Overview
- Female: 2
- Male: 1
Context
In addition to establishing Gramps and Gran’s banter as a source of amusement and humor, this scene demonstrates the comfortable, familial relationship between a granddaughter and her grandparents. This exchange also establishes that Gramps and Gran are at a point in their aging where modern technology is starting to baffle them; an experience shared by many with elderly loved ones. College freshman, Jacqui, however, demonstrates that she gets frustrated with her grandparents’ age-related
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(Enter Jacqui UL in a tizzy searching madly.)
Gramps: Maybe I should have an extra dose of my shark cartilage after supper.
Gran: It didn’t seem to help the shark much.
Gramps: (to Jacqui) If you’re searching for drugs, your grandmother and I gave that up years ago... at least the ones not covered by Blue Cross.
Jacqui: Oh, Gramps, have you seen my cell phone? I’ve tried to call it a million times but it’s on “vibrate” and I can’t hear it. I NEED that thing! It’s my life!
Gramps: Cell-phones come with a life? Maybe I should get one.
Gran: Of course you have a life. It’s the thing I make miserable.
Jacqui: What would you use a cell phone for, Gramps? I hardly think you need to be texting the old fuds down at the barbershop. What are you going to say? “Another nice buzz-cut, Cliff.” Or, “Has the “Guns and Ammo” magazine arrived yet?”
Gramps: If it’s anything like the drivel your friends post on your Facebook page, maybe you have a point. They make the news on Entertainment Tonight seem downright important. (In fake girlie voice) I’m going to take a shower now… Oh I just had a shower... whatever will I do with my hair?
Jacqui: Gramps! Have you been going at my Facebook again? OOOHHHH! Last time I accidentally left my page up, you posted that I was sorry I couldn’t come to a party because I had uncontrollable diarrhea. It took me weeks to live it down!
Gran: Well you DID have uncontrollable diarrhea. Young ladies didn’t do that sort of thing in my day.
Gramps: I knew we should have taped it so we could show you how you sounded. It was hilarious!
Gran: I laughed so hard I thanked the good Lord I’d remembered to put my Depends on.
Jacqui: Ohhh you guys! Hey, wait! That’s my cell phone you’re holding! What are you doing with it? I’ve been tearing the house apart for it!
Gran: Is that your phone? I thought it was the TV dooflickus. No wonder it so lousy for changing channels.
Jacqui: Oh Gran, here’s the TV remote. (Hands Gran a remote that was on top of the TV, then scans her phone for messages.) You uhhh.... you didn’t go through my pictures did you?
Gramps: No, we have too much integrity for that, although I will say, I really liked the one of you in your bikini.
Jacqui: Gramps! (Turns back on the pair and fiddles with the phone)
Gramps: Ha! Just a lucky guess! For five bucks I won’t tell your father he should check out your collection.
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