Start: JAY: I hate coming here, don’t...

Lost in Yonkers

Arty Kurnitz Jay Kurnitz

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Start:

JAY: I hate coming here, don’t you?

ARTY: (in front of fan) It’s hot. I’m so hot.

JAY: I’d hate coming here if it was cool. Pop doesn’t even come and it’s his own mother …

[... … …]

End:

ARTY: She went to high school?

JAY: A little. She missed the first year because she couldn’t find it.

For full extended monologue, refer to the script edition cited here: Neil Simon, Lost in Yonkers, in The Collected Plays of Neil Simon, Volume IV. Simon & Schuster, 1998, pp. 89-90.

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