Abbey sits on a stool sewing...

_PART 1. Abbey sits on a stool sewing a white wedding veil. Maxwell and Bobby slowly walk across from stage left to right. Bobby has a bag of money and a small shaker. He appears to explain to Maxwell that he needs to sprinkle the powder in the jar, over the money. Bobby then leaves. Maxwell begins sprinkling the powder into the money bag. _

Abbey: (Stitching a white veil) Hey, thanks for driving me home the other night, Maxwell.

Maxwell: (Sprinkling the powder into the bag) It’s fine… I feel fine… everything is… fine. (Sigh). (Places the bag and shaker on a stool) You know, I told my father that I took a young lady home from a dance...

Abbey: A lady? Who? (Realises that he’s talking about her) Oh!

Maxwell: (Steps away from the money bag) Hmm, he was so proud of me. He dearly wants me to marry and settle down.

Abbey: You? Marry? But you're...

Maxwell: My father doesn't know. If he found out, he would disown me. I'd be fired. I'd lose my flat... Everything!

Abbey: My father says, homosapians are evil.

Maxwell: I think he means… “homosexuals.”

Abbey: Same difference. He couldn't fire you… could he?

Maxwell: He wouldn't need to. I would be arrested and sent to jail for just being with another bloke. They say it's a sickness.

Abbey: Your father must be sick, alright.

Maxwell: No, I mean… I'd love to get married. (Holds up the wedding veil and places it on his head) I could see myself in sexy, white wedding dress!

Maxwell and Abbey sing a song “When I Get Married.”

PART 2

(Maxwell throws the flowers over his head. Jude walks on and catches them… hopefully).

Jude: Sorry I'm late... My dog ate my alarm clock.

Abbey: You don't have a dog.

Jude: (Whispers to Abbey) Ha, I don't have an alarm clock!

(Mr Kite enters).

Mr Kite: Good morning Maxwell. Is your father in today?

Maxwell: (Flustered and intimidated. Maxwell nods and shakes his head as he talks. He quickly takes off the veil). Oh, Mr Kite. He IS… not here… sorry, I mean…YES, he’s not here… so… NO, he was… Yes…

Mr Kite: Maxwell, you really are quite pathetic at this occupation, aren't you.

Maxwell: Yes sir, I mean… (Regretfully) Yes sir!

Mr Kite: And this place is filthy. Who does the cleaning?

Jude: That is me, sir.

Mr Kite: Well, you're not very competent, are you! You're both quite… useless, really. Never mind, I'll catch up with your father later.

Maxwell: Yes sir, thank you sir.

Mr Kite: (Notices the bouquet of flowers in Abbey’s hands) Oh, are they for me?

(He takes them and exits stage right).

Jude: What was that all about? You were a gutless, knob!

Maxwell: He’s always made me feel… useless. I don’t know what to do?

Jude: Just tell him to take his… “competency,” and, piss off!

Maxwell: You don't understand, he could have me fired… He could have us BOTH fired! Him and my father are VERY close.

Jude: (Concerned) He said I was “useless”… I try my best to keep this place clean… it’s not easy you know.

Maxwell: (Sacastically) I’m sure running a rag over a counter must get quite… strenuous.

(Jude turns away from him and is obviously fuming).

Maxwell: Excuse me everybody, I have an important announcement.

(Clears his throat and tries to appear confident) Ahem… gather round please everyone…

(The staff slowly begin to gather, but continue talking).

Excuse me… excuse me please…

(Everybody continues talking, until Jude raises her hand and everybody immediately stops)

Thank you… Jude. I have a message… from my father. He's decided that we are now going to open on Saturdays.

Abbey: That could be alright, we'll get more pay.

Maxwell: (Mumbles) For no extra pay.

Jude: What did you say?

Maxwell: He expects all the females to work for no extra pay. But, you'll still get Sunday's off. It's a good deal!

Jude: (Begins to speak louder, and the other female workers begin to look agitated) So, you want us to work an extra full day… A Saturday… For free?

Maxwell: I told my father, this was a bad idea.

Abbey: And what did he say?

Maxwell: He told me to shut up. You'll still get Christmas Day off…

Jude: …Shut up, Maxwell. I want you to tell your greedy father that WE WILL BE HAPPY to work Saturdays, for no wages… As soon as hell freezes over.

Girls: Yeah!

Jude: In fact, I want you tell your father, that if he doesn't start paying us all the same wages as men… right now, we are going to strike… effective, immediately!

Girls: Yeah!

Jude: If the females walk out, you'll have nobody to serve the customers, nobody to do the accounts, nobody to serve the tea, and nobody to clean the stinking lavatories.

Girls: YEAH!

Maxwell: Nobody ever challenges my father… Nobody! He always gets his way.

Jude: Your father really doesn't want to mess with a team of angry women… because now… this means war… man!

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