BENEDICTUS (aloud) Why me, dear Jesus? W...

BENEDICTUS (aloud) Why me, dear Jesus? Why me? Why have you chosen to afflict me with my present thoughts? I begged you, please, bless me with the stigmata. Pierce my hands, my feet, my side, as yours were pierced, and I shall gladly suffer them, as you did. (looks at hands) But no stigmata comes. Only questions new to me and, God forgive me, the last thing I expected ever to wage war within me – doubts. I am assailed by doubts. Why at my age, after a lifetime of devotion to you, why, dear Jesus?

(He lowers his head and begins to pray silently, as the lights fade. Lights come up slowly. He is asleep. Tosses restlessly. A light seems to suffuse the room; in it appears a man who looks like Jesus. Benedictus awakes and looks. Surprised, he sits up)

BENEDICTUS Jesus, is that you?

JESUS I am who I am.

BENEDICTUS I know, I know. But is it really you?

JESUS Come and touch my wounds.

BENEDICTUS I can do that?

(Jesus raises his arms, as if in submission to the Pope's inspection. Pope gets out of bed and walks toward Jesus. Sticks out his hand, as St. Thomas is portrayed to have done, and 4 touches the wound in Jesus' side. Draws back, startled)

BENEDICTUS (CONT'D) It is you.

JESUS The last time I checked.

BENEDICTUS In answer to my prayers?

JESUS Yes.

BENEDICTUS Despite my doubts? Oh, forgive me! How could I have doubted – I, who have devoted my life to your service. Am I forgiven?

JESUS Am I not merciful?

BENEDICTUS Oh, yes, yes, you above all others. But do I dream?

JESUS Did you not touch my wound?

BENEDICTUS Yes, yes, I did. You are my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, one of three persons of the Holy Trinity, at one with the Father.

JESUS I am here.

BENEDICTUS To talk?

JESUS About you. I know your thoughts.

BENEDICTUS I know, I know. You see inside of me. What can I do?

JESUS Resign.

BENEDICTUS Resign? The papacy? I am your humble servant and will obey your every word. But how can I resign?

JESUS Rather, ask why you must.

BENEDICTUS I must?

JESUS I'm afraid so.

BENEDICTUS Because I have doubted?

JESUS Because you know what is right for your flock.

BENEDICTUS To resign?

JESUS It will be your most sacred achievement. I would not ask if I did not trust your saintliness.

BENEDICTUS My saintliness, still?

JESUS More each day. That is why you have been afflicted.

BENEDICTUS With doubt?

JESUS You know you have been troubled by far more than doubt. You detect a contradiction. You see a new vision of holiness. I know, because it is I who have so blessed you.

BENEDICTUS Blessed me?

JESUS Do not feign ignorance with me. You know of what I speak. Yeah, I say unto you, it is only because of your holiness that you have been so chosen! Trust! I need you to trust your new thoughts – and act upon them. They have been instilled in you by me. But enough. Enough for now. I await your actions.

(Light around Jesus fades and he seems to disappear. Benedictus looks at the place where Jesus stood. Goes to it slowly and reaches out. Finds nothing. Clenches his fist in agony and draws it against himself. Lights fade down.

Benedictus

For licensing inquiries, please contact [email protected]