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Prudence is a spoiled Victorian young lady, like Estella in Great
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(Recite like dialogue)
I’VE HEARD SUCH TRAGEDY FROM YOU
AND I’LL SHARE MY TRAGEDY TOO!
YOU SEE, I HAD A TWIN BROTHER...
A BROTHER QUITE LIKE NO OTHER.
THIS HARSH STORY EATS UP MY GUTS
FOR THE CHAP WAS A TERMINAL KLUTZ.
FROM THE DAY MOTHER BORE HIM, PELLMELL,
TILL THE DAY THAT HE FELL DOWN THE WELL,
EV’RYTHING HE WOULD LOUSE UP,
THOUGH HE BRIGHTENED THE HOUSE UP...
ONCE WE DRESSED UP HIS NECK WITH A BELL.
DESPITE MY BROTHER’S AFFLICTION,
PLUS SLOPPY WAYS AND BAD DICTION,
DEAR PRESCOTT WAS EV’RYONE’S PRIZE:
ALL BECAUSE OF HIS DIAMONDCLEAR EYES.
LIKE TWO PERFECT DIAMONDS THEY SHONE
SO ENCHANTING, YET ACCIDENTPRONE.
BUT THOSE DIAMONDS HAVE DIMMED OUT
AND OUR FAMILY SLIMMED OUT...
SO NOW I AM BUT ONE TWIN ALONE.
(Takes moment to catch her breath)
AND THOUGH IT’S VERY TRUE
I FEEL SO MUCH SORROW*.
(*Pronounce “sarr-oh”)
IT’S HARDEST TELLING YOU
THE WORST THING, BY FAR...OH...
(Pause)
IT’S NO FUN SPENDING LIFE AS A TWIN
WHEN YOUR DEAR OTHER TWIN HAS KICKED IN!
IT SEEMS LIKE OUR MAKER
TOOK BACK ONE FOOD SHAKER
AND THE PEPPER IS MINUS THE SALT.
IT’S NO FUN WITH YOUR TWIN DOWN THE WELL
WHEN YOU’D LIKE TO ENJOY THE NOËL.
MY LIFE IS A GRAY TIME
OF NIGHT WITHOUT DAYTIME
SINCE THAT HALF OF ME CAME TO A HALT.
I FEEL LIKE I’VE LOST AN ARM...OR TWO;
AND MISS MY TWIN AS CLODS PASS BY;
AND REALIZE BUT FOR MY GRACEFULNESS,
THERE GO I.
IT’S NO FUN SPENDING LIFE AS A TWIN.
LIVING UP TO THE DEATH OF YOUR KIN.
I FEEL INCOMPLETER
THAN RHYME WITH NO METER...
OR ROOMS WITH NO HEATER...
OR EGGS WITH NO BEATER.
WITH NO DIAMOND GETTING
THE MOST OF MY SETTING,
IT’S NO FUN
BEING ONE
LONESOME TWIN!
For licensing inquiries, please contact Michael Colby at Ludlow29@aol.com
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