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The Sexton and the Sod

_OPAL BREATHES HEAVY. HER FIST POUNDS ON...

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Mature Audiences (M)
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 2
Playing Age
Late Teen, Young Adult, Mature Adult, Elderly
Style
Dramatic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
A Haunted House at an amusement park
Act/Scene
Act One

Context

Text

OPAL BREATHES HEAVY. HER FIST POUNDS ON A DOOR.

OPAL: (LOUD) HELP ME! PLEASE! (DESPERATE) HURRY!

THE DOOR OPENS.

RYAN: (CLOSE) What is going on out here? Sounds like someone’s being murdered.

OPAL: Oh, Ryan! Thank God!

OPAL SHOVES HER WAY INSIDE, SLAMS THE DOOR, AND LOCKS IT. A SOUNDTRACK OF FOREST SOUNDS PLAYS IN THE CENTAUR FOREST SCARE ROOM.

OPAL: There’s a gravedigger! He cut-off Becky’s head and hacked Monica to pieces! He’s coming, Ryan! We have to warn them! We’ve gotta get help!

RYAN: Wait. WHAT?

OPAL: Listen to me! There’s a …creature…with a shovel and a lantern…and he’s going to kill us all. We have to get outta here. We have to call the police!

RYAN: Now, wait a minute! (BEAT) Hey! Stop squeezing me so hard! Geez, Opal. That hurts!

OPAL: Larry – the guy that owns the place - didn’t he tell us to use the speaker system for emergencies? We’ve gotta find his office.

RYAN: Look, Mermaid…We Centaurs are just minding our own business and trying to scare a few teenagers in the dark. Look at me, Opal! I’m literally a horse’s ass throwing Styrofoam boulders at kids. Who’s that gonna scare! Am I right? So we’re feeling a little down on our luck in the forest, here – Then, you come around playing pranks. CLAPPING. Well bravo, Opal. We’re all very amused. Now, get out of here! Go back to your own room!

FINGERNAILS DRUM ON THE DOOR.

OPAL: NO! This isn’t a joke! He’s going to kill us! You’ve gotta believe me!

THE SHOVEL BANGS HEAVY AT THE DOOR.

RYAN: Ah! I get it! You’re not the jokester. You’re the jokee! Somebody’s pulling a prank on you, Opal. I’ll take care of this.

RYAN UNLOCKS AND OPENS THE DOOR.

OPAL: NO! DON’T!

RYAN: Alright! Who the hell are you?

THE SEXTON: (CLOSE) I am the sexton.

RYAN: What the hell is a –

THE SEXTON SLICES RYAN’S THROAT WITH HIS SHOVEL. BLOOD SPRAYS FROM HIS NECK.

THE SEXTON: I collect the bodies.

THE LANTERN SWINGS AS RYAN’S BODY FALLS TO THE GROUND.

OPAL: (SCREAMING) NO! RYAN!

WE FOLLOW OPAL’S FOOTSTEPS AS SHE RUNS, BRUSHING AGAINST AND PUSHING ASIDE THE FAKE BRANCHES AND FOLIAGE OF THE CENTAUR FOREST.

OPAL: (LOUDLY) SOMEBODY TURN ON THE LIGHTS! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! GET OUT OF HERE! THERE’S A LUNATIC!

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