Overview
- Female: 0
- Male: 3
Context
As their journey continues, Dan, Jared and Clint experience many nights of perpetual rain and are desperate for some non-soaked food.
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CLINT
The rain had been unrelenting for the past 8 days and we pushed through. And this strip mall in Versailles had one shop open.
DAN
A ray of light in rain filled world of despair. We were -
JARED
Wet.
CLINT
Exhausted.
JARED
Wet.
CLINT
Hungry.
JARED
Wet
CLINT
And wet. And the Subway in this strip mall in Versailles was still open.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Oh God. Uhm. Good evening and welcome to Subway.
CLINT
Six beautiful words.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Hello? Good evening and welcome to Subway.
CLINT
Now that’s poetry.
JARED
Dry. It’s dry in here.
CLINT
And clean.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Uh - guys? Good evening and welcome to Subway. Like how can I help you?
CLINT
Yeah. Right. Uh give us a minute.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
We’re like about to close.
JARED
Right, we’ll just be a minute.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
The register is like controlled out of central. We’re closing in like 10 9 8...
JARED
Right Right. Uh, just a minute.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
...5 4 3...
JARED
I’ll have a -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
...2 1 Ding.
JARED
A Cold Cut combo.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
We’re closed.
CLINT
But -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Nothing I can do.
JARED
But -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Really. See it’s like locked.
JARED
But the food isn’t.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
But it’s inventoried at the end of like every day.
JARED
But its “like” right there.
CLINT
Jared.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I know but - if the amount of food doesn’t like equal the amount in the register, I get totally docked for it. I get a letter from Carl Winchester who is the head of HR saying I don’t have the right “Subway Spirit” or something like that.
JARED
What if we pay you for it?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
It doesn’t work that way. If the food is like gone tonight - and there is no cash in the register tonight then if I put it in tomorrow - well, Central - specifically Carl Winchester - will have my ass.
CLINT
What if we robbed you?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Feel free. But we’re like on camera.
RANDY SMITH waves at the camera.
JARED
Robbery is not a solution Clint.
CLINT
I am so friggin’ hungry.
JARED
We’ll find someplace else.
CLINT
I am so friggin’ wet.
JARED
There’ll be a diner.
CLINT
I am so friggin’ tired.
JARED
There there, little man. It’ll be over soon. We’ll get dry. We’ll rest. We’ll eat.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Oh Jesus. Look - Are you guys like murderers or anything?
CLINT
Do we look like murderers?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
The truth?
CLINT
Yeah.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Well yeah. You don’t look like you have any money. You smell like... like you don’t have any money. And there are three of you and one of me. So like yeah, you look like murderers to me.
JARED
Listen uh - Rundy
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Randy. They misspelled my name for the name tag - I’m getting a new one next week, so they say.
JARED
Randy then. We’re riding cross country to the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield Massachusetts and we’ve been riding in the rain for more than a week. And we’re wiped.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I can see that.
CLINT
We just need food.
JARED
And somewhere dry to get out of this damned rain.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I hear you. I do. But my hands are tied.
JARED
Yeah. It’s OK.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
And I gotta close up.
JARED
The situation isn’t your fault. We get it.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
(resignedly)
OK.
CLINT
OK what?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I live two blocks from here. I got a cold pizza in the fridge. And like maybe some other food. I have wall-to-wall carpeting so you can sleep on my floor. And I have a shower with plenty of hot water.
CLINT
I love you man.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Yeah whatever. Sit there. Give me like 10 minutes to close up and we’ll go. OK?
RANDY SMITH looks up at the camera.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
On second thought you’d better wait outside. Mr Winchester frowns on after-hours visitors.
JARED
A short time later we followed Rundy -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
RANDY.
JARED
OK, Randy. - To his apartment and settled in. He heated up the pizza while we took turns cleaning up. We used the washer at the end of his hall to do a laundry. It was totally like staying at a Hampton Inn. It was great.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
So there’s cornflakes in the cupboard if you want some of them.
CLINT
Cornflakes and pizza?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
In case you’re like still hungry.
JARED
You’ve got a well stocked kitchen.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Yeah. Jean did that.
CLINT
Jean?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
My ex-girlfriend. We broke up two days ago.
CLINT
Whose fault?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Well if you like listen to her, it’s totally my fault but it really is totally her fault.
JARED
So really no one is too blame - just one of those things.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
No, it’s totally her fault. Weren’t you like listening?
JARED
Well yeah, but if both parties feel it’s the other’s fault it really isn’t -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Man, you’re like eating my fucking pizza.
JARED
I’m just saying that -
CLINT
It’s her fault. That’s what you’re saying, OK Jere?
JARED
Her fault. Totally.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Damn straight like one day everything is fine and then like the next everything is like: you’ve got no ambition. You work at Subway. You’re not even a manager. And I’m like: I work at a Subway. I was working there when we met - it was good enough then - like why isn’t it good enough now? And she’s all like it was good when you’re like 18 but when you’re like 21 you need to be like - better. Like she’s better or something.
JARED
What does she do?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
She’s working over at Wal-Mart. She’s the assistant manager of the women’s clothing or purses or something like that. Total corporate whore now.
