Overview
- Female: 1
- Male: 2
Context
In this scene, we establish that Buddy’s sister, Clara, coincidentally working at the radio station where Buddy performs as a voice actor, is averse to acting or performing in no uncertain terms. This sets up the situation where Clara must be pressed into service as a sound effects person basically winging it and even becoming comfortable enough to deliver a few lines. The scene also illuminates just how insufferable big shot voice actor, Lance Boyle is, which causes him to leave the show in a
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Lance: Yes it was. I will overlook it this time just because of the high quality person I am. Now get out of my way, girl. (Betty exits) Poor thing is head over heels in love with me. Foolish woman. Ah well, who can blame her? I am, after all, one of the best voice actors in the industry.
Buddy: One of the humblest, too.
Lance: Yes, good of you to notice... Bradley.
Buddy: It's Buddy.
Lance: Yes, so you claim. Anyway, have you finished with the technical tomfoolery yet? I need to begin my vocal exercises.
Leslie: The mics all check out okay. Go ahead with your pre-game warmup.
Lance: (gesturing and mumbling) ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah... Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh... Cah cah cah cah cah cah cah cah cah cah etc...
Clara: (entering studio) Hey, Buddy! How are you... What the heck?
Buddy: Shhhhhh... Lance is doing his vocal warm ups.
Clara: Thank heavens, I thought he lost his mind.
Leslie: You can't lose what you never had.
Lance: Do you people mind? My brilliance depends on careful preparation.
Buddy: A good script probably helps.
Lance: The script is irrelevant. With this voice, I could read the telephone book and make people weep.
Leslie: I can believe people weep at the sound of your voice.
Clara: He he he!... Errrr.... Cough, cough cough… Must be dusty in here.
Lance: You people are insufferable! Call me five minutes before show time. I will be in my dressing room. (Exits) Fuh Fuh Fuh Fuh Fuh Fuh Fuh Fuh... Guh guh guh guh guh guh guh
Buddy: Jeepers, Clara, what’s up? You aren't even supposed to be on the soundstage. What kind of sister are you, anyway? You're always getting me in trouble.
Clara: Sorry, Buddy, but I wanted to warn you Mrs. Nettle is mad as a wet hen.
Leslie: Well, I know she's about as smart as a wet hen.
Buddy: Quiet, Leslie, you're not helping. Clara, what was Mrs. Nettle so angry about?
Clara: She just got the listenership results for the station and said the numbers are dropping like the pants on a vaudeville comic. She says that new-tangled TV thing is going to kill radio. She doesn't think radio stations will be in business within the next ten years.
Buddy: TV, huh? That's what's getting all the ink in the papers anymore, that's for sure. Maybe we should start trying to get TV jobs.
Leslie: No way. I heard that television will make you go blind if you watch it for more than an hour or so, especially if you have the lights off. Radio is much safer. I think that TV stuff will be just a flash in the pan.
Buddy: I’m with Leslie. Who’s going to stare at a tiny screen for hours on end?
Clara: With a face like yours, you better hope TV doesn't become popular. When it comes to your looks, the most attractive feature on you is your voice.
Buddy: Thanks a lot, Clara. With a sister like you, who needs enemies?
Clara: Now don't be like that, Buddy. You know I'm just joshing you. Anyway, I better get back to the office before old Nastypants catches me in here. I don't know why she is so funny about the office staff mixing with the actors. She's afraid your weirdness might rub off, I guess.
Buddy: Ha! More like your weirdness. I can't imagine wanting an office job. I think Mom dropped you on your head as a kid.
Clara: At least I wasn't thrown on my head like you were. I love my job. I can't imagine being on the air and listened to by thousands of people. I'd freeze up like an ice-box.
Buddy: Oh pshaw. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
Clara: Normally I would agree with you on that but I think you are able to do it because you're not really normal, you know?
Buddy: And what would you know about normal? You think answering phones and taking dictation is fun.
Leslie: Will you two cut it out? I know you're brother and sister but you sound more like Cain and Abel.
Buddy: Sorry, Leslie but she started it.
Leslie: Oh please. She started it? Are you pulling my leg? Why is it, no matter how old you are, as soon as your siblings are around, you revert to being five years old again?
Clara: We just do that for your amusement, Leslie. Is it working?
Lance: (entering studio) Wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh.... Good heavens young lady, what are you doing here? I was given to understand that office minions were not allowed in the studio.
Clara: I was just bringing Mr. Brown's fan mail to him. (hands Buddy an envelope) I was just leaving.
Lance: Buckley gets fan mail?
Buddy: It's Buddy, and I get the odd piece here and there.
Lance: Yes, I can imagine they must be odd. I have my fan mail directed to my secretary for processing. Who can be bothered with such piffle?
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