APRIL: That was weird. RENE: Tell m...

APRIL: That was weird.

RENE: Tell me about it. / That was some break down.

APRIL: / Haven't seen that mask for a while.

RENE: / Huh?

APRIL: / What?

RENE: Go ahead.

APRIL: No you.

RENE: I said: that was some break down.

APRIL: Break up.

RENE: What was?

APRIL: Earlier.

RENE: With Mom?

APRIL: I meant with Dave.

RENE: Oh. Just then?

APRIL: No. A month or so. She invited us both tonight. You know Mom. I didn’t want to be alone anyway. More difficult that way. Not just here. But with the kid. I mean you start to read the literature and you start to wonder: is my happiness worth the happiness of someone else – like how can you gauge that kind of question? And we’re not even officially, so…

RENE: Right.

APRIL: No one’s moved. It’s easier for now. Just keeping things simple.

RENE: I didn’t know.

APRIL: Why would you?

RENE: I don’t know. A ripple in the universe.

APRIL: You don’t call, Rene.

RENE: Christ, April.

APRIL: I’m just saying.

RENE: Phones work both ways.

APRIL: I didn’t know how to start the conversation.

RENE: That seems pretty simple.

APRIL: Why?

RENE: Because, it’s about, you just, you know, pick up the phone and say.

APRIL: Dave and I are through?

RENE: Something like that.

APRIL: I can barely say it now. You work for so long with someone to make it work.

RENE: I never really liked him.

APRIL: And that’s why I couldn’t. We were never any good at this. How’s Jacob?

RENE: Jacob?

APRIL: Wasn’t there a Jacob?

RENE: Yes?

APRIL: You know what we should have done?

RENE: Bought a calling card?

APRIL: No. We should have come up with a secret language. Like those twins who can talk to each other and no one else can understand them because they’re speaking in this weird kind of code that that’s unique only to them. Maybe we had one and we just forgot it.

RENE: I took Spanish in high school.

APRIL: Our heads were together for nine months in the same womb. Maybe we can transmit thoughts back and forth, like that thing that submarines do that make the dolphins wash up on the beach.

RENE: That’s sonar.

APRIL: Well, you say it out loud. But you both have to know how it works.

RENE: How does it work?

APRIL: I don’t know. Try it with me.

RENE: Um, ok. What am I supposed to say?

APRIL: Think back to before your first memory. Think like someone who isn’t ready to think would think. Then, I’ll think the same and we’ll arrive at the same thought. Okay. Are you ready?

RENE: As ready as I’ll ever be.

APRIL: Go.

(April and Rene close their eyes. Nothing. Rene and April open their eyes.)

RENE: What if we just took a Dutch class?

APRIL: Or we could hide.

RENE: Yeah.

APRIL: Yeah, like Dad. Where is Dad?

RENE: Evidently he was killed by a tiger.

APRIL: That’s confidential?

RENE: Yep. Army stuff.

APRIL: Huh. No wonder we haven’t won any wars recently.

RENE: Now we have to make it through the party.

APRIL: And then what?

RENE: Then…then. You know, April. There was a Jacob.

APRIL: Really?

RENE: Yeah.

APRIL: Recently?

RENE: No. High school. Schlesinger.

APRIL: No wonder he didn’t like feeling my thigh.

RENE: No he did not.

APRIL: Solves that mystery.

(A sound from off.)

APRIL: Look out.

RENE: What?

APRIL: Mom.

For licensing inquiries, please visit The Boat in the Tiger