Scene Overview
- Female: 2
- Male: 0
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Context
The President of the Ladies Bowling Club is trying to recruit Victoria to join the team, now that Victoria is about to turn sixty. She is bossy and snooty, and completely unaware that Victoria has no interest in joining. She is also immune to the fact that Victoria is poking fun at her. The President’s bossiness makes Victoria react childishly. Victoria does not want to be seen as old and therefore rejects the President’s advances.
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Victoria: It does seem rather complicated...
President: Nothing complicated about it. We’re the Over-60s Ladies’s Bowling Club. We are famous for having some of the best ball work in the county.
Victoria laughs immaturely. Manages to turn her laughter into a cough.
Victoria: Ten pin or crown green?
President: Crown green, naturally.
Victoria: Naturally!
President: (looking Victoria up and down) You are perfect member material. A woman. An older lady like the rest of us and one who shares our passion for bowls.
Victoria: Bowels? I’m flattered but-
President: (examining Victoria very closely) You’re...almost sixty aren’t you?
Victoria: Fifty-nine and seven eighths actually...
President: You’re almost senior then.
Victoria: Almost senile?
President: And you’ll be eligible to be a club member very soon.
Victoria: Not sure I have the necessary requirements.
President: Good, we look forward to interviewing you formally.
She waltzes off.
Victoria: (calling after her) Do you want to strip search me as well? Don’t forget your ball-bag!
Links
If you are interested in licensing Stupid Old Cow for a full production, please contact Edward Chapman through his website
Edward Chapman's Wikipedia entry:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EdChapman(artist)
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