Overview
- Female: 4
- Male: 2
Context
Everyone is in the living room, listening to Arlene read Shannon’s will. This is not a typical will by any means. Shannon wrote the will in riddles, and each person has to figure out their riddle in order to know what they inherited. Sharon, the eldest daughter, thinks she is psychic and can contact the dead. She talks everyone into having a seance so they can ask Shannon to explain the will to them.
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DOUGLAS
This Will is ridiculous! I can't believe Sol even wasted his time drawing it up.
KATIE
(Laughing) Dad, only you could do this.
ARLENE
(Reading) Colleen, I hope they had the good sense to include you in on the reading of the Will so you're hearing this first hand and getting the pleasure of watching their reactions. And don't let that pack of thieves rob you blind before they leave. They'll steal the gold in your teeth if you don’t watch out. But if there is anything here you don't need or don't want to keep, you can give it away as you see fit. In closing, I just want to say, it's been a hell of a life, and at the very least, you all made it quite interesting. Good-bye for now. (Looks at everyone.) That’s it.
DOUGLAS
This is the most outrageous thing I’ve ever heard!
ARLENE
I promise you, the minute Sol gets back into town, I will make sure that this so called Will is null and void!
PATRICK
I want my money!
SHARON
Wait a minute. Remember how Dad used to joke about a hidden treasure in the house?
KATIE
He was just kidding.
PATRICK
Are you sure?
KATIE
Of course. He would never hide anything of value.
DOUGLAS
I don’t know. The old miser just might have planted something so no one would ever find it.
COLLEEN
Look, I’ve been cleaning this house from top to bottom for over 15 years. I would know if there was any hidden treasure.
ARLENE
Don’t worry. We’ll all get our money as soon as Sol gets back into town.
KATIE
You’ve waited this long. You can wait one more week.
ARLENE
All right. In the meantime, what's this puzzle we're supposed to figure out?
KATIE
Who knows?
PATRICK
Who cares?
DOUGLAS
Yeah, who cares about the damned puzzle? All I can figure out is that the stiff stiffed us.
SHARON
Look, I know you all think I'm crazy and you don't believe in my powers, but just for the hell of it, why don't we have a séance. If I can contact Dad, we can ask him about the puzzle clues.
DOUGLAS
Screw the puzzle clues! I want to talk to that son-of-a-bitch about the whole damned Will!
PATRICK
Yeah, me too!
SHARON
Then you'll do this with me?
EVERYBODY looks at each other inquisitively.
PATRICK
Oh hell, why not? Nothing else to do tonight. Besides, we need a good laugh.
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