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CATHY: (Brushing her hair back from her brow with the back of her hand.) With God as my witness, I will never—never be poor again.

(SHE slumps to the floor. THREE STUDENTS are sitting in a semicircle around her. There is a fourth, empty chair. WHEATLEY is standing behind the students, holding a clipboard with arms crossed.) WHEATLEY: (After a moment to allow the melodramatic effect of CATHY’s peroration to subside.) Well? Comments? Criticism? Somebody? Anybody? Come on—you people are supposed to be our best and brightest.

PATTY: (Enthusiastically, as CATHY gets up off the floor and takes the empty chair.) I thought it was good.

WHEATLEY: “Good” and “bad” tell me nothing. Remember, your first job as a critic is to understand, then explain.

CHARLES: (Warily, in light of this didactic prescription) Um, I thought Cathy did a good job of getting into the character of Scarlett O’Hara.

WHEATLEY: A little better. But “getting into” sounds like artsy-fartsy jargon to me, pardon my French. Chris?

CHRIS: I thought it w-was a little over-r-r-wrought.

WHEATLEY: Okay. Now we’re getting somewhere.

CATHY: (Defensively) But I’m supposed to be overwrought. The Yankees have just burned down my plantation!

WHEATLEY: Chris—your response?

CHRIS: I m-mean, instead of just screaming y-you could have a tone of sadness in y-your voice.

CATHY: I wasn’t just screaming.

CHRIS: Forget it.