Hi, folks! I’m Tap Kneejerk, here to wel...

Hi, folks! I’m Tap Kneejerk, here to welcome you all to SCREAM THAT THEME!

(Note: Every time TAP shouts “SCREAM THAT THEME,” every available cast and band member joins him.)

…the game show where members of our studio audience shout television theme songs at the top of their lungs to win glamorous and exciting prizes!

Today’s contestants have been chosen from our studio audience. Player One has a duck horn—give it a quack, would you, to try it out? (PLAYER ONE quacks)

Player Two has a bell—ring that bell if you please. (PLAYER TWO rings)

And Player Three has a whoopee cushion from Spencer Gifts! Give it a squeeze.

(PLAYER THREE squeezes the whoopee cushion)

All right! Ha ha!

Our own band, the Mellow Bunch, will play one of your favorite television theme songs. Please honk, ring or fart as soon as you think you know which theme the band is playing. When I acknowledge which contestant honked, rang or farted, that contestant will SCREAM THAT THEME!

The contestant with the most points at the end of the game will win a complete ’70s makeover and a walk-on part in the new hit revue, STREAKIN’ THRU THE ’70S.

All right contestants, are you ready to play SCREAM THAT THEME? OK, here’s the first Mystery Theme…