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The Lady Demands Satisfaction

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Youth (Y)/General Audiences (G)
Genders
  • Female: 2
  • Male: 0
Playing Age
Adult, Late Teen, Young Adult
Style
Comedic
Length
Medium
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
Pepperston Hall, 1766
Act/Scene
Scene 3

Context

Text

TILLY Your highness, welcome to Pepperston Hall - your new home.

THEODOSIA For the next week, possibly. Poor girl. I quite liked her, you know.

TILLY All may not be lost as yet.

THEODOSIA What a lovely delusion. You may use it to comfort yourself over these dark days - although I would prefer you drown your sorrows in actually cleaning to a decent standard.

TILLY My lady, Trothe may not be lost. She seeks the hand of a Prussian Sword Meister who will nobly defend her.

THEODOSIA Come into my lair, cries the wolf, for the forest abounds with savage beasts. Marriage is the safe harbor men proffer from a tempest they themselves conjure into creation.

TILLY He will fight for her honor.

THEODOSIA And protect it from everyone but himself, uh... servant.

TILLY Tilly, ma’am.

THEODOSIA How awful. Where is my niece?

TILLY Why, she... she’s meeting with her young... an acquaintance. She must give them sorrowful news.

THEODOSIA Well, I hardly wish to interrupt so fraught a moment given all the young lass has been through. I shall come to her chambers later. Incidentally, there is a brace of corpses on the great lawn, I suggest you remove them before the blood stains the grass.

TILLY Corpses, my lady?

THEODOSIA Some impetuous young gentlemen from the academy saw fit to challenge me on my arrival.

TILLY And they’re dead?

THEODOSIA I put my sword through them, that usually does the trick.

TILLY I’ve never seen a dead body.

THEODOSIA Then this shall be a learning experience.

TILLY (looking out the window) That’s a body... body. Bo-o-o-ody. Those are dead bodies!

THEODOSIA And they need to be picked up.

TILLY I suppose I’ll go clear them away somewheres. (beat) I don’t know where they should go. Maybe the compost?

THEODOSIA Just toss them in the river, we don’t want them stinking up the place.

TILLY Yes, my lady.

THEODOSIA And dust, woman - dust!

Theodosia EXITS

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