MALCOLM LET’S DO THIS. DIANE I stil...

MALCOLM LET’S DO THIS.

DIANE I still don’t think this is a good idea.

McKenzie spins around, revealing a very pregnant belly.

MCKENZIE Oh, we’re doing this.

DIANE I don’t want you to get hurt.

MCKENZIE Stop being a little bitch. We have a perfect record. We’re going to keep our perfect record.

DIANE You’re pregnant. There has to be a rule against this.

MALCOLM There isn’t.

McKenzie shoots him a look.

MALCOLM (cont’d) I checked. I don’t want to get disqualified.

DIANE Did your doctor say it was okay?

MCKENZIE My doctor is a punk.

DIANE Oh my god.

MCKENZIE There was a woman last year who ran a marathon seven months pregnant. I can pound a ball across the court at six-and-a-half.

DIANE I’m just worried about you.

MCKENZIE We’re not at work. It doesn’t matter if you’re worried. You’re not liable.

DIANE Well, it’s the company team--

MALCOLM You’re not liable. I checked.

DIANE (to Malcolm) Well, thank you, but--

(to McKenzie) --as your friend, I’m worried. That’s all.

MCKENZIE Listen. I’m the best player we’ve got.

DIANE You were the best player. But there’s a reason Karl took your place on the team.

MCKENZIE Not because he’s a better player than me.

DIANE No, but he’s a lot less pregnant than you.

MCKENZIE And he doesn’t work here anymore, so GAME ON!

MALCOLM She’s right. Now that Karl is at Transapption, we don’t have a chance of beating Thriftygress without her. I heard they demolished Citygrazr last week. They’re monsters.

McKenzie hops up and down, shaking out her hands.

MCKENZIE And we’re going to beat them so hard they’re going to have to dissolve their corporate charter and look for jobs on MONSTERS-DOT-COM!

(she pumps her fist)

Ba-BANG!

DIANE McKenzie, you know how much I want to beat Thrifty-gress. And I know they’d like to beat us after we beat them for the rights to sell through DomicIsle. I’m just saying, our company is twice the size of theirs now, so maybe it’s okay if we don’t win a schoolyard game, under the circumstances.

MALCOLM It’s a perfect season.

DIANE It’s a cost-benefit, Malcolm.

MALCOLM Yeah, the cost is our perfect season, and the benefit is we keep our perfect season. They’re undefeated, too. If we lose to them, they’re going to win the championship.

DIANE Maybe we can call Roxanne and see if she can get down here--

MCKENZIE Roxanne? That girl’s a good programmer, but she’s like if a china tea cup had osteoporosis. I’m playing. We are not losing to them. I am not watching Tabitha hold that trophy over her fat f#&king head.

DIANE Whoa. #CelebrateMySize.

MCKENZIE She can celebrate my ass.

MALCOLM Who’s Tabitha?

MCKENZIE She’s a bully.

DIANE I think you’re being a bully.

MCKENZIE It’s not bullying to stand up to a bully. That’s standing up for yourself. She doesn’t like the positions I chose? She can choose her own. That’s my life. That’s not her life. And she can keep her stupid mouth shut. #StandUpForYourself.

DIANE Where do you even know her from?

MCKENZIE Class.

DIANE Like, debate class?

MCKENZIE No. Lamaze class.

Deflection was developed with The CRY HAVOC Company

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