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- Female: 2
- Male: 2
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Context
Crispin, the manager, suggests a pub quiz to fill the time. Janet states she loves a quiz. By this time, the audience should understand that it won’t go well.
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CRISPIN — … What about a quiz? Everybody loves a quiz. The Funky Monkey Lodge & Spa quizzes are legendary, aren’t they, Tania?
TANIA — If by legendary, you mean non-existent, then yes.
JANET — Ooh, I love a quiz. Go on, Crispin, ask me anything. Anything at all.
SIMON — Oh, God, here we go.
CRISPIN — Uh, okay. Um … name me a famous Arthur.
JANET — (BEAT) CHARLES DICKENS! Go on, go on, ask me another.
CRISPIN — Uh, okay. Um … Name me a mythical creature that was half-man, half-bull.
JANET — (BEAT) BUFFALO BILL! Ooh, I’m on a roll, Crispin, ask me another.
CRISPIN — Uh, okay. Um … Can you name me the five continents?
JANET — (BEAT) A, E, I, O & U!
CRISPIN — Right, maybe not a quiz then. Oh, you’re going to love this. I’m sure I saw some board games in a cupboard somewhere. (EXITS) Tania, Tania, come along!
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