No, I mean she wasn’t being your girlfri...

No, I mean she wasn’t being your girlfriend when she was telling me about that. She was being my roommate and my friend - and she is my friend - and sometimes friends talk to each other about stuff like that. And I get to talk to her about things like that, and I get to play Dynasty Warriors with her in my pajamas without you accusing me of f##king her behind your back. Which, incidentally... I’m not. And I can’t be her friend if I have to worry about offending you and your f##king property rights all the time. You may be my older friend, but I’m always, always going to side with the one who’s not making me pick