Anna, 23 years old, and Jon, 25 years old, have been married for five
You rescued me, Jon.
I just think about what my life would be if I never met you. I would be back in Gering. And I’d be married to Justin Carver or Benjy Macklin...or someone. And we’d have a house and my mom would be over every weekend. And I would be so content.
But I wouldn’t be happy. My entire life was on track to be fine. And you changed that. You made it possible to be more than fine. To be happy. I could never have known what I could be. Because you were braver than me. And you showed me a world where I could be my own person. Where I didn’t have to become my mom. And my sister. And every other woman I know. You did that. But I feel myself becoming them. Even here. And I need a way to be a me that isn’t just part of us. Because if I can’t, I don’t what I bring to us. I bring us to us. But not me.
I’m gonna die some day, Jon. I’m twenty three and that’s what I’m thinking about. That is what I lay in bed thinking about. Laying next to you. And without you the past two weeks. That’s what I think about. That I’m gonna die someday, and I will have skipped a whole part of my life. And fair or not, I can feel it--I’m gonna blame you. And I don’t want to. I want to live. With you. I was so sheltered when you came along. Don’t be the one that does that to me again.
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