ETHAN  How's Ashley?  BRENT  She's re...

ETHAN 

How's Ashley? 

BRENT 

She's really good. How's Chrissie? 

ETHAN 

Great. 

BRENT 

And how about Sean, huh? 

ETHAN 

It's about time. 

BRENT 

He's bringing her tonight right? 

ETHAN 

That's what he said. 

BRENT 

What do you think she's like? 

ETHAN 

I don't know, a dude like Sean...I'm not expecting much. SEAN enters. He is alone. 

SEAN 

Hey guys! Sorry I'm late. Sarah took forever to get ready.

BRENT 

That's her name? Sarah? 

SEAN 

Yep.  

ETHAN 

So where is she? 

SEAN 

Sorry, how rude of me. Guys, this is Sarah. 

ETHAN 

Um...where? 

SEAN 

Right here, idiot! Here, babe, sit down. 

SEAN pulls out a chair 

So what's good here? (To the empty chair) What are you in the mood for, baby cakes? 

ETHAN 

Hey, Sean... 

SEAN 

Yeah? 

ETHAN 

Is everything, um, okay? 

SEAN 

Never better! (Placing a menu in front of the empty chair) Here, snookums, you order  whatever you want. 

BRENT 

So where did you and...I'm sorry, what did you say her name was? 

SEAN 

Sarah. 

BRENT 

Right. Sarah. Where did you and Sarah meet?

SEAN 

(Leaning in towards the empty chair) What? No, he always dresses like that. (Laughing) I  know! 

ETHAN 

Is this, like, one of your little jokes or something? 

BRENT 

Sarah's being awfully quiet. 

SEAN 

She's just shy around new people. 

ETHAN 

Hey, there's no reason to be shy around us. 

BRENT 

Yeah, we're nice! So, Sarah, where did you and Sean meet? 

SEAN 

We met at... 

BRENT 

I want Sarah to answer. 

SEAN 

(Leaning toward the empty chair) What, sweetie cakes? Okay. Yeah, I understand. Sarah  says you're coming on too strong. You're intimidating her. 

BRENT 

Since when are we intimidating? 

ETHAN 

I've never intimidated anyone in my life. 

BRENT 

Dog sh#t wouldn't be intimidated by us. 

SEAN 

She'd like you to back off. She says you both look mentally disturbed. 

ETHAN 

She said we look mentally disturbed? 

SEAN 

Yes.

ETHAN 

What are you... 

BRENT 

Look, whatever, play make believe if you want. I'm gonna order. 

ETHAN 

Hold on, I want to hear what else she said about us! 

SEAN 

Before I forget, I can't go disc golfing tomorrow. It's our two-week anniversary. 

BRENT 

Oh really? So what are you guys doing? 

SEAN

I can't tell you in front of Sarah. It's a surprise. 

BRENT 

I see... 

SEAN

So, guys, where are your girlfriends? 

BRENT 

Ashley had to visit her grandparents. I think one of them is about to die. 

ETHAN 

Chrissie's getting her nails done or something. 

SEAN 

Sarah got her nails done the other day. 

BRENT 

That's fascinating. 

SEAN 

(To the empty chair) Alright, cupcake, the bathroom is right back there. Allow me. He gets up and pulls out the empty chair. 

So, what do you think? Do you like her? 

For licensing or performance inquiries, please contact [email protected]