CLINT
I so know what that’s about. My ex, Kate, took a real estate course and she’s now friggin’ Ms Century 21 for the month of March.
JARED
To be fair -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
If she loves me likes she says she did then she should love me no matter what I do.
JARED
Right but, it’s not out of the question for her to want you to want something more than what you have?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I have cable. I’ve got broadband. I’ve got an apartment. What more does she need?
JARED
Well, maybe -
CLINT
Jared, you so don’t get it. You live with these chicks and they say everything’s great and then slowly they want to change you. Slowly they want you to be on their side and then you like lose your total identity.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
You like get it.
CLINT
Yeah I like get it. You know if she would just say upfront: you’ve got the basics but I’m gonna need you to improve. I would totally respect that.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Totally.
CLINT
But they don’t.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
They totally don’t.
CLINT
Like totally.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Like totally.
JARED
Totally.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Dude, your friend there -
CLINT
Yeah totally. Jere?
JARED
Yeah?
CLINT
Dude.
JARED
Yeah?
CLINT
Chill.
JARED
Totally.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I don’t think you understand what it’s like. How hard it is. You go to college?
JARED
Yeah. I got my degree in -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Yeah whatever. I didn’t.
JARED:
It’s not too late -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
It’s totally too late. What am I going to study in college? Sandwich making? Porn surfing ?
CLINT
You’re more than that.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Yeah? I am?
CLINT
Yeah. You can be -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
What?
CLINT
I dunno. What do you enjoy?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Sports and Porn.
CLINT
Yeah I know that but what else - you know like when you’re alone what do you think about?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
You’re startin to sound like her. Back off.
JARED
What Clint means is -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I know the friggin’ Oprah drill here. Just like cool it.
JARED
Look you’re working in a Subway. If you like it then that’s great; but if you don’t you have to try and think about what it is that you do like. That’s all. It’s not Oprah. Jeesh.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
Like you know so much?
JARED
That’s not what I’m saying.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I don’t need a - like, you’re on this trip with this friggin’ basketball and you think that you have all the time in the world.
CLINT
Dude.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I’ve got nothing. You think I don’t know that? But why would I? No one is taking care of me, no one has since I was 15 and my Dad left. But I don’t sit around and moan, I just went to work.
CLINT
Didn’t you finish school?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
If you were given a choice when you were 15 of either staying in school or hanging out and working in a garage - what would you do?
JARED
School?
CLINT
That’s not the answer he’s looking for.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
It’s this country man, this country. It’s so busy telling us that we can be anything we want but then it doesn’t give us the way to make that happen.
CLINT:
That’s not entirely true, there are schools, there are -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)
I’m not a school kind of person. Can’t you see that? Not everyone is, like, a school kind of person. I’m just a guy who’s life is screwed because -
JARED
-
no one is giving you anything.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Yeah.
CLINTI gotta say -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)I mean no.
JAREDWhat then?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)I mean, like, I have these thoughts. Aren't I entitled to happiness? I mean really deep thoughts and I can’t explain -
CLINTThoughts about what?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Stuff.
JAREDWell try.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)No. I am who I am, I mean this is the best country in the world and yet people don’t say that.
JAREDWell Americans do.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)But why is that? Why can’t the world see we’ve solved all of their problems or at least could if they would like listen to us.
JAREDIt’s not that easy. And right now the rest of the world is scared of us.
DAN ( as RANDY SMITH)That's the way to should be. That's what being number one is about.
JAREDWe’re all different. We all have different problems and we all have...
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Hey, I’m talkin’ about America here. I’m talkin’ about how something is wrong.
JAREDIt’s getting better. It may feel like its getting worse, but it's always darkest just before they turn the lights on.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)I’m making hoagies in a strip mall in Indiana the home of like absolutely nothing.
CLINTI hear ya man.
JAREDSo what is it that you want? Do you know? Or do you just know what you don’t want?
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)I want a job where I like, you know have to think. I want a girl that I like, you know like. I want... I just want to fucking rest, man. Then maybe learn how to do something, and make some money and stop making sandwiches all day.
CLINTRandy was cool but lost. We spent that night with him staying up til all hours...
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)I mean Jean, I mean she was beautiful in her way. But she had to have her way, which I suppose was fine but every day it was something else.
JAREDMaybe she is just as frustrated as you are. Maybe -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Don’t you listen? She’s queen of some friggin’ department at Wal-Mart. What has she got to be frustrated about?
JAREDI’m just saying that she -
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Don’t man. Don’t. I know what she is and she thinks she knows what I am. That's the problem.
CLINTIn the morning, or really in the afternoon as we were about to hit the road again, we asked Randy to sign the ball.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Can’t I just sign it ?
JAREDSure, but this is your chance to give us some sage words of advice or to impart your personal philosophy to us. It’ll be immortal.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Yeah, OK. Whatever. Here you go.
JAREDThanks.
CLINTThanks Man. Thanks for everything. And hang in there. Stay cool.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)Yeah you too.
JAREDAnd despite the mild drizzle we were back on the road again.
DAN (as RANDY SMITH)“Always go for the combo.” --Randy Smith
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