INFORMER What are these birds with downy...

INFORMER What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable

to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.

PITHETAERUS Oh! it's a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes

another one, humming along.

INFORMER Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon

you.

PITHETAERUS It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; it stands in

great need of the swallows' return.

INFORMER Where is he who gives out wings to all comers?

PITHETAERUS Here I am, but you must tell me for what purpose you

want them.

INFORMER Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have.

PITHETAERUS Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?

INFORMER I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands, an informer...

PITHETAERUS A fine trade, truly!

INFORMER ...a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings

to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice.

PITHETAERUS Would you do this better if you had wings?

INFORMER No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return

with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast.

PITHETAERUS So it seems, despite all your youthful vigour, you make

it your trade to denounce strangers?

INFORMER Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig.

PITHETAERUS But, by Zeus! there are honest ways of gaining a living

at your age without all this infamous trickery.

INFORMER My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words.

PITHETAERUS It's just my words that gives you wings.

INFORMER And how can you give a man wings with your words?

PITHETAERUS They all start this way.

INFORMER How?

PITHETAERUS Have you not often heard the father say to young men

in the barbers' shops, "It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has

made my son fly to horse-riding."-"Mine," says another, "has flown

towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination."

INFORMER So that words give wings?

PITHETAERUS Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a

man soar to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings

to fly to some less degrading trade.

INFORMER But I do not want to.

PITHETAERUS What do you reckon on doing then?

INFORMER I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation

we have lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some

light, swift hawk or kestrel wings, so that I may summon the islanders,

sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying

pinions.

PITHETAERUS I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even

before he appears.

INFORMER That's just it.

PITHETAERUS And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying

to the islands to despoil him of his property.

INFORMER You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither

like a perfect humming-top.

PITHETAERUS I catch the idea. Wait, I've got some fine Corcyraean

wings. How do you like them?

INFORMER Oh! woe is me! Why, it's a whip!

PITHETAERUS No, no; these are the wings, I tell you, that make the

top spin.

INFORMER  (as PITHETAERUS lashes him) Oh! oh! oh!

PITHETAERUS Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you

will soon see what comes of quibbling and lying.  (The INFORMER flees.

To his slaves)  Come, let us gather up our wings and withdraw.  (The

baskets are taken away.)

Aristophanes, The Birds.

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