You know why men are constantly fighting...

Dreams in Captivity

Barry

See more monologues from Gabriel Davis

Text

You know why men are constantly fighting instead of working together to survive?

Simple. Man is mainly motivated to sit on his ass. Our greatest inventors are busy right now finding more ways for us to sit on our ass better. And when they make it, men will kill to sit on it.

​Wars will happen because every man wants the best Lazy Boy Recliner in the galaxy. AND I SELL IT.

I sell a deluxe Lazy Boy outfitted with massagers, heating pads, a cooling unit for drinks – it’s the closest experience of comfort a man can get on earth short of climbing back through his mother’s hoo-ha into the womb.

If it's a choice between that and helping you colonize space? No contest.

Sourced from the author's website Monologue Genie

All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only.

Videos

All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only.