Pageant Queen

I'VE BEEN IN PAGEANTS SINCE I'S IN THE WOMB

MOM WAS PREGNANT AND WON MISS DOGWOOD BLOOM I HAVE A CLOSET OF SEQUINED GOWNS

AND SHALLOW THOUGHTS BENEATH MY RHINESTONE CROWN BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY

I'VE GOT A SHERRI HILL DRESS AND HEELS THAT SLAY CHORUS

I WAS BORN TO BE A PAGEANT QUEEN

MISS PIG JIG, MISS CRAWDAD, MISS COTTON PICKIN QUEEN

I DUCT TAPE MY BOOBS AND I VASELINE MY TEETH I KEEP MY SOCIAL MEDIA NON OBSCENE

NO SEX OR DRUGS I AM SQUEAKY CLEAN

SWIMSUIT COMPETITION MAKES ME A WORKOUT FIEND I WIN CROWNS, AND TROPHIES, AND SCHOLARSHIPS AND JUST LAST WEEK I WON MISS SHRIMP AND GRITS OF THE CAROLINA COAST

AND VERY SOON I'LL BE MISS ALABAMA GOAL POST SOME PAGEANTS MAKE YOU HAVE A TALENT

SOME GIRLS HAVE THEM BUT OTHERS HAVEN'T SOME TWIRL BATONS AND DO ACROBATICS

THERE'S TAP DANCING, SINGING AND BAD DRAMATICS MY FRIEND GRACE DID WHAT SHE WAS ABLE

HER MOMMA WAS A WAITRESS SO SHE SET A TABLE CHORUS

I WAS BORN TO BE A PAGEANT QUEEN

MISS PIG JIG, MISS CRAWDAD, MISS COTTON PICKIN QUEEN

I DUCT TAPE MY BOOBS AND I VASELINE MY TEETH

 I KEEP MY SOCIAL MEDIA NON OBSCENE NO SEX OR DRUGS I AM SQUEAKY CLEAN

SWIMSUIT COMPETITION MAKES ME A WORKOUT FIEND I WIN CROWNS, TROPHIES, AND SCHOLARSHIPS

BIG CASH PRIZES AND DON'T YOU KNOW

COLLEGE IS PAID FOR, AND ALMOST GRADUATE SCHOOL SAVANNAH'S MOMMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL

AH HA HA HA AH HAA......