SPEED Sir, your glove. VALENTINE...

SPEED

Sir, your glove.

VALENTINE

Not mine; my gloves are on.

SPEED

Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.

VALENTINE

Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine:

Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!

Ah, Silvia, Silvia!

SPEED

Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

VALENTINE

How now, sirrah?

SPEED

She is not within hearing, sir.

VALENTINE

Why, sir, who bade you call her?

SPEED

Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.

VALENTINE

Well, you'll still be too forward.

SPEED

And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

VALENTINE

Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

SPEED

She that your worship loves?

VALENTINE

Why, how know you that I am in love?

SPEED

Marry, by these special marks: first, you have

learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,

like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a

robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had

the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had

lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had

buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes

diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to

speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were

wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you

walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you

fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you

looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you

are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look

on you, I can hardly think you my master.

VALENTINE

Are all these things perceived in me?

SPEED

They are all perceived without ye.

VALENTINE

Without me? they cannot.

SPEED

Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you

were so simple, none else would: but you are so

without these follies, that these follies are within

you and shine through you like the water in an

urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a

physician to comment on your malady.

VALENTINE

But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

SPEED

She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?

VALENTINE

Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean.

SPEED

Why, sir, I know her not.

VALENTINE

Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet

knowest her not?

SPEED

Is she not hard-favoured, sir?

VALENTINE

Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.

SPEED

Sir, I know that well enough.

VALENTINE

What dost thou know?

SPEED

That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.

VALENTINE

I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

SPEED

That's because the one is painted and the other out

of all count.

VALENTINE

How painted? and how out of count?

SPEED

Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no

man counts of her beauty.

VALENTINE

How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.

SPEED

You never saw her since she was deformed.

VALENTINE

How long hath she been deformed?

SPEED

Ever since you loved her.

VALENTINE

I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I

see her beautiful.

SPEED

If you love her, you cannot see her.

VALENTINE

Why?

SPEED

Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;

or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to

have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going

ungartered!

VALENTINE

What should I see then?

SPEED

Your own present folly and her passing deformity:

for he, being in love, could not see to garter his

hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.

VALENTINE

Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last

morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

SPEED

True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,

you swinged me for my love, which makes me the

bolder to chide you for yours.

VALENTINE

In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

SPEED

I would you were set, so your affection would cease.

VALENTINE

Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to

one she loves.

SPEED

And have you?

VALENTINE

I have.

SPEED

Are they not lamely writ?

VALENTINE

No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!

here she comes.

SPEED

[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!

Now will he interpret to her.