(BARTHOLOMEW screams. Before them is a h...

The Quest of Queen Thomas

Child Bartholomew Giant

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(BARTHOLOMEW screams. Before them is a huge, horrifying-looking giant. The giant is reading a newspaper, bored.)

GIANT (without feeling)

Who dares trespass across my property? I shall eat you and grind your bones, yadda yadda. I’m gonna get you, etc. Murder you, probably, if you don’t leave.

BARTHOLOMEW

Well, on our way then! (Grabs CHILD in an attempt to exit)

CHILD (to Giant)

Excuse me, sir?

GIANT (putting down newspaper)

Uh. Yeah, what?

CHILD

Yes, excuse me?

GIANT

Are you talking to me?

BARTHOLOMEW

No, definitely wasn’t! We were just—

CHILD

Yeah! I was. Is that...ok?

GIANT

Er—sure, yeah. Usually people...run for their lives, but I guess it’s whatever. What’s up?

CHILD

Well, sorry to say it, but...well...you seem kinda out of it.

GIANT

Yeah?

CHILD

Like you’re not

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