Scene Overview

Show Type
Play
Age Guidance
Thirteen Plus (PG-13)
Genders
  • Female: 2
  • Male: 0
Style
Comedic
Length
Short
Time Period
Contemporary
Time/Place
England, Present Day
Act/Scene
Act 1

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Context

Text

Victoria: It does seem rather complicated...

President: Nothing complicated about it. We’re the Over-60s Ladies’s Bowling Club. We are famous for having some of the best ball work in the county.

Victoria laughs immaturely. Manages to turn her laughter into a cough.

Victoria: Ten pin or crown green?

President: Crown green, naturally.

Victoria: Naturally!

President: (looking Victoria up and down) You are perfect member material. A woman. An older lady like the rest of us and one who shares our passion for bowls.

Victoria: Bowels? I’m flattered but-

President: (examining Victoria very closely) You’re...almost sixty aren’t you?

Victoria: Fifty-nine and seven eighths actually...

President: You’re almost senior then.

Victoria: Almost senile?

President: And you’ll be eligible to be a club member very soon.

Victoria: Not sure I have the necessary requirements.

President: Good, we look forward to interviewing you formally.

She waltzes off.

Victoria: (calling after her) Do you want to strip search me as well? Don’t forget your ball-bag!

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Links

If you are interested in licensing Stupid Old Cow for a full production, please contact Edward Chapman through his website

Edward Chapman's Wikipedia entry:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EdChapman(artist)

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