Overview
- Female: 2
- Male: 0
Context
Pam, who still harbors a passion for her former fiancée, Ken, is hoping to know more about Ken from Abby, who is entering into a romantic relationship with him. Pam’s hope is that Abby will share details with her since Pam engineered the two of them meeting and because Pam is Abby’s supervisor, having recently hired her at the large corporation for which they work. Abby is filled with uncertainties. None of her past relationships with men, the few of which there were, ended well – and she
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PAM: (holding a stuffed animal prize) When we have the applicants write sample answers to questions we get about this cereal or that? – your answers! – I mean, they need a little editing for style…but other than that, they capture something. (dabs at her nose with one of the stuffed animal, then:) You know what's going to happen, don't you? We're going to leave here just like I did last year. He won a bunch of stuffed animals hurling little sacks at fuzzy monster things. (wiping her nose again with a stuffed animal) Oh, God, my nose just won't quit!
ABBY: Allergies?
PAM: Mm. Dogs.
(Abby absorbs that but avoids reacting.)
PAM: But I'm not going to make the mistake I did then. Calling him my hero with beanbags. Allen thinks everything is about his testicles.
ABBY: Are my letters okay?
PAM: (taken aback a bit) Yes! They're wonderful!
ABBY: I didn't know you had to edit them.
PAM: That's for the bozos upstairs. God forbid something should sound like it came from a human.
ABBY: I could have edited them.
PAM: I'd rather have you cranking out answers. Better use of your time.
ABBY: I just meant...I can edit myself.
PAM: (chortles) Can't we all. It's what we spend half our lives doing. (a moment, then:) You and Ken seem to have hit it off.
ABBY: I like him.
PAM: That helps. He's nice. I've known him for years.
ABBY: You were engaged.
PAM: He told you that? Usually you have to get six weeks in before it comes out.
ABBY: You keep track?
PAM: (dabbing her nose) As a kind of hobby. It's fun because he's so predictable. Except with you. So far, you are tearing up the record book. You must have some secret.
(ABBY says nothing.)
PAM: Not saying, huh?
ABBY: (shrugs) Every relationship I've ever had – not that I've had that many – it's like they start off great, and then the limitations begin.
PAM: Tell me about it.
ABBY: Like when you said about having a secret. Anytime I share my secret with a man, the relationship starts to go south.
PAM: Don't I know it! Even with Allen, I find – my own husband! – the moment you start revealing who you really are, the eyes glaze, the doors close. They don't want to know.
ABBY: In my case, I think it's because I'm so bizarre.
PAM: Exactly. Me too! I think we all are! Which I suppose means we're all not, but... I just know that, deep down…I scare myself.
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