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Start: Don’t do it, Arty … Leave him...

Jay Kurnitz

Lost in Yonkers

Neil Simon

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Character
Gender
Male
Playing Age
Early Teen, Late Teen
Style
Dramatic
Act/Scene
Act Two, Scene One
Time & Place
Yonkers, apartment, 1942
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Youth (Y)/General Audiences (G)

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Text

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Start:

Don’t do it, Arty … Leave him alone, Uncle Louie. You want the bag open, do it yourself.

[... … …]

End:

Well, you’re no Humphrey Bogart … And I’ll tell you something else--No. That’s all.

For full extended monologue, refer to the script edition cited here: Neil Simon, Lost in Yonkers, in The Collected Plays of Neil Simon, Volume IV. Simon & Schuster, 1998, pp. 136.

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