START: SHEILA: Few weeks later they called me to collect Joe from the hospital, by which time we’d gathered that she wasn’t ever going to amount to much. But I was determined to know the best we could expect. And the worst. The pediatrician was German--or Viennese, I’m not too sure.
(For this sketch, BRI uses a music-hall German accent)
[... …]
END: BRIAN: But jawoh! You must feed her, vosh her nappies, keep her varm. Just like any ozzer mozzer.
SHEILA: But for how long?
BRIAN: Who can tell? Anysing can happen, you know zat. Diphtheria, pneumonia…vooping cough…Colorado beetle.

Peter Nichols, A Day in the Death of Joe Egg. Faber and Faber, 1975. pp.35-37