Editor's Note: This is the original script, as shared by the author.
(An empty theatre, mostly dark. The door is ajar, enough to admit a beam of sunlight. Heavy, thudding silence for several beats. Then the sound of running feet and screaming from outside the theatre, people in panic. Jumbled words. More screams.)
(JONAS appears from backstage. He stretches, yawns, scratches his head. Glances toward the theatre door. Squints. Suddenly he runs at it and slams it, cutting off the sunlight. Presses his back against it as if to keep it from flying open. He wars with himself, trying not to let the panic show. After a beat he relaxes, moves away from the door, dusts his hands with satisfaction. Thinks for a beat. Pulls out an empty bottle of hand sanitzer. Holds it up to examine it.) (SEAN enters from backstage.)
SEAN
Did you break the door?
JONAS
Probably not.
SEAN
Better not have.
JONAS
They can’t get in.
(SEAN makes a dericisve sound. Crosses to the door. Listens. A sudden scream from outside causes him to jump back.)
SEAN
Jesus!
JONAS
They’re right outside.
SEAN
(indicating the bottle)
Is there anything left in there?
JONAS
Nah. Wouldn’t do us much good anyway, would it?
SEAN
Not now.
(moves around the theatre uneasily)
It’s so dark in here.
JONAS
You wanna go out there?
SEAN
Kinda.
JONAS
Be my guest.
SEAN
You said we have to stick together!
JONAS
(smirking) Yeah.
SEAN
And now you don’t want to. Is that it?
(JONAS moves toward him. Touches his face. They look at each other. JONAS moves away. Looks at the bottle of hand sanitizer. Chucks it into the darkness of the theatre’s seats. Sighs.)
Hey, look at this way. At least we can’t get it … we’re not, you know, susceptible.
JONAS
But they are. They’re dropping like flies.
(Another scream from outside. A gunshot.)
And it isn’t just the virus.
(Another gunshot. JONAS grins.)
Get it?
SEAN
Animals.
JONAS
They’ve always been animals.
SEAN
That’s not incredibly super fair.
JONAS
Yeah, I’m not interested in fair. I’ve never really been interested in fair.
(He disappears backstage.)
SEAN
How much longer do you want to stay here?
(louder)
HOW MUCH LONGER DO YOU WANT TO STAY HERE?
(Loud sounds from backstage. JONAS is moving something heavy around back there.)
Great.
(SEAN crosses to the door. Listens. Quiet now. He relaxes. JONAS appears suddenly with a shovel and a pick.)
Holy crap!
JONAS
I told you. We have big decisions to make.
SEAN
I … know.
JONAS
We can’t stay here forever. Not even with all this lovely darkness.
SEAN
Are you … sure?
JONAS
I sound pretty sure, don’t I.
(Suddenly he drops the pick and shovel. Covers his face with his hands. Sinks to his knees. Begins to sob. SEAN rushes to him.)
SEAN
(comforting him)
Hey! Hey! Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay!
(JONAS pushes him away. His sobs turn gradually to laughter. He stands up, howling with laughter. Another gunshot outside. Another scream.)
JONAS
(pointing at the door)
See? They’re going to make us do it, if there are any of them left. If there are any of them left!
(He begins to laugh again, his laughter growing louder and more hysterical. SEAN watches him somberly. After a beat the laughter dies away. They look at each other. A beat.)
Thank you.
SEAN
For what?
JONAS
Letting me be human for a second.
SEAN
Oh! No problem.
JONAS
You’ve always been really good about that, you know.
SEAN
Yeah. I know.
(Sean picks up the pick.)
Can I use this?
JONAS
Do you know how to use it?
SEAN
I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.
(lifting and chopping, lifting and chopping)
Hi-YA! Hi-YA!
JONAS
(with a little smile)
Gimme that. You’re gonna hurt yourself.
(He takes the pick. They smile at each other fondly. The door behind them bursts open. BENJY throws himself into the theatre, slams the door behind him. He is panting, his face streaked with grime. His eyes are wide and wild. He suddenly notices JONAS and SEAN.)
BENJY
Dude! Oh my god, dude! You’re alive! You’re alive in here!
JONAS
Um. Yes. And you are …?
BENJY
You have no idea what it’s like out there. It’s nuts, it’s crazy, it’s a madhouse, a madhouse!
SEAN
We can hear it! Are people shooting each other now?
BENJY
I didn’t. I don’t know what you’re implying; don’t look at me like that; listen, I didn’t shoot anybody, I didn’t!
