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Henry IV Part 1

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 2
Playing Age
Young Adult, Mature Adult, Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Medium
Time Period
Classical
Time/Place
London, England, Eastcheap, Boar’s Head Tavern, 1400s
Act/Scene
Act Three, Scene Three

Context

Text

MISTRESS QUICKLY

My lord, I pray you, hear me.

PRINCE HAL

What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thy

husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Good my lord, hear me.

FALSTAFF

Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.

PRINCE HAL

What sayest thou, Jack?

FALSTAFF

The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras and had my pocket picked: this house is turned bawdy-house; they pick pockets.

PRINCE HAL

What didst thou lose, Jack?

FALSTAFF

Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds of forty pound apiece, and a seal-ring of my grandfather's.

PRINCE HAL

A trifle, some eight-penny matter.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard your grace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said he would cudgel you.

PRINCE HAL

What! he did not?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.

FALSTAFF

There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune; nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn fox; and for womanhood, Maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Say, what thing? what thing?

FALSTAFF

What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.

FALSTAFF

Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?

FALSTAFF

What beast! why, an otter.

PRINCE HAL

An otter, Sir John! Why an otter?

FALSTAFF

Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man knows not where to have her.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou!

PRINCE HAL

Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day you ought him a thousand pound.

PRINCE HAL

Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

FALSTAFF

A thousand pound, Ha! a million: thy love is worth a million: thou owest me thy love.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he would cudgel you.

FALSTAFF

Yea, if he said my ring was copper.

PRINCE HAL

I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as thy word now?

FALSTAFF

Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare: but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear the roaring of a lion's whelp.

PRINCE HAL

And why not as the lion?

FALSTAFF

The king is to be feared as the lion: dost thou think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an I do, I pray God my girdle break.

PRINCE HAL

O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson, impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything in thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of sugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a villain: and yet you will stand to if; you will not pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state of innocency Adam fell; and what should poor Jack Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I have more flesh than another man, and therefore more frailty. You confess then, you picked my pocket?

PRINCE HAL

It appears so by the story.

FALSTAFF

Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready breakfast; love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason: thou seest I am pacified still. Nay, prithee, be gone.

Exit Hostess

Now Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, lad, how is that answered?

PRINCE HAL

O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to thee: the money is paid back again.

FALSTAFF

O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a double labour.

PRINCE HAL

I am good friends with my father and may do any thing.

William Shakespeare. Henry IV, Part One. http://shakespeare.mit.edu/1henryiv/1henryiv.3.2.html

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