Overview
- Female: 1
- Male: 3
Context
The magical school, Dogwarts, is shut while a pandemic rages throughout the country. The students are taking their magical wizardry classes online and, in dribs and drabs, they have arrived for Professor Snope's first class. Suddenly, Professor Snope appears on the screen but he is having technical difficulties and keeps freezing. Finally, he gets the class going.
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WINNY: Professor Snope!
SNOPE: There will be no wand-waving or silly emojis in my virtual classroom. Nor do I have any tolerances for hashtags, tweeting, snap chats, or selfies. As such, I do not expect most of you to appreciate the subtle art of PowerPoint. However, for the selct few with a tech-savvy disposition, I can--
(Snope freezes. The students watch for a moment. Snope does not unfreeze.)
WINNY: Professor?
MALCO: What's wrong with Snope?
NEBLY: I think he's frozen.
MALCO: Someone cast a freezing spell?!
NEBLY: No. I think his screen is frozen.
WINNY: Can you hear us, professor?
MALCO: Oh well. A good time for a snack. Snobby? Snobby?! Where is that house elf when I need him?
(Malcos leaves his screen. So Nebly is alone with Winny and a frozen image of Snope.)
NEBLY: SO how long do you think we'll have to stay like this?
WINNY: I hope it doesn't last. I miss being in magic class... and eating in magic cafeteria... and going to all the magic dances...
NEBLY: Which, um, reminds me... Um, I wanted to ask you, if you know, if we go back to magic school, maybe you and I could--
(Snope suddenly unfreezes! Nebly and Winny gasp in surprise.)
SNOPE: I can teach you to download files, upload images, and carry on conversations from the comfort of your own home. Where's Malco?
MALCO: (Pops back onto his screen--his lips are covered with leftover goo from some treat.) I'm right here!
SNOPE: Behold, my students, I appear before you on this Muggle Telly, here to teach you the always delicate and sometimes deadly art of magical potions. Yes, it would be nice, if we could all be back in our delightful dungeon of a classroom; however, thanks to the Chimera-Virus, we are forced to wizard-in-place for the time being. So, let's make the best of it, shall we?
WINNY: Professor Snope...How long until they re-open magic school?
SNOPE: I don't know.
NEBLY: Will they cancel magic prom?
SNOPE: I don't know.
MALCO: Professor Snope, is it true that the virus began from muggles eating unicorns?
SNOPE: No, that's not true.
MALCO: My dad says it is.
SNOPE: Well, he's wrong. That's just one of the many rumors I've dispelled on my website.
WINNY: Snopes.com?
SNOPES: Precisely. Now, shall we take roll? I see we have our weasley Mr. Nebly. Our always prim and proper know-it-all, Ms. Winnifred. And our resident snob slash bully, Mr. Malco. But where is our new celebrity, Mr. Plotter? Absent again, as usual?
Links
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