JONAS
Uh-huh. Anyway, it was nice to meet you, sorry you can’t stay –
SEAN
Wait! Don’t you think he could, you know, for even just a minute?
JONAS
No.
BENJY
You have to let me stay here! They said there was no one here, that this old place was too unstable, like falling down or collapsing in on itself or whatever, rats, you’d get the virus here even, that you’d have to be crazy to hide out here, so I thought, I’ll just try it, I’ll just see –
JONAS
We were going to board it up.
SEAN
(too eagerly) They said it was haunted, didn’t they!
JONAS
(sad head shake) We should’ve boarded it up.
BENJY
(to SEAN)
Yeah, yeah! But I didn’t believe that happy crappy.
(a gunshot from outside)
See? You have to let me stay!
SEAN
(to JONAS)
We have to let him stay!
BENJY
(trying for menacing) I mean, I could just not leave …
JONAS
Oh?
(grinning at SEAN)
I think you’re right.
SEAN
Oh, you can stay, you can stay!
BENJY
Thanks, dude. You two gay?
JONAS
Us?
SEAN
I mean, I’m not sure if that’s the word –
JONAS
We’ve been together for a long time.
SEAN
Oh, oh yes! A long, long time.
BENJY
That’s cool. I mean, whatever.
(tries to peer under the door)
Hiding out here was pretty smart. You guys are pretty smart, at least.
JONAS
(grinning)
At least.
BENJY
When this whole thing started, you remember, not too long ago, I had to pay my water bill. I had to go in person ‘cuz my check bounced. It’s just been hard to keep money in my account, you know?
SEAN
Sure.
BENJY
And the bitch – ‘scuse me – the girl behind the counter, she was like, We can’t take your pennies, you can’t just give us pennies in a box, and I was like, Do you want the money or not? ‘Cuz this is all I got.
SEAN
Just pennies? You had the whole bill, all of it, in pennies?
BENJY There mighta been some nickels too. And a quarter. But yeah, pennies. She said they weren’t shutting the water off, ‘cuz of the virus, no one’s been able to pay, but I hadda make sure, you know?
SEAN
I suppose. I mean, yes!
BENJY
She was laughing at me. Not with her face, but with her eyes, you know? Judging me. Just ‘cuz that friggin check bounced. I’ve never been good with money, but that’s not my fault. I try to keep track, I really do. My ex, she’s always raggin on me too. Just like that bitch at the water department. I can always tell when people are laughing at me with their eyes.
SEAN
Did she take the pennies?
BENJY
Hell yeah she did! That was last week, before things got really bad. She’s probably dead now.
(a big sigh)
Too bad. Lots of people are dead.
JONAS
Soon the whole world.
BENJY
You think so?
JONAS
Oh, I know so.
BENJY
I wish had more beer. You guys hoard any beer? There wasn’t any left at the store when I went yesterday. Started with toilet paper, then bananas –
SEAN
Bananas? Really?
BENJY
Oh yeah. All the bananas were, like, gone. Apples as far as the eye could see, and oranges, and pears. But no bananas. And no friggin beer.
JONAS
We never drink … beer.
BENJY Too bad. We’re gonna be here together for awhile, I think –
JONAS
We were just leaving.
SEAN
We were?
BENJY
That’s stupid. Sorry, bro, but that’s stupid. It’s insane out there!
JONAS
I think we’ll be okay.
(He glances at his watch. Looks at SEAN.)
The sun is setting.
BENJY
Oh man. It gets worse at night.
SEAN
(big sigh)
It usually does.
(to JONAS)
Reminds me of the dust bowl. You couldn’t see the sun, not ever.
JONAS
(grinning)
And we just grew used to the taste of dirt in our mouths. Eventually.
(looks at his open palm)
Fear.
SEAN
In a handful of dust.
(They laugh together.)
BENJY
You guys are nuts, huh.
JONAS
Probably.
BENJY
I can take you both.
SEAN
It won’t come to that.
BENJY
I can!
(JONAS is looking at his watch again.)
JONAS
Three … two … one …
BENJY
(to SEAN) What’s he doing?
SEAN
He’s great at this. His watch is perfectly timed to coincide with sunset. Every night. Now be quiet! It’s about to start!
BENJY
What’s about to start?
(Music begin to blare suddenly, frighteningly loud. Jangly, discordant. Possibly a waltz, or several waltzes, all playing at the same time. BENJY screams, covers his ears. SEAN and JONAS smile. Bow to each other.)
BENJY
(screaming) What’s happening? Where is that coming from?
(Solemn now, JONAS and SEAN begin to dance.)
