FRED So this is where you disappeared t...

FRED

So this is where you disappeared to.

LILLIAN

Fred!

(she turns off the CD)

You scared me to death! Sneaking up on me like that.

FRED

You’re doing brilliant stuff here.

LILLIAN

You didn’t come here to tell me that. I already know that.

FRED

Maybe I enjoy just watching you work?

LILLIAN

Deviant.

FRED

(in a dry, teasing throw-away comment)

You know you really want me. That’s why I never take off my shirt in front of you.

(Fred picks up some chalk, and he begins to add to Lillian’s formula)

What would happen to Sarah if I turned you heterosexual?

(Fred makes another addition on the board)

See that? Now that’s lovely. You did the big part, but without this on the end….see it?

LILLIAN

Nice.

FRED

Sarah called. Call her back, please.

LILLIAN

Why would Sarah call YOU?

FRED

She says you never check your phone. And I’m tired of being in the middle of all this. She can’t talk to you, so she talks to me. She’s got some very good arguments about sperm donors.

LILLIAN

Stay out of this one, boss.

FRED

She might just leave, you know? People have been known to do that, over things like this.

LILLIAN

She might just get over it, you know? People have been known to do that, too.

FRED

What’s the most powerful instinct in nature?

LILLIAN

Self-preservation.

FRED

Procreation.

LILLIAN

Not in my nature, boss.

FRED

Well, it’s in hers.

LILLIAN

God, Fred! You are ill-equipped, and I mean it in every possible sense of that phrase, to deal with this! This is my business. OUR business. If you want to be helpful, help me figure out what’s gone wrong with the experiment.

FRED

Something’s wrong?

LILLIAN

Mother Courage over here.

FRED

What…?

LILLIAN

227B. Take a look. She’s started to nurture.

FRED

What do you mean, “nurture.”

LILLIAN

She started feeding.

FRED

Why?

LILLIAN

I don’t have an explanation for it. Yet. Thought I might work on this end of the problem, retrace my steps, see where we went wrong…

FRED

But we didn’t go wrong! If we’d gone wrong, the whole group would be doing it. And you said it’s just the one, right?

LILLIAN

Just the one.

FRED

Well, then, we’ll have to dissect it.

LILLIAN

You’re not killing this mouse, Fred.

FRED

Lillian! You’re getting sentimental over a lab animal?

LILLIAN

Killing her won’t help us at all, not if it’s behavioral.

(Lillian erases part of what Fred added, and changes it)

What do you think, Boss? Think I might be on to something here?

FRED What you’ve got on the third line from the top? It’s wrong. It’s also…

(he checks his watch)

… my God, it’s nearly midnight! Take a break, Lill. Go call your wife!

LILLIAN

Will you let me work, please?

FRED

And how long will you be able to work if she leaves you? Since you met Sarah, you’ve been sober as a judge. The longest continuous period of time since…

LILLIAN

Oh, Christ! Is that it?

FRED

We work TOGETHER. That means if you can’t work, I can’t work.

LILLIAN

You said you were going to trust me. You’re finally sending me to a conference, alone, because you trust me to stay away from the bar and

FRED

Tell me that if she walked out tomorrow, you’d be here the next day, ready to work.

LILLIAN

Look, I know you need me.

FRED

Especially if the research starts going down hill

LILLIAN

It’s not going down hill, because I’m going to figure it out. If you’ll let me. Okay? And you call Sarah. Tell her I’m going to be i

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