Bachelor's Anthem

JOHN

LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

ALWAYS STAYED INSIDE HIS SHELL

HIS HAIR WAS A MESS AND SO WAS HIS DRESS

BUT HE PLAYED PIANO PRETTY WELL

NOW HIS DEAR DISTANT BELOVED LIVED A CONTINENT AWAY

AND YET HE LOVED THAT LASS SO FAIR

THERE WERE OTHER LITTLE LASSES

BUT SHE WAS A BLAST

AND GOOD REAR THEN WAS RARE.

HE WAS A BACHELOR

FREE-LIVIN BACHELOR

FREE-LOVIN BACHELOR

BE A BACHELOR.

CLIFF

LITTLE ALBERT EINSTEIN

WAS A MOST AMAZING LAD

HE ALSO DIDN'T CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT HIS HAIR

BUT HIS MATH WAS NOT TOO BAD

HE LOOKED AT A, B, C AND D AND THOUGHT HE'D STUDY E

AND THEN HE FOUND IT EQUALED M. C. SQUARED

BUT HE COULDN'T GO TO PROM

BECAUSE HE JUST HAD MADE THE BOMB

AND ALL THE GIRLS IN TOWN WERE SCARED.

JOHN/CLIFF

HE WAS A BACHELOR/NOW I KNOW

FREE-LIVIN BACHELOR/MARRIAGE BLOWS

FREE-LOVIN BACHELOR

BE A BACHELOR.BE A BACHELOR.

ILL BE A BACHELOR/YOU BE A BACHELOR

YOU BE A BACHELOR/I'LL BE A BACHELOR

WELL BE A BACHELOR BABY, BABY,

BE A BACHELOR.BE A BACHELOR.

CLIFF

(In a cockney British accent)

KING RUFUS NEVER MARRIED,

CAUSE HE NEVER TOOK A BATH.

JOHN

ATTILA THE HUN WAS IN LOVE WITH A NUN

BUT SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE THE CLOTH

CLIFF

POOR MARIO ANDRETTI MARRIED, SO DID J. PAUL GETTY

AND SINATRA GOT A ZEPPO SPOUSE

JOHN

AND IF HILLARY AND BILL HAD SPLIT

BOTH

YOU CAN BET WHO'D HAVE THE WHITE HOUSE.

(They pick up microphone-sized objects and begin to pretend to be rock stars)

JOHN/CLIFF

HE WAS A BACHELOR/NOW I KNOW

FREE-LIVIN BACHEL/OR MARRIAGE BLOWS

FREE-LOVIN BACHELOR

BE A BACHELOR.BE A BACHELOR.

(The boys rip off their shirts and swing them around while dancing on the furniture.)

ILL BE A BACHELOR/YOU BE A BACHELOR

YOU BE A BACHELOR/I'LL BE A BACHELOR

WELL BE A BACHELOR YEAH, YEAH,

BE A BACHELOR, YEAH!BE A BACHELOR, YEAH!