWOOD

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGERS POISE

(whispered)

I PRODUCE A CROWD OF SPERM CELLS TOUGH AS

THE DIRTY DOZEN

(growing louder)

NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS

NOT MY BOYS

YOU CAN PUT CONDOMS,

LOTS OF THEM, ON EM

HOPING THEY WONT GET OUT

THEYRE ALL SO HANDY

MY LITTLE MEN DE-

CIPHER THE EXIT ROUTE

MARVEL OUGHT TO BASE A COMIC ON THEM

MAYBE WITH A LINE OF TOYS

CAPTAIN IMPREGNATION AS THEIR LEADER,

SHOUTING OUT PROUDLY,

NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS!

BUT WHAT IF ITS SOMETHING I CANT REPEAT

OR MERELY BEGINNERS LUCK

WAIT! DONT PANIC

DONT GET MANIC

MY BOYS COULD SINK THE TITANIC

IM LIKE A TRAIN NO,

LIKE A VOLCANO

SEEMINGLY STILL AND STAID

THEN WHEN I ERUPT

ILL MAKE YOUR DUTCH CUP

NOT WORTH THE PRICE YOU PAID

IF THE FDA FINDS OUT ABOUT

THESE MISSILES THAT I CAN DEPLOY

THEY MIGHT MAKE ME WEAR A WARNING LABEL:

HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED

NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.

USE AS DIRECTED

NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.

AVAILABLE BY PRESCRIPTION ONLY,

NOT FOR CHILDREN OR PREGNANT MOTHERS,

CAMPAIGNED AGAINST BY SALLY STRUTHERS,

NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.