...

CLIFF

Wow. She was hitting on me.

JOHN

Divonne? Don’t get mixed up with her, she doesn’t care about anything except theater.

CLIFF

I live and die for theater, too! It’s a perfect match. That’s the kind of girl I could marry.

JOHN

Marry?! Are you nuts? The biggest fringe benefit of being a theater major is the sex.

CLIFF

Then what are you doing hooked up with Anna? She’s not going to have sex until she’s married.

JOHN

Nah, she’s about to give in! I know how to handle a leading lady. You’ve got to be the boss, dear boy! Women want a brute, a caveman who’s going to knock them over the head and drag them back to the cave.

CLIFF

Who are you, Stanley Kowalski?

JOHN

Come on, boy, release your inner tiger. Give me a growl.

CLIFF

(making a weak attempt)

Grrrr.

JOHN

Weak... Try this,

(impersonating a caveman)

“Marriage Bad!”

CLIFF

(attempting it)

Mar..mmm....I’m too cerebral for this...

JOHN

Use your brain! Think of all the world-famous, class-A bachelors!

CLIFF

Like James Buchanan.

JOHN

Who?

CLIFF

James Buchanan, fifteenth President of the United States--the only bachelor President.

JOHN

No Geek Squad, I’m talking about real men:

(MUSIC STARTS)

Hemingway, Macarthur...

CLIFF

The Pope...

JOHN

Patton!

CLIFF

Liberace!