DOUGLAS

This Will is ridiculous! I can't believe Sol even wasted his time drawing it up.

KATIE

(Laughing) Dad, only you could do this.

ARLENE

(Reading) Colleen, I hope they had the good sense to include you in on the reading of the Will so you're hearing this first hand and getting the pleasure of watching their reactions. And don't let that pack of thieves rob you blind before they leave. They'll steal the gold in your teeth if you don’t watch out. But if there is anything here you don't need or don't want to keep, you can give it away as you see fit. In closing, I just want to say, it's been a hell of a life, and at the very least, you all made it quite interesting. Good-bye for now. (Looks at everyone.) That’s it.

DOUGLAS

This is the most outrageous thing I’ve ever heard!