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Chickens

MADDIE Can we go to the park now?...

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Youth (Y)/General Audiences (G)
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 1
Playing Age
Adult, Child, Early Teen
Style
Comedic
Length
Medium
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
A condo in Nashville
Act/Scene
Act 1, Scene 3

Context

Text

MADDIE

Can we go to the park now?

BRYSON

Fifteen minutes.

MADDIE

You said fifteen minutes, twenty minutes ago.

BRYSON

That was before I started finding Leonard’s mistakes with this spreadsheet.

MADDIE

Spread sheet at home is what we do before we make the bed.

BRYSON

This is the same except it’s got lots of wrinkles so I’m ironing it out.

MADDIE

Why would anyone iron a sheet that goes under a blanket?

BRYSON

It’s still fifteen minutes.

MADDIE

I can go alone.

BRYSON

Not a chance. There’s dangerous people out there looking for vulnerable young girls.

MADDIE

All I see out the window is people looking down.

BRYSON

Exactly, that’s so they don’t make eye contact with thugs.

MADDIE

(pulls up her shirt to reveal a large hunting knife)

Then how can you see where to stab them?

Bryson closes his laptop and slides over to the couch. He turns on the TV.

BRYSON

Let’s play a nice, safe video game like War Mongers or Demolition Derby.

MADDIE

I miss the farm.

BRYSON

Tell you what. Let’s go to a farm right now.

MADDIE

Really?

BRYSON

Yup. I’ve got Farmville 2. Way better graphics than the original. One simple press of a button and... there you go. A fully operational farm.

MADDIE

Tractors aren’t supposed to be black. They’d overheat.

BRYSON

Fine. Pink it is.

MADDIE

That’s stupid.

BRYSON

We’ll come back to equipment. Let’s build some livestock.

MADDIE

Build livestock?

BRYSON

Heck yeah.

MADDIE

You gave that chicken four legs, but chickens only have two legs.

BRYSON

Oh. Well, these are faster.

MADDIE

Which would make them impossible to catch!

BRYSON

Easy fix. We’ll give all the farmhands six legs.

MADDIE

(shrill SCREAM)

You’re making everything worse!

Maddie rubs her Rosary Beads.

BRYSON

Sorry.

MADDIE

That’s okay.

BRYSON

So what do those beads do?

MADDIE

They don’t do anything.

BRYSON

I don’t see the point, then.

MADDIE

Prayer.

BRYSON

When you’re done praying, do you want to go to the park?

MADDIE

No thanks.

BRYSON

A real park.

MADDIE

No thanks.

BRYSON

I bet I can beat you there.

MADDIE

I doubt it.

BRYSON

Let’s find out.

MADDIE

What do I get if I win?

BRYSON

Hmm, let’s see. I’ll take you on the Nash Trash bus tour.

MADDIE

The what?

BRYSON

It goes by all the country music star mansions.

MADDIE

Country mansions. That makes no sense at all.

BRYSON

Stops at a church with the largest steeple in the city, too.

MADDIE

Really?

BRYSON

Yeppers.

MADDIE

Go!

Maddie bolts out the door. Bryson starts to chase.

BRYSON

Wait! You forgot something!

Bryson goes back and grabs the Rosary Beads off the table. He heads out the door.

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