Stop it! You have to make it stop! Please! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
(All around them, SPECTERS begin to appear. Some seem three dimensional, some appear as projections on the walls of the theatre. They are thin, glaringly white. Flashes of bone. They wear shreds of cloth. They are all dancing. Whirling. Faster and faster. BENJY continues screaming, then drops to his knees, covering his ears, shaking his head. This goes on and on and on … until suddenly it stops. All the SPECTERS are gone. Only SEAN and JONAS remain. They stop dancing. Bow to each other.)
SEAN
Wonderful! Like old times.
BENJY
No, no, no, no, no, no, no –
JONAS
(to BENJY)
Normally we just watch. We haven’t ever participated before.
SEAN
They come back every night. They like us, I think. We’re like their pets.
JONAS
We put up with them at first. Our ears are very sensitive, and the music can be so grating.
SEAN
But then we started to enjoy it! We’ve been trapped in this place for a long, long time. Gets old, you know?
BENJY
I don’t understand anything …
JONAS
You don’t say.
SEAN
Be nice to him. It’s the end. He knows it now.
BENJY
No, no, no.
JONAS
(to BENJY) Yes, yes, yes. He’s right. You know it. It’s the end. We can’t stay here anymore. It isn’t safe. You’ve proven that, if nothing else.
BENJY
I’ll go away. I won’t tell. I won’t tell anyone.
SEAN
That doesn’t matter. Because there will be others. Until you’re all gone, until the virus wipes you all out, there will be others.
BENJY
I’ll fight you. I’ll fight you both.
SEAN
I wouldn’t advise that.
(BENJY leaps up. Runs for JONAS. JONAS captures him easily. Spins him around.)
BENJY
Leave me alone, you … you sick freak! Homo! Queerbait homo freak!
JONAS
Is that all you’ve got?
(Disgusted, he throws BENJY to the ground. He clambers to his knees, but he can’t get up.)
Things are always so much more complicated than you think.
(to SEAN)
Shall we?
SEAN
I suppose we should. Then we need to go.
(He crosses to the door. Listens.)
It’s quiet out there.
BENJY
(moaning) Freaks.
JONAS
You have no idea.
(He reveals his fangs. All his teeth are fangs. Like the mouth of a shark. BENJY sees them. Screams. SEAN reveals his own set of fangs, worse, if possible, than JONAS’. BENJY tries to get up. Falls. JONAS seizes him. Plunges his fangs into BENJY’S throat. BENJY stops screaming. SEAN joins JONAS. Plunges his own fangs into BENJY’S throat. The music starts up again. The SPECTERS reappear, dancing, dancing. When the SPECTERS vanish, BENJY lies on the theatre floor. He is dead.)
SEAN
Did you break his neck?
JONAS
Of course.
SEAN
We don’t want him to come back.
JONAS
He can join the others here.
SEAN
I envy them a little bit, you know. All they have to do is dance. Every night. That’s all. No responsibilities, no pain. No hunger. Just the dance.
JONAS
Do you regret it? Being what we are?
SEAN Not anymore. We both agreed to it, after all.
JONAS
You convinced me.
SEAN
You were my best friend. I loved you more than anything else. I still do.
(JONAS smiles at him. Touches his hair fondly. Moves to the pick and shovel. Picks up the shovel.)
JONAS
You can take the pick.
SEAN
Oh, thank you! You’ve always had my best interests at heart.
JONAS
For a hundred years.
SEAN
Two hundred.
JONAS
Two hundred.
SEAN
And for two hundred more?
JONAS
If we’re smart.
SEAN
(gestures with the pick) We will be.
JONAS
We’ll dig our holes. We’ll dig them deep.
SEAN
And we’ll bury ourselves.
JONAS And we’ll sleep. It won’t be so bad. Not as bad as what will happen to them.
SEAN
What if we don’t wake up? Or what if we do and they’re –
JONAS
They’ll return. They’re very resilient. Remember?
SEAN
I remember.
JONAS
And we’ll have each other.
SEAN
We’ll always have each other.
JONAS
Come on. Take your pick and I’ll take the shovel. Let’s leave this place for the dead. We’re not like them and we never will be.
(a moment of melancholy)
We never will be.
(SEAN takes JONAS’ hand with his free one. Squeezes it.)
SEAN
And we don’t want to be.
(A beat. JONAS smiles.)
JONAS
And we don’t want to be. Come on.
(They exit the theatre. BENJY’S corpse lies where it has fallen. The SPECTERS return. There is no music. They hover and flit, hover and flit, as the lights fade.)
END OF PLAY
