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The Crimson Cap Ladies Save the Day

Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Genders
  • Female: 4
  • Male: 1
Playing Age
Mature Adult, Elderly
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
A bar in a small town, late 1970s
Act/Scene
Act 1, Scene 12

Context

Text

Leona: Oh my! Such attentive service! And I do love the décor!

Millie: What did she say? Leona loves the dick what?

Esther: The décor, DAY COR! Anyway let’s find a spot and settle in.

Grace: You have to admit, if we’re talking décor, that Dave has nailed the whole “antique dive” motif.

Dave: Good afternoon lovely ladies! My name is Dave and I will be your host for this adventure.

Millie: We have to go on adventure? I thought we were having lunch.

Grace: He just means that he’s going to try and push wine on us.

Millie: God bless you, young man.

Dave: So what will it be ladies? Wine all around?

Millie: There’s a wino around? Oh dear!

Leona: Well, I don’t know, Dave, I’ve never had strong drink before. In fact, I’ve never even been inside a bar before.

Grace: You’ll get used to it when the booze kicks in.

Esther: Don’t feel out of place, honey. I never come in these places either.

Millie: What kind of places do you come in?

Dave: Esther, are you kidding me? You were just here the other… (Esther gives him a stern look) uh… uh… decade… yeah.. yeah.. the other decade. (laughs weakly).

Esther: I’ve seen smoother moves from my laxative. Anyway, bring us a bottle of your finest from some far off, romantic land!

Dave: I have some stuff from Ontario…

Millie: I love oreos!

Grace: Shut up, Millie; sounds good, Dave. Bring it on. (Dave goes behind bar to retrieve wine.)

Dave: Theresa will be here in a few minutes to bring your appetizer. Here’s the… ah… first offering. Here we go… would anyone like to sniff the… er… cap?

Esther: As head of this organization and organizer of the party I believe that duty should fall on my shoulders.

Millie: Sniff what crap?

Grace: Good grief, Millie you are as deaf as a donut, aren’t you?

Leona: Now that was a little hurtful, Grace.

Grace: Especially for the donut. So, Esther, are you done snorting the cap or can we have a glass now?

Esther: Not quite yet. I was just going to say this wine has a most complex bouquet with overtones of cherries, and plums and hints of walnut and oak…

Grace: Oh please. It’s wine, not fruit salad. That sounded like overtones of tripe with hints of BS. Okay, Dave, dish it up.

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