Lights rise on a cramped bachelor’s bedr...

Lights rise on a cramped bachelor’s bedroom. A pile of coats on the bed. A party rages in the next room. After a moment, the door swings open and Philip, 29, pushes a scantily clad Lorelei, 24, through the door and shuts it behind them. They look at each other for a moment.

Lorelei: What?

Philip: What??

Lorelei: What?

Philip: What? What?... What the f##k, that’s what.

Lorelei: What are you doing here?

Philip: What am I doing here?

Lorelei: How was the movie?

Philip: What movie?

Lorelei: The movie.

Philip: Oh come on, I just—… On the list of transgressions, okay? I just—, it’s my cousin’s bachelor party. You’re not supposed to tell your girlfriend—

Lorelei: I wouldn’t have minded—

Philip: Clearly. How long has this been going on?

Lorelei: What?

Philip: The—… How long have we been together?

Lorelei: Five months.

Philip: And how long have you been doing this?

Lorelei: Almost a year.

Philip: Oh, Jesus.

Lorelei: What?

Philip: Stop asking “what.” You’ve been lying to me.

Lorelei: I have not.

Philip: You have, too. A lie of omission, maybe.

Lorelei: I told you what I did.

Philip: You said you danced.

Lorelei: Yes.

Philip: Well this, with the—, the—… This is not what I was picturing.

Lorelei: What did you think I was doing?

Philip: Dancing.

Lorelei: Like, ballet?

Philip: Or something, yes.

Lorelei: Who have you ever heard of working their way through school as a ballet dancer?

Philip: I thought you.

Lorelei: And you didn’t think it was odd that I never invited you to a recital?

Philip: You said it was private.

Lorelei: Yes, I said I was doing private parties. What, did you think I was dancing Orpheus in someone’s kitchen.

Philip: No, I thought, like, benefits or something.

Lorelei: Philip—

Philip: You said you took lessons.

Lorelei: Until I was fifteen, yes. (re: her breasts) Then I grew these. I started falling over.

Philip: Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Lorelei: Could you, please? You know I don’t like that.

Philip: Right, ‘cause Jesus, (re: her outfit, or lack thereof) he would—, he would f##king love this.

Party Girl was developed with The CRY HAVOC Company

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