And now ladies and gentlemen, for the mo...

And now ladies and gentlemen, for the most exciting two minutes in sports! The Kentucky Derby!....They’re in the gate...and they’re off in the Kentucky Derby!...Oh! Pants on Fire who was favored to win got bounced around at the start. Driving Miss Daisy looks good on the inside! With the twin spires above the Derby field races for that crucial first turn. Meet me in St. Louisville is out to set the pace! Kiss my Grits is gonna rate second in the center. Junk in the Trunk is up close racing third. May the Horse Be with You is in fourth inside at early going. Buck Naked Godiva is in fifth. Shockingly, the one-eyed wonder horse, Miss Patch is coming around the outside of the turn in sixth! Five furlongs now to go in the Kentucky Derby! Kiss My Grits has moved outside and is putting in a bid for the lead in just a half mile to go in The Run for the Roses! Miss Patch is gaining on the outside as well and is now poised to move past Buck Naked Godiva for fifth. In the backfield Til the Cows Come Home has started to muster up a rally. Miss Patch has now passed Buck Naked Godiva for fifth and is about to come up to threaten May the Horse Be with You for fourth. And she does! Miss Patch the one-eyed underdog has passed May the Horse Be with You and is now in fourth as the horses start the second turn! Miss Patch has cut the corner on the turn and now has her head firmly in the trunk of Junk in the Trunk! Miss Patch, not having depth perception with that one eye, just keeps moving forward with her face in the junk of the horse in front of her! Junk in the Trunk is not having it and moves to the outside while Miss Patch moves inside and now owns third place while Kiss My Grits and Meet Me in St. Louisville are neck in neck in the lead! One sixteenth to go! Miss Patch is digging down while Kiss My Grits wanders off the rail! Miss Patch has passed Kiss My Grits and is nose to nose with Meet Me in St. Louisville! Ladies and Gentlemen! The winner of the Kentucky is….. Miss Patch by a nose!!!

For performance and licensing inquiries, please contact AlabamaPlaywright@gmail.com