I make you uncomfortable. Okay. Okay....

A Very Modern Marriage

Christopher

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I make you uncomfortable. Okay. Okay.
(beat)
Did I ever tell you about Eddie Dickerson? We were in high school together. Swim team jock. He was uncomfortable. He was so uncomfortable he spent two years tormenting me–just, you know–nothing exceptional–just the sh#t* you get being out at that age. Senior year, after... after calling me every goddamn name in the book for two years, that neanderthal sh#t finally wakes up, has this grand realization–and comes out. Kind of. M.N.D.
(off Matt’s confusion)
Mom not Dad. ...Anyway, we hooked up. High school in Port Jervis–not a lot of options. He was my first. Broke my cherry, my heart and my nose in the space of three weeks. Slammed my face into a locker when I told him I loved him. Sex was okay–fine to get your d#ck sucked*, but love? He freaked out. He slammed my face into a locker, and he called me a…
(beat)
You can imagine. And it–it sure as hell wasn’t the first time he’d called me that, but this time... he meant it. I’m so sick of people who are uncomfortable.

  • [alt lines for school productions, etc: substitute “cr@p”, lose sh#t after “neanderthal”, change line to: fine to get your rocks off]
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