Eunice: I tell you what. I’ll check on h...

Eunice: I tell you what. I’ll check on him and see if he’s okay. (She gets up to go to Don but the rest intercept her.)

Esther: I don’t think so. Girls, keep an eye on Eunice. I’m going to wake up Don and we’ll get to the bottom of this right now.

(Suddenly there’s another scuffle with Eunice fighting off the women when his wig comes off. The girls are momentarily stunned which allows Eunice to leap on Don and pat him down until she finds a gun.)

Eugene: I figured I’d find this on him.

Millie: Oh my gosh! Was Don the escaped convict?

Eugene: No you stupid broad. I am.

All: Oh my gosh! He’s got a gun!

Esther: A gun? Okay! Okay! You can join the group! You can even second all the motions you wish!

Eugene: I don’t want to join your crazy womens club. I was going nuts just listening to you. I just needed a place to lay low until my buddies come.

Millie: Your buddies? You have buddies?

Leona: Your buddies are coming here? Oh dear!

Chrys: “Never, under any condition, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.” Grace: Oh my gosh, look at the time. I forgot to mention I have a nail appointment this afternoon.

Eugene: Nobody ain’t going nowhere.

Mrs. Garnet: You just used a triple negative. Therefore, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Eugene: Let me clarify it for you. If you make a move for the door, you’ll feel a lead slug in the back of your skull before you could even touch the knob.

Mrs. Garnet: Yes, much clearer. Thank you.

Millie: How did you know Don would be carrying a gun?

Eugene: I guessed that he was some kind of undercover cop. I figured he would have to be armed.

Millie: You mean when he patted me down in the bedroom, he was just doing police business?

Leona: Sounds more like monkey business.

Esther: (Sadly) He didn’t pat me down. (Hautily) I mean… He didn’t pat me down!

Grace: So what happens to us when your buddies come for you?

Eugene: Don’t worry. We’ll take care of you. All of you.

Millie: That’s as scary as when the government says the same thing.

Esther: Now Eunice… Oh! I guess your name isn’t Eunice. What should we call you?

Eugene: The name’s Eugene. Now everybody shut up unless I ask you a question and all go sit at the meeting where I can keep an eye on you.

Mrs. Garnet: You do realize the police are all over this neighborhood. You can bet if they know Don is in here, they are probably watching the house.

Eugene: Did I ask you a question?

Mrs. Garnet: Well, that was a question!

Eugene: What was a question?

Mrs. Garnet: When you asked “Did I ask you a question?” was a question.

Eugene: That was rhetorical!

Mrs. Garnet: Are we allowed to answer rhetorical questions?

Eugene: Just shut up! I have to think!

Leona: I thought you were already thinking. Can we help?

Eugene: Seriously, you guys are driving me around the bend. Just be quiet while I work this out.

Grace: Maybe another brownie might help! Leona: The rice crispie squares are really good, too.

Millie: Thanks! It’s my own secret recipe! I use rice crispies, marshmallows, butter and vanilla.

Eugene: Are you kidding me? What kind of stupid secret recipe is that? It’s printed on every box of rice crispies!

Millie: Those rip-off artists!

Grace: Did I just hear a bunch of SWAT team members surround the house?

Eugene: What? A SWAT team?

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