There's a knock on the door...

(There's a knock on the door, and Mr del Giocondo enters).

Leonardo: Ar, good timing.

Mr del Giocondo: So, how did we get on?

Leonardo: Almost done (Leonardo turns the easel and painting to face the audience).

Mr del Giocondo: (Surprised) Oh!

Leonardo: I feel I've captured her… um, “beauty,” very well.

Mr del Giocondo: (Reveals painting to the audience by placing it on the opposite side of the easel, showing a perfect reproduction of the Mona Lisa). Dear Leonardo… this is really quite… quite… I’m almost lost for words… It's… horrible!

Leonardo: Horrible?

Mr del Giocondo: Mmm. Look, this is just another… boring portrait. Where's the… inner beauty?

Leonardo: What about the smile?

Mr del Giocondo: That's not a smile. Here I'll show you what a smile looks like…

(He picks up a brush and is about to begin painting).

Leonardo: (Quickly grabs the brush out of his hand). Please, Mr del… sir.

Lisa: Can I have a look?

Mr del Giocondo: No dear, it’s… it’s horrible.

Lisa: Oh! You know he almost made me suffocate myself!

Leonardo: I did no such...

Mr del Giocondo: …Now, now… stop your moaning Lisa. You just stay where you are.

Leonardo: So, you’d like me to change the smile?

Mr del Giocondo: Goodness me no… I want you to change the hair as well… and the background.

Leonardo: (Hopefully) But you like the nose?

Mr del Giocondo: (Stares at the painting thoughtfully for a moment) Hmm… maybe if you… get rid of the nose... And lose the hands too.

Leonardo: But, that’s a whole new painting!

Mr del Giocondo: Brilliant idea! But with, you know, more… (Tries to find the right word and gestures with his hand) ...WHAA, and less… (Tries to find the right word again) …you know, blah!

Leonardo: (Confused) Blah!

Mr del Giocondo: Exactly! Look, I've got another meeting. You know, I think I've found a way to print images onto fabric. With the right design, (Appears to look at himself in the mirror) we'll make millions. Ha, Lisa thinks in the future, everyone will have pictures on their outer garments… She's full of crazy ideas! (Speaks to Lisa) Isn't that right dear?

Lisa: (Inspecting her hands) Huh? I think I’m getting Small Pox!

Mr del Giocondo: That's a good girl. I'll be back before you can say... “Rheumatoid Arthritis.”

(Mr del Giocondo exits).

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