Scene Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Characters
Genders
  • Female: 1
  • Male: 1
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
A student's apartment, 1994
Act/Scene
Act 1

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Context

Text

AL Sweetheart, don't leave me! I love you!

JAN Don't even mention that word to me! What do you know about love?

AL Please, Jan, I just want a little legal protection.

JAN Protection? From me? I love you, Al.

AL And I love you. But what about tomorrow? What if you change your mind?

JAN I'm not going to change my mind.

AL But what if you do? I can see the headlines right now.

(quotes) "Law Student Accused of Rape!" I could be expelled!

JAN I'm not going to accuse you of anything. I'm leaving! Good-bye, Al!

AL (falls on his knees) Please, don't do that, Jan. You know I love you.

JAN Well, then --

AL -- Just fill out this simple Sex Consent Form, and we can go on to enjoy a night of bliss. The first night of a lifetime of bliss. Please, our love depends on it.

JAN Have all the enchanted castles of love collapsed and left in their place only a lawyer's file cabinet? Are you Paris, risking all for Helen? Romeo, into the family breach? Cyrano, singing into the night against hope? No, you're a law student with a cold, cold "contract."

AL Will you stop being an English major on me? All I know is, I love you, Jan.

JAN And, strange as it seems, Al, I love you, too.

AL Then remove the only thing that stands between us. Needless risk.

JAN Give it to me!

(takes contract; sits and reads)

"Sex Consent Form." Where did you get this?

AL I made it up myself. There's not a lot of boiler-plate in this area